REMOTE 2: Rerun
by Link and Luigi
Summary: An invention goes wrong and once again helpless tennis players are scattered across strange and unusual universes. Now with thirty percent more ninjas, pirates, cowboys, vampires, crossovers, superheroes, zombies, Mary-Sues, elves, robots, ANGST and more.
1. Rerun

Remote 2: RERUN

Channel 101- Rerun

Inui leaned away from his data book and paused a moment. He looked over at the infamous remote that sat innocently on a bookshelf. Then he turned back to the data book and finished up his record of the events to the best of his memory.

"_As for me, once I checked to see both of my eyes were intact and still in my head, I didn't need to ask anymore questions. I rest assured knowing that power source of the remote has been removed and such an adventure could never happen again."_

He looked satisfied and put his pen down.

His eyes once again wandered to the remote.

Then he picked up the pen again.

"_Still_," he wrote. "_I do wonder what might happen if I were to press the button again."_

With that, he put the pen down and shut the book.

He leaned back in his chair with a sigh, his eyes wandering back towards the remote. It seemed like only yesterday that he was hopping around to different Universes trying to undo all the mistakes he had caused.

"That's right," he sighed as he leaned forward so all four legs of the chair were on the floor again. "That's because it _was._"

Inui would have chuckled warmly to himself if not for the fact that he's Inui and therefore that would be _way _too out of character.

Once again, he discovered his eyes had fallen on the remote.

So, finally, he stood up and strode over to it, examining it carefully. It seemed so harmless; impossible to believe the events that had occurred.

In his attempts to make the most superior television remote control of all time, he somehow created some sort of device that allowed him and thirty other fellow tennis players to transcend Universes. However, there was a problem.

He had no control over which Universe he was going to and, what's worse, it took a considerably long time to collect all the people he had inadvertently involved in his accidental experiment. He didn't know if he was ever going to live it down or if he should just act as though it never even happened.

"It'll work," Inui decided. "I'll just pretend everyone else is crazy."

He looked at the power source sitting right next to the remote.

"Perhaps I should destroy this," Inui said, looking back at the remote as well. "Both of them. That way, I can be sure it will never happen again. There is still the slight chance that someone would reinstall the power source and press the button without realizing the damage that could be done."

Inui picked both of them up and was about to turn around and be on his merry way, but he was instead faced with a very familiar face that he would have preferred to not see.

"Oh…why…hello Akutsu…" Inui said, sounding somewhat nervous. "Why are you here…in my house…?"

"Don't be stupid and just tell me where it is," Akutsu commanded.

"Where what is?"

"You know what I mean!" Akutsu said angrily. "That stupid remote! That thing that made us change Universes!"

"If you're concerned over the potential of it malfunctioning and teleporting us around again, then you really don't have to worry," Inui assured him. "I was actually just on my way to destroy it—"

"Give me that!" Akutsu ordered as he swiped the remote from Inui.

Inui flinched slightly, but decided to not let Akutsu know about the power source in his _other _hand.

"How does it work?" Akutsu demanded as he pressed random buttons.

"It's the strangest thing," Inui crossed his arms. "For some reason, when we reappeared back in our correct Universe, the remote suddenly stopped working entirely. Isn't that the strangest thing?"

"No," said Akutsu as he turned it over. "It probably just needs new batteries. You got any batteries?"

"Now, Akutsu," Inui sighed. "First of all, I already told you that the remote was entirely broken. Second, it is not powered by batteries. Third, even if it was still functioning and it _was _powered by batteries, why would I give you batteries so that you can power it up and press the button again?"

"Oh I don't know," said Akutsu. "Because you want to keep all your teeth in your head?"

Inui raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Well, as I said, it is broken," said Inui. "And there's nothing I can do."

"Damn it!" Akutsu said. "Now I'm stuck in _this _lame Universe?"

Inui frowned. "Why do you want to leave this one?" he asked.

"Because this one is stupid and the future is so much better," Akutsu answered.

"And what if, when you pressed the button, you didn't end up going to the future again?" Inui said. "What if you ended up in one of the other Universes, like the Mary-Sue one? What then?"

"As long as the Universe didn't involve tennis, it would be an improvement," Akutsu said childishly.

"I see," Inui adjusted his glasses. "Well, that being said, I must request that you take your leave in whatever way you came in, please."

"Whatever," said Akutsu as he slammed the remote down on the table. He started to walk away, but then he stopped and turned around. "If you like _this _Universe so much, then why'd you make that thing in the first place?"

"My intention was not to create a device that would take us to other Universes," Inui answered. "I was actually just trying to make an excellent television remote control."

"Figures," said Akutsu. "What a waste. If you figured out how to work it right, you'd probably be a millionaire."

Akutsu departed and Inui gave a sigh of relief. In mid-sigh, his breath stopped. What had Akutsu just said about a million dollars?

He stared at the doorway where Akutsu had left.

Inui pondered about what he would do with himself if he had that much money. All it would take was a little bit of tweaking in a controlled environment…

He quickly banished the idea from his head. It was best to just destroy the remote and the power source and forget he had ever thought it up.

Still…

He prodded the device curiously.

He eyed the power source.

He eyed the remote.

Gently, he lifted the power source up and opened the back of the remote. (Just so you know, the power source is AAA batteries so, yeah, Inui told Akutsu several straight lies to his face.) _Click,_ _click… _the two batteries fell right into place without even making Inui struggle with the springs.

The remote immediately made a familiar beeping sound. It was the same beeping sound that it normally made whenever it was warning them that a mission was coming or that they had found another person.

Inui shook his head at his temporary lapse in judgment. He put the remote back on the table and decided to shun it. Ignore it.

Of course, in the process of his spontaneous shunning, he crashed into Akutsu _again_. As it turns out, Akutsu had been lurking the hallway, expecting Inui to go back on his earlier plans, and now he was on the warpath! Akutsu was, not Inui. But you knew that.

"Liar!" Akutsu yelled as he dove for the remote.

"Don't touch it!" Inui commanded as he dove for it as well.

They both missed the remote and landed on the table like oafs, causing the table to break under their weight. Even though this absolutely defies the laws of physics and gravity, the remote shot up into the air in slow motion as the two boys crashed to the floor.

They looked up and watched as the remote fluttered through the air, tumbling around and around in every direction. It was plummeting towards the ground, now, and there was no telling how it would land.

All they could do was hold their breath.

The remote landed, face down, pressing all the buttons at once. It clattered and landed, and everything was still.

Inui exhaled, relieved that it did nothing.

"What?" demanded Akutsu.

"Good thing," said Inui as he sat up.

Of course, his relief was short lived. This would be a pretty short sequel if the remote ended up not working, huh?

The remote made a slight humming sound, and abruptly, it was encircled with white light. Inui knew right away what this meant and, even though he wanted to run and hide, he knew his fate was inevitable. He braced himself for the worst as the light expanded and engulfed both him and Akutsu.

Akutsu let out an eerie and diabolical laugh that seriously creeped Inui out, but he quickly learned that that was the least of his troubles.

When his eyes focused again, he took a moment to glance at his surroundings and try to figure out where he was.

"Hey."

There was a voice below him. He looked down to see Momo crouched down with an angry expression on his face.

"Good afternoon," Inui said.

"And what is _this _all about?" Momo said as he made a grand sweeping motion with his arm, gesturing around at their location.

Inui turned around and discovered that he was in a cave. A strange cave that had a bizarre familiarity to it. He took a few steps forward and looked up to see an opening to the cave that had light pouring in.

Then he put his hand on his head and realized he was wearing a massive pirate hat.

Then he realized he had no depth perception so he put his hand on his face and found he was wearing a patch.

Then he looked at Momo who was now sitting down looking irritated. Momo was also dressed as a pirate. And, if his memory was loyal to him, Inui knew that they were both dressed the same way they had been the last time they had been jumping around in the Universes. Finally, he recognized where they were.

"We were here when he changed Universes last time," Inui said.

"No shit, Sherlock," Momo said.

Inui looked cross with Momo's foul language.

"What happened?" Momo demanded since he didn't care about Inui's cross expression.

Inui quickly checked his pockets, but the remote wasn't in any of them. Just when he was about to fret foolishly, he spotted it on the ground, still laying in the exact same position it was in when it had flown off the table.

He picked it up. "It's all Akutsu's doing…" Inui said, brushing off the screen. "I can't believe we—"

He stopped dead.

"What is it?" Momo asked.

"It's…the counter…" Inui said. "It's…I don't understand."

"Don't tell me we have to collect thirty people again," Momo whined.

"Worse," Inui said, kneeling down and showing the screen to Momo. "We have to collect fifty."


	2. Gunpowder

Channel 102- Gunpowder

"Technically, I guess it's forty-eight," Momo said as he stood on top of the cave and pulled the vine. Inui was still in the cave and had tied the treasure chest to the vine. After they had gone through all the trouble of finding it, they figured they deserved the treasure.

After Momo finished pulling the treasure up, he threw the vine down for Inui, who proceeded to pull himself up as well.

"This is odd," Inui said. "It's as if we never left. We're in the same place. It's just like when we returned to our original Universe. Even though it seemed like fifty days passed for us, no time had passed for anyone else. It seems as though the same rules apply here as well."

"Which means everyone else probably popped into whatever they were doing when we left the first time," Momo sat down and double checked to make sure all the gold coins were still gold and valuable.

"Most likely," Inui agreed.

"What does that mean for people like Oshitari who ended up dead at the end of our adventure in _that _Universe?" Momo pondered.

Inui sat down next to Momo and looked thoughtful.

"I don't know," he said finally.

"And why does the counter say forty-eight, anyway?" Momo asked. "I mean, when I came in the room last time, didn't the counter say twenty-nine?"

"I'm not sure," Inui confessed. "It's likely we have accidentally scattered more people than last time."

"Did you just say 'we'?" Momo said, raising an eyebrow.

Inui sighed. "_I_," he corrected himself.

"All right, all right…" Momo said. "I don't think I want to do this whole thing again, but I guess we don't have a choice."

"Thank you for being so rational about this," Inui said. "I am thankful that I didn't end up with someone like Fuji…" He trailed off a little. "Whom we will have to eventually face at some point…"

Inui put his hand on his neck protectively.

"Enough!" said Momo. "What's the mission?"

Inui raised the remote and checked the screen. "It says we have to sink a ship," he answered.

"No problem," Momo said. "The hardest part will be finding a ship."

"The first thing we have to do is get back to our own ship," Inui said as he grabbed one side of the treasure chest. Momo grabbed the other and the two of them backtracked to the beach where their boat was still waiting.

They threw the chest onto the boat and Inui was just about the climb in when Momo cleared his throat.

"What?" Inui asked.

"So I have to push the boat all by myself into the water while you just sit in it, making _more _weight for me?" he inferred.

"Think of it as training for future tennis matches," Inui said as he pulled himself up over the edge and climbed in. "Besides, I thought you liked the feeling of wet pant legs covered in sand."

"Shut up!" Momo commanded.

Inui's first reason had been enough for him so he gave a mighty, "Heave ho!" as he pushed the boat into the water. At first, it was quite difficult, but once it was in, he didn't have any trouble getting it deep enough for them to use the oars.

The hard part was getting inside the boat without causing it to capsize. Inui leaned his weight all the way over in the other direction in hopes that that might even out the weight distribution. When Momo was finally inside the boat, he was already tired.

"You have to help me row," Momo pointed out.

"_Or _you could use it as conditioning for future tennis matches…" Inui tried.

"Don't bother," Momo said. "We have to get back fast so we can get through everyone and get home. So help me row!"

"Very well," said Inui as he took an oar. "Because I respect your optimism and responsibility, I will help."

"You should just help because that's the nice thing to do," Momo commented.

"Whatever," said Inui.

The two started rowing back to the ship that was sitting idly by in the ocean. Or sea. Or wherever they are.

It was a long and arduous journey, and Momo pulled out his telescope to look only about four times, but by the time they got back, the other pirate flunkies were there to help them pull the boat up onto the pirate boat.

The pirate flunkies were thrilled about the treasure and circled around it. Inui let them have it since he wasn't so concerned about something he wasn't going to be able to keep once they jumped Universes. Instead, he went straight to his captain's quarters, and Momo followed because the pirates were annoying him.

"We have to find a ship to sink," Inui said as he looked at the unrolled map that was on his desk already. "Where can we find a ship like that?"

"Why don't we just roll into a port and sink one of the ships there?" Momo asked.

"Because then it would be us against an entire port of ships," Inui pointed out. "We need to find a ship that is on its own so we can sink it and not worry about any other ships around us."

"Okay…" said Momo, looking the map over. Unfortunately, he quickly discovered that the map didn't outline where ships were.

"So it will be considerably difficult to locate one…" Inui came to this conclusion in record breaking time.

"What do we do then?" Momo asked. "Sail around blindly until we happen to stumble across a ship that we can sink?"

"Well—" Inui started, but he was interrupted by some shouting coming from outside.

Then the door to the captain's quarters burst open and one of the flunkies came running in. "Cap'n!" he shouted. "Tey've fina'ly caught up with us!"

"Oh," said Inui. "I see. Who is 'they'?"

But the pirate flunkie threw his arms up into the air and ran away screaming about how they all had to arm themselves and such.

Momo and Inui looked at each other and then decided to join him in arming themselves.

When they got out onto the deck where other pirates were running around frantically, they looked off into the distant horizon to see that there was s ship approaching them.

"Well that's convenient," Momo commented.

"It may or may not be," Inui said, going to the edge of the boat. "It seems as though the crew fears this ship, and I guess they've been chasing us for some time."

"And?" said Momo.

"They must hold some sort of threat," Inui answered. "It might not be so difficult to sink their ship."

"Aha…" Momo said. "Hey, the remote is to just sink a ship, right? What if we sink our _own _ship?"

"Momo, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard," Inui said. "Please, before you come up with anymore great ideas, consider the outcome first, all right?"

"I'm just trying to speed things along!" Momo argued, feeling hurt and ashamed.

"What are your orders, Cap'n?" said some crewmates.

"Well, I say that we should sink it," Inui said.

"ARRR!" cheered the pirates as they waved their swords up into the air and started unloading the cannons.

"How hard is it to sink a ship?" Momo inquired of Inui.

"You've done it as many times as I have, Momo," Inui pointed out.

"True," Momo nodded.

The two of them decided to aid in the manning of the cannons as the evil ship got even closer to where they were. Actually, as it would have it, this ship that was coming closer wasn't evil at all; they were the good guys. The _pirate ship _is the evil ship! Tee-hee!

As the ship got closer, the pirates slowly got quieter. No one said anything as the two ships pulled right up next to each other.

Then came a cry of, "FIRE!"

No one knew who did said it, but everyone could hear, so they all pulled their cannons at the same time. Both ships fired their cannons at one another, blowing large gaping holes in the side.

Some of the pirates threw ropes across to the other ship and started swinging over to do some damage. Inui and Momo had only missed being destroyed by about a foot so they decided they were going to find some place else to hide and hopefully, whence they emerged later, the opposite ship would be at the bottom of the ocean.

When they resurfaced, they discovered that some of the guys from the other ship had swung over to their ship. So they commenced in dramatic sword fighting, complete with music to fight by.

"Body count is four so far!" Momo called to Inui.

"Make that five…" Inui said as he pulled his sword out of an opponent.

The battle continued for quite the while and many more good men died. Masts fell down and crushed more people but, thankfully, both Momo and Inui remained intact.

"We have to get over there and sink that ship," Inui said to Momo as they hid behind some stolen cargo.

"Go over to the other ship?" Momo inferred. "Where all the other guys who are trying to kill us are?"

"We have no choice," Inui answered.

So, ducking to avoid certain doom, Momo and Inui quickly got to the edge of the ship and swung across on ropes that had already been set up. When they landed, they immediately dove behind a stack of not stolen cargo.

"How are we going to do this?" said Momo, looking nervous.

Suddenly, Momo realized that they were currently hiding behind a barrel of gunpowder. Momo paused and looked at it, noticing that that particular barrel was surrounded by several more barrels just like it. He then slowly turned his head to look at Inui.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Momo asked Inui.

"Naturally," Inui answered.

They peeked their heads up over the barrels to see that everyone was distracted at the moment, so they had time to break open a barrel and roll it to the edge of the ship.

Inui pulled out his shotgun and pointed it at the trail of powder that led to the barrels.

"Hopefully this works outside of mere theory," Inui commented.

Momo was about to yell at him to hurry up, but Inui pulled the trigger, igniting the trail. They watched it travel quickly towards the barrels, and then realized they should avoid being on the ship when it was about to explode, so they promptly dove off the edge into the water with limited grace.

They swam down as deeply as they could without drowning themselves as the boat exploded behind them. Unfortunately, their own ship was caught in the blast so they had no other choice but to just keep swimming away from the wreckage.

Eventually, they reached the land where they had found the treasure. They could see the two ships both sinking at a horrifyingly slow rate.

Both exhausted, they dropped down in the sand to watch the sight.

"Well, that worked out as best it could," Momo commented after he had caught his breath.

"I agree," Inui said as he fished through his pockets for the remote. Luckily, he hadn't dropped it while swimming, or else both of them would be so sad.

"Let's hope that we don't get stuck in this Universe again on some future date, or else the two of us will be marooned on this island," Momo said.

"Please do not speculate that this will be a trilogy," Inui said.

"Which Universe came next?" Momo asked. "Wasn't it Taka and Eiji's Knight Universe?"

"Assuming we'll go in the same order, yes," Inui replied.

He held the remote up just as it stated their mission was complete.

"All right," Inui said. "You ready to go?"

"I guess so," Momo nodded.

Inui pressed the button and the duo was engulfed with a white light.

----

**Several people have asked us whether or not it's "okay" for you to read this story without reading the first one. Frankly, you can do whatever you want. I suppose the story is set up in such a way that you don't really have to, especially with certain circumstances. I guess reading this one independantly would be like seeing the second Ace Ventura movie. All you really miss out on are repirsing running gags and previous character development. So yes, it's all right to read this one without reading the first one... but we do recommend you read the first one first, is all. So that's it. LOLZ!**


	3. Reminicient

Channel 103- Reminiscent

It didn't feel like it had been so long since Momo and Inui had appeared in the courtyard and were greeted by Taka atop his horse.

They appeared in the very same courtyard and, after a moment of disorientation, they looked around.

"Well, here we are," Momo said. "What were we doing before we jumped Universes last time?"

"We had just rescued the princess from being kidnapped," Inui replied. "We spent approximately half a day in the Pirate Universe." Inui thought for a minute. "The princess's ball is probably still going on."

"Oh right," said Momo. "She was having a ball because she had to let everyone know she was of available age to marry."

"That's right, but then she got kidnapped," Inui pointed out.

"And then the king said that whoever rescued her got to marry her," Momo added with a slight laugh.

"And then Taka rescued her," Inui finished.

The two stood there a moment and then looked at each other.

They didn't know whether to slap their knees and laugh or to go find Taka to rescue him from marrying the princess.

Finally, the silence grew too awkward so Momo cleared his throat.

"So…do you remember where Taka lives?" he asked. "The ball is invite only so there's no way we'll get in. We could just meet him back at his house."

"That is all we can do for now," Inui nodded.

They crossed the courtyard to the row of houses that Taka and led them to during their last visit. It was difficult to recall which house he had lived in so they had to check inside every one so it was a good thing that everyone was at the ball or else they may have been skewered by an angry knight who didn't approve of trespassers.

When they finally discovered their desired location, they made themselves at home while waiting for Taka and Eiji to return.

Outside was quiet, aside from the sound of music coming from the castle on the other side of the courtyard. It continued for a long time until it became dark. Inui and Momo figured the party was still going on because they could still hear the music but, nevertheless, they were still concerned and mostly anxious about going home.

"Let's crash the party and kidnap _Taka_!" Momo announced irrationally.

"I don't even have to respond to that, right?" Inui raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just so tired of this!" Momo grumbled. "I mean, it's like the Never Ending Story. Except there's no Luck Dragon."

Inui's eyebrow went higher and it made a sound effect.

"Well, whatever," said Momo as he kicked his boots off and lied down on the bed in the corner. "You can do what you want. _I'm _going to sleep."

"Really?" Inui looked out the window. "Now?"

"We've been rowing and swimming all day!" Momo said.

"You can do whatever you want," Inui said. "I'm not judging you."

"You sounded like you were," Momo eyed Inui.

So Momo went to sleep. Inui tried to stay awake in order to greet Taka right away. Besides, he didn't want Taka to come back and discover them both sleeping. Even though it was people he knew, the initial shock might just send him into a murderous rampage and Inui didn't want that.

However, he ended up falling asleep anyway. Oh well.

He was sleeping with his arm leaning on the window sill and his head out the window. So, when the sun finally rose, it shinned directly in his eyes, waking him up at the crack of dawn.

Which was good, especially since he didn't want to be sleeping in the first place.

When he looked around the humble home, all he saw was Momo still sleeping. As far as he could tell, Taka and Eiji had not returned last night.

He sighed and opened the door, shielding his eyes from the sun. He sorted out what his possibilities for the day were. And it all started with the choice of whether or not to wake Momo up.

He decided to wake him up.

"Did they come back?" Momo said with a yawn.

"Unfortunately, no," Inui replied.

"So what's the plan?" Momo shrugged.

"We're going to go to the princess's balcony," Inui replied as he went to the door to leave. "We'll see if she knows anything."

"What makes you think she would talk to us?" said Momo as he stood up and hopped after Inui while trying to put his boots on. "Last time we even looked at her, she fainted out of fright. And even though that seems like it was two months ago to us, it was only yesterday for her."

Inui gave a heavy sigh. "Well, Momo," he began. "I guess it was silly of me not to ask if _you _had any great ideas."

Momo lowered his head in shame.

"No?" Inui asked.

Momo shook his head.

"Okay, good," said Inui. "Let's go."

They started to leave, but then Inui stopped.

"On second thought," he said. "Let's get changed first. I don't think the people in this Universe will be accustomed to seeing pirates running around."

So they rummaged through Taka's things and found outfits to wear that made them look like knights, which made them feel cool. Then they ran across the courtyard to the biggest and most romantic balcony there was. They jumped behind a tree that they could have sworn they hid behind the last time the visited the balcony.

"You know, maybe this run through of the Universes won't take as long because we already know where everything is," Momo said. "And, in some cases, we know the people there too."

"Yes, but in some of those very same cases, we have antagonized those people we know," Inui reminded him.

"How so?" Momo looked confused.

"Remember the Ninja Universe?" Inui said. "Or the Soccer Universe?"

"Oh right…" Momo frowned. "I feel bad for the people who reappeared in a bad situation that we left in the middle of." He pondered for a moment. "Didn't we leave Shishido and Ootori from Hyoutei in the middle of an explosion?"

"I'm more concerned about Fuji and Oishi's date we left them in the middle of…" Inui admitted.

Momo could not articulate his fear.

It was a good thing they were both distracted just then by the princess coming out onto the balcony, dancing around and looking absolutely content with her current life.

"Should we jump her and tie her up and—" Momo started but Inui covered his mouth.

"As far as she's concerned," Inui started. "We're knights. Remember?"

He gestured towards their clothing.

"Right…" Momo said, feeling sly.

The princess was on her balcony doing princessy things like befriending deer, birds and small animals when she noticed Inui and Momo coming from in the trees. Since she has not previously been set up to be a particularly smart young woman, she didn't recognize them as the pirates that had once abducted her and, instead, immediately assumed they were knights since they were wearing knightly clothing.

"May I help you, young knights?" she inquired pleasantly.

"We were just wondering if you were all right after the incident last night," Inui said. "We heard about the commotion and were concerned."

"Why thank you for your kind words," the princess said. "I appreciate your concern, but I assure you I am just fine."

"What a relief," said Inui.

He was about to continue a roundabout way of asking about Taka, when Momo interjected with, "You were kidnapped, huh? Sure wish I could have been the one who saved you! After all, the one who saved you ended up being the one to marry you, right?"

The princess giggled as Inui glared at Momo for speaking out of turn.

"My father is always saying things like that," she said. "In the end, it is my decision who I will marry." She gave a dreamy sigh. "As fate would have it, however, the one I wish to marry is the very same man who rescued me from the kidnappers!"

"Sir…Takashi, right?" Inui inferred.

"That's right, young knight," the princess nodded.

"And so…yeah…do you know where he is?" Momo asked.

The princess looked confused. "Why?"

"We're big fans!" said Momo, giving her the thumbs up.

"Fans…?" the princess said, confused about what Momo was saying and his random gesture of putting his thumb in her general direction.

"Stop talking," Inui ordered, slapping Momo aside. Then he looked back to the princess who seemed quite perplexed. "Two nights ago, he summoned us to his home across the courtyard, and we have been waiting there but he has not returned."

"Oh, I see," the princess said. "I apologize causing you to wait longer, but Sir Takashi is going to be busy for the rest of the day and most of tomorrow as well."

"Is he going to break for lunch?" Momo said, sounding appalled.

"Busy with what, I wonder?" Inui asked, throwing another glare at Momo.

"Well, the jousting tournament is this afternoon," the princess answered. "And the wedding is tomorrow."

"Oh," said Inui, looking at Momo's uneasy expression. "That _would _make him one busy bee."

"Excuse me?" the princess questioned.

"Never mind," said Inui.

"If you like, you could give his squire a message," the princess offered.

"His squire!" said Momo. "His squire would be _lovely_."

"I'll have him sent down," the princess said as she left her balcony.

After a slight pause, Momo was the first to speak with, "Taka sure has a lot on his plate in the next few days, doesn't he?"

"That's for sure," Inui said. "Hopefully we'll be able to get a message through Eiji to Taka so we can gather and at least receive the mission."

They waited idly in the courtyard for a good while. It probably wasn't as long as they thought it was, but it sure seemed like a long time before Eiji finally appeared, looking as though he just rolled out of bed. And, thankfully, the remote continued its countdown so it was now a forty-seven.

"I _just _rolled out of bed," Eiji said, but then he happened to notice who the two people in front of him were. "Oh! Hey guys! So nice of you to drop by!"

"Eiji!" said Momo, standing up. "You slept in the castle?"

"Yeah," said Eiji. "After all, Taka's going to marry the princess, and I was made his personal servant!"

"Well…that's good for you, I guess," Momo said, wondering why Eiji looked psyched about that.

"So…" Eiji said slowly. "I have to admit, I was initially slightly taken aback when one minute I was brushing my teeth and then I was suddenly in the middle of a forest with Taka and an unconscious princess. Then I looked around and realized that the scene was very familiar and, working together, Taka and I quickly determined that we had been returned to the Knight Universe, but no time had passed at all!"

"Then what happened?" Inui asked.

"Well," Eiji began. "We were going to try to find a guy to hand the princess off to so that she would think that someone else rescued her so she would marry _that _guy instead. But she sort of woke up while we were riding around and saw that we did."

Eiji shrugged flamboyantly.

"Then everything snowballed because we had to take her back to the castle at that point," he continued. "And when we got there, she immediately told the king what had happened, so the king took it upon himself to announce it to everyone who was there and the Coming Out Ball pretty much instantaneously turned into an Engagement Ball."

"I'm sure Taka's freaked out about that!" Momo laughed.

"Well, at first," Eiji said. "But then I reasoned with him and said that you guys were probably on your way so he shouldn't have to worry! Besides, I don't think he's worried about the actual marrying part. I think the part he's _actually _concerned with is what happens _after_ you marry someone. If you know what I mean."

"Thank you for putting that image in my head, Eiji," Inui shook his head.

"No problem," Eiji said with a wink.

"All right, so we have to get to Taka so our mission will appear," said Inui. "Hopefully the mission will involve something that can be completed before the wedding so Taka would have to marry her."

"And do all the other things that go along with marriage," Eiji added.

"Yes…that too…" Inui looked at Eiji with this face that was like, "STOP SAYING THAT!"

"So where's Taka?" Momo asked Eiji.

"Well…" Eiji said. "I just woke up, so I don't really know. Give me a minute and I'll go inside and get changed and find out where he went, okay?"

"Okay," the pirates replied.

Eiji disappeared back into the castle. And not much time at all went by, but Momo and Inui like to exaggerate time so they gave Eiji crap when he got back despite his conscientious speediness.

"Anyway," Eiji said after they finished bitching. "He's at the lists practicing for the jousting tournament."

"The lists?" Momo and Inui repeated quizzically.


	4. The Future King

Channel 104- The Future King

"I basically just think they have a nerve to force me to get married," Taka said to the others after they traveled to the lists, which happened to be a name for a jousting arena. "It should be _obvious _to them that I'm only fourteen."

"The Universe probably aged you," Inui reasoned. "Like Sanada, except you don't have a driver's license to prove it."

"Still!" said Taka.

Taka wasn't shocked or surprised when Inui explained what had happened. He had sort of expected it, even right down to Akutsu wanting to return to the future Universe.

"I'm just surprised it took him as long as it did," Taka said with a shrug.

"After we get back after _this _ordeal, you have to promise that you're going to break that thing for real," Eiji said.

"I know, I know," said Inui with a sigh.

"I mean, just think of Oishi!" said Eiji. "He has to be a girl again!"

"I know," said Inui.

The remote beeped just then.

"Oh, what luck," Inui reported. "You won't have to marry the princess after all, as long as you win the jousting tournament."

"Oh, no problem except for the fact that I've never jousted before in my life," Taka said.

"What is jousting all about anyway?" Momo said, leaning on the fence.

"Essentially," Taka gestured towards the field. "The two opponents charge at each other with the lances. Let's say it's you versus me, Eiji."

"All right!" said Eiji, getting in the ready position.

"With our lances out, we strike at each other while on the horses so we go by each other like this," Taka said as he illustrated this motion with his arm outstretched. "If I knock Eiji off his horse, then I get a point for that round. If Eiji knocks me off, then he gets a point. Needless to say, one of us or both of us is eventually knocked off the horse. At that point, we draw our weapons and battle one on one."

"That seems easy enough," Momo commented.

"At least you know the rules well enough," Inui said. "It doesn't sound too hard, as long as you don't get paired up with the world champion or whatever."

"Worse," Taka said. "This is sort of an inauguration for me to enter the royal family, so I have to joust the princess's cousins from a neighboring country. It's supposed to be all in good fun, but I sense that her cousins don't really like me."

"Why not?" said Momo.

"Because everyone wanted her to marry a prince," Taka answered. "That way, there would be some kind of union of two separate lands."

"Well tough cookies for them," said Eiji. "_You're _the future king now, Taka! You can exile them if you want to!"

"I _don't_ want to!" Taka whined.

"Then all you have to do is beat them all in a jousting tournament," said Inui. "How many are there?"

"Two," Taka answered.

"They'll be here by about noon," Eiji said. "Another squire told me while I was getting ready."

"What do they look like?" Inui asked.

"Why?" said Taka. "You're not thinking about drastic measures again, are you?"

"Well, theoretically, if they're already dead then you automatically win," Inui shrugged.

"No way, Inui!" said Eiji as he put his hand out. "I say we make a pact right here and now to not kill anyone pointlessly! The only situation in which killing someone would be acceptable is if the mission explicitly states that we have to kill that particular person in order to switch Universes! All right?"

"I'll agree to that pact," Taka said as he put his hand out as well.

"Yeah…I think I will too," Momo said. "I mean… we killed a lot of people last time."

"Very well," said Inui. "It's a pact. But just try explaining it to Atobe and Oshitari."

"Well it's a pact so it's binding," Eiji said.

"So the cousins will be here at twelve," Inui said, trying to get back on track. "What time is it now?"

Everyone instinctively checked their wrists, only to quickly discover that none of them had a watch.

"All right…" Eiji looked up at the sky. "The sun seems sorta…well, at noon, the sun is supposed to be directly overhead and right now it's…there."

Eiji pointed to where the sun was and looked at Inui for approval.

"The sun is only directly overhead at noon if we are exactly on the equator," Inui said. "And, since we have absolutely no idea where on the globe this particular kingdom rests, that doesn't help us in the least bit."

"Oh," said Eiji. "So much for my awesome deductive reasoning skills."

"Yeah, so much for those," said Momo.

"Well, it doesn't really matter when they get here," Taka shrugged. "I mean, the jousting tournament has a set time."

"Now, does he have to beat both of them or only one?" Momo asked Inui.

"Why are you looking at me?" said Inui. "How am I supposed to know something like that? Seriously."

"I thought maybe you'd have deductive reasoning skills," Momo said.

"We'll just have to wait around this area during the tournament," Inui said. "And after you defeat the first opponent, come over to us and we'll see if we're permitted to leave."

"This tournament is invite only," Taka said. "You guys aren't going to be able to come!"

"Can you pull some strings?" Momo asked.

"Taka can pull whatever strings he wants…he's the future king!" Eiji announced.

"Eiji, stop saying that!" Taka said.

"Okay, okay…" Eiji said, looking dejected.

"Eiji does have a point, though," Inui said. "You can do basically anything you want at this point, Taka."

"I'm not king _yet_!" Taka reminded them. Then he backtracked. "I'm not going to be king at all, remember? We're going to be leaving this Universe before that even happens!"

"If all goes well, we'll be out of this Universe by this afternoon," Inui said. "If all _doesn't _go well, we don't have a second chance and I don't know what will happen then. So please ensure that you will win."

"I'll try my best…" Taka said.

"Are you _sure _you guys don't want to try my drastic measures?" Inui asked.

"Yes," everyone answered with a glare.

They were unable to continue because there was suddenly loud trumpet music coming from the castle. It sounded welcoming and happy.

"That must be them," Taka reasoned, looking regretful. "What do I do?"

"Wait for the tournament, and joust them of course," Inui answered.

Taka's face fell because this definitely wasn't something he wanted to do. Why, just a day ago, he was in his restaurant doing the thing he does best; thinking about tennis! And making food. But mostly thinking about tennis. However, _now _he was in this Universe, forced to joust some men who have clearly done this several more times than him and then forced to marry a princess whom he had only spoken to on two or three occasions. Woe is Taka.

"I'm going to stay here to practice a little more," Taka reported.

"Good idea," said Inui. "You need all the practice you can get."

Taka was just about to turn around and go off to practice when some random man came over and told him that the lists were now closed because they had to prepare the stands to accommodate several hundred people who would be watching.

"What?" Taka said as the four of them walked back towards the castle. "Now there's going to be an audience too? They are _trying _to make this as stressful as possible!"

"Don't worry, Taka, you just have to play to your strengths!" said Eiji. "You have to knock the guy off the horse, and then you get a man to man duel!"

"That's right, and you own at man to man duels!" said Momo. "And everyone knows that!"

"Yeah, but the hard part is knocking the other guy off the horse!" Taka said.

"Taka, you may find that you're more of a natural at jousting than you think," Inui said.

"What makes you say that?" Taka asked.

"Well, you didn't know that you could duel but you excelled at that," Inui said. "And it seems as though when we are thrown into these alternate universe situations, we become good at whatever it is our alternate universe self does. For example, someone like Kirihara can mount a horse though he has never done it before. Gakuto and Jirou had all the amazing abilities of ninjas instantaneously. Perhaps your alternate Universe self is good at jousting."

"Maybe," Taka said hopefully.

They started their trek back to the castle.

"Oh right," Inui said. "By the way Eiji and Taka, it seems as though we must collect several more people this time around than previous."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eiji asked.

"Well, the first time we left, the total people were thirty-one," Inui replied. "But this time, the total is fifty."

They considered this predicament.

"Then I feel sorry for the people who are in states of confusion instead of states of annoyance!" Eiji announced.

"We're practically experts at this Universe hopping thing so we should have no trouble finding them," Taka said.

"We'll see," Inui said.

They got to the castle, and Taka said that he would do what he could to get Momo and Inui invites to the joust, but no one was too worried about his success considering his imminent promotion.

So all they could really do was wait. They headed back to Taka's little house (which certainly wasn't going to be his house for _long_! HAW HAW HAW!) and decided to wait there.

"I hope that Seigaku gets to keep the majority again!" Eiji announced.

"What?" said Momo and Inui at the same time.

"Well, last time, Seigaku was in the majority the entire time," Eiji replied. "I hope that this time around, we don't collect people in a different order and therefore lose our authority as the majority! See?"

"Yes, especially with Atobe," Inui commented. "Speaking of which, his Universe is next. He and Oshitari."

"I can't wait to get there," said Momo. "I want to see what the deal with Oshitari is."

"What do you mean?" said Eiji.

"You know," said Momo. "Remember how Oshitari died right before we switched Universes last time?"

"Why are you excited to see Oshitari's dead body?" Eiji said, looking confused.

"I'm not!" Momo said, losing his temper way too quickly. "I'm just excited to see what the remote will do in response to the fact that someone is dead."

Inui stared at Momo. "I hope the counter goes down regardless," said Inui. "Or else we might be stuck there."

"If so, then I curse Oshitari ahead of time, and am therefore glad that he is dead!" Eiji announced.

"That is relatively evil of you, Eiji," Momo pointed out.

"What can I say?" Eiji said. "I get angry whenever Oishi's not around."

"True dat," said the others but, don't worry, they'll never say it again.


	5. Jousting

Channel 105- Jousting

"I find it kind of hard to believe that this jousting tournament is invite only," Momo said as he looked at the large gate that was in front of him. "I saw random peasants going in the gate."

"I find it even harder to believe that Taka could not use his authority to get us into the tournament," Inui said.

"I guess he doesn't have any authority _yet_," Momo pointed out.

"I'm fairly confident in Taka's ability to win, however," Inui said.

Momo looked irritated. "Where is Eiji?" he demanded.

"Pst!" just then, Eiji popped his head through the gate. "Did I just hear someone lovingly call my name?"

"Hurry up and let us in!" Momo ordered.

"I was really surprised when they didn't let you guys in," Eiji said as he pushed open the latch that kept the gate closed. Momo pushed it open and then they all closed the door behind them. That's right, they worked together because they're the bestest of friends.

Well no, probably not, but they _would _be. If…they… were. Okay, never mind.

Eiji led them to a small tent off to the side of the giant jousting field. Momo took only a moment to look at the crowd to see that it was quite large, and then at the field to see that it was quite intimidating. Eiji then gestured for him to hurry up and they sneaked in the back of the tent.

When they entered, Taka was sitting on a bench in full armor with his horse standing off to the side. Upon seeing them enter in his periph, he stood up and spun around.

"Where have you been?" he demanded, _actually _sounding angry. Let's face it, this is a first for Taka. Sure, he has Burning!Mode and everything, but I don't think that's anger. I think it's more sheer determination coupled with loud shouting. No, _this _statement was much more frightening than any Burning!Mode Taka they had ever seen.

Of course, they cowered in fear of what he might do because Taka could crush their faces in his palm if he wanted to.

But luckily, that's not something he would do. In fact, when he saw them cower, he immediately felt bad for scaring them so he took a few steps back and sat down again.

And then he apologized.

"Sorry," he said.

"It's okay, Taka," said the others, still a little hesitant.

"It's just…" Taka began. "I was just thinking about it! There's no second chance to this mission! And if I don't win then we're stuck here forever, and everyone else is stuck wherever they are, and I'll have to marry the princess!"

"In the long run, it wouldn't be _that _bad," Momo pointed out.

"Sh," Inui ordered Momo.

"It's just way too much pressure for me," Taka said since he was clearly too focused on his uncharacteristic angsting to even notice Momo's insensitive comment. "I don't know if I can do it, and I definitely won't be able to bear the responsibility of being the one who caused us never to go home."

Momo, Inui and Eiji looked at each other. Then Inui nodded at Eiji and gave him the go ahead to make some inspirational speeches.

"Come on, Taka!" said Eiji, patting him on the back. "Turn that frown upside down! You're so distracted with things that haven't even happened yet that you can't see the great opportunity that's in front of you!"

"Great opportunity…?" Taka looked confused.

Eiji took a deep breath. "Don't worry about it!" said Eiji. "Just keep your mind on task and play hard till the very end and just remember; we're proud of you no matter what happens! You've done great before under pressure! In fact, you often perform your best when there's a lot on the line, and we trust you because we know you act unselfishly with your mind on what's best for the team!"

"Eiji…" said Taka, looking so inspired.

"You don't have to carry all the burden yourself, because we're here to bear it with you!" Eiji continued. "Believe in yourself and trust your instincts in the same way we trust you!"

"You're right!" said Taka, standing up and grabbing his helmet. "I'm going to go out there and give it my all! Thank you, Eiji!"

With that, Taka grabbed the rein of his horse and practically frolicked out onto the field.

"That was your best one I have ever heard, Eiji," said Momo, clapping his hands.

"They're all Oishi's words!" Eiji gave Momo the thumbs up.

But then he spontaneously looked sad. No one had to ask him why he was sad because it was basically a given that he was sad because Oishi wasn't there.

After they got Eiji out of Angst!Mode, they poked their heads out of the tent to watch. Even though Eiji said that no one would blame Taka if he failed, they all knew deep down inside that they probably would. For this, they were ashamed.

Unfortunately, there were not loud speakers in this time, so a man with a loud voice stepped up to do the announcements. It is sad to think that this man only received his job because he has the ability to speak very loudly and still be understandable without straining himself. Nevertheless, this man stood up and announced that the joust would be between Sir Takashi, their future king, and the prince of a neighboring country who happened to be of vague kinship to the princess.

This prince was rather studly and he trotted about on his horse that wished it was as awesome as Taka's horse, though we all know it isn't. He waved to the crowd as they politely applauded since he was basically the bad guy of the particular joust since everyone wanted the home team to win. (In case you're slow, that's Taka.)

"I just had an idea," Inui said to Momo and Eiji.

"Yes?" they said innocently.

"Well," said Inui. "You both said that we should avoid killing people. That doesn't mean that we can't sabotage them."

"How so?" Momo asked since the idea of sabotaging something piqued his interest.

"See that tent over there?" Inui said. "That's where the other prince is. They probably saved the elder and more experienced jouster for the second round, so he will be more difficult for Taka to dismount."

"What are you going to do?" Eiji asked, not as interested in sabotaging things as Inui and Momo were.

"Come on," Inui ordered as they got up and ran around the outskirts of the field were no one could see them. When they got to the tent, the prince was standing on the outside of it, watching the joust. However, the horse was nowhere in sight so they could only assume that it was inside.

Sure enough, whence they entered, they saw the horse before them.

"We're missing the joust!" Eiji whispered.

"Sh," Inui ordered.

"What can we do to make everything more difficult for the prince?" Momo asked.

"Switch his weapon," Inui said, pointing to the sword that was sheathed on the horse.

So they proceeded to loosen saddle buckles and switch various things around without making it _totally _obvious. They only hoped that no one was going to check the horse before they sent him on his way to the joust.

They were just about to do something else to the horse when they could hear the people talking about how the Prince had to get ready for his turn, so our heroes promptly leapt out of the tent and ran back to Taka's tent, giggling maniacally.

"I have to admit, I did feel a little ninja right then," Eiji said.

"Is that a good thing?" Inui questioned.

"Course it is," said Momo. "Cause ninjas rock."

"As a fellow pirate, I am going to have to request that you refrain from using that sort of sentence again," Inui said. "The rivalry between pirates and ninjas is something I happen to take very seriously and I refuse to tolerate your blasphemy."

Neither Momo nor Eiji knew how to respond to that. But it was lucky that they didn't have to because there was suddenly an applause coming from the fields. They then remembered about the jousting tournament that was occurring on the other side of the tent they were hanging out in so they poked their heads out just in time to see the prince limping off the field and Taka standing there looking triumphant with his sword high in the air.

"BURNING!" Taka shouted and the crowd went wild.

"Well, it seems like he's pretty good," Eiji observed. "We didn't really have to sabotage the other prince, did we?"

"It would appear not," Inui said. "But one can never be too careful in this line of business."

"That is true," Momo nodded.

The previously mentioned character with the loud voice then stood up and made another announcement concerning the beginning of the next match that would involve Taka and the next prince.

"Let's watch this one, because I'm a little curious about how jousting works," Eiji said excitedly.

The other two agreed and they both sat there to eagerly wait for the match to start.

The two horses set up at either end of the fields and the people atop them were armed with their giant lances. Then, when the loud voiced man yelled for them to commence, they put the front of their helmets down and charged at one another.

There was a collision and the prince was catapulted off his horses as if he had just been shot out of a cannon.

"I like this sport," said Momo. "_I _want to try!"

"Stay quiet," Inui. "We're not even supposed to be here, remember?"

"Besides, he probably was only thrown that far because we sabotaged his horse," Eiji pointed out.

"Oh right," Momo nodded.

They watched as Taka hopped off his horse and drew his weapon as the prince scrambled to his feet and drew his weapon as well. Clearly, he was just as surprised with what had just happened as everyone else was.

He was even more surprised to discover that someone had changed his blade to one that was substantially heavier than the one he normally used. As he pulled it out of its sheath, he immediately fell forward under the weight.

This was, of course, bad for him, especially since Taka was currently in Burning!Mode as he charged at the prince with his sword drawn. The prince picked up his sword just in time to block a mighty swing, but it didn't do him much good because the sword just flung out of his hand just as far as he had flown off his horse.

"Point!" screamed the loud voiced man. "Sir Takashi is victorious!"

"Hurray!" cheered the ones waiting in the tent as they jumped up into the air and froze.

Inui double checked the remote to make sure it said complete. It did. Much rejoicing.

Then they realized that they didn't want to bring attention to themselves so they hid back in the tent to wait for Taka to return.

Unfortunately, the celebration was going on for longer than they were patient enough for.

"Geez, can't he just ditch them?" Momo looked annoyed.

"Let Taka live out his moment," said Inui. "A few minutes won't kill us."

"I know," said Momo. "But I'm just so excited to find out about the Oshitari business in the next Universe!"

"You'll find out eventually so just be patient!" Eiji ordered.

"Fine…" Momo pouted.

Eventually, Taka returned to the tent in good spirits, because not only had he defeated to opponents with his own abilities (as far as he knows) but he was well on his way to the next Universe!

"Here we go," said Inui as he pressed the button exactly one second after the white light engulfed them.

The reentry was smooth as it usually is. However, something did not happen as smoothly as they had hoped.

They expected to appear in a world without color. However, this world had color.

Also, they were in the middle of a garden. With flowers. In color.

"This isn't right," Inui noted.

"At least my horse came along again," Taka said contently as he patted his beautiful horse.

"This isn't the right Universe," Inui finally concluded.

"Aw man!" said Momo. "I wanted to see dead Oshitari."

"What is it with you and dead Oshitari?" said Eiji, putting his hands on his hips.

"I just want to see what happens," Momo said.

"I know, you've said that several times before," Eiji pointed out.

"You two, this is serious," said Inui. "We are in a different Universe."

"Well, you did say there were lots more people we had to collect," Taka reminded him. "So that means we must be in a new Universe to collect some of those new people."

"That must be what's happening…" Inui decided. "Well, I guess we start looking for anyone who doesn't belong…"


	6. Addresses

Channel 106- Addresses

The garden they appeared in was in the middle of a city behind a hospital. It was no small garden; it was quite large and involved with little puddles surrounded by stones and filled with fish. There were bridges over the puddles and trees and flowers and all that jazz.

"This must be a long term hospital to have a garden like this," Inui decided.

They hadn't really done anything yet. The quartet had just become so distracted by the garden that they decided to sit down and enjoy it.

"What do you mean by long term?" Taka asked.

"The patients inside must have long term illnesses," Inui replied.

"What makes you say something like that?" Eiji said.

"I just get that vibe," Inui replied.

"Do you think that the person or people we're looking for might be inside the hospital?" Momo suggested.

"Probably," Inui replied. Then he gave a heavy sigh. "Unfortunately, we all are dressed far too abnormally to pass off as normal. It won't be easy to get inside and look around."

"Plus, we'll probably be ignored," Momo said. "After all, it's a hospital."

"They'd probably pay attention to us if one of us were seriously wounded…" Inui started.

"Yeah, how about you volunteer for that job, Inui?" said Momo.

"No, it's pointless to do something like that," Inui sighed. "Because then we'll just seriously wound someone and if none of the people from our original Universe end up in there then it'll just end up hurting us more in the end."

"Why do you even think up these things?" Eiji asked. "You never struck me as the violent type."

"This is an extreme situation," Inui said, standing up. "So we all need to act extremely."

"Act extremely what?" Taka asked.

"Just extremely. In general," Inui answered.

"You know, people might pay attention to us _because _we're dressed like freaks," Momo said randomly. "Or! I could pretend to have appendicitis."

"Before we go crazy, let's just take a look around, shall we?" Inui suggested as if he hadn't been the one saying the most outrageous things about five seconds ago.

As they walked around the building to get to the front, they started to speculate possible themes for the Universes.

"City Universe?" Eiji tried.

"Nothing In Particular Universe?" said Momo.

"Unlikely," Inui said as they entered the building and immediately went to the board in the lobby that stated the rooms and numbers of all the doctor's offices. Originally, their intention was to find the secretary's desk, but something happened to catch their eye.

"Doctor Universe?" Taka took a wild guess as he pointed at a relatively familiar name; Saeki Kojirou.

"He's on Rokkaku, isn't he?" Eiji asked.

"Yes," Inui said. "And I'm willing to bet he has not come to work for the past two days."

"What makes you think something like that?" pondered Momo.

"Well, if you randomly appeared in a new world, would your first instinct be to figure out where you work and then go to work?" Inui raised an eyebrow.

"Probably not," Momo admitted.

"Hey, and here's another one," Taka reported. "Itsuki Marehiko. Also on Rokkaku."

"They generally play doubles together," Inui said since he _knows _that kind of stuff and keeps more stuff stored in his mind than you might initially speculate. Assuming you speculate that kind of stuff on a daily basis. Or at all.

"So let's go ask the secretary where they live!" said Momo, feeling smart.

"Oh yes, and I'm sure the secretary will be quite willing to just hand out that information to anyone, especially people dressed like us," Inui said.

"Well excuse me for living," said Momo.

"This Universe is relatively normal and modern, so let's just try looking them up in the phone book," Taka said.

"Now _that's _an idea," said Inui, throwing a superfluous glare at Momo who tried not to take it personally.

So, even though payphones are rather scarce nowadays, they went outside and found one within a few minutes. After some adventures looking up the names in the phonebook, they finally found them.

"Wait, I want to do it," said Momo as he grabbed the page and ripped it out. "I always wanted to do that."

"Okay…" said everyone. Ever.

So now they had two pages from the phone book even though they could have easily written down the addresses or memorized them.

"To save time," Inui started. "Eiji and I will go to Itsuki's house. Momo and Taka, you two will go to Saeki's house."

"Wait…that's totally random… why those groups?" Eiji asked.

"Because the last time I put you in a group with Momo, you two were kidnapped and used as leverage against Dr. Brain," Inui answered as if that was completely normal. "And frankly, I'm getting tired of Momo right now. He seems to thrive on my irritation."

"Hey!" said Momo.

"Therefore, this is the only option left," Inui handed Taka the paper with Saeki's address on it.

"Okay," said Taka since he didn't really care. As far as he was concerned, they should just press forward without killing or annoying as many people as possible.

"Meet back here when you find him," Inui said. "Then we'll get the mission and hope it isn't anything too complicated."

"Yeah, with our luck, it'll probably be heart surgery," said Eiji, slapping his knee.

"Don't say that," Inui ordered.

"Sorry…" Eiji lowered his head.

The two groups split up like Inui told them because they figured he knew what he was doing and they didn't want to be abandoned.

Eiji tried to be as quiet as possible while he was walking next to Inui because he sensed a basic annoyance and hostility towards everything.

"What's bothering you, Inui?" Eiji said finally since he couldn't hold it inside himself any longer.

"Do you want me to make a list?" Inui said.

"Okay…dumb question…" Eiji admitted. "What I mean is this; we're stuck doing this so no amount of moping or complaining is going to change that. I think we should remain positive so the experience isn't horrible for all of us!"

"Thank you for that, Eiji, but I am quite fine without a motivational speech," Inui reported.

Eiji looked discouraged as Inui went off and asked a random person for directions. The person looked a little taken aback by the basic appearance of Inui and Eiji, but told him the directions anyway.

So they continued on their way.

"Realistically," Eiji said. "How long do you think this is going to take us?"

"There are a total of nineteen more people than last time," Inui said. "If we divide fifty days by thirty-one people then we get one point six days. And if we multiply that by nineteen, assuming ever person follows the average, then it will take thirty more days." Inui adjusted his glasses _over _his eye patch. "Thirty and a half days, to be precise."

"In addition to the fifty days?" Eiji whined slightly.

"Yes," said Inui.

"Eighty days…" Eiji said, looking bewildered. "That's…almost three months."

"However," Inui continued. "I believe we will be quicker this time. We know who most of the people are whom we are searching for."

"How can that help us?" Eiji questioned.

"It saves precious time," Inui answered. "For example; when we went to the Cowboy Universe, we didn't know who was in the Universe or where to find him. We had to spend a day and a half in the town figuring it out. When we return there, we will know right away that we are seeking Kirihara and where his base camp is."

"I see," Eiji said. "That's great news then!"

"Yes, quite," Inui said.

Since they clearly are Olympic walkers, they looked up to see that the street they were standing in front of was the street they sought.

"Itsuki lives on this street," Inui reported.

"Then let's go get him!" Eiji punched the air.

Meanwhile, Taka and Momo were receiving more than just a few stares for their appearance. So they dodged into a department store to get themselves a change of clothes.

However, this caused them to come to the quick realization that they had no money. And, since we do not endorse stealing, we'll just say that they found a fifty dollar bill just lying in the middle of the road! Huzzah!

Taka ditched his armor while Momo relinquished most of his pirate garb. And, even though it pained Taka so, he told his horse to stay and then ran off before he could follow.

"It's not fair…" Taka looked back longingly. "I only just met up with him again and I'm already leaving him behind!"

"Taka…he's a horse," said Momo. "He doesn't have feelings."

Of course, he didn't _actually _say that out loud. Even though Taka didn't have his sword anymore, Momo was pretty sure he would have been decapitated for such a heinous statement.

"Yeah, oh well!" Momo tried instead.

Taka was still sad but he tried to get over it.

After asking for some directions, (they didn't at first because they're male and therefore had to try to locate the street without help, but once they realized they were hopelessly lost, they gave into the X chromosome and found out exactly where they wanted to go) they quickly found themselves on the street they so desired.

"Wow…these houses are mansions!" Momo exclaimed as they started strolling down the street.

"Doctors make good money, I guess…" Taka said.

"I think this one is bigger than our school," Momo decided as they stood in front of a giant house. "It probably has its own zip code."

"Number fifteen?" Taka noticed, and then checked the phone book page. "This is it."

"Saeki lives here?" Momo crossed his arms. "It's going to be tough convincing him to complete the mission…"

They went up to the massive gate that led to the driveway. The gate was locked so they rang the buzzer. There was no answer so, being the rugged training in the mountain duo they are, Taka and Momo scaled the fence.

"That wasn't so hard," said Momo as he sat atop the fence and overlooked the property.

"Wow," said Taka, looking impressed. Then he looked at his situation and then to Momo. "Hey, I don't know if it's a good idea for us to just chill up here. If anyone sees us…"

"Good point," Momo said.

The two of them jumped off the fence and landed with more or less grace. Taka was more, and Momo was less.

"Ow…" Momo whined as he caressed his knee which was now a bloody scraped mess.

Taka looked concerned. "Saeki probably has a band-aid you can use," he said finally. "After all, he's a doctor. A pretty successful one at that, I'd wager."

"I guess…" Momo pouted, blowing gently on his wound.

The two jogged up to the front door and rang the bell.

There was no answer.

"Do you think anyone's home?" Taka asked as Momo wiped away some of his knee scraping.

"Where else would he be?" Momo said.

"Well, once Shishido and Ootori discovered they were both in the same Universe, they moved into one apartment," Taka said. "Maybe Saeki and Itsuki did the same."

Momo looked skeptical. "But they're Shishido and Ootori," he said. "Enough said, right?"

"I guess," Taka chuckled warmly. Then he happened to notice something moving out of the corner of his eye. He looked up to see a video camera above the door and that it was slowly moving back and forth between the two. "Hey Momo," he tapped Momo on the shoulder and pointed at the camera.

"Smile!" Momo cheered.

The camera stopped moving.

"Someone was definitely watching us," Taka decided.

Then they heard the front door unlock. Slowly, it opened, but just a teeny bit.

"Saeki?" Momo said as he invasively put his hand on the door to push it open.

"…Yes…?" the person inside replied.

"Good news!" said Momo. "You're not crazy!"

Saeki opened the door even more slowly than he had been previously until it was finally open all the way.

"…That's a relief…"


	7. Save A Life

Channel 107- Save A Life

"This has happened before?" Saeki asked as he sat calmly in his massively large living room. Or one of his living rooms anyway. Momo and Taka were also there and they were lounging comfortably on the overly expensive furniture.

"Yeah, once," Momo answered. "It was a bummer. It took us a while to get everyone, but when we got back, no time had passed."

"That's good…" Saeki said, leaning back in his seat and giving a heavy sigh.

"Hey, it's stressful, we've all been there once," Taka said reassuringly. "But the important thing to do right now is meet up with Inui so we can get the mission."

"Mission?" Saeki repeated.

"Yeah," said Momo. "Every Universe we go to, we collect all the people who should be in it and we all get together and we get a mission. Usually the missions are annoying and involve loop holes and killing people, but after the mission is complete, we go to the next Universe and do it all over again until the counter reaches zero."

Saeki looked slightly overwhelmed.

"But don't worry about killing," Taka said. "Well, don't take it lightly, of course. But if you die in a Universe, it's all right because you come back to life in the next one as if it never happened."

"And the mission generally has something to do with the every day life or abilities of the people we find there," Momo continued. "Like…you're a doctor, so the mission will be something doctor-related."

"I'm a doctor?" Saeki repeated.

"Yeah!" said Taka. "We saw your name at the hospital."

"Hospital?" Saeki said.

Momo frowned and then took Taka aside.

"You know, Saeki seems really brain dead, doesn't he?" Momo whispered. "Maybe he's a _patient_ at the hospital."

"I don't think so," Taka said. "How would he be able to afford a house like this if he was a patient?"

"Is there anyone else here?" Saeki asked them.

They spun around. "Huh?" they both said.

"In this Universe," Saeki clarified.

"Oh yeah," said Taka. "Inui and Eiji are here. And Itsuki."

"Itsuki?" Saeki stood up. "So this remote control thing basically only affects people who play tennis?"

"People who play boy's tennis and who are on the regulars, I think…" Momo shrugged. "It doesn't make a lot of sense, but yeah."

"All right, I'm going to have to buy into this," Saeki said. "I thought maybe I was on candid camera or something, but the joke's been going on for too long if that's true. I'll come along and we'll get this mission."

"Let's get moving!" Momo cheered.

And his little jump in the air reminded him of his skinned knee so he made sure to complain about it.

"Oh," Saeki noted. He got a thoughtful look on his face. "Well, if I'm a doctor, then I bet I can do something about that."

He opened the closet and, sure enough, there was various doctoring equipment inside. He reached for the small first aid kid and put it on one of the tables, opening it up to reveal everything various little accoutrements that a first aid kit would demand to be an effective first aid kid.

Of course, Saeki went all out. He used disinfectant, and swabbed it, and put on a band-aid and even a little extra bandage to make sure the band-aid wouldn't fall off.

"Not bad," Momo commented.

"Is Itsuki a doctor like me?" Saeki asked.

"We think so," Taka said.

They went outside and were just about to start walking when Momo looked over at the garage.

"Hey," he said. "This garage holds at least four cars. You probably have lots of expensive and badass cars. Let's drive one."

"I'd rather not," Saeki said.

"Why?" said Momo.

"Because I don't know how to drive," said Saeki. "I'm only in ninth grade."

"You've got to be aged," Taka said. "We've sort of established that a lot of us have aged for our particular, we just don't have any proof."

"Unless you're some kind of genius, you have to be at least pushing forty in order to be living this good," Momo pointed out.

Saeki looked down at himself. "But I still look the same," he established.

"Probably not to other people," Momo said. "So what do you say? Shall we drive?"

Saeki still looked uneasy. "I'd really rather just walk…"

"Come on, it's not that far," Taka said to Momo.

"Aww…" Momo said sadly.

It was getting dark by this time, but they were confident enough in their ability to walk a few blocks. When they got to the hospital, they discovered that Inui, Eiji and Itsuki were already there.

"Took you long enough," Eiji said to Momo and Taka as Saeki and Itsuki had a reunion in the background while proceeding to talk about how they thought they were crazy and yadda yadda yadda. You know, all that typical stuff.

"Saeki was pretty much unresponsive to everything we were saying," said Taka. "We had to explain the situation probably three times before he finally got up off the couch."

"Plus, we had to practically break into his house too," Momo said.

Of course, both of these statements were exaggerations, but it's not like anyone was going to refute them.

The remote beeped.

Everyone stopped everything they were doing. Even Saeki and Itsuki knew that the beep meant it was time to pay attention. Whatever the remote was going to do was surely going to be important.

"What's the mission?" Itsuki asked.

"Save a life," Inui read.

They all got momentarily inspired and filled with happiness and sunshine in response to that mission.

"That's so fluffy…" Eiji said. "I'm glad that's our mission instead of… I don't know… do an assisted suicide or something."

"Technically, if the person is really internally tortured, an assisted suicide would be saving them," Saeki commented.

"No!" said Eiji, crossing his arms.

"But I like the idea of saving someone's life for once instead of killing them," Taka said.

Just when someone was about to pose the question on how they were going to go about this, they heard the sound of an ambulance ringing through the air. The ambulance rounded the corner and sped into the emergency wing of the hospital at about a trillion miles per hour.

It didn't take long for everyone else to turn around and decide that their best bet would be to go inside the hospital.

"I'm glad the remote wasn't specific on how and which life we had to save!" Saeki said.

They speed walked through the lobby. Itsuki and Saeki seemed to be on autopilot as they admitted that they weren't sure where they were going, but their subconscious was ordering them in a certain direction. The four who were not native to that Universe decided to blindly follow them as they were blindly following themselves.

Finally, they came to a stop in front of a secretary's desk.

"Dr. Saeki!" said the secretary. "Feeling better?"

"Very much so," Saeki answered. "I'm ready to save some lives."

"Well, isn't that uplifting?" said the secretary, and then she spotted Itsuki and welcomed him back as well. Then she spotted Inui in his massive pirate hat and raised her eyebrow.

"You could have at least taken off the hat," Momo said to Inui as they followed Rokkaku down the halls.

"I like my hat," Inui said.

"Are we the only ones who can do this mission?" Itsuki asked.

"I don't know," said Saeki as he looked to the others. "Are we?"

"No, but you'd probably be best at it," Eiji replied.

"Here's my office," Saeki opened a door and picked a white coat off the hook. Itsuki did the same thing with the office across the hall.

"Do you guys want to wait here?" Itsuki asked.

"I suppose," said Inui. "We would draw less attention to ourselves if we were here."

So they all crammed into Saeki's office. There was a brief battle for the chair, but other than that, they were peachy keen, aside from being bored and idle.

Their boredom was starting to take them over so they started to look through all of Saeki's things.

This went on for quite a while until suddenly, Inui's remote beeped.

"Oh, mission complete," said Inui, checking the clock. "It only took them fifty minutes. Not bad."

"So now we just have to wait for them to come back," Taka reasoned.

They waited another ten minutes.

"Where are they?" said Eiji.

Ten more minutes passed.

"There must be a logical explanation for this," said Inui.

"Let's go find them!" said Momo, standing up and looking determined.

"No," said Inui. "Because if they come back here, we won't be here anymore. Do you see?"

"I guess…" Momo said. "But I'm tired of waiting!"

Just then, the door opened and Itsuki was standing there.

"How many lives are we supposed to save before we get to switch Universes?" Itsuki asked.

"What do you mean?" said Inui.

"We saved three already so how come we're not switching?" said Itsuki.

"We have to be all back together before we switch," Inui frowned. "So go and get Saeki and bring him back here."

"Oh," said Itsuki.

With that, Itsuki departed.

"The new guys," Taka said with a shrug.

"I guess we just assumed they knew how things worked because _we _do," Eiji said.

"I hope we go to the Detective Universe next…" said Momo.

Itsuki and Saeki returned very quickly after that. After a few seconds of waiting around since the remote is quite inconsistent with when the white light engulfs them, they were finally engulfed by said light as Inui changed the channel.

When they reappeared, Itsuki and Saeki were both wearing their doctor's jackets, complete with stethoscopes and a little first aid kid duffle bag to make it more convenient for traveling. They commented on the niftiness of this as the others rolled their eyes.

And, in the process of rolling their eyes, they got a good look around. The Universe was familiar. It was the Detective Universe.

"Yes!" cheered Momo. "We finally get to see dead Oshitari. Sweet."

Everyone felt like slapping him, but they figured they'd find Atobe first and give him the honor.


	8. Sun

Channel 108- Sun

"I haven't lived a good life. I've been bad; worse than anyone can know. But I suppose that can be a good thing, because if everything was perfect then we would never get anywhere, and I'd be out of work. When a man's partner is killed, you should do something about it. It doesn't matter how you felt about him, you should still do something about it. And, in the detective business, when someone gets away with murder, it's bad for everyone; bad all around."

Atobe sat there with his feet propped up on the desk in all of his black and white glory; cigarette in one hand and coffee in the other. Pirates, Knights and Doctors stood on the other side of his desk, trying to convince him to get up and do something about it like he was saying.

"But…" Eiji started, looking pensive. "Didn't you kill Big Mac already?"

"Big Mac had a partner," Atobe said, sitting up. "And I don't care what the mission ends up saying. I'm going after him."

Inui gave a heavy sigh and looked at his remote. "We might not be getting this mission," he said.

"What?" said everyone else.

"The counter is only at forty-three," Inui replied. "If Oshitari were here, it would be a forty-two."

"Stupid Oshitari!" said Momo. "Why'd he have to go and die?"

"I thought you said it didn't matter when people died," Saeki said.

"What's with these two?" Atobe demanded out of nowhere, pointing at Saeki and Itsuki.

"It seems as though more people have been scattered this time than before," Inui found himself a seat. "But it doesn't matter now since we're stuck here forever."

"Oshitari would theoretically come back to life when we went to the next Universe, but right now he is _actually _dead," Taka explained to Saeki and Itsuki.

"Oh," they both nodded.

"What do we do?" Eiji said desperately.

Inui looked at the remote. "I don't know," he answered flatly.

"For real?" Eiji's face was falling. His wasn't the only one.

"Just another reason to avenge him," Atobe stated.

"No, this is a reason to hate him!" said Momo, slamming his hand down on the table. "He just couldn't resist being so dramatic and now we're stuck here! It's his fault!"

"It's not his fault," Atobe stood up and slammed his hand on the table too, getting all in Momo's face. And, when it comes to a stare down between Momo and Atobe, it was pretty easy to predict who would rise triumphant. Needless to say, Momo stumbled back. "He was murdered and you have the nerve to curse him? That just makes me sick."

"…Sorry…" Momo said, looking legitimately ashamed of himself.

"Was he buried somewhere?" Saeki asked.

"Of course he was," said Atobe.

"Well, maybe if we go to where he is, the counter might go down," Saeki tried.

"That's the best idea I've heard in a while," Inui said, standing up immediately. "You've caught on quickly to our situation. I can tell your presence here will be a positive one, Saeki. For the sake of my sanity, until Renji gets here at least."

"Oh, thanks," said Saeki with a shrug.

The others looked offended, but since there was a task at hand, they decided to let it slide for now.

"I'll show you were he is," Atobe said as he opened his closet and gestured towards the trench coats and hats inside. Everyone took in attempt to hide their color, but it was hardly necessary because it was nighttime and no one would be outside anyway.

"When did it start to rain?" Itsuki asked as they exited the detective office.

"When we decided to go to a graveyard," Momo replied, rolling his eyes.

"Huh?" Itsuki responded intelligently.

"Don't worry about it, Itsuki," Saeki assured him. "This is film noir. It doesn't really have to make too much sense. I think the idea is just to make things seem more dramatic."

Itsuki still didn't look like he understood, but it was time to concern themselves with other issues.

Atobe led them to a big graveyard that had a large metal gate. He gave it a push and it started to swing open. Momo made a move to step into the graveyard, but Atobe held out his arm.

"Wait for it…" he said.

"What?" Momo questioned.

The gate let out a squeak as it hit the other side of the wall.

"All right, now," Atobe said as he started walking.

"I don't get it," Eiji decided.

"What Saeki said," said Inui. "This is film noir. It doesn't have to make too much sense."

The rain started to pick up as the clouds rumbled in. Atobe led them down the winding curves until he finally came to a stop in front of a grave with dirt that was freshly dug up.

"There's never a good time to lose a partner," Atobe said, tipping his hat and putting his cigarette back in his mouth.

Taka noticed the cigarette. "How are you—" he began but then he stopped. "Never mind. I won't even ask."

Inui pulled out the remote and held it in front of the grave. Everyone held their breath, staring at the 43 that was on the screen. Now was the moment of truth.

A couple of seconds went by, and no one said anything.

Suddenly, the screen changed. The '3' morphed into a '2'. The number said forty-two, and everyone let out a collective sigh of relief. Atobe looked up at the sky when he noticed the rain was stopping. The clouds were dissipating, and the sun was shining.

"Of all the time I've spent in this Universe…" Atobe started. "The sun has never been out."

"Well, that just goes to show what a glorious occasion this is," Inui said.

They all tipped their hats to Oshitari's grave and waited for the mission.

"I hope it has something to do with killing Big Mac's partner," Atobe said. "Because I'm going to be doing that anyway. He killed my partner, I kill his."

"Yeah, but you also killed Big Mac," Taka pointed out. "Isn't _that _revenge?"

"No," said Atobe, but he wasn't going to explain any further because perhaps he had never even thought of it.

"This is familiar," Inui said. "Our mission is to solve the case."

"Solve what case?" Atobe asked.

"It just says to solve the case," Inui replied. "Are you in the middle of any ongoing investigations right now? Last time, you were in the middle of two."

"Unfortunately, no," Atobe said. "I don't have any cases right now."

"What do we do?" Saeki asked.

"We could look through some of my cold cases," Atobe said. "Maybe we can resurrect one. But I'll have you know, we're not leaving until I kill Whopper."

"Whopper?" everyone repeated.

"Don't tell me that's Big Mac's partner's name," Eiji slapped his forehead.

"It is," said Atobe.

"Oh geez," said everyone.

"It seems kind of unnecessary to avenge him if he's just going to come back to life in the next Universe, right?" Itsuki questioned.

"I'm sick of everybody discouraging me from avenging Oshitari's death!" said Atobe as he grabbed Itsuki and slapped him.

Everyone was used to it except for Itsuki who looked betrayed and Saeki who looked taken aback.

"Let's get back to my office," Atobe said, adjusting his coat.

Now everyone was mostly cautious about defying Atobe so they figured they'd just do what he said.

They made the trek to the office and it started raining again on the way back. Atobe opened a drawer and pointed at it.

"These are the cold cases," he said. "You can go through them and find one that would be easy to solve."

"And what are _you _going to be doing?" Momo asked as he watched Atobe sit down at his desk and start to shuffle through some papers.

"What do you think?" Atobe said with a glare.

"Oh right, Whopper," Momo nodded with a slight roll of his eyes as he turned his back to Atobe.

Atobe was trying to find some kind of indication of Whopper's existence; where he could find him, how he could get to him, you know, all that stuff. He needed information and he needed it fast.

Suddenly, he looked up. His look was so dramatic that everyone who had their attention elsewhere looked at him.

"Smell that?" Atobe asked.

They all sniffed the air. "No…"

"You know it's trouble when you can smell her coming down the hallway," Atobe said, leaning back in his chair. "Blonde, probably."

The others looked slightly confused, but then they saw the silhouette of a person standing on the other side of the door. The door opened with a creak and there she was; a dame. And she was blonde, at that.

"Help me," she said simply.

"Help you?" Atobe repeated. "You don't need much of anybody's help. You're good. Chiefly your eyes, and that throb you've got in your throat when you say something like, 'Be generous.'"

"Something out of my control is happening."

"Out of your control? I find that hard to believe. You look like a lady who controls everything, even the intangible like a man's sense and his heart."

"I deserve that. But the lie was in the way I said it, not in what I said. It's my own fault if you can't believe me now."

"Ah, so now you're dangerous, is that it?"

"Not as dangerous as you, Detective."

"I live a dangerous life. I've got to keep crumpled up newspapers on the floor so nobody can sneak up on me. That's right, you've picked a nice sort of playmate."

"I only play with those who can help me, assuming he is loyal."

"You've got me interested. Talk."

The dame was just about to continue when she looked over and saw six people who obviously didn't belong.

"My company," Atobe explained briefly. "Don't mind them. You've got a case, and judging by the intensity of our beating hearts, it's an urgent one."

"You could say that, Detective. Though, I wouldn't dream of wasting your time if it wasn't worth your while."

"Do you think I have time to spare? There's twenty-four hours in the day, and I spend every minute trying to make each last longer. So go ahead, tell me about your case. Waste my time."

"If time is something you don't have, I wouldn't steal it from you."

"That's where you misunderstand me. I've got all the time in the world, and you could never steal it. I think you're giving yourself too much credit, Mrs…?"

"Miss," said the dame. "Miss Brigit Shaughnessy."

"Ah, the daughter of old man Shaughnessy, I presume?"

"You falsely presume too much, I am his niece."

"But the fact of the matter is still the same; you want me to find out who killed him. And, once I find out who killed him, you want me to do something about it. Is that it?"

"Perhaps presumption is not such a bad quality after all."

Meanwhile, everyone else was waiting quite impatiently.

"As usual, we'll be waiting here all day for them to get anywhere," Momo sighed, sitting down.


	9. Obsession

Channel 109- Obsession

"So tell me about this Sam of yours," was the last thing the others heard when they decided they were going go outside to do something else while they waited for Atobe and Brigit to take _forever_ to have a conversation about nothing in particular.

"Maybe that's the case the remote wanted us to solve," Momo suggested.

"The remote doesn't _want _anything," said Inui. "It is a machine. It is not alive and it does not have feelings."

"Are you going to be so nitpicky about everything I say ever?" Momo said. "I think _you're _the one who's annoying _me_!"

"Whatever," said Inui since he didn't care.

Just then, the door opened and Atobe stepped out. "Where did you guys go?" he demanded.

"Right here," said Saeki.

"Obviously," said Atobe. "I meant _why _did you suddenly just walk out?"

"We were bored with your conversation and wanted to respect your privacy since you seemed pretty interested in pursuing Brigit as a lover," Taka said.

"What gave you an idea like that?" Atobe said.

"Probably your intense and consistent flirting," Inui replied.

"Well, that's how I act with all of the dames who have a case for me," Atobe said, looking slightly offended.

"We speculated that perhaps that was the case we must complete in order to switch Universes," Inui reported.

"I figured too," said Atobe. "That's why I got as much information out of the dame as I could."

"Okay, so now we solve the case, right?" Itsuki asked.

"No, first we find Big Mac's partner, Whopper, and kill him," Atobe replied. "_Then _we solve the case. I refuse to leave this Universe without avenging Oshitari's death."

"Yes, you have stated that on numerous occasions," Inui said. "So how about you tell us where we have to go in order to solve the case while you kill Whopper, and then we'll meet up and switch Universes. Sound good?"

"No," said Atobe.

"What's the problem?" Eiji said, sounding exasperated.

"I can't kill Whopper alone," Atobe admitted. "As much as I would like to take him out all by myself, it's not something I can do. I need a partner. Or…several partners. Either way, if you guys help me, I'll be able to do it faster and then we'll be able to get out of here."

"I never thought I'd see the day where Atobe asked for help," said Momo.

"Shut up!" said Atobe. "Are you all going to help me? I feel like you have an obligation to make sure Oshitari is avenged too."

"Frankly, Atobe, none of us really care one way or the other," Momo admitted. "After all, Oshitari is a formidable opponent in tennis, that much is for sure. And were this real life then maybe we'd take the time out of our day to avenge him, but as we are traveling to the next Universe in which he will be alive, I think it's a waste of time!"

"That was well thought out Momo but—" Inui began but he happened to notice that Atobe was approaching Momo with his arms outstretched ready to snap his neck, so he promptly got in between the two of them.

"Atobe, we also all made a pact that we were going to avoid killing people for no reason," Eiji explained.

"I would think such a pact would be unnecessary," said Saeki.

"You would _think_," Eiji crossed his arms.

"I wasn't apart of this pact and I refuse to abide by it," said Atobe.

"See?" Eiji said to Saeki.

"I guess," said Saeki.

"All right, Atobe, there's no convincing you, so what do we have to do to get this Whopper character?" Inui decided finally.

"Inui!" said Momo. "_We _don't want to do that!"

"Well too bad," said Inui.

"Thank you for finally seeing it my way," said Atobe. "We have to go to the docks."

"There are no docks," Taka said. "Remember how they blew up?"

"Yeah, they rebuilt them," Atobe answered as if that was plausible.

"Already?"

"Yeah," Atobe said, still acting as though it was totally plausible.

"Okay…fine…" Taka said slowly.

"And it's nighttime so we should be able to get there while he's in the middle of doing an evil deed," Atobe said.

Though no one was really enthusiastic about putting themselves through this sort of ordeal _again_, they followed Atobe as he walked towards the docks.

"While we're walking," Inui said. "Why don't you brief us on whatever you learned about concerning the case we're going to have to solve when we're finished avenging Oshitari's death?"

"Not much to say, really," Atobe admitted. "The dame's uncle was into underground black market trading, then someone offed him. She wants me to find out who did it and bring him to justice."

"Justice?" Itsuki questioned.

"Yeah, my own kind of justice," said Atobe, whipping out his gun.

"Atobe, is it just me or are you experiencing somewhat of a drastic personality change?" Eiji asked.

"What?" said Atobe.

"It's a sequel," Momo said knowingly. "That always happens in the sequel."

"I am not experiencing a drastic personality change," said Atobe.

"That's right," said Taka. "He always used violence to solve his problems while in this Universe. Why is this instance any different?"

"I don't know," Eiji shrugged. "It just _feels _different."

"I have sort of a random question," Saeki said. "Taka, why do you have a horse?"

"Oh," said Taka as he pat his horse's nose. "Well, when we teleport to the different Universes, we keep all of our accessories that are specific to our characters. That's why you and Itsuki have your doctors coats and first aid kits."

"So it's not just the clothing," Saeki observed.

"Yeah, I have a butter knife!" Eiji declared as he pulled his knife out of his pocket and started waving it around. "On guard!"

"And Inui has a shotgun," Momo added. "And it's only got one shot. But since everything resets when we switch Universes, he'll get the shot back in the next one even if he used it in the previous one!"

"Why does that happen?" Itsuki asked.

"I don't know," said Inui. "But I'm glad it does. Otherwise, several people would be permanently dead. Namely, Oshitari."

"Actually, I think most of us died at least once over the course of our adventure last time…" Momo said. "I know I did."

"I didn't!" Eiji declared proudly.

Atobe gave a heavy sigh and lit himself another cigarette. "Do you guys have to be so loud?" he said.

"Some of us even get special attributes," Eiji continued, except he was whispering. "Yuuta from St. Rudolph is an elf in his alternate Universe so he can only speak Elfish. It's pretty funny."

"Anyone else from Rokkaku?" Itsuki asked.

"Well," said Taka. "The Kisarazu twins were involved, and one of them is from Rokkaku. And then there was… Kentarou. He was…"

No one really wanted to say anything else about him.

"Yeah… he was involved too," Taka finally finished.

"What other special things and Universes are there?" Saeki said. "I have to admit, I'm getting really curious about it all. It's really interesting with, of course, a horrible downside that we have to go through it."

"Well, take Atobe for example!" said Eiji cheerfully. "He and Oshitari are always in black and white no matter which Universe we go to! When they shoot their guns, they hit the target no matter what!"

"Actually, their guns automatically go to whoever is the 'most likely' person to commit an evil deed," Taka pointed out.

"Which was Kirihara most of them," Momo said, laughing slightly.

"And they also can't die!" said Eiji.

Saeki was about to voice his concern over Eiji's most recent statement.

"Sometimes they can though," Inui interrupted him before he could even begin. Don't ask how you can interrupt someone when they're not talking. Inui found a way. "If it's dramatic enough."

"Was it dramatic enough when Oshitari died?" Itsuki asked.

"Oh yeah," said Atobe with a nod.

"How did Oshitari's past lover named Trixie take it?" Momo asked. "I seem to remember something about that…"

"She skipped town," Atobe answered. "No one really knows where she went. Not even the most informed scumbags on the street. It's strange. After all, Oshitari did die for her."

"No, he died so we could complete the mission," Inui pointed out.

"Whatever," said Atobe. "As far as _she _knows, that's how he died."

"Hey Atobe, what situation were you in when you reappeared here?" Momo asked. "Cause me and Inui were in the middle of looking upon a chest of hidden treasure and that was fun."

"I was holding Oshitari's dead body in my lap," Atobe said.

"That might be why you're so traumatized about it to the brink of needing to avenge him even though he's going to come back to life when we switch Universes," Inui remarked.

"Perhaps," Atobe said.

"You know, if we just completed the mission and switched Universes, he would come back to life faster and your conscience wouldn't be so tortured," Momo said.

"This isn't about bringing him back to life," said Atobe. "It's about avenging his death. I know revenge won't bring him back and that's not what I'm trying to do."

"This is bordering on obsession, Atobe," said Momo.

Atobe glared the mother of all glares at Momo. "I am _this close _to snapping your neck in half," he said.

"Now, now, remember the pact," said Inui.

"I never agreed to that pact," Atobe said.

"Well, regardless," Inui looked ahead. "I think we are almost at the newly rebuilt docks."

Despite the fact they had been newly rebuilt, the docks still looked as crummy and run down as ever. In fact, they looked pretty much exactly the same as they did before.

"Wow," said everyone who had seen the docks before and were perplexed as to why they looked exactly the same.

"Huh?" said Saeki and Itsuki.

"What," said Atobe since it was normal to him.

"Never mind," said the original group.

"All right, what's the game plan?" asked Taka. "Last time we split up and I think that worked out pretty well for us, didn't it?"

"Actually, if I remember correctly…" Inui started. "We split up and then the docks blew up and then, after we got back together, that's when we discovered Big Mac."

"Wait a second," said Saeki. "Big Mac? Whopper? Am I the only one who notices that?"

"No," the others answered.

"Did they do that on purpose?" Saeki questioned.

"Focus," Atobe ordered.

"Sorry," Saeki nodded.

"So what did we decide?" said Eiji. "Are we splitting up or are we staying together?"

"Well, let's do it this way," Atobe said. "Half of you can stay out here in case Whopper and his gang leave, and I'll lead a small search party inside to try to cut him off if he's inside."

"Good idea," said Inui. "You should take—"

"Taka and Inui," Atobe decided.

Inui didn't say anything for a moment, and then he looked at Taka who shrugged in response.

"Why?" Inui asked.

"Because you two will be the most useful," Atobe answered. "Taka can fight, and you have the remote, and you generally come up with good ideas."

"Well, we must consider the party staying out here," Inui said. "That would leave Eiji, Momo, Saeki and Itsuki."

"What's wrong with that?" demanded Momo. "I'm a good fighter!"

"Me too!" said Eiji. "I've got this knife!"

"Why don't we _all _just go inside?" Saeki suggested.

"No, that group would be too big," Atobe said. "We'd be noticed too quickly. Besides, Whopper will be after me because I killed Big Mac so you wouldn't be safe with me and end up just being a burden. And as far as I can tell, you have no useful abilities so you would just get in the way and be almost counterproductive."

"Oh," said Saeki. "In that case, can I just go back to your office?"

Atobe thought this over. "Fine."

"Me too?" Eiji asked eagerly.

"Yes," said Atobe, then he pointed at Itsuki. "And you."

The trio shrugged and decided that they didn't mind.

"So does that mean I get to go in and fight?" Momo said excitedly.

"No, you can go back to my office too," Atobe said.

"No way!" said Momo. "I'm fighting!"

"I'm sure Momo will be useful in some aspect of this mission," Taka said, trying to convince the others.

Momo frowned. "Thanks, Taka," he said sarcastically.

"All right, he can come then," Atobe gave an exasperated sigh. Then he looked at the three who were not invited. "Do you guys know the way back to my office?"

"Sure thing!" said Eiji. "Come on, guys!"

With that, Eiji linked arms with the entirety of Rokkaku and started skipping off back to Atobe's office, glad that he didn't have to be involved in pointless killing.

Atobe looked at those who remained.

"Let's get this over with," he said, dropping his cigarette on the ground and stepping on it.


	10. Complications

Channel 110- Complications

"You know…I was wondering why Kentarou had suddenly developed a strange affection towards Shishido from Hyoutei…" Saeki rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he, Itsuki and Eiji walked back to Atobe's detective office. "And I was also curious about why Ryou was trying to form a gang and convince us to randomly break out into song whenever he felt the situation demanded a musical number."

"Yeah, it wasn't just an overnight transformation," Eiji said. "We were scattered around for fifty days! You should have seen Kentarou before we went to the future Universe and he got magically rehabilitated."

"Which Universe is next?" Itsuki questioned.

"Well, probably the Cowboy Universe," Eiji said. "But there's no telling since there are new Universes in there. Originally, we never went to the Doctor Universe that you guys were in so we were kind of confused when we popped up there since we expected to be here."

"Sorry," said Saeki.

"It's not your fault!" said Eiji reassuringly. "Come on, let's get out of this rain."

Atobe's office was just up ahead, but before they could get there, they heard the sound of an engine rumbling behind them. They were standing underneath a streetlight so their faces were illuminated, but al the other lights on the street were either flickering or broken.

"I heard it too…" Eiji said, peering down the street.

"Okay, so I'm not crazy…" Saeki said.

Then they heard the rumbling again. After a few seconds, a pair of headlights turned on, revealing an old fashion type car only a couple of blocks behind them.

"This can't be good," Eiji decided. "Let's go!"

Itsuki and Saeki weren't about to argue and immediately spun around to run towards Atobe's office. The car revved up its engine and punched it, screeching its tires on the road and zooming towards our heroes.

Since no one can outrun a car, it quickly caught up to them. Though, it seemed as though their intentions were not to run them over, thankfully. Instead, hands reached out of the windows and reached out to grab them.

Even though it went against all of Eiji's morals, he whipped out his butter knife and drove it into the arm of one of the men who was reaching for him. Itsuki whipped his duffle bag around to smacked them aside. It deterred them enough to recoil, which gave Eiji some time to dart up to the front door of Atobe's office and struggle with the doorknob.

"He locked it!" Eiji announced. Itsuki and Saeki couldn't think of anything intelligent to say or do in response, so they only gasped.

The car came to a stop on the street. The doors opened and there were some thugs standing there swinging chains.

"Quick!" Eiji said, pointing to an alleyway. They darted down the alleyway with their pursuers close behind them, shooting their guns wildly. Of course, they quickly came across a fence that was blocking the way so they scaled it, jumping nimbly onto a ladder that led to a set of stairs where people in apartments lived. Itsuki pulled the ladder up so they could not be followed.

They climbed up a few flights of stairs and kicked in a window. It was Atobe's office.

"What was that?" Saeki said, completely out of breath.

"I have no idea!" Eiji said. "But we're not going to be safe in here for long. They're going to get the door open eventually!"

"…Where can we go?" Itsuki said.

Meanwhile, the other four were whistling Dixie as they sat at the docks, waiting for any hint of Whopper.

Every time anything would move, Atobe pulled out his gun.

"That was only a fish in the water!" Momo said, blocking his ears in anticipation of the shot.

"I'm slightly jumpy," Atobe admitted.

"Oh, really?" said Momo.

"If you don't want to be here, just leave," Atobe said.

Momo grumbled and crossed his arms, but held his ground.

"Be careful," Inui said. "Remember the rule your gun has. It shoots the person who is most likely to commit an evil deed. In this case, it would be a duo of pirates."

"I know," said Atobe. "But if Whopper were here, it would definitely be him."

Then he heard something move so he pulled his gun out again.

"Don't shoot!" came a female voice from the shadows.

"Show yourself," Atobe ordered.

A dame emerged from the shadows. It wasn't Brigit, however.

"Trixie…" Atobe lowered his gun. "What are you doing here?"

"When I heard about Oshitari, I just had to come…" Trixie said as she pulled out a hanky and dabbed her eyes.

"Oshitari told me to give you a message," Atobe said. "Your husband's soul is finally at rest."

"Oshitari was a fool," wept Trixie as she fished through her purse. "He never should have put himself in such danger for me!"

"Don't say that, Trixie—" Atobe began but he stopped when Trixie suddenly pulled a gun out of her purse and pointed it at Atobe.

"Don't move," she said, her voice not wavering at all. "Drop the gun. Drop it right now or I'll shoot!"

Atobe didn't know what to do right away, so he eventually took a step back, dropped his gun on the ground and put up his hands. No one else knew how to react either so they just continued to sit there and do nothing.

"I don't understand," Atobe said finally.

"It's nothing personal, Detective," she said. "A girl's got to watch her own back every once and a while. I can't have you taking out the one guy who still has enough power in this city to protect me."

Atobe's expression didn't change as he went through his head, trying to think of who she was referring to.

"Whopper," he said finally.

Even though the situation was serious, Momo, Taka and Inui had a hard time taking it seriously because of the extreme clichéness of it _and _the fact that the bad guy's name was Whopper.

"So if you're sided with Whopper…" Atobe said as he and Trixie started to circle each other. "That means you also sided with Big Mac, your husband's murderer. Which means…"

His eyes widened slightly.

"It was you all along," he said. "You arranged it all."

"You've finally figured it out," said Trixie. "I would think a Detective as well known as yourself would have come to that conclusion more quickly."

"All right," said Atobe. "If you arranged to have your husband killed, why did you ask us to look at the case?"

"I was deep in debt to Big Mac," said Trixie. "I needed you to take him out."

"You used us," said Atobe. "And because of that, Oshitari is dead."

"It's an unfortunate turn of events; one that I hadn't intended," Trixie admitted. "But it's the end of the line for you now, Detective."

She cocked the gun and was just about to fire it when Momo reached over and gave her a Judo chop in the back of the neck. As it would happen, when she and Atobe had been circling each other, she finally had her back to Inui, Momo and Taka and had not taken their intervention into account.

Trixie fell limply to the ground as Atobe didn't look fazed at all. He was pretty sure _something _was going to happen that would keep him from being shot.

"That complicates things…" Atobe said.

"I know," said Inui. "If you kill _her _then Oshitari's death will be avenged since it was indirectly her fault. Then we can get to solving that case with that Brigit girl."

"But…" Taka started. "Trixie's story is that of desperation and tragedy! Killing her wouldn't be fair."

"It would make things go by more quickly," Momo nudged Taka.

Atobe was just standing there looking thoughtful. He finally went over and picked up his gun.

"Whopper isn't here anymore," he said finally. "We take the girl back to my office and get some information out of her. I already said that we're going to kill Whopper before we do anything else. It's a promise I made to myself and to Oshitari."

The others gave exasperated sighs. They picked up Trixie and put her on Taka's horse, then started making their way back to Atobe's office.

Of course, Atobe happened to notice something strange on the road on the way.

"These tracks are fresh," he said, bending down and touching some melted rubber on the road. "And…I've seen tracks like this before."

He looked down the road towards his office to see that it was up in flames.

His reaction was a little less than extreme. He only looked back at the others with a quizzical expression on his face.

"Hey, your office is on fire," Momo said finally.

"I noticed," Atobe said.

"I hope it wasn't something Eiji did…" Taka said.

"Eiji is careless at times, but he's not accident prone," Inui said.

They hurried to the apartment, following more tracks that went up on the sidewalk.

"Whoever drove this car was really burning rubber," Momo observed.

"Where's the fire department?" Taka asked.

Atobe glared at him.

"Right, right, sorry I asked," Taka said.

"Where are Eiji, Saeki and Itsuki?" Momo said.

Atobe walked towards his office that was enflamed. He shook his head and then looked down to see something interesting.

"Say," he said. "Isn't this familiar?"

He picked up a knife off the end and showed it to the others. It had blood on the end of it.

"That's Eiji's," Taka said.

"There was a fight here," Atobe said. He closed his eyes and pondered.

"Is Whopper the type to take hostages?" Inui asked.

"Yes," Atobe said. "Blackmail is his preferred currency."

"Is there a chance he has taken Eiji, Saeki and Itsuki to use as blackmail and they're not perishing slowly in a fiery death?" Inui questioned.

"That is a definite possibility," Atobe said. "And then they set my office on fire to make a point. First they kill my partner, then they burn down my office… what's next, I wonder?"

"The important thing to do right now is to find Whopper," said Inui. "Because now he's got Eiji, Saeki and Itsuki, which means we won't be able to leave this Universe even if we did complete the mission."

"Which is okay, since we were going to kill Whopper before we completed the mission anyway," Atobe reminded him.

"Right…of course," said Inui exasperatedly.

"What do we do?" Taka asked. "Do we go back to the docks?"

"We don't have any other options right now," Atobe said.

"What about the girl?" asked Momo, gesturing towards Trixie.

"Oh right," said Atobe. "I totally forgot about her."

"How?" said Momo, raising an eyebrow. "She had a gun in your face ten minutes ago."

"A gun in my face is an everyday occurrence," Atobe reminded him.

"She seems to be intimately involved with Whopper," said Inui. "So—"

Then he stopped.

"What?" Atobe asked.

"I just feel stupid saying 'Whopper'," Inui admitted. "Somehow, it's even stupider than Big Mac."

"_Continuing_," Atobe said, sounding irritated.

"Right," Inui shook his head. "She seems to be intimately involved with Whopper. So she likely knows where his hideout is. The best thing to do right now would be to wait for her to wake up and force information out of her."

"How long will we have to wait for that?" Momo asked.

Thankfully, that was exactly when Trixie began to stir…


	11. Revenge

Channel 111- Revenge

Eiji was having a strange dream that involved being waist deep in water. As it turned out, when he awoke, he discovered he was waist deep in water.

"What's going on?" he said, sitting up only to find that his head hurt.

"Don't move too much," Saeki advised, kneeling down next to him and helping him sit up slowly. "You might pass out again."

"What happened?" Eiji said.

"I'm not sure," Saeki said. "When I woke up, we were here."

Eiji slowly got to his feet and looked around. He, Saeki and Itsuki were in a small room, and the only light was above them shining down through some bars. When he stood, the water only went up to his knees or so, but the bars were far beyond his reach.

"I think we're under the docks," Saeki said quietly.

"Under the docks?" Eiji gasped. "Why are we _there_? I remember those guys busting in the door but…"

Eiji put his hands on his hips.

"They hit us with stuff, didn't they?" he concluded.

"Well obviously," Saeki said.

"How are we going to get out of here?" Itsuki asked.

"I don't know," said Eiji. "The others will probably rescue us soon, though. Don't look so bummed out! It's not that bad. It could be worse."

"I think it _is _worse," Saeki said.

"How so?" said Eiji, putting his hands on his hips.

"I'm no expert on tides or anything…" Saeki said hesitantly. "But…I think the water is rising."

Eiji froze, and then looked up at the bars above him.

"Well…like I said before…" Eiji said, not nearly as confident. "The others will _definitely _rescue us soon."

Then they felt a mighty rumble that knocked them all on their arses.

"See!" said Eiji. "That's them now, I bet! Leaving a trail of destruction in their wake, no less!"

Sure enough, it was them all right. Indirectly, anyway. The rumble had been an explosion they had triggered, but luckily Atobe had heard the ticking at the very last second and managed to warn everyone to jump away from the blast just in time.

"Come on, we're half way there," Atobe said, standing up and shielding himself from some smoke.

"Atobe, don't think we haven't forgotten how you brutally murdered Trixie after getting the information you needed out of her!" said Momo. "You went against our pact!"

"I said I wasn't going to follow that pact from the beginning," Atobe said.

"That's true, he did," Taka said.

"Besides, she deserved it," Atobe said.

"I wouldn't go _that _far," said Inui.

Before Atobe could tell them they were pansies or something equally insulting, there was a gunshot, which caused them all to dive to the ground behind a large crate.

Atobe pulled out his gun and looked over the crate, taking wild and blind shots in all directions. Of course, they heard various cries of, "ARGH!" and "I've been shot!" that confirmed Atobe's perfect aim. Atobe finally stopped his assault as the smoke from the explosion cleared.

"Come on," he ordered.

"Yes sir," said everyone since Atobe was being surprisingly reliable and badass at the moment.

They rounded the corner and were just about to enter another door, when they heard a gun load.

Unfortunately, this gun that was loading was from behind them.

"Don't turn around," ordered a voice. A female voice.

"Brigit Shaughnessy," Atobe shook his head. "I should have known."

"Why are the dames _always _bad guys in the end?" said Momo, sounding annoyed.

"Quiet!" said Brigit. "I came to you only to feed you false information that would lead you to this spot!"

"I hate to break it to you, Miss Shaughnessy, but my reasoning for being here has nothing to do with meeting you," Atobe said. "And how much is _your _debt to Whopper and Big Mac?"

"If I told you…" Brigit said haltingly. "If I told you _half_, Detective, you'd call me a liar!"

"When this is all over with, I hope they don't hang you, precious," Atobe said. "Yes, angel, I am going to avenge my partner's death even if you're standing in my way, and you might have to go down with him. Chances are, you'll get off with life in prison. That means if you're a good girl, you'll be out in twenty years. I'll be waiting for you. And, if they hang you, I'll always remember you."

"Detective…" Brigit wavered.

That was just what Atobe wanted. He spun around and knocked the gun out of her hand, then pointed his own at her.

"People lose their teeth talking like you do," Atobe said.

"You always have a smooth explanation for everything," Brigit said.

"What do you want me to do?" Atobe said. "Learn to stutter?"

"All right, all right," said Momo. "That's enough. I refuse to listen to you guys banter _again_. Let's just go in that door, kill Whopper and then get onto solving your case." Momo paused. "Well, I guess your case is fake so never mind."

"As it turns out, killing Whopper and this dame's case are one in the same," Inui said. "So I guess it's a good thing Atobe decided to do this first."

"I guess," said the others.

So they Judo chopped Brigit and turned back to the door.

"Now, just for the record, _I'm _the one who shoots Whopper," Atobe said.

"We wouldn't have it any other way," Taka said.

"Good," said Atobe.

He faced the door and then gave it a mighty kick. The door rocketed off its hinges and flew across the room. Atobe immediately ran in and the others followed, only to discover a large fat man sitting in his chair, looking as though he expected them.

"Whopper," Atobe's eyes narrowed.

"Hello, Detective," he said. "I'm sure you're interested to hear that—"

Atobe didn't let Whopper finish. After an elapsed time of about one second, Whopper was filled with bullets and a steaming heap on the floor.

"That solves that case," said Atobe, looking satisfied.

"Um…nicely done," said the others, trying not to look.

"Though, I _do _wonder what he thought I would be interested in hearing…" Atobe said. "Oh well."

"I have good news and bad news," Inui said. "The good news; the mission is complete. The bad news; we have to find Eiji, Saeki and Itsuki."

"That's probably what Whopper was going to tell me about…" Atobe suggested. "Something about how…if I kill him then I'll never find out where they are or some other such nonsense."

"What, you know where they are?" Momo asked.

"No, do you?" Atobe said.

"No, why would I?" Momo said.

"Why would _I_?" Atobe said.

"Let's find them," said Taka. "Wherever they are, I'm willing to bet it's some kind of horrible peril."

"Hey, do you think Brigit Shaughnessy would know?" Momo said, snapping his fingers.

"Momo, you have redeemed yourself," said Inui, putting his hand on Momo's shoulder supportively. "Even though I had already thought of the idea."

"All right!" cheered Momo, giving Inui the thumbs up.

They went back outside the room and slapped Brigit around a little bit until she finally came around.

Then they demanded information out of her. After learning that Whopper was dead, she was willing to turn over to the side of good and, seconds after she revealed the location of Eiji, Itsuki and Saeki, she found herself dead as well.

"You know…" said Taka. "She _was_ turning over to the side of good."

"I've said it before," Atobe said, lighting a cigarette. "I never liked the lying type."

No one could do anything about it _now _so they went off to the place that Brigit Shaughnessy had described and, sure enough, she had been telling the truth.

"Hey!" Momo called through the bars that were in the floor.

"What a relief!" Eiji said as he stood almost up to his shoulders in water. "Get us out of here! Quick!" He looked at Saeki and Itsuki. "I told you they would rescue us in time!"

Momo pulled at the bars, which formed a trapdoor. It had a large lock attached to it.

"I'll take care of that," Atobe said, pulling out his gun, but Inui held out his hand.

"If you do it, Momo or I might end up being shot instead," Inui said. "Allow me."

"Fine," said Atobe, looking slightly disappointed.

Inui took out _his _weapon of mass destruction and fired it at the lock. It shattered in a million pieces and then Momo opened up the door. They pulled Saeki, Itsuki and Eiji up one by one until they were all on the surface.

"I don't want to do this anymore…" Saeki moped.

"Here it comes," Inui said, referring to the while light they had all grown to love and depend on.

He changed the channel, and they were immediately dropped off in the middle of a desert, with only a small western down off in the distance to indicate any sign of life.

Then they took a moment to look at Oshitari who was only standing there looking awfully confused.

He put his hands out. "I am _so _disoriented right now," he said.

"Welcome back, Oshitari," said Atobe, holding out his hand for Oshitari to shake.

Oshitari took it confusedly, but then he noticed the fact that the two of them were in black and white, and then he noticed everyone else's outfits. He gave a heavy sigh. "Not this again."

"Unfortunately," Atobe said.

"It's almost morning…" Inui said. "We are going at a good rate. This is only the start of the third day and we have already completed three missions. Let's find Kirihara as quickly as possible and continue our good streak."

"Why is this happening again?" Oshitari asked Atobe.

"Don't ask me," Atobe sighed.


	12. Rock Formation

Channel 112- Rock Formation

"As before, it seems as though there hasn't been a fire here for a while," Oshitari observed, inspecting the fire pit.

"That doesn't make sense," said Inui. "Kirihara should be more accustomed to his Universe now that he understands who he is and what's going on. Therefore, he should have started a fire."

"Well, I'm telling you there's been no fire here in the past few days," Oshitari said.

"All right," said Momo, looking around. "His horse isn't here, so that means he's probably not here either. Meaning, he's not just going to pop out of nowhere with his guns pointed at us like last time."

"Is it Tuesday?" Taka asked. "Maybe he's terrorizing the village."

"It's Sunday," Inui replied.

"Well, from what I can tell, there was a struggle here," Oshitari said.

"What makes you think that?" Saeki asked.

"Because—" Oshitari began but then he looked at Saeki again. "Wait a second."

"Oh right," said Atobe. "Apparently, there are more people involved this time around. You remember Saeki and Itsuki from Rokkaku."

"Um…sure," said Oshitari.

"_Anyway_," Saeki said.

"Right," Oshitari looked back at the camp. "Several things are overturned. Things that should be here aren't, and things that shouldn't be here are."

"Like this torch," said Atobe, picking up a large stick that was clearly used for a torch.

"How long ago since that torch was lit?" Inui asked.

"Two days," Atobe guessed. "Maybe three."

"It's pretty easy to guess what happened," Inui said. "I'm willing to believe that the villagers, noticing that the dreaded Kirihara was in somewhat of a funk, decided to finally revolt against him. I think an angry mob came to the camp, causing Kirihara to flea."

"Assuming Kirihara fled," said Eiji. "What if they smashed his head on a rock?"

"Then we have to find wherever he's buried," Inui said.

"I don't think he's dead," said Oshitari.

"What makes you think that?" Itsuki asked.

"Don't you think the villagers would have taken his valuables?" Oshitari said. "There's still food here, and clothing. It's impossible to follow tracks because of the wind in the desert, but I'm willing to bet we could evaluate where he is."

Everyone began to ponder, just as they heard a faint whinny. They looked around curiously, and suddenly a familiar brown female horse came over the horizon, galloping towards them.

"Hey, isn't that Kirihara's horse?" Taka asked.

"You would know the best," said Inui.

The horse came running over and immediately went to Taka's horse. The two nuzzled for a little while.

"Yeah, that's definitely Kirihara's horse," said Taka as he pulled his own horse away since he could still remember how unfaithful Kirihara's horse was.

"This proves he is still alive out there," said Atobe.

"How does it prove that?" Momo said.

"Because if he was dead, they would have taken his horse too," Atobe said.

"There's a big rock formation in the direction the horse came from!" Eiji said, squinting off in the distance.

"Allow me!" Momo said, pulling out his telescope. "Yup! Definitely a rock formation!"

He put his telescope away, and Eiji was looking at him skeptically. "I already said it was a rock formation."

"I was just confirming it," Momo said defensively.

"This horse is dehydrated," Taka said, sounding concerned.

"How do you know something like that?" said Inui.

"Just look at her," said Taka. "Her legs are trembling. She looks really weak in general."

"Well…that sort of downgrades Kirihara's condition from in hiding to possibly dead…" Inui evaluated.

"Why is this all so casual?" Saeki threw his arms up in the air.

"You'll get numb to it eventually," Momo said. "Pretty soon, you'll start killing people too!"

"I doubt that," said Saeki.

"Why does everything have to end in killing?" Itsuki asked.

"Good question!" Eiji said.

"Let's start heading towards that rock formation," Taka said, since he was starting to get the vibe that maybe Kirihara was not in a good situation.

"Last time, the mission depended entirely on him since he was the only one who would be able to terrorize the village," Inui said. "If that is the case again, we can only hope that he is not dead."

With that, they all started to head towards the rock formation that was a whole lot further away than they had originally imagined. Kirihara's horse seemed pretty intent on getting their quickly because she would often trot up ahead and then return to the group once she realized she was going too fast.

"So everything was finally peachy swell between Horse and Forehand, and that happened to be exactly when Tenba was introduced to the group!" Eiji laughed, slapping his knee.

"Tenba?" Itsuki said.

"Yuuta's gay Pegasus," Eiji answered. "Actually, he might be bisexual."

"That is a really sensitive topic for my horse…" Taka said.

"He probably doesn't even remember it," Inui said. "Since we were all taken back to the moment we had departed from the Universe, it's likely none of the horses have any memory of anything that occurred over our fifty day adventure."

"Well Kirihara's horse seemed to remember mine," Taka pointed out.

"Yes, but Kirihara's horse is also quite permiscuous, as we have heard," said Inui. "So perhaps she was just latching onto the first Y chromosome she could fine."

"Could we stop talking about horses?" said Oshitari with an exasperated sigh. "I feel like that's the _only _thing we ever talk about."

"Well too bad," said Taka. But not really. He _wanted _to say it, though.

Because their earlier conversation had been shot down by Oshitari, everyone felt lost for topics so they remained pretty much entirely silent until they came close to the rock formation. Once they were close enough, Kirihara's horse took off and disappeared behind one of the rocks.

Inui looked at his remote to see that the number had descended to a 41.

"We know he's around here," Inui said.

"My guess is that we should follow her," Taka said since he's in tune with horses the most out of everyone.

They told Taka he was a genius and then hurried to where Forehand had disappeared. Even though no one really liked Kirihara, everyone got a little sad when they saw him in a state in which they sort of had expected. He was lying face down in the sand in a most pathetic position, and certainly not moving. It sort of added to the preciousness of the situation because Forehand was hovering around him and prodding him with her nose.

"Is he dead?" Atobe asked. No one did anything. Then he looked at Saeki and Itsuki. "Why don't you two make yourselves useful?"

"Oh right," said Saeki as he knelt down next to Kirihara and rolled him over. Itsuki started to rummage through his duffle bag and Saeki checked vital signs and used his stethoscope. "He's alive," he reported. "He probably just passed out due to dehydration."

"What an idiot!" said Momo. "That's what happened last time too!"

"You'd think he would learn," Eiji commented.

"We need to get some what," said Saeki.

"Will this be enough?" Itsuki asked, handing Saeki a water bottle.

"Did you have this in there?" Saeki said, pointing at the duffle bag. Itsuki nodded and then checked Saeki's too.

"You have one too, don't you?" Itsuki said as he pulled it out.

"_That's _why it was so heavy…" Saeki concluded. "Well, it's a start."

Itsuki leaned in. "What's this?" he said, pointing at some bandages that were showing under his shirt.

"Oh," said Atobe. "Remember how we told you about how our guns shoot whoever is most likely to commit an evil deed? That's how we found out."

"So he was shot," Saeki said. "Did he wrap this himself? It looks like someone with wrapped it while having a seizure."

"Excuse me, but _I _did it," said Inui.

"Are you prone to seizures?" Itsuki asked, looking totally serious.

Inui only glared at both of them and decided he was too cool for the conversation.

"We'll have to redo those, then," said Saeki. "What's all this bruising? It looks like he was hit by a train."

"That might be from when Taka rammed into him," Eiji suggested.

"It was Inui's plan!" said Taka defensively.

"Frankly, I'm pretty surprised that he's still alive after all this," Saeki said. "But we're going to need more water, not just for him but for us as well. If we're not careful, we'll all end up dehydrated."

"Where are we going to get more water?" said Momo. "We're in the middle of a desert."

"We could send people into the town," said Inui. "But only people who were not significantly apart of our village terrorizing plan or else the villagers might become hostile."

"That's just Saeki and Itsuki," Oshitari pointed out.

"I'm sure the two of you could go in too," said Inui. "Not many people saw you actually do anything."

"Great," said Oshitari. "I just came back to life and I'm already being exploited."

Inui ignored Oshitari. "So how about Oshitari, Atobe and Itsuki go into town? Saeki can stay here and fix Kirihara's bandages because he's not prone to having seizures, and all."

"It's true, I'm not," Saeki shrugged.

Even though Atobe and Oshitari complained, they finally agreed to go into town. Inui warned them that if any villagers recognized them then they should get out as soon as possible. After all, only three days had passed for the villagers.

"Things will be easier once we get Shishido and Ootori," said Atobe as the three of them began their long journey.

"How so?" said Oshitari. "If I remember correctly, those two were often counterproductive to whatever we were doing."

"What Universe are they from?" Itsuki asked.

"The Superhero Universe," Atobe said, and then he looked at Oshitari. "What makes you say something like that? Shishido had lots of advanced technology while Ootori had super powers."

"Yeah, and Shishido also got kidnapped all the time and we had to go rescue him," Oshitari. "And, all the while, Ootori frequently lost key super powers when it was most inconvenient in addition to lying about powers he had and didn't have."

"That is true," said Atobe. "This time, let's be sure to keep a list of all of Ootori's powers and when they disappear. At the same time, let's keep Shishido in a papoose or something."

Everyone chuckled warmly at the thought of Shishido in a papoose. Go on, you do it too. You know you want to.


	13. Threats

Chanel 113- Threats

Everyone waited patiently, or not so patiently, for Kirihara to wake up. It wasn't until it was almost night time before he started to move again. His eyes flickered slightly and appeared initially confused with the sight of the rocks above him instead of the sky.

They were just about to say, "Wut up, Kiri-dawg?" or something equally gangster, but Kirihara happened to look down at himself first to see that he was not wearing a shirt.

His facial expression clearly conveyed his initial thought: "AHHHHH! I'VE BEEN RAPED!"

"Kirihara, welcome back!" Eiji said immediately just so he could orient himself.

He looked over with his eyes to see Eiji along with several other people. By that time, Itsuki and the Detectives had returned from their adventure to the town with water _and _food since they are overachievers.

"You guys!" Kirihara managed to articulate as he tried to roll over but he soon discovered the gesture would be impossible.

"Kirihara, in addition to the shot from Atobe and the bruising from Taka," Inui started. "You also have a broken wrist and another shot in your knee."

"I could have told you that," Kirihara said, taking a better look at himself to see he was more bandaged up than he had originally thought.

"Did something happen while we were away?" Momo asked with a slight laugh.

"Don't laugh at my pain!" Kirihara ordered with a slight flail, which he regretted a few seconds later.

"It would be best if you just avoided moving all together," Saeki advised.

"Well—" Kirihara began. "Wait, who the hell are you?"

So they decided right then was the best time to explain everything to Kirihara. They explained how they were once again stuck jumping around to different Universes, except this time they had involved several more people. Well, _Inui _had involved several other people. No one else volunteered to take credit for the situation.

"Now it's your turn to explain what happened to you," Atobe offered.

Kirihara took a deep breath. "Well," he said. "One second I was getting ready to go to tennis practice, the next I'm suddenly in the desert riding my horse and there's this screaming and crying girl behind me! I don't know what's going on at first and…"

He trailed off.

"Don't laugh, but I fell off," he said.

Everyone laughed at him. Not because it was funny, but just because he told them not to laugh. After he finished yelling at them, he continued.

"When I woke up, I was still in the same spot and the girl was gone, but then I looked up to see there was this angry mob coming after me," he said. "I can hardly even move because of the pile drive I got from this guy,"—he threw a glare at Taka—"So it takes pretty much everything I have to pull myself back on my horse. But by this time, the angry mob is closer and now they're taking shots at me."

He paused a moment from his story.

"I don't really remember anything after that," he said finally.

"Well, we know that you somehow ended up here," said Inui. "You must have passed out while still on your horse, and she must have come here."

"So no time passed in this Universe while I was in other ones?" Kirihara said. "How does that even make sense? Isn't that a complete contradiction of the space time continuum?"

"Yes," Inui answered plainly. No explanation was needed, basically because Inui was confused about it too, though he would never admit it.

"So what do we have to do?" Kirihara said. "I want to leave this Universe so I can get all better in an instant."

"Well, Kirihara, has it turns out, we need you to complete the mission," said Inui.

Kirihara groaned. "What do I have to do? Not terrorize the village again. They're not afraid of me anymore, and they're definitely not going to take me seriously if I can't even move."

"Well, you have to heal quickly and get motivated for Tuesday," Oshitari said.

Kirihara groaned again. "I don't want to," he said. "Someone dress up as me and take my place."

"You know," said Momo. "We actually could do that, right?"

"What do you mean?" said everyone, immediately getting tired of Momo's bad ideas.

"No, really!" said Momo. "The villagers don't take Kirihara seriously anymore now that they know he's actually a pansy!"

"Hey!" said Kirihara angrily.

"So what if one of us rolls in and terrorizes them?" Momo continued as if Kirihara hadn't said anything. "We'd be like… the _new _bad guy in town! I mean, it never says specifically that Kirihara has to do it. What do you say?"

Everyone contemplated this idea.

Then, almost as if they came to a telepathic decision, everyone quickly put their finger on their nose in order to crudely determine who would have to do it.

"Now, now," said Inui. "That is a silly way to determine whose job it will be."

"You're one to talk," said Oshitari. "You did it too."

"Nevertheless," said Inui. "There are four people among us who carry guns. One is injured and could not possibly do it. Another has a gun with only one shot in it. The last two people are quite interchangeable and I do believe it should come down to choosing one of those two people."

"Yeah!" said Eiji. "Besides, you guys can't be shot, so you're all set."

"You do it, Oshitari," said Atobe.

"Why me?" demanded Oshitari. "I _just _came back to life."

"You can't use that as your excuse forever," said Momo. "Just think of it this way; while you were a rotting corpse underground, all of us had to complete a mission. So this is you returning the favor!"

"I don't want to think about it that way," Oshitari said childishly.

"Well, I've elected you," said Atobe. "And if you don't do it, then I will use my captain influence on our coach to make sure you're kicked off the regulars, even if you cut off all your hair."

"How cruel," was all Oshitari could say in response.

"You should prove to be more threatening than Kirihara because you can actually kill people," Inui said.

"Not that you have to or anything," said Taka.

"Can we renew our pact?" Eiji asked.

"There's a problem, though," Oshitari said. "I can't ride a horse."

"Well," said Inui. "That's not really a problem at all. Taka can teach you how tomorrow. After all, you have to terrorize the village on Tuesday, and tomorrow is Monday."

"Alas, it seems as though I have no choice, then," Oshitari sighed.

"It's about time you figured it out," said Atobe.

"What are we going to do in the meantime?" Itsuki asked.

"Does anyone have some kind of serious painkiller that would knock me out completely until we switch Universes?" Kirihara whined.

"I have some Aleve," said Saeki as he pulled a bottle out of his bag.

Kirihara gave Saeki this look that said, "Seriously?"

Saeki obviously didn't get it because he was still sitting there holding the bottle.

"Somehow I seriously doubt Aleve is going to do anything for me right now," Kirihara said finally.

"It was just a suggestion," Saeki said, looking a little betrayed.

"Since it is obviously so late at night, I make a motion that we get some sleep!" Momo declared with a mighty yawn.

Everyone eventually agreed that they were tired as well. Plus, they had a lot of time to kill so it wouldn't hurt if they slept through at least eight hours of it.

So they all lied down in the sand and found it wasn't terribly comfortable. Even though they used various jackets or bags or what have you, none of them were very happy with their situation.

"Which Universe are you most excited about returning to?" Eiji whispered to Taka since the two of them as well as Saeki and Itsuki were the only ones left awake.

"Well…" Taka began. "Not the Mary-Sue Universe."

"Oh yeah," Eiji rolled his eyes.

"Mary-Sue Universe?" Saeki and Itsuki whined.

"Don't worry, guys," said Eiji. "Rokkaku wasn't affected by her wrath. She basically just messed up Seigaku and Hyoutei."

"Good," said Saeki.

"But we killed her so it doesn't really matter anyway," said Taka.

"There will probably be a new one," said Eiji. "Like a twin sister or a cousin or something."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Taka sighed. "I don't know which one I'm most excited about. What about you?"

"I liked the Soccer Universe, the Band Universe and…I sorta liked the OMG Universe…" Eiji counted on his fingers. "I know I'm forgetting one that I really liked… Oh, the Ninja Universe!"

"I didn't like the Ninja Universe," said Taka because he was still bitter out his predicament concerning his height whilst in the Ninja Universe.

"I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't excited about seeing these other Universes," Saeki said.

"I would enjoy it too," said Eiji. "Only if we had the power to switch Universes whenever we want. Having to complete missions sort of just ruins the whole experience."

"What were some of the missions you had to complete?" Itsuki asked.

"We went to this Harry Potter Universe, and it was our mission was to win Quidditch," Eiji said.

"Quidditch?" Rokkaku said simultaneously.

"Yeah, it was this weird sport that wizards play," Taka explained. "But…oh! Do you remember what happened there?"

"Yeah!" said Eiji. "Shishido got kidnapped by the emperor of evil or whatever he was, and we had to go rescue him, so we almost missed the game so then Inui would have had to use drastic measures and blow up Gryffindor!"

"Um…okay…"

"You had to be there," Eiji said finally.

"Well, we'll get there eventually," Saeki pointed out.

"That is true, unfortunately," Taka nodded.

"How long do you four plan on chatting?" Atobe leaned over. "I am tired and you are annoying me."

"Sorry…" the four said passively as they curled up and tried to go to sleep, now paranoid about making a single noise.


	14. Statistics

Channel 114- Statistics

"Time?" Inui said to Saeki.

Saeki checked his watch. "Noon," he reported.

"We have twenty-four hours to turn Oshitari into someone who does vaguely the same thing as Kirihara, except much better," Inui declared. "It won't take all that much effort, I don't think."

Kirihara just sat there looking offended. He didn't even know how to react.

"Did you only make that comment so you could be mean to me?" he said finally.

"Therefore," Inui continued as if Kirihara hadn't said anything. "We all will contribute pieces of our personal skills in order to improve his chances at successfully carrying out the terrorization of the village Kirihara failed to conquer on several occasions."

"Stop it," Kirihara ordered.

"Taka, you go first," Inui said.

"Okay, Mounting a Horse 101," Taka said to Oshitari. Taka was standing there holding the reins of his own horse while Oshitari was looking far from thrilled and holding the reins of Kirihara's horse. Everyone else was standing around watching because they wanted to see Oshitari fall down.

"Do you all have to watch?" Oshitari said to the others.

"We want to see you fall down," Atobe said truthfully.

Oshitari gave a heavy sigh.

"First," Taka said. "Put your foot in that loop there."

He demonstrated and Oshitari did the same thing. Taka proceeded to explain everything with minute details until he was sitting proudly atop his horse. Oshitari failed a few times at pulling himself up, but he got himself up after about three times.

The others applauded, but they were secretly disappointed he hadn't fallen off.

"That wasn't so hard," said Oshitari.

Kirihara's horse made a discontented noise, and then proceeded to jump and flail around crazily until Oshitari was successfully catapulted off of her. He lied in the sand, unharmed but so overtaken with shame that he didn't want to get up. Plus, everyone was laughing with him because they were glad he finally fell down.

Kirihara's horse calmed down after Oshitari was off of her, and then trotted over to where Kirihara was. She kneeled down next to him with a face that clearly said, "No way, girlfriend."

"Hm," said Kirihara. "I guess she doesn't like anyone else riding her."

"I gathered so much," Oshitari said as he sat up.

He stood and started brushing himself off. He was just about to say how he was never going to mount a horse again when Taka hopped off his.

"Hey, my horse is less ill-tempered than Kirihara's," he said. "I bet he wouldn't mind if you road him."

"Do I _have _to ride a horse?" said Oshitari.

"Yes," said everyone else since they wanted to see him fall down again.

Oshitari grumbled and Taka once again guided him through the mounting process until he was sitting on the horse. Taka's horse didn't really seem to mind and just continued to stand there and be chill.

They others were disappointed again because they got the vibe that Taka's horse was going to be cooperative and helpful to the process. So they decided to go off and make a fire and cook some beans.

"Making beans is fun," said Eiji as he prodded the can of beans with a stick while it was sitting in the fire.

Everyone raised their eyes at Eiji as they heard a loud THUNK coming from the direction of where Oshitari was learning how to ride a horse. They couldn't see how it was going because they were sitting behind the rock formation.

"Aw…" they said since they had missed whatever had happened, which was probably Oshitari falling down.

"What skill are you going to contribute to teaching Oshitari how to be an outlaw, Saeki?" Itsuki asked.

"Probably a few choice locations to shoot people so they're not a threat anymore, but will live," Saeki nodded, feeling noble.

"Oshitari doesn't need any advice on how to shoot a gun," Atobe said knowingly.

"Well, he might want to know the good spots to shoot people to avoid killing them," Saeki pointed out.

"Without killing them," Atobe repeated. "Right…"

"I wonder what sort of skill I can contribute!" said Eiji.

"You know, I wasn't serious about how we all had to contribute a skill," Inui said. "Only people with useful skills."

"I'm sure we all have something useful we can contribute if we thought hard enough," Momo decided.

"Yes, but he is going to be terrorizing this village for, at most, a half an hour," Inui said. "So it's not necessary for him to be the perfect outlaw. Just a better one than Kirihara."

"Which isn't hard," said Momo.

"You know," said Kirihara with a glared. "If there was a wheelchair in this Universe, I would definitely be in it. And isn't there some kind of rule against making fun of people in wheelchairs?"

Everyone was going to tell Kirihara to shut up but then they considered his statement and realized it was sort of true. So they looked to Saeki and Itsuki for conformation.

"Yeah, he definitely would be," Saeki said somewhat regrettably.

"There, don't you guys feel like horrible people now?" Kirihara accused.

"You win this time," said Atobe. "But once we switch Universes, we will become ruthless again."

"I will savor every moment," Kirihara said, sounding relieved.

Suddenly, Taka ran over. "Guys, Oshitari fell off the horse and broke his neck and is paralyzed from the waist down!" he said.

Everyone blinked at Taka.

"Really?" said Momo, starting to stand up with a sparkle in his eye.

"No," said Taka with a chuckle. "I just wanted to see what your reactions would be."

With that, Taka walked away.

"Wtf?" said everyone as they looked back at each other.

"That was so uncalled for," said Atobe with a slight pout.

"What do you guys do for fun while you're waiting around for missions to be competed?" Itsuki asked randomly.

"Fun?" Kirihara said. "Whoever told you this was _fun_? Half of the torture of this adventure is having to deal with all the waiting around time!"

"It's not as bad when we're in a normalish Universe," Momo said. "When we were in the Band Universe, we had to hang around for a week so we went to some theme parks and played Ultimate Frisbee and stuff like that."

"But when we're in Universes like this one, we don't really do anything," Eiji admitted. "Especially this one, I guess, because we have to hide from people at it is because _someone _here is an outlaw!"

Eiji glared at Kirihara.

"Hey, everyone's supposed to be nice to me!" said Kirihara.

"Yeah so, basically nothing," Atobe said finally to Itsuki.

"On the bright side, if we keep at this rate then we should be home in…" Inui trailed off and then looked at the beans. "Never mind."

"Never mind?" said Saeki. "Why never mind?"

"Just never mind."

Everyone was silent.

"Well now you have to tell us," said Momo.

"The number is disappointingly high," Inui shook his head.

"Your predictions were never accurate anyway," Atobe said. "I recall every time you did the calculations, the number came out differently."

"It is only about averages," Inui said. "We consistently found people at different paces so it is impossible to make an educated guess."

"So why do you even bother doing the math?" Itsuki asked.

"BECAUSE I'M INUI," said Inui but he didn't really. His face said it well enough and Itsuki took a hint. Everyone knows that calculating data is essentially compulsive for Inui.

Then Taka came back.

"Okay, for real, Oshitari just fell off the horse again and this time he really did break his neck and get paralyzed," Taka said.

"We don't believe you," said Momo.

Taka frowned. "Come on, I'm just trying to have a little bit of fun."

"No, Taka, it's too out of character and it's not funny to us," said Eiji.

Just then, Oshitari came over looking sandy and disheveled like he had just had rough sex.

"I don't want to ride a horse anymore," he said.

"You have to learn how to do it if you're going to properly terrorize the village," said Inui.

"Why can't he do it?" Oshitari said, pointing at Taka. "He knows how to ride a horse. He can wield a weapon."

"Because this type of Universe doesn't use _swords_," said everyone at the same time as if it was a given and Oshitari was just a darned fool for thinking they could make that kind of change.

"I don't want to do it anymore," Oshitari said childishly as he sat down. "And none of you have the right to force me."

"I may not have the right, but I certainly have the authority," Atobe said. "If, because of you, we cannot leave this Universe in a timely manner, I will see to it that you never play tennis for an organized team again. And trust me, I can follow through with that threat."

Oshitari stared at Atobe and then looked at the others.

"Can he?" he asked.

"You would know better than us," said Inui.

"But I'm willing to bet yes," Eiji shrugged.

Oshitari turned back to Atobe. Then he sighed, defeated. He knew it was true. "I'm just taking a break, then," he said.

"Good," said Atobe.

And then they prodded the beans.


	15. Terrorized

Channel 115- Terrorized

At about nine o'clock the next morning, Saeki and Itsuki went into the pleasant little village and bought some traditional cowboy clothing Oshitari could wear. They used money that Kirihara happened to have lying around since we _still _don't endorse stealing. Guns and killing are okay, but not stealing.

Everyone turned around to give Oshitari his privacy as he changed into his new clothes. Maybe someone peaked, but we'll leave you to decide that for yourself.

"They'll call you Oshitari the Gray," Atobe said.

"Am I supposed to laugh at that?" Oshitari raised an eyebrow as he put on the cowboy hat.

"Yes," said Atobe, crossing his arms.

"Fine," said Oshitari. "Haha."

"Remember, try not to kill anyone!" Eiji reminded him.

Oshitari only stared at Eiji like he was a moron.

Then he grabbed the reins of Taka's horse and pulled himself up with less than expertise.

"Don't worry, Horse, you'll be fine," said Taka, patting his horse.

Oshitari cleared his throat and Taka looked up at him.

"…You'll be fine, Oshitari," he said.

"Why don't I have _any _support?" Oshitari sighed.

"All right," said Inui. "The village is straight ahead in that direction. What's the time now?"

"Almost twelve," Saeki answered.

"Make sure to state that you have some kind of affiliation with me!" said Kirihara.

"Why, so they'll automatically assume that they have no reason to fear me?" Oshitari said.

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines that it would strike fear into their hearts, but way to shoot me down!" said Kirihara.

"Can't we just kill him?" Oshitari said to the others.

"No," said Momo. "He had a point when he said he was practically a kid in a wheelchair."

"_And_ you can't just kill me!" Kirihara said angrily.

Saeki's watch beeped.

"It's noon now," he said.

"Here it goes," Oshitari said with a heavy sigh of despair.

He pulled the reins of the horse to turn him around. Horse sort of disagreed and was confused because he didn't want to ride off while not facing Taka anymore. Taka tried to calm him down and assure him everything was all right, and turned him around for Oshitari.

"I'm getting bad vibes," said Eiji as they watched Oshitari ride off towards the village.

Then they all looked at each other.

"I kind of want to watch," Taka said.

"I want to see Oshitari fall of the horse," Atobe said.

So they all mutually agreed that they wanted to see the action so they frolicked off to the town. Of course, they hadn't really considered the fact that Kirihara was still there and no one took a moment to look back and realize that he wasn't able to just jump up and follow them.

Which was a pretty dumb mistake on their part, obviously.

They reached the town before the ruckus even started. Oshitari was still sitting on top of the horse at the end of the road.

"What are you waiting for?" Itsuki whispered.

"How should I do this?" Oshitari said.

"Just terrorize them!" Eiji ordered. "But don't kill anybody."

Oshitari gave another heavy sigh and snapped the reins. The horse slowly trotted into town and a few of the townsfolk who were outside watched him go by. They had never seen this mysterious stranger before, so they didn't know what to make of him.

Oshitari remembered the bar from the last time they had come to this particular Universe. He also happened to remember that most of the townspeople tended to wait inside.

When he reached the bar, he dismounted almost perfectly. And, even though Taka was proud of him, everyone else cursed them both because they wanted to see Oshitari fall down.

He pushed the doors open in the classic western style, and everyone in the bar turned around to see him.

The bartender was cleaning a glass.

"What'll you have stranger?" the bartender asked.

Oshitari didn't answer. He only pulled his gun out of his holster, loaded it and fired off in a random direction. A man sitting at a table cried out in pain and collapsed to the floor. This caused everyone in the bar to get up with their own guns and fire at him, but of course it didn't hit him.

He only stood there as if it wasn't even happening. Then he took some more shots, hitting more random men. Pretty soon, everyone realized that no matter how many times they shot him, they weren't going to hit him, so they dove behind the counter to hide.

"Are you guys all terrorized?" Oshitari asked finally, putting his gun away.

"We won't lose hope as long as our sheriff protects us!" came the cries from behind the counter.

Oshitari gave the most exasperated sigh of all time as he exited the bar. He went back over to Horse who was still waiting patiently, and pulled himself up on him again.

All the men came running out of the bar to watch him as he rode over to the jailhouse.

"Sheriff," he said in his normal speaking voice. "I'm calling you out."

Oshitari remembered the sheriff from when they were in the Universe before. He had shot him in the leg already, so he didn't think it would be that difficult to dispose of him again.

However, he was quite surprised when the man who exited the jailhouse was a gigantic man who was larger than normal humans. He had on a shiny sheriff badge.

"Oh," said Oshitari. "Hello. Are you the sheriff?"

"I am," said the giant man.

Oshitari pulled out his gun. "The bigger they are, the harder they fall," he said in his cliché film noir voice as he took a shot.

However, the sheriff raised his gun and shot right back. Even though this is literally impossible, the bullets collided in the air and exploded.

"Hm," said Oshitari, looking impressed.

"Let's do this right," said the sheriff. "A shoot out."

"Very well," Oshitari nodded, dismounting.

He and the sheriff stood back to back while all the villagers watched. They were just about to announce the rules when Inui came jogging up.

"You don't have to, Oshitari," Inui said. "The remote says the mission is complete. The village is sufficiently terrorized."

"That may be so," said Oshitari. "But any man who can match my shooting ability deserves to have a fair shootout."

"You just want to kill him," Inui accused.

"So?" said Oshitari.

"Fine," said Inui with a sigh as he ran away so he wouldn't end up getting shot instead.

"Ten paces, and then we turn and shoot," said the sheriff.

They both started walking and counting. On two, Oshitari spun around and shot the sheriff in the back. The sheriff keeled over and cried out, and Oshitari only approached him and continued to shoot until he was lifeless.

"That oughta do it," Oshitari said, putting his gun away.

The villagers were in shock, and they immediately threw their hands up in the air and screamed as they ran back into their homes. Oshitari was enjoying their chaotic fear so he took his gun out again and shot up in the sky a few times.

Oshitari came close to cackling under his breath a little bit, but then he realized that he was having way too much fun and perhaps that was wrong so he promptly stopped and mounted the horse again. He rode to the edge of the town where the others were waiting and looking quite disappointed.

"Are you disappointed because I didn't fall?" Oshitari inferred.

"No, because you said you wanted to have a fair shootout with the sheriff but you shot early!" said Eiji. "And you didn't even _have _to kill him! Inui _told _you the mission was done!"

"So?" said Oshitari.

Well, it would be kind of pointless to argue with that logic.

"I think I would have done well in this Universe," said Oshitari. "Better than Kirihara, anyway."

"Where _is_ Kirihara?" Taka said suddenly.

"That must be why we're not being engulfed with white light right about now," Inui guessed. Wait, no. Make that "Inui reasoned." Inui does not GUESS!

So they made their way back to the rock formation that Kirihara was hiding out in, and boy was he angry.

"Don't just leave me behind!" he commanded.

"Whatever, Kirihara," said everyone because they didn't respect him.

The white light appeared and Inui pressed the button.

An instant later, they were in a new place. A familiar place, thankfully.

"I want to see new Universes!" complained Eiji as if that was a justified thing to complain about.

"Oh, I feel so much better…" Kirihara said as he stretched his arms high in the sky and jumped around a little bit. "Being mortally wounded isn't fun at all. I don't recommend it to anyone."

"This is definitely Super Hero Universe," Atobe said. "So we have to find Ootori and Shishido."

"That shouldn't be too difficult," said Momo. "We know where they live and where they work. As creepy as that sounds."

"It does sound creepy," Taka pointed out.

"So Shishido and Ootori from Hyoutei are superheroes?" Saeki said.

"Yes, they are," said Oshitari. "But as we explained earlier, often times they are more of a hinder than a help."

"I'm going to assume that both of them survived the blast we left in the middle of," Atobe said. "After all, they're superheroes."

"Do we remember exactly where Shishido lives?" questioned Kirihara. "If I remember correctly, they both live there."

Everyone tried to stifle their giggles.

"Not really exactly where they live…" Inui admitted after they had regained their composure. "But he lived relatively close to where they work and we appeared near where they worked last time. So I guess we have to wander around until we see anything familiar."

No one liked the plan but no one felt like thinking up a better one. So they walked around as Oshitari fished for compliments for people to tell him how awesome he was at being an outlaw, but everyone refused to give him what he wanted. That's okay, though. He'd just tell Gakuto _all _about it.

They passed by a store and Eiji looked in the window at the newspaper.

"Guys, wait!" Eiji exclaimed as he gestured for them all to come over. They did, expecting to be unimpressed with whatever Eiji was going to show them.

But they became quite distressed by what they saw.

The newspaper had a picture of Silver Man and Silver Boy split right down the middle. The headline stated, "SILVER PAIR: A PAIR NO MORE?"


	16. Flashbacks

Channel 116- Flashbacks

They quickly purchased the newspaper and opened it up.

_"The famed superhero Silver Man has been seen on four different occasions saving the world without the esteemed Silver Boy by his side," _Momo read out loud. _"The pair is normally inseparable, and when asked for a comment, Silver Man was strangely aloof, vastly different than how he normally acts. When asked about Silver Boy's whereabouts, Silver Man only replied with, 'I don't want to talk about him right now.'"_

"This is very strange," Atobe said. "Impossible to believe almost. I don't think Ootori would ever say such a thing about Shishido."

_"Then something even more terrifying has been happening over the past couple of days," _Momo continued, ignoring Atobe's interruption. _"The normally quick to react Silver Man has not showed up to fight any crime. Squidbeard, The Dreaded Domino and Percibus Unimus have all wreaked their share of havoc without any intervention from our hero. Where has the Silver Pair gone and will they ever come back?"_

"The author isn't Shishido or Ootori," Inui said. "I wonder if either of them has shown up to work recently."

"Who knows what happened to them?" said Eiji. "Shishido might have died in the explosion, so that's why Ootori was working alone! And then he was just so overtaken with grief over the death of his sidekick so that's why he stopped fighting crime all together!"

"I doubt that," Oshitari said. "They must have gotten into some sort of quarrel."

"How is that more plausible than Shishido dying in an explosion?" Eiji frowned.

"Either way, we have to find Ootori to sort this out," Kirihara said.

"Agreed," Inui said. "We know that their hideout is at Ootori's house, so we have to go _there_ instead of to Shishido's house."

They eventually agreed. So, after wandering around aimlessly for a while, they finally stumbled across a telephone booth and decided to employ the same method as they had before and ripped out the page with Choutarou's name on it.

After many toils of trying to get there without asking for directions, someone finally gave in and they found themselves standing outside Choutarou's apartment.

"Hello?" Momo said as he knocked lightly on the door. "Anybody home?"

There was no answer from inside. The apartment was still a total wreck like it had been the last time they had visited.

"What happened here?" said Itsuki.

"It looks like a tornado hit," Saeki said.

"Um…nothing…" said Seigaku and Kirihara.

"Ootori?" Atobe called. "Are you here?"

They went into the other room, which was the bedroom, and discovered Choutarou there. He was curled up under the blankets and his hair was all matted and he had bags under his eyes. There were tons of used tissues scattered around the room.

"Yikes," said Kirihara.

"You looked worse when we found _you_," said Taka.

"You guys…" Choutarou said quietly as he sat up.

"What is wrong with you?" Eiji asked.

"It's…it's…" Choutarou started as he grabbed a tissue and buried his face in it, bursting into tears. "I don't want to talk about it!"

Everyone felt bad for him because he was crying so they ran over and tried to comfort him so he would at least stop. When he finally got a hold of himself, they tried to pry some information out of him.

"Is it Shishido?" Atobe asked. "Did he die?"

Choutarou only continued to pout, but shook his head.

"Did you guys get in a fight?" Oshitari asked.

Choutarou sniffled, pouted more, and then burst into tears again.

"I'll take that as a yes," Oshitari said as he looked triumphant.

"That isn't what happened…" Choutarou dabbed his eyes. "He got kidnapped!"

Everyone waited for him to continue.

"…And _then _he died?" Inui tried.

"No!" Choutarou said. "Shishido is still alive!"

"Is he still kidnapped?" Saeki asked.

No one was really sure what was happening.

"Okay, I'll just have a flashback to explain the story," Choutarou sighed.

_The screen wavered and everything turned black and white…_

_"NOOOOO!"__ Dr. Brain screamed. "IN RETROSPECT, PUTTING THAT BLINKING LIGHT THERE WAS NOT SUCH A GREAT IDEA!"_

_The mechanical spider then started exploding, creating a giant inferno._

_When the blast cleared, there was rubble everywhere. Some of the rubble stirred, and then Choutarou emerged from it._

_"What?" he said, looking around as he pushed some rubble aside and climbed out of it. "Where…am I?" He winced and keeled over a little bit. "I remember this place…this is Dr. Brain's lair!"_

_He picked up a piece of the rubble that clearly should have weighed tons._

_"I'm a superhero again!" he said. "Shishido? Shishido!"_

_Choutarou then got up and started searching around._

_"Don't bother, Silver Man!" came a voice behind him._

_Choutarou spun around and saw Squidbeard standing in front of him. Squidbeard basically just looks like a guy who has squids for his beard instead of hair. Kind of like Davy Jones._

_"Squidbeard!"__ Choutarou exclaimed. "Where's Shishido?"_

_"He's safe back at my lair!" Squidbeard said. "But I wouldn't come after him if I were you!"_

_"What?" Choutarou demanded, but Squidbeard suddenly disappeared while cackling maniacally._

The flashback ended and everyone waited.

"And?" Kirihara asked.

"Why didn't you just go get him?" Atobe asked.

"I'm getting to that part!" Choutarou said as the screen started to shimmer again.

_"Ahh," said Squidbeard deviously as Choutarou stood before him looking determined. "So you have finally come. It has taken you two days, but you have come!"_

_"Of course I came!" said Choutarou. "All I had to do was follow the trail you left behind with all of the monsters that were attacking Metrothum!"_

_"That was exactly the plan!" laughed Squidbeard._

_"So I suppose I'll have to choose between saving my sidekick and saving someone else that you have kidnapped!" said Choutarou. "Where are they?"_

_"I have not kidnapped anyone else," said Squidbeard. "I have no need to. I'll have you know that your sidekick is in my clutches, and if you make one wrong move then I will have him killed immediately!"_

_"What?" Choutarou said angrily just as Dr. Brain flew out on his unmanly little hover craft. "Dr. Brain! But we destroyed you!"_

_"That's what you thought, Silver Man!" Dr. Brain said. "As you can see, Squidbeard and I have teamed up! And if you ever want to see your sidekick again then you will stop fighting crime!"_

_"Never!"__ Choutarou said._

_"Then you have sealed his fate!" said Dr. Brain. "Can you live with the guilt of his death on your shoulders?"_

_"Why should I trust you?" said Choutarou._

_"You don't have to," said Dr. Brain. "We'll just have you know that the next time you fight crime, you will find your sidekick's body in our wake!"_

_"And trust us, Silver Man, we will do it!" said Squidbeard._

_Choutarou looked like he was about to say something, but instead clenched his fist dramatically._

The flashback ended again.

And everyone waited again.

"Then what?" Saeki asked.

"That's it!" said Choutarou. Then he looked at Saeki. "I don't know you."

"That's not important right now," said Inui. "Are you telling us that you have not seen or heard from Shishido since you have returned? And Dr. Brain and this Squidbeard character say that they have supposedly taken him captive and will kill him if you fight any crime?"

Choutarou nodded, still pouting.

"So you just came back here and have been angsting this whole time?" Momo asked.

"Pretty much," said Choutarou. "I'm not willing to take the chance that they were telling the truth!"

"Yeah, but meanwhile you've been leaving the city to their wrath," said Taka as if that was the huge problem.

"But Shishido!" said Choutarou since _that _was the problem.

"Well, you know where their lair is, don't you?" said Kirihara. "Let's just go in there, get Shishido, then get the mission and then get out of here."

"But…" Choutarou said. "They also told me that if I ever went back to their lair then they'd kill Shishido."

"Why are you letting them get the best of you?" Atobe demanded as he hit Choutarou upside the head. "You're a superhero! They are a man with an overly large head and a man with a squid for a beard!"

"But…Shishido…" Choutarou said, rubbing the spot where he had been hit.

"Couldn't you just teleport in there, grab Shishido, then teleport out of there?" Eiji suggested.

"I don't know where he is," Choutarou said. "I haven't seen him yet."

"So for all you know, his body was obliterated in the blast and your enemies have been fooling you all along," Oshitari sighed.

"Shishido…obliterated in the blast…?" Choutarou's lip quivered as he picked up another tissue and started to sob again.

"Nice job, Oshitari," said Momo, shaking his head.

"It's true, though," Oshitari crossed his arms.

"We have to draw them out of hiding and take on of them prisoner," Inui stated as he made up a genius plan on the spot. "We'll force information out of him and figure out whether or not they even have Shishido. Then, if they _do _have Shishido, we'll force them to give him back."

"I want to do that, but how can we force them out of hiding?" Choutarou said.

"They've been wreaking havoc around the city for days while you've been in here moping," said Atobe. "All you have to do is walk outside."

"But…if I fight crime…they'll kill Shishido!" said Choutarou.

"Then stay in your secret identity until the very last second!" said Eiji. "Then you can grab one of them and we'll go from there!"

"But…then they'll know my secret identity!" Choutarou's voice was getting ultimately whiny.

"It won't matter because we're leaving this Universe as soon as we finish the mission," Inui said.

"But what if we end up getting scattered into random Universes again?" Choutarou said.

"We won't be because I'm destroying the remote as soon as we get back," Inui stated.

"But—" Choutarou began but Atobe just slapped him.

"As your captain, I _order _you to do our plan," he said.

Choutarou lowered his head. Even though the slap didn't hurt because of his impervious nature, it certainly surprised him. He never thought that he would get slapped by Atobe.

"All right…" he said reluctantly.

"And besides, even if Shishido is still alive and then they end up killing him, he'll just come back to life in the next Universe," Momo shrugged.

"I don't want Shishido to die!" Choutarou sobbed as he picked up another tissue and blew his nose into it.


	17. Diabolical Plans

Chapter 117- Diabolical Plans

Everyone changed into civilian clothes because the last time they had faced Dr. Brain, he had assumed they were superheroes allied with Silver Man. They didn't want Shishido to get killed pointlessly because then there would be no getting Choutarou to do _anything_.

"We have to find Shishido anyway so the counter will go down to thirty-nine," said Inui with a sigh.

"Thirty-nine?" Choutarou said. "Why is the number so high?"

"Because there are more people this time, apparently," Inui said.

"Is that why they're here?" Choutarou asked, pointing at Itsuki and Saeki.

"Is there some way we can just inform everyone in the world of this fact so people can stop pointing at us and saying 'What the hell'?" Saeki asked.

"No, Saeki," said Inui. "If there was some way to communicate with other people from other Universes, don't you think we would use it to plan ahead of time instead of inform them of your existence?"

"You know, I wasn't being serious," said Saeki with a frown.

Choutarou wandered away from the group and looked in the window at a newspaper. The headline said, "WHERE IS SILVER MAN?"

He looked ultra sad as he read what he could; _The superhero we once relied on is now abandoning us in our time of need. What will happen to our city when we are left unprotected?_

Choutarou dramatically put his hands against the glass. He might have had a significantly long flashback sequence just then, but he was interrupted by a large crash off in the distance.

"What was that?" Choutarou said as he spun around to face the others.

"Hopefully one of your two nemesises," said Momo.

"Nemeses," Inui corrected.

"Whatever!" said Momo.

While most other people of the city were running away from the commotion, our band of unlikely heroes ran _towards _it.

Sure enough, Dr. Brain was parading through downtown in a giant mechanical spider.

"Does he have any other kind of giant mechanical something or others?" said Kirihara, looking annoyed.

"Apparently not," Taka said.

"You there!" Dr. Brain yelled through his intercom. "Why aren't you running away in fear?"

"We're here to stop you, Dr. Brain!" Choutarou yelled, running forward.

"You?" laughed Dr. Brain. "Mere mortals?"

He stomped his giant mechanical spider leg only inches away from where Choutarou was standing. Choutarou, of course, didn't flinch at the gesture at all. He looked back at the others for last minute confirmation, and they nodded. He took a deep breath and faced the giant mechanical spider, then wound up and punched the leg as hard as he could.

The leg collapsed from underneath the spider. Dr. Brain cried out as his spider exploded into tiny bits and created only a pile of rubble on the ground. He scrambled out of his spider and tried to run away on his unmanly little hovercraft, but he was stopped in his tracks by Choutarou.

"Who are you?" said Dr. Brain. "You look vaguely familiar, but the glasses and combed hair have me baffled!"

"Perhaps this is refresh your memory!" said Choutarou as he picked Dr. Brain up by his head and kicked his hovercraft into a building, causing it to explode.

"…Silver Man?" Dr. Brain said finally.

"Correct!" Choutarou said as he took his glasses off and looked SO dramatic. Everyone else, meanwhile, was just watching even though they probably could have helped.

"Ha!" laughed Dr. Brain. "The mild mannered reporter turns out to be none other than Silver Man! But you made a vast mistake, showing yourself to me! Now I will have Squidbeard destroy your sidekick!"

"Not likely, Dr. Brain," said Inui as he walked over. "Now you're _our _hostage. We'd be willing to make an exchange if you want to save your life. You give us Silver Boy back and we'll let you go free."

Dr. Brain glared. "I'd recognize that patch anywhere!" he said. "You are Pirate Man, aren't you?"

Inui looked annoyed. "I guess," he said.

"All of you!" Dr. Brain said, looking at the others. "Your clever disguises fooled even me! Curse your genius minds!"

"He's not going to talk without a little persuasion," said Choutarou to Inui, and then he looked at Dr. Brain. "We're turning you over to the proper authorities!"

"No," said Inui. "We're going to force information out of him, remember?"

"Oh yeah," said Choutarou. "What do we do?"

"Well, it would help if he was unconscious," Inui said.

"Okay," said Choutarou as he bopped Dr. Brain on his overly large pulsating head, instantly knocking him out.

So they took Dr. Brain back to the Silver Cave, or whatever they call it, and tied him to a chair. While they were waiting for him to regain consciousness, they all drew on his face and dirty things on his head so that, were he to escape, he would at least be humiliated in the process.

When he finally did wake up, he discovered his predicament and tried to escape. But he basically failed.

"What do you want with me?" Dr. Brain demanded.

"I think it's pretty obvious what I want," said Choutarou. "I want you to return my sidekick to me!"

"Well, that's impossible now!" said Dr. Brain.

"What do you mean?" said Choutarou.

"He doesn't _want _to be your sidekick anymore!" Dr. Brain said.

Choutarou's face fell. "What do you mean?"

"Don't believe him, Ootori!" said Eiji. "Why would Shishido ever not want to be your sidekick?"

"He's just lying to get under your skin!" Momo assured him.

"Talk!" Choutarou ordered Dr. Brain.

"Right before my mechanical exploded almost a week ago," Dr. Brain started. "I put up a force field to save myself. After the dust cleared, I discovered Silver Boy, and he was unconscious and wounded. Just when I was about to destroy Silver Boy for good, I developed a perfect plan!"

"What plan?" said Choutarou.

"I took him back to my lair and decided to completely rehabilitate him, but also reprogram his mind so he worked for me!" Dr. Brain announced.

"No!" Choutarou gasped as he looked like he was about to faint, but Atobe steadied him.

"Yes!" said Dr. Brain.

"How did Squidbeard get involved in this?" said Choutarou.

"Because of you, Silver Man, the authorities know where my secret lair is, so I had to take my experiments elsewhere," said Dr. Brain. "I promised Squidbeard half of the world after we conquered it if he allowed me to utilize his lair!"

"This doesn't make any sense," said Saeki. "In the flashback we saw, Ootori was waking up immediately after the explosion took place."

"No, it's plausible," Choutarou said, shaking his head. "Before the explosion even took place, I was exposed to my ultimate weakness. It's not far fetched that I was unconscious for several hours, if not an entire day."

"What's your weakness?" said Itsuki.

"I can't _tell_ you!" said Choutarou.

"We never did find out what it was," Oshitari reminded himself.

"That's not important right now!" said Choutarou. "We have to rescue Shishido!"

"Yes, so the counter can go down and we can get our mission," Inui said.

Choutarou stared at him. "_And _so he can be rescued!" he said.

"That too," Inui nodded.

"Unlikely, Silver Man!" cackled Dr. Brain. "With the help of my accelerated healing technology, Silver Boy's injuries should be completely healed and, within a few short hours, he will be working for me!"

"I won't let it happen!" Choutarou said ambitiously.

"Just try and stop us!" came a voice behind them. They all spun around to see Squidbeard standing there looking dramatic.

"Squidbeard!" Choutarou yelled. "How did you find my hideout?"

"It was easy to simply follow you back!" said Squidbeard.

"Yeah, we probably should have gone someplace else," Eiji nodded.

"Well, now I know your intentions are not to kill Shishido, so I'm not afraid to fight you or any other form of crime anymore!" said Choutarou, pointing at Squidbeard. "So I will destroy you now and resume my role as this city's protector!"

"How noble Silver Man!" said Squidbeard. "Let's see how that works out for you when you are dead!"

Squidbeard then laughed diabolically and whipped out a giant tank that he happened to have on his back and no one noticed.

"My weakness…!" Choutarou said dramatically.

"Yes, I know your weakness, Silver Man!" said Squidbeard as he pulled the top off and a black cloud poured out and filled the room within seconds. Squidbeard's laughter was quickly joined by Dr. Brain's as they got quieter and quieter off in the distance.

Everyone coughed their fair share until the smoke began to clear.

"That smoke smelled gross…" Kirihara said.

But then they all turned around and saw that Dr. Brain was gone, and Choutarou was lying on the ground, not moving. They all slapped their cheeks and looked around for someone else to do something first before Itsuki and Saeki were booted in his general direction.

"He's not breathing!" Saeki said.

"Of course, it was his weakness!" said Eiji, hitting his fist into his palm. "But what was it?"

"We have to save him first, then we'll speculate!" said Momo, grabbing Eiji's shoulders and shaking him around. "Without Ootori, we'll have no chance to complete the mission!"

So they ran around frantically for a few seconds until Oshitari noticed a little pod sitting in the corner that said 'De-Weaknessifier'.

"Let's try that!" said Taka.

They all dragged Choutarou over to the De-Weaknessifier, put him inside it and closed the door. They pressed the button that was on the outside and the pod immediately filled with white smoke.

Minutes dragged by and they had no way of telling if it was doing any good. Finally, the pod opened up and all the smoke escaped into the air. Choutarou was still lying there and didn't look like he had moved at all.

Once again, Saeki went over to check and see if he was still alive.

"Well," Saeki reported. "He's breathing now. This pod must reverse the effects of his weakness!"

"Whatever it is," said Atobe.

"But why is he still unconscious?" demanded Oshitari impatiently. "The last thing we need is a brainwashed Shishido on the loose."

"Yeah, the last time he was brainwashed, he killed about eight people," Eiji agreed.

"Ootori _did _say that after being exposed to his weakness, it's possible for him to be unconscious for a couple of hours or even as long as a day," Inui said. "I suppose we'll just have to wait it out."

"We don't have the time right now," said Kirihara. "Can we go without him?"

"We don't know where Squidbeard's lair is," said Inui. Then he paused. "Why do all the villains in every Universe always have such dumb names that make me feel stupid just saying?"

"Could we try using the super computer?" Taka asked, pointing at the giant super computer.

"We could try that…" Inui said. "Let's see if there's any information on it. If not, I'm afraid we have no options until after Ootori wakes up."

"I still want to know what his weakness is," said Momo.


	18. An Epic Battle

Channel 118- An Epic Battle

When Choutarou woke up, he was still in the Silver Cave but everyone else was missing. He sat up and realized he had a note tapped to his forehead that said; _"Ootori- BRB."_

"What?" Choutarou gasped, slapping his cheeks. "What does this mean? What happened? How long have I been unconscious?"

"About two hours," said Saeki since he was there.

"Who are you?" Choutarou asked, standing up.

"I think we have already explained this," said Saeki, putting his hands on his hips. Yes, the normally mild mannered Saeki is getting rather tired of everybody pointing at him and saying, "Wtf?"

"Oh right," said Choutarou. "You're on Rokkaku, right? I don't really remember that match…did we beat you?"

Saeki only looked at Choutarou with THIS FACE.

"Right, sorry…" said Choutarou. "Where did everyone else go?"

"They went to Squidbeard's lair," Saeki answered. "They told me to stay behind and tell you because they didn't feel like writing a detailed note that explained everything."

"Oh," said Choutarou. "Wait, they went to Squidbeard's lair? Without me?"

"I just said that," said Saeki.

"Why?" Choutarou said.

"Because they wanted to get the counter to go down to thirty-nine by coming in contact with Shishido…or something," Saeki answered. "Because we don't get the mission until we've collected everyone in each Universe, right?"

"I know how the counter works…" Choutarou looked ultra sad. "But they went to rescue Shishido…without me?"

"I don't think they're rescuing Shishido, to be honest," Saeki answered uneasily. "I think they're just trying to get close enough to him so the counter goes down and that's it."

"They're not going to get the mission if we're not all together, though!" said Choutarou.

"Well, you can fly and everything, right?" said Saeki. "Let's just go there now and meet up with them, and that way you can save Shishido!"

"Yeah!" said Choutarou. "Let's go!"

With that, Choutarou flew right up the slide and disappeared, leaving Saeki standing there looking confused.

"Wait…" he started.

However, Choutarou was _far too _focused on rescuing Shishido to even realize that Saeki lacked the ability to fly. Thankfully, he knew the exact location of Squidbeard's lair to save him the trouble of having to search for it. Squidbeard's lair happened to be underwater, as was the entrance, so he dove into the water, swam to the door and punched it open with all his might.

After some crazy high tech depressurization and other various things, the water in that particular room all drained out and Choutarou looked around to find Shishido.

"Oh, hey Ootori," said Eiji as he stood right there and waved. In fact, everyone was there!

"Wow, you got here quick," complimented Taka.

"Have you guys just been standing here the whole time?" Choutarou said as he went over to them.

"No," said Inui. "First we had to hack into the super computer. Then we had to find the high tech submarine in your base. Then we had to figure out how to drive it. Then we had to get here. We got here about five minutes before you did."

"Oh," said Choutarou. "In that case, I'm impressed with how fast you guys got here then."

"In retrospect, it probably would have been easier to just wait for you to wake up," Inui shrugged.

"Speaking of which," said Momo. "What's you're weakness?"

"I'm not telling you!" said Choutarou. "I can't have you using it against me in the future!"

"Why would I ever want to use your ultimate weakness against you?" said Momo.

"I can never be too careful!" said Choutarou.

"Regardless," Inui raised his voice slightly. "We have to find Shishido so we can get the mission."

"Where's Saeki?" inquired Itsuki.

Choutarou slapped his forehead. "I forgot him!" he said.

Everyone gave a heavy and exasperated sigh. But they figured Choutarou should have some leeway, because it's not like they had all made perfectly good decisions recently.

"Let's just work quickly and hopefully reverse the effects of this brainwashing before Shishido starts wreaking havoc," said Atobe.

"And, Ootori, if you won't tell us what your weakness is, could you at least tell us when it is about to be inflicted so we can take the necessary precautions?" Inui requested.

"Well…I guess…" Choutarou said nervously. "Though, I don't know how I could possibly warn you that my weakness is around without you realizing exactly what my weakness is."

"Good!" said Momo.

Suddenly, there was the sound of diabolical laughter. Whence they looked up, they saw Dr. Brain and Squidbeard both standing before them looking diabolical. And diabolical.

"So, you're alive, Silver Man!" said Dr. Brain. "And as tactless as ever!"

"We knew you wouldn't be able to resist coming here personally!" said Squidbeard.

"I've come to get Silver Boy back, and that's it!" said Choutarou. "If you cooperate then maybe I'll go easy on you, though you hardly deserve it for all you have done!"

"Even though I have enough of your weakness here in this backpack to obliterate you completely," Squidbeard started, and everyone leaned over so they could get a glimpse of the backpack and hopefully a clue of what was inside of it. "I this it would be much more entertaining to send the one person you cannot destroy instead!"

Choutarou's eyes widened as Inui's remote beeped. He looked down at it to see that it said '39'.

But it was pretty much a given that it was going to be Shishido anyway. Realistically, who else would it be? Squidbeard and Dr. Brain stepped aside to reveal Shishido standing there with glowing red eyes, and his costume was _black _instead of being silver! Oh noez!

"Shishido!" Choutarou exclaimed.

"He can't hear you now, Silver Man!" cackled Dr. Brain.

"Come on, let's just get back in the sub, go to where Saeki is and then get the mission now," said Kirihara.

Inui shook his head. "Shishido must be there as well, remember?" he pointed out. "We have to either kill Shishido or take him back with us."

Choutarou whipped around and glared at Inui.

"I mean…" Inui said slowly. "We have to take Shishido back with us."

"Kill them now, Silver Boy!" ordered Dr. Brain. "Kill them _all_!"

With that, Shishido pulled his spear out of his utility belt and charged at the group.

"Stay back, everyone!" said Choutarou. "_I'll _take care of this!"

"Okay," said everyone since they didn't have any complaints.

Choutarou turned back to Shishido just in time to grab the spear and stop him in his tracks. Choutarou pushed him back and threw the spear to the ground.

"Although the mere thought of fighting you makes me sick to my stomach, Shishido," Choutarou said. "The thought of you having to do their bidding makes me even sicker! So, even though I'm sure it will hurt me more than it will hurt you, I will do whatever is possible to release you from their grasp!"

"How sentimental!" said Squidbeard as he pulled the backpack off and was just about to open it up and once again expose Choutarou to his ultimate weakness (whatever it may be) when Kirihara whipped out his rope and lassoed the backpack, pulling it away from him.

Choutarou nodded to the group that was just standing there and doing nothing and they gave him the thumbs up.

"Thanks guys!" he said as they all chased after Dr. Brain and Squidbeard as the evil ones retreated into the lair, leaving only the Silver Pair behind.

Shishido pulled a giant sledgehammer out of his utility belt and proceeded to charge at Choutarou again, swinging wildly. Choutarou only jumped up into the air where Shishido could not reach him, but apparently Shishido has gotten some upgrades to his suit because he just turned on his rocket boots and continued the chase.

Choutarou turned around and punched the sledgehammer so it shattered into a trillion pieces.

"I hope you can forgive me, Shishido!" said Choutarou as he went to punch Shishido as well (with much less force of course) but Shishido touched a button on his forearm that made a shield appear.

Since Choutarou had not been prepared for the shield, it sent him right back to the ground. He landed and looked up just in time to roll over and dodge a super diving punch that Shishido was about to bury him with.

Choutarou formed a small ball of energy and hurled it at Shishido, but he deflected it with his shield. He continued to do that rapid fire, but Shishido was able to dodge or deflect every single one.

Pretty soon, Shishido had made his advancement all the way to where Choutarou was standing just as the other group returned with Dr. Brain and Squidbeard in headlocks. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Shishido pressed another button on his forearm, transforming the shield into a sharp looking blade. Choutarou only watched and didn't do anything to dodge as Shishido raised it and then drove it into Choutarou's chest.

The others gasped dramatically as they dropped Dr. Brain and Squidbeard, and Choutarou dropped to the ground.


	19. Drama War

Channel 19- Drama War

"Nice work, Silver Boy!" said Dr. Brain. "You have proved to be quite the worthy investment!"

"Oh no…what are we going to do now?" said Eiji, looking at the others.

But then they looked over at Shishido to see he was holding up his hand with the blade on it to see that it was all bent and there was no blood.

"Did everyone forget that I'm impervious?" Choutarou said from the ground as he grabbed Shishido's ankles, lifted him right up off the ground and then threw him at the wall.

"Yay!" cheered everyone as they leapt up into the air and then restrained Squidbeard and Dr. Brain again.

Shishido pulled himself out of the imprint in the wall and pressed the button on his forearm to discover that it was malfunctioning. As he tried to fiddle with it some more, Choutarou seized his opportunity to charge forward again and punch him to the ground.

He skidded across to the other side of the room and came to a stop. He didn't move after that.

"Nice job Ootori," said Oshitari. "Is it okay to kill these two?"

Choutarou turned around and looked triumphant as a flag waved behind him. "No!" he said. "Despite all of the evil deeds they have committed, it is still only right that these two have a fair trial and are brought to justice!"

"Bless your kind heart!" said Dr. Brain.

Oshitari and Atobe looked at each other skeptically.

"Forget that," said Oshitari as he shot Dr. Brain and Squidbeard one right after the other.

"Hey!" said Choutarou as the flag faded away and he didn't look as triumphant.

Choutarou didn't have the opportunity to lecture them, however, because Shishido began to move again from the other side of the room. Choutarou immediately went over as Shishido sat up and put a hand on his head, shaking it.

"Shishido?" Choutarou said.

"What's going on…?" said Shishido as he looked up and his eyes had returned to normal. "Where am I? What's going on?"

"Shishido!" said Choutarou as he picked up Shishido and spun him around happily. "You're back to normal!"

"Back to normal?" Shishido said as he pushed Choutarou away. "What the hell is going on? Where are we? What…" he looked down at himself. "What am I wearing? Are we back in that annoying Superhero Universe?"

"Yeah," said Choutarou. "And so much has happened. Dr. Brain and Squidbeard kidnapped you and then brainwashed you and you were evil and we just had an epic battle, and then Atobe and Oshitari killed Dr. Brain and Squidbeard!"

Shishido leaned over and saw the group of people standing over there, and then frowned.

"We fought?" he said finally as he put his hand on his face. "That must be why I feel like I fell off a building."

"I'm so happy you're all better though," said Choutarou. "You know, Shishido, if not for the fact that I'm impervious, you would have—"

Choutarou paused a moment. This fact had never occurred to him.

"I would have what?" Shishido asked.

Choutarou looked a little perplexed. "You would have…killed me," he said finally.

"Good thing you _are _impervious then," said Shishido since he didn't happen to see how dramatic this problem was. "I don't remember anything about what I've done!"

Choutarou had kind of hoped that Shishido would have a revelation right before he attempted to kill him, despite being brainwashed. In fact, not even a single silent tear rolled down his cheek after he assumed Choutarou was dead! And that was just…shocking!

"I need to think about this…" Choutarou said.

"Think about what?" said Shishido.

To him, this was no big deal. But, to Choutarou, this was a huge deal. Choutarou dove under the water and disappeared off in the distance, leaving everyone else to stand by and wonder what was going on.

"Was it something I did?" Shishido said to the others.

"Let's just head back to your hideout," said Inui. "We'll meet up with Saeki there and hope Ootori comes back soon so we can get the mission."

Shishido groaned. "You guys haven't even gotten the mission yet?" he said. "And who is Saeki? And you?" He pointed at Itsuki.

"Why doesn't anyone ever remember Rokkaku?" Itsuki said sadly.

With Shishido's help, they piloted the submarine back to the Silver Cave where they found Saeki failing at trying to climb back up the slide so he could get out.

"And _then _he just took out without taking me with him!" said Saeki, sounding appalled.

"And if not for that, we would have the mission right now," Inui sighed.

"See what I mean?" said Oshitari to Atobe. "These two are more trouble than they're worth."

"I take enough offense to than to make up for the fact that Choutarou's not here to take offense to that too!" said Shishido.

"If he wasn't off angsting about something only he knows about, we could be on our way out of here," said Oshitari.

"How dare you belittle Choutarou's suffering!" said Shishido. "I'm sure whatever he's upset about is perfectly legitimate!"

"Are you sure you're not just biased?" Oshitari raised an eyebrow.

"Your _mom _is biased!" said Shishido, turning around and crossing his arms.

Oshitari's eyes narrowed. He reached forward to perform some long overdue neck snapping, but everyone jumped him to keep him from doing it, because they knew that if Choutarou came back and found Shishido dead, there would be hell to pay.

"Does Ootori have specific places he goes or things he does when he's feeling upset?" Taka asked productively.

"No…" said Shishido. "There's never really been the need."

"Is there a way to track him by using the supercomputer?" Inui questioned.

"Maybe!" said Shishido. He went over to the supercomputer and sat down. Immediately, he turned around and stared everyone down. "All right, fess up. Who used my supercomputer?"

"How can you tell someone used it?" Kirihara said.

"Because my chair is on a different level than it usually is!" said Shishido as he adjusted his chair so it was higher up. "Someone much taller than me used this…"

"That could be _anyone_!" said Momo, slapping his knee.

"I'm taller than _you_!" Shishido snapped.

"Oh yeah…" Momo deflated with unhappiness.

Shishido pressed a few buttons on his supercomputer and brought up a map. He pressed some more buttons but then shook his head.

"Choutarou must have put up some kind of force field so we wouldn't be able to find him because his location isn't coming up," Shishido said. "This is so strange! I've never seen him like that before. I hope it's not anything _I _did."

Everyone coughed slightly, because it was pretty obvious it was something Shishido had done.

"Stop coughing!" Shishido ordered. "If you have something to say, then say it! Don't start coughing!"

"We're coughing because we established it was obvious it was something you did that upset him," Inui said. "After all, you were fighting and you tried to kill him without having any sort of internal battle whatsoever."

"But…" Shishido started. "I didn't know what was going on! I wasn't myself back there! He knows that!"

"Still," said Inui. "If not for the fact that Ootori is impervious, he would be dead right now."

"By my hands?" Shishido said in the most over dramatic fashion ever.

"Yes," said Inui, matching Shishido's drama. "It was all your doing."

"What have I done?" Shishido said, slightly conscious of the fact that he was now in a competition with Inui over who is being more dramatic.

"You have betrayed the one who trusts you the most," said Inui since he wasn't going to be outdone by _anyone_.

"Why do I have to do to make this right again?" Shishido said, getting _really _into it as he dropped to his knees and shook his fists at the heavens.

Inui paused a moment. He couldn't think of anything more dramatic to say in response. Once you get to your knees and start shaking your fists at the heavens, you pretty much win. And he was fully aware that Shishido had pulled the trump card out too early because he saw what a formidable opponent Inui was. In fact, the only thing that would beat Shishido's gesture would be if Inui were to start to cry. But it's pretty obvious that was never going to happen. So he only sighed and looked defeated.

"Ootori will be back eventually," said Eiji, putting his hand on Shishido's shoulder.

"Don't touch me," Shishido said, knocking Eiji's hand aside.

Eiji cradled his hand even though it didn't hurt. His lip quivered as tears formed in his eyes.

"All I ever did was care!" Eiji exclaimed and then he ran away crying.

"Damn it, he beat me," said Shishido with a frown as he watched Eiji flea.


	20. Secret Word

Channel 120- Secret Word

No one can angst like superheroes can. In fact, the only people who can probably match them in their angstiness are middle school boys who play doubles tennis. Now, imagine if a middle school boy who plays doubles tennis _also _happened to be a superhero. You've got one angsty individual.

Choutarou was lamenting his recent troubles while sitting atop the highest building in Metrothum. He could have gone to the tallest mountain in the world, but he was seeking redemption in his city and wanted to alleviate some stress by bringing some bad guys to justice. Not many crimes are committed atop the highest mountain in the world.

It was probably one of the most dramatic sights in the world. It had, of course, begun to rain and become nighttime as Choutarou sat on the edge of the building with his legs swinging in that famous "Thinker" position.

I _would _say he was there for forty days and forty nights, but fortunately, within only forty minutes, he heard some kind of commotion with his super hearing. It certainly wasn't coming from the streets of Metrothum; it was coming from his own apartment.

And, as it turns out, Choutarou's apartment was in the tallest building in Metrothum so all Choutarou had to do was jump off the edge of the building and float down to where his window was. He flew inside the window and went down the clock slide into the secret hideout, because that's where the commotion was coming from.

And what he saw certainly surprised him. Dr. Brain and Squidbeard were laughing diabolically in the middle of the room, while all of Choutarou's companions were cowering in the corner, with the exception of Shishido who was standing with his nemeses, his eyes aglow once more.

"What's the meaning of this?" demanded Choutarou.

"You only killed our _clones_!" said Dr. Brain. "I figured something like that might happen and I planned this all along! Now we will destroy you because we have the right leverage!"

"But how can this be?" Choutarou said. "We reversed the effects of the brainwashing!"

"Even though it is in no way beneficial for us to explain this you, there is a secret codeword that activates and deactivates our handiwork!" said Squidbeard.

"Impossible!" Choutarou exclaimed.

Fighting Shishido the first time around was painful enough for Choutarou and he definitely didn't want to have to do it again.

"Good news," Inui announced, holding up the remote. "We are getting the mission."

"What is it?" cheered Eiji.

Inui looked at the screen and then lowered his head in such a way that suggested mourning. Everyone leaned in and looked over his shoulder to see the screen as well. All those who were wearing a hat removed it and looked remorseful.

"What?" said Choutarou. "What is it?"

No one answered.

"Don't tell me…" Choutarou started.

"Kill them all!" Dr. Brain ordered. "Start with them over there, and maybe then Silver Man will lose the will to fight!"

Shishido pulled a massive katana out of his utility belt and began to advance towards where everyone was standing in a big group that was easy to target. They scattered like roaches under the light as Choutarou decided to be proactive about the situation and use his super speed to once again come in between Shishido and all of their tennis playing compadres.

"I won't let you do this, Shishido!" said Choutarou. "I'll figure out what the codeword is!"

"Not likely, Silver Man!" cackled Dr. Brain.

"Quick," Inui turned to everyone who was standing near him, which happened to be Seigaku. Even when they're running away in peril, they have the tendency of segregating themselves according to their teams.

"Aw…" said Kirihara as he stood by himself.

"Quick," Inui repeated to Taka, Momo and Eiji. "What exactly was said before Shishido turned back to normal last time?"

"How are we supposed to remember exactly what was said?" demanded Momo.

"Yeah!" Taka agreed. "No one has a memory that good! Not even _you _can remember _exactly _what we said!"

As much as Inui hated to admit it, Taka was right.

"Wait, you can!" Choutarou shouted, still holding Shishido at bay. "Have a flashback!"

"Perfect," said Inui. "A flashback. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Yeah, Inui, why _didn't_ you think of that?" said Momo, putting his hands on his hips.

"Shut up," said Inui. "Now let's see…"

The screen started to shimmer but Squidbeard came out of nowhere to throw a punch, causing the screen to come clear again. Taka thankfully deflected the blow just in time.

"Sorry, but we won't give you the time to have a flashback!" Squidbeard declared.

"That's right!" said Dr. Brain as he zipped around on his unmanly hovercraft. He certainly has a lot of them. "We will be your opponents so you will be unable to have a flashback!"

"I'll hold off Shishido!" said Choutarou. "You guys get enough time to have a flashback and figure out the codeword!"

"Let's create a wall around one person," Kirihara said as he ran over to Seigaku. "We'll protect that person as he has his flashback!"

"Who?" said Atobe as he dodged Dr. Brain flying by his head in his hovercraft.

"Someone who can think quickly and probably has absolutely no fighting abilities whatsoever," Inui said. "But not Saeki because he wasn't there."

"Hey!" said Saeki. But then he realized it was sort of halfway a compliment. "Um…maybe."

Everyone looked at Eiji.

"Yay!" Eiji cheered.

They formed a circle around him as he sat in the middle and thought his hardest. The screen started to shimmer, and even though Dr. Brain and Squidbeard tried their hardest, they could not penetrate the human shield that was before them.

Success! Eiji was having his flashback!

_"Nice job Ootori. Is it okay to kill these two?"_

_"No! Despite all of the evil deeds they have committed, it is still only right that these two have a fair trial and are brought to justice!"_

_"Bless your kind heart!"_

_"Forget that."_

_"Hey!"_

The screen returned to normal and Eiji looked up. "It can be any of those words!" he said.

"Why did you _tell _them that there was a secret code involved?" said Dr. Brain, looking at Squidbeard with an annoyed expression.

"Hey, if I hadn't done it, you know you would have," Squidbeard pointed out.

They looked at Choutarou and Shishido who were no longer engaged in their second epic battle.

"Why do I keep losing chunks of time?" Shishido said, putting his hand on his head and falling to his knees.

"Shishido, there's a secret word that turns you evil!" said Choutarou as he ran over to Shishido and covered his ears. "So don't listen to anything!"

"Uh…okay…" said Shishido somewhat nervously as he covered his own ears.

"You know," said Oshitari to Atobe. "This whole human shield thing was a good idea, I think."

"Yeah, it was," Atobe said.

"But we could have just shot them both," Oshitari pointed.

"Oh right," said Atobe with a nod.

And, almost as if they had planned it this way, they whipped their guns out and fired several times as Dr. Brain and Squidbeard until they were quite sure they were dead.

"Wait!" said Choutarou. "Now we'll never know what the secret word is!"

"It doesn't matter," Inui said. "When we change Universes, everything will reset."

"Now let's complete that mission," said someone. He disguised his voice because he didn't want to be the one who said it and get slapped by Choutarou.

"What's…the mission?" Choutarou said.

Inui held up the remote.

"Defeat Shishido," he said.

"But…we already did," Choutarou said.

"I think the mission means we have to kill him," said Momo since he always jumps to that conclusion.

Shishido walked over with his ears still covered. He slowly lowered his arms because he was pretty sure everyone was talking about him.

"What is it?" he said finally.

"I don't know what to do, Shishido!" said Choutarou. "Our mission is to… is to…"

"We have to kill you," said Atobe, which was immediately followed up with Choutarou lamenting quite loudly and animatedly.

"Well…" Shishido said reasonably. "It's still only fake deaths…right?"

"Of course," said Inui.

"But Shishido!" said Choutarou. "It's not fair because you're not evil anymore so we shouldn't have to kill you!"

"It doesn't really matter, Choutarou," said Shishido. "I'm going to come back to life very soon anyway."

"Besides, we've had to kill people before in order to get to the next Universe!" said Kirihara. "Remember Renji?"

"I guess…" Choutarou said. "But I still don't think it's fair!"

"This whole situation isn't particularly fair," said Shishido.

"Let's just do this before someone accidentally says the secret word that makes Shishido turn evil," Taka suggested.

"Okay," said everyone as they stared at Shishido.

"Why are you all staring at me?" Shishido said with a raised eyebrow.

"Because we have to kill you, and we don't have Jirou here to bully into doing it for us," Oshitari said.

"Oh," said Shishido, crossing his arms. "Well, someone get the guts to kill me."

"I _would_, trust me," said Atobe. "But my gun would probably end up killing everyone else before it killed you."

"Thanks for thinking about me!" said Kirihara as he dabbed his eyes with a hanky.

"Let's kill him in a quick, painless sort of way so he won't have to suffer!" said Choutarou.

"Well obviously," said Shishido. "The last thing I want is for you guys to think up a slow and painful way that will cause as much suffering as possible."

No one moved at first.

"Oh very well, _I'll _do it," said Inui as he pulled his gun out.

"Wait!" Choutarou said. Inui's eye twitched. But it was the one under the patch so luckily Choutarou didn't see. "I just…" Choutarou turned around, closed his eyes and blocked his ears.

Shishido was just about to say something along the lines of, "It's all right, Choutarou!" but he was promptly silenced by Inui's weapon, which happened to practically rocket him across the room.

"Well, that was liberating," said Inui as he put the gun back at his belt.

"I hate missions like this," said Eiji with a massive frown.

Inui lifted the remote just as they were all surrounded by white light. Thankfully, they were permitted to leave the Universe quickly.

When they reappeared, they found they were in the middle of another city. But this city was somehow strange in an indescribable way.

"Is it over?" Choutarou turned around.

Shishido sat up. "That wasn't painless at all," he said.

"I'm so glad we don't have to worry about Shishido randomly turning evil anymore," said Saeki.

"Yes, but unfortunately for us, this is a brand new Universe," Inui said as if that had anything to do with what Saeki said. But Inui does whatever he wants when it comes to talking and explaining, doesn't he?

"Yeah, I was just noticing that," said Kirihara. "What's the protocol?"

"Well, it's just the same as when we were doing this the first time around," Inui sighed. "We wander around aimlessly and hope to randomly encounter people we know. It has been approximately eight days since the original scatter, so we can only assume that although these people have never previously been to this Universe have since assimilated to it."

"Great," said Momo.

"I recommend splitting up," Inui shrugged. No one had any better ideas, so they immediately formed groups based on their teams, except Kirihara joined Rokkaku of course because it would be silly for him to be alone. Oh dear.


	21. SCUBBU

Channel 121- SCUBBU

Hyoutei and Seigaku returned to the meeting spot at the correct time. They stood around and waited for Rikkai Dai and Rokkaku.

"While we're waiting," said Inui. "Let's discuss what we have learned."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to wait for the others to return so we don't have to explain it twice?" Atobe said.

"That's true," said Inui. "We'll wait, then."

So they sat around in silence.

"Never mind," said Atobe. "It's their loss. Did you guys get the seriously creepy vibe from the general population of this place like we did?"

"Yeah!" said Taka. "All the people seemed to be acting really strange."

"Everyone seems to be trapped in some sort of impenetrable bubble of despair," Oshitari said.

"Wow, that's a unique way of looking at it," Shishido commented.

"I'm a unique guy," Oshitari said, and you know he was proud of it.

"Specific things I noticed…" Inui took out a pad of paper. "I assume this world is set some time in the future because there technology is stirringly different from that of any other cities we have visited."

"But we're not in Future Universe," Eiji said.

"Yeah, maybe it's just High Technology Universe!" said Choutarou. "It's not like there were any calendars around to confirm the date."

"Perhaps," Inui said, looking back at his paper. "The government is also corrupt. The inhabitants of this city are living in fear. And," He looked up from his notes. "It is surrounded by a strange wall."

"A strange wall?" Hyoutei repeated.

"We walked to the edge of the city and there was some kind of weird silver wall that went on forever in both directions," Momo explained. "It was really weird."

"Maybe they're trying to keep something out," Atobe suggested.

"Or in," Inui mused.

"Strange…Creepy…Unsettling…Big Brother Universe!" Eiji announced. "SCUBBU!" He chuckled at sound of the acronym.

"Now, now," said Inui. "Before we start naming the Universe something so outrageous like 'Scubbu,' let's try to find out exactly what it is."

"Where are the others?" said Oshitari, looking annoyed. "We never should have let the newcomers go off with Kirihara. That was just a disaster waiting to happen and whoever thought of the idea is stupid."

Everyone agreed, but at the same time no one would admit who had thought of it.

Meanwhile, Saeki, Itsuki and Kirihara were wandering around aimlessly since they had completely lost track of time, and even if they hadn't lost track of time, they probably lost their way. Maybe it's a mixture of both.

Somehow, they found their way into the middle of the city where there was a giant building with a screen on it like a beacon of light. Except there was no light because it was off. So a beacon of potential light.

"Hm…" said Kirihara thoughtfully. Then he looked to his newfound misfit friends. "Any ideas?"

"I don't know," Saeki admitted. "What are we thinking up ideas for?"

"Of what this Universe could possibly be!" said Kirihara. "And last time, we discovered that we were all in certain Universes for a reason, so maybe we could also try guessing who is here!"

"Hmm…" Saeki pondered. "A strange somewhat futuristic appearing city with weird walls up and down the side of it, and a rooftop…" He looked up. "The grass is fake, but the trees are real."

"How did you notice that?" Itsuki asked.

"Just by looking at it," Saeki answered, looking down. "I mean, it looks way too green to be real."

"Maybe it's just well taken care of…" Kirihara suggested as he closely examined the grass.

They all shrugged and basically decided that whether the grass was real or fake was irrelevant, especially when Itsuki spotted a building with a strange sign in front of it.

"Shuttles to Earth?" Itsuki read.

"Now that's something I've never seen before," Kirihara noted. "Are we not on Earth or something?"

"I don't know," Saeki put his hands on his hips. "The fact that there are shuttles to Earth certainly implies that we are not on it right now."

"Are we on the moon?" Itsuki questioned.

"I don't know," Saeki repeated.

"Are we floating around in outer space…?" Kirihara said mostly to himself.

But Saeki interpreted it as a question directed towards him. "I don't know!" he said, sounding frustrated.

"Take a chill pill, geez," said Kirihara. "Besides, if we were in outer space or on the moon, wouldn't we be floating around like morons?"

"Maybe they have some kind of antigravity thing," Saeki suggested after getting the cool back.

"That would make sense, considering this is a city and there are people walking around as if it's totally normal," Kirihara said. "But everyone _is _slowing down at looking at this building with really strange expressions! So maybe we're not the only one who thinks it's weird!"

"I don't think the strange expressions are directed towards the building," Saeki said. "I think they're all looking at you."

"What?" said Kirihara. "Why would they be looking at _me _especially with those expressions?"

"Because you're dressed as a cowboy and totting a horse around," Saeki pointed out.

Kirihara looked down at himself. "Oh right," he said. "I should probably change."

"Yeah, probably," Saeki nodded.

"Hey, what time is it?" Itsuki asked.

Saeki checked his watch. "Oh no," he said. "We're way past the meeting time! Where were we supposed to be?"

"I forget…" said Kirihara, pointing in two random directions.

"Let's retrace our steps," Saeki said.

They hurried back and the group waiting for them didn't even have any chance to be angry, because the late group managed to report what they had seen about the shuttles to Earth!

"Shuttles to Earth?" said Choutarou. "Are we not on Earth now?"

"That is a definite possibility," Inui noted, looking around at all the abnormalities of the area.

"So should we take one of the shuttles to Earth?" Itsuki asked.

"No," said Inui. "That would be a poor decision. Usually we appear in the general vicinity of the person or people we are trying to locate in a certain Universe. It is likely the person or people we are looking for are here…wherever this place is."

"Since this is the future, do you think they'll have some kind of Big Brother system we can look up names in?" Oshitari said.

"Hm…" Inui said thoughtfully. "You may be on to something there. Let's go find out if such a thing exists."

As it turned out, such a thing did exist. In the form of a phonebook.

"These things certainly come in handy," Taka commented.

"But we don't even know who we're looking for," Momo said, sounding exasperated.

"True," Inui said. "But we know who we're _not _looking for, and that certainly narrows it down. We'll simply search for all the names of people who we have not previously encountered in other Universes."

So they made a list, then arranged it alphabetically. After exploring the phone book thoroughly, they emerged completely and entirely empty handed. Not a single name from their list appeared in the book. They strained their brains for anyone else who might be involved, and even checked random people from Yamabuki and Fudomine that no one cares about, but still they were unsuccessful.

"So much for that," said Eiji with an exasperated sigh. "We just wasted a half an hour of our lives! I hope everyone's happy!"

"Why would we be happy about something like that?" Kirihara said, looking sort of annoyed.

"There must be more thorough records elsewhere," Inui said, clutching the list in his hand. "A least one of these people has to be here."

"Maybe we should wait for them to find us," said Shishido.

"If only we had something of theirs so that Ootori could use his tracking power," Atobe said.

"Sorry…" Choutarou said.

"Of course," Inui snapped his fingers. "There must be plenty of _other _powers you could use to help us solve this problem. Aren't there?"

"Uh…" Choutarou thought hard. "I don't know…"

He looked at Shishido for help.

"You could probably…" Shishido started, but then he frowned. "I don't know, probably not. I don't know if it's worth the risk, do you?"

"Yeah…sort of…" Choutarou said.

"What is?" said Oshitari. "We'll be the ones who decide whether it's worth the risk or not."

"Well," Shishido began. "If Choutarou had enough power, then he can tune into every person's thoughts and distinguish where they are at any given time." Shishido shrugged. "He might be able to find someone who has memories of our original Universe."

"All right…and how is that dangerous?" Inui asked.

"Well, it drains most of my strength," Choutarou answered. "And I've only done it once before. Besides, if I'm interrupted in the process, I could not only scramble my own brain but also the brains of everyone who I'm connected to at the time!"

"That is a really serious risk," Eiji said.

"It is," said Oshitari. "But we're willing to take it."

"I don't think it's right!" Eiji interrupted before anyone else could.

"It's really dangerous," Choutarou said passively.

"Besides, we haven't exhausted all of our other options yet!" Shishido added.

"We checked the phonebook and we searched the area," Atobe said. "What else would you suggest we do?"

"I don't think it's worth risking Choutarou's memories and the minds of other people as well!" Shishido said.

"Well, if it will only affect his memory, I don't see how that will be a problem," Inui said. "Besides, we'll be changing Universes soon enough so everything will return to normal."

"But I thought we made a pact to try to avoid screwing up the lives of innocent people as much as possible!" Taka said.

"Why are we all assuming that everything will go as bad as possible?" said Kirihara. "How about a little faith!"

"I never thought you'd be the one to support me," Choutarou said to Kirihara.

And Shishido got jealous. "It's not that I'm not supporting you, Choutarou!" he said adamantly. "I'm just worried about your safety, that's all!"

"And I appreciate that," Choutarou said. "But I really think I can do it. And I'm sure there are other ways we could go about searching for whoever we're searching for, but do we really want to spend so much time doing something that I could do right now? Besides, Inui's right. If anything does go wrong, then it'll all be better once we get to the next Universe."

Shishido clenched his fist dramatically. "You're right, Choutarou," he said. "I should have seen it that way in the first place."

"It's all right, Shishido," said Choutarou.

"So are we agreed?" Atobe said. "That's what we're going to do?"

"Yes," Choutarou nodded. "It's a pretty long and complicated process, though. I need to be someplace secure where no one will interrupt me for at least an hour."

"Um…" the others looked at each other, and commenced the first stage of this operation.


	22. A Gundam

Channel 122- A Gundam

Even though it went against many people's morals, they invaded a house, tied up all the inhabitants and locked them in the closet. But the sad thing was that everyone knew they would lose no sleep over it.

They wanted to be even more positive about their precautions so they instructed Choutarou to go into the basement while they guarded the door. He disappeared, and they all prepared themselves to wait around… some more.

"Hey, Shishido," said Momo since he was bored after an elapsed time of about seven minutes. "I was just wondering…what was that secret word that made you evil?"

Shishido looked at Momo with an annoyed expression. "How am I supposed to know?" he said. "I don't even remember what I did."

"You two have never really been particularly honest about what you do know and what you don't know," Atobe said since he wanted to know as well. "I mean, you won't even tell us what Ootori's weakness is."

"I'm not lying to you and saying that I don't know what Choutarou's weakness is," Shishido said. "I just see no benefit in everyone knowing what it is."

"Well, if we knew, then we'd be able to consciously avoid it," Inui pointed out since he also was curious. In fact, everyone was curious.

"It hardly came into play last time, so I don't know why it matters," said Shishido, crossing his arms.

"All we're saying is—"

"I know what you're saying!" Shishido said angrily. "And I don't think it matters!"

Everyone leapt upon him to cover his mouth.

"Shhhh…" they said, pointing at the basement door as they backed away from him.

"Right…" Shishido said, looking ashamed.

"Oh, by the way, Shishido," said Oshitari. "Do you think we can go a few days without you getting kidnapped this time around? It is quite annoying."

"I think you're all exaggerating," said Shishido. "Last time I got kidnapped like… once. And you're all acting like I got kidnapped a thousand times."

"Well, let's examine that statement," said Inui. "You got kidnapped in the Superhero Universe by Dr. Brain…"

"Then when we went to the Harry Potter Universe, you got kidnapped and murdered, almost jeopardizing our chances of getting out there in a timely manner," Kirihara continued.

"Oh dear," said Saeki, shaking his head disappointedly.

"You got kidnapped in the Band Universe," Atobe said.

"No I didn't," said Shishido. "You only _thought _I did and forced me to have an escort whenever I had to go to the bathroom after that."

"Oh right," said Atobe. "I'll give you that one."

"But there was that time in the Model Universe where you got kidnapped and brainwashed and then killed like seven people," said Eiji.

"I only killed four people," Shishido said.

"No way, it was more than that," said Taka.

"Oishi, Yukimura, Shinji and Atsushi," Shishido counted on his fingers. "That's it."

"Yes, but you indirectly were responsible for several deaths that followed," said Inui. "Because Fuji killed you to keep you from killing Yuuta, whom you _would _have killed had he not intervened, and then Ootori killed Fuji for killing you, and then Fuji killed Ootori for killing him."

"How did Fuji kill Ootori after he was already killed?" said Itsuki.

"He's Fuji," said Taka. "He found a way."

"Oh," said Itsuki.

"So there, you see?" said Eiji. "Seven."

"Whatever," said Shishido.

"And you also got kidnapped in the Jungle Universe," said Oshitari.

"I told you guys never _ever _to bring that up!" said Shishido angrily.

"What happened?" said Saeki eagerly.

"Nothing!" said Shishido.

"We think he was raped, but he doesn't like talking about it," Oshitari said.

"I was not raped!" said Shishido. "Or molested! Or anything! Just almost sacrificed to a volcano, that's all!"

"Oh," said Saeki, looking a little disappointed _again_.

They were just about to continue taking Shishido's lunch money when they suddenly felt a mighty rumble. Instead of doing anything intelligent, they just looked at each other with confused expressions as they felt another mighty rumble. Perplexed and confused, they sensed it was coming from outside so they darted out the front door.

That's when they saw an ultimately strange sight. There was a gigantic lumbering metal suit that looked vaguely man-ish stomping around and shooting other machines that had similar appearances.

"Big…Robot…Battle Universe!" Eiji said. "BRB Universe! All right!"

"Relax, Eiji," said Inui as if he was speaking to a child.

"How can I relax when there's a big robot stomping around and destroying other robots?" Eiji exclaimed. "I wish I was part of _this _Universe!"

"We have a situation on our hands," said Inui. "Shishido, could this robot battle be damaging to Ootori's concentration?"

"At this distance, it should be all right," said Shishido. "As long as it doesn't get much closer."

Just then, a random old man walked up to them. "I never thought I'd live to see a _Gundam_!" he said.

"A what?" said everyone with raised eyebrows.

"You young fellows don't know what a Gundam is?" gasped the old man. "Let me explain it to you in great detail amidst this chaos despite my fatal wounds!"

"Fatal wounds?" questioned Taka.

"Yes," said the old man. "Can't you see how fatally wounded I am?"

"No…" said everyone.

"I was shot in chest right here," said the man as he pulled his jacket to the side and pointed at his chest.

"You're not bleeding at all," said Saeki.

"I know," said the man. "But I likely will still die."

Everyone looked at each other. "All right…" said Inui. "That's…nice. How about you explain things to us now?"

"With high hopes, humans left Earth to begin a new life in the space colonies," said the old man. "But the United Earth Sphere Alliance gained military power and in the name of justice and peace, they seize control of one colony after another. To counter the Alliance's tyranny, rebel colonists bring new arsenals to the Earth, disguising them as shooting stars. But Alliance Headquarters caught onto the operation. Thus…"

He gestured to the giant suits fighting.

"You just explained nothing," Inui said.

"Gundams are those big mobile suits!" said the old man. "There are pilots inside fighting against the tyrannical government who are taking over the colonies!"

"So…the big suit is the good guy… and the other suits are the bad guys," Eiji reasoned in very black and white terms.

"Pretty much," said the man, as he clutched his fatal wound and then died.

"So we're in a space colony," Inui told the group without even reacting to the man's death.

"Can we really trust what he said?" said Kirihara. "I mean, he said he had a wound, but he obviously doesn't. Maybe he made up all that other stuff too."

"Well—" Inui started, but a large explosion suddenly knocked them all onto their arses. They looked up to see a big circular ball of light in the air. In fact, there were several balls of light in this form exploding all over the city.

"This battle is starting to get intense," said Shishido. "Any more disturbances like that, and I'm really going to get worried about Choutarou!"

"Is there anyway we could stop the fighting?" Eiji asked.

"I don't see how," said Inui. "None of us have a big enough influence to even get noticed by the pilots in the suits. We would probably be annihilated if we got close."

"Well, it looks like they're moving in the other direction anyway," Oshitari noticed.

"Attention Gundam Pilot!" came a voice from the heavens, but they quickly realized it was not God, but just an intercom system installed throughout the colony.

All the fighting stopped immediately as they waited and listened.

"If you do not stop this meaningless battle, then we will have no choice other than to detonate this entire colony!" the voice said.

"Ohhh no…" said Momo.

Everyone threw their arms up in the air and ran around in circles while screaming pathetically, but they luckily heard another announcement.

"We knew you'd see it our way!" said the voice on the intercom. "Take the pilot prisoner!"

And then the intercom turned off. Everyone gave a sigh of relief and tried to convince one another that they weren't worried in the least bit.

"Well, that was a little too much excitement, I think," said Saeki.

"That worked out nicely," said Eiji. "Not only did the fighting stop, but now we don't have to worry about the commotion breaking Ootori's concentration!"

"Speaking of which," Shishido said, looking at his watch. "I think he should almost be done with the process. Let's go check on him, okay?"

"OKAY!" said everyone, including Shishido.

They ran back in the house and waited outside the basement for a few minutes. After some time, the door finally opened and Choutarou was standing there. Everyone was glad that his brain wasn't scrambled like they had been anticipating it might have been.

"I broke it off early," Choutarou admitted. "I could feel some kind of battle going on, so I stopped the process."

"What?" demanded everyone.

"But I do know a little bit," Choutarou assured them. "There are two of them. I got a location of one of them, and I figured that would be enough since they're probably together or the one knows the location of the other."

"Who was it?" Inui asked.

"I'm not sure," Choutarou shook his head.

"Okay, where's he at?" said Momo.

"In this city," Choutarou said. "And he was inside some kind of… massive fighting mechanism. I'm not exactly sure what it was, but there was a battle going on. Then, all at once… it stopped."

The others looked at each other.

"Do you think he was the one in that massive robot suit?" Atobe speculated.

"That's a definite possibility," Inui said. "We have to find out where the pilot was taken. I don't get the vibe that whoever captured him is going to keep him alive long."


	23. 01

Channel 123- 01

Sometimes chapter breaks are used to build suspense because you don't know what is going to happen next. (See Chapter Break 20-21.) Some chapter breaks are used in order to make a reader _gasp _and simply have to read the next chapter in order to see the conclusion to the dramatic action that happened at the very end of the chapter. (See Chapter Break 18-19.)

However, some chapter breaks are used mostly to show that some time as gone by and now everyone is in a new situation without having to explain exactly how the characters got into the new situation. (See Chapter Break 22-23.)

"How long is it going to take you to hack into the database?" Choutarou said quietly to Inui as the two of them and Oshitari stood in a large high tech looking room. Inui was sitting at the computer typing away.

"Faster if you would just stop talking," Inui said, focusing on his work.

"I still don't see why I had to come along," sighed Oshitari.

"At this point, it just feels like you belong in the situation all the time," Inui confessed.

"Well, waiting until nine o'clock at night, which happens to be the only time Ootori can use his teleportation power, was a good idea and all…" Oshitari hummed to himself but loud enough for the others to hear. "But what if they've already executed this guy we're looking for?"

"You know, Oshitari," Inui said, turning around in his chair. "I distinctly remember you not being particularly forthcoming about that great plan you apparently had all along."

Oshitari glared, but Choutarou decided to get in the middle. "Let's just let Inui concentrate so we can find this guy, okay?" he suggested.

"Fine," said Oshitari, crossing his arms and scoffing.

Inui shook his head and turned back to the computer. He continued hacking away as the other two stood idly by, and then the computer made a happy cheering sound.

"Found it," he said. "The prison cells are two floors down."

"Do we know he's there?" Oshitari said.

"Where else would he be?" Inui retorted.

"Well fought," Oshitari nodded.

"Could you teleport us?" Inui asked Choutarou.

"No, it's 10:05," Choutarou said, looking at his watch.

"It's all right, we can walk," said Oshitari. "It's only two floors. Not that big of a deal."

"I'm not concerned about the walking," Inui said. "I am concerned about the soldiers standing in the hallway who might ambush us if they saw us walking around in their base. I guess the two of you wouldn't have to worry about that, what with being immortal and or completely impervious."

"No, we _don't _have to worry about it," said Oshitari.

"Is it the first week of the month…?" Choutarou asked.

"I believe so," Inui replied.

"I can make force fields during the first week of the month," Choutarou said.

Inui and Oshitari just sort of stared at Choutarou for a few seconds. They were just about to tell him that his limitations were ridiculous, but then they realized that this time it was going to work in their favor. Of course, it wouldn't work two weeks from now when they were going to need a force field again, but they were willing to take what they could get from Choutarou's unlimited arsenal of powers.

So they opened the door and poked their heads out.

"Let's do this quickly and get back to where everyone else is waiting," Oshitari said.

They took a deep breath and unrolled the map of the base that Inui accumulated during the chapter break. "If we go down the hallway, take a left and then open the third door on the left, that should be the stairwell," Inui said. "It's not that far. There is a chance we may not even encounter any soldiers."

"But we'll probably encounter some when we get to the prison block," Oshitari said.

"Well, that's when the two of you can fight them while I hide like a coward," Inui declared.

"That's a fool proof plan," Choutarou remarked.

So they frolicked off to where Inui directed them to. Yes, despite the fact that they're trying to be covert, they frolicked.

"Hey!" yelled a random soldier as he walked with his two soldier pals and just so happened to spot our frolicking friends. The three of them looked exactly the same, they just had differently styled and colored hair. The trio raised their guns at the heroes and warned them not to move.

Choutarou put his hands out to raise the force field but nothing happened.

"Oh right," he said. "I forgot to mention that my force fields don't work at night!"

"That would have been a good thing to mention," Inui slapped his forehead.

"No problem," said Oshitari as he stepped forward, pulled out his gun and shot three times.

All of the soldiers cried out and fell to the floor in a heap.

"Darn you!" said one of the soldiers as he reached out and then collapsed.

"Aries!" exclaimed another.

The three tennis players looked at each other skeptically.

Then Oshitari brushed some dirt of his shoulder. (Figuratively, not literally.) "I don't even know why we were worried."

"Because I can be shot," said Inui. "That's why we were worried."

"Oh," said Oshitari. "Well, I don't know why _I _was worried."

"Let's just go," Choutarou reminded them.

So they ran past the soldiers, but something piqued Inui's interest so he backtracked. When the other two realized Inui was entranced by something about the soldiers, they returned as well.

"What is it?" Oshitari asked.

"Look," Inui pointed at the ground.

They waited.

"What?" Choutarou asked.

"They're not bleeding," Inui said. "They should be bleeding. There's no blood anywhere. At all."

"Are they robots?" Choutarou sounded concerned.

"It's like that man we encountered earlier," Inui said, kneeling down and checking the soldiers for wounds. No, he didn't even bother answering Choutarou's question.

"You know, it's probably something to do with the Universe," said Oshitari. "Can we just get to the prison block before some more soldiers walk around the corner and force us to deal with them?"

"Yeah…" Inui said even though he wanted to examine the impracticalities of the events that had occurred.

So, only looking back for a moment, they darted into the next door and hurried down the stairs. The door they encountered required a code in order to open, but instead of waiting for Inui to hack into the system and devise a plan, Choutarou cleverly offered to simply punch the door out.

And he did, immediately catching the guards inside off guard. (LOLZ!) Instead of doing anything smart, the soldiers just cried out and tumbled over as the door fell to the ground and started smoking as if it had just exploded.

After a moment of standing there looking confused, Inui finally looked around and established that everyone was dead.

"Did we break an airlock or something?" Oshitari raised an eyebrow.

"Why did this door start smoking?" Choutarou pointed at the door which was now all charred and black.

"As the two of you said before, let's just get right down to business and figure out where this mystery person is being held," Inui said. "Hopefully his life is not as fragile as these guards."

So, with his mad hacking skillz, Inui proceeded to look at the clipboard that had a list of who was in which cell. "Well," he said finally. "None of the names are familiar."

"_What?_" Oshitari and Choutarou sounded very exasperated.

"But," Inui continued. "There is one prisoner who is sentenced to death and no name is listed. Only the number '01.'"

"What does that mean?" Oshitari said.

"I don't know," said Inui. "But I'm not willing to leave here unless we at least know who the 01 prisoner is."

"Yeah, I don't want to leave here empty handed after all this work," Choutarou agreed.

"Where is he?" Oshitari said.

"At the very end of the hallway," Inui answered.

The prison doors looked like regular doors. They weren't really cells… probably just rooms. But they would find out soon enough.

"This is it," Inui said, double checking the room number on the clipboard and on the door.

"And what if it turns out that this 01 guy isn't someone we know?" Choutarou questioned.

"Then we have to either assume that they have already put the one we seek to death, and therefore you have to use your power again in order to locate the other person," Inui replied.

"Fair enough," Choutarou nodded.

Oshitari was bored with a conversation that didn't involve him, even if it was short, so he leaned over and pressed the button that opened the door. The door just whizzed open and disappeared into the ceiling like it would in a Star Trek episode and they peered into the dark room. There was distinctly a figure sitting in the corner facing the wall.

"Hello?" Choutarou said, but there was no response from the person.

"I don't recognize him," Inui whispered.

"How can you already make that judgment?" Oshitari said. "The room is dark, and all you can see is the faint silhouette of his back."

"You'd think that if it was someone we knew, he would stand up and turn around and be thankful to see us," Choutarou said.

"Well maybe he doesn't recognize us either," Oshitari said.

"He should have been able to catch onto the situation by now simply because we're standing here and talking about it," said Inui. "So if he _is _someone we know then he is a fool."

"A fool indeed," Oshitari and Choutarou agreed.

"I can hear you, you know," said the person sitting the corner.

"Hey, do you play tennis with us in our original Universe?" Oshitari questioned flatly.

He turned his head very slightly in response to Oshitari's comment. However, it was more of a, "Your comment has intrigued me," sort of slow turn instead of a, "OMG YES I'M NOT CRAZY!" sort of slow turn.

"Tennis?" he said as he stood up and then turned around completely so they could see him. He definitely wasn't someone from their original Universe because they had never seen him before; and he certainly was a fashion disaster with his spandex shorts and green tank top, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination (quite unfortunately). His hands were shackled in front of him and his hair was brown and spikey.

"He doesn't even know what tennis is," said Inui.

"You're not the first strange people to come along and talk about it," said the boy.

"Talk about it—you mean tennis?" Inui said.

The boy nodded. "I forget his name," he said monotonously. "But last I heard he was on Earth."

"If we rescue you, will you take us to him?" Choutarou asked.

The boy raised an eyebrow. But then he looked around the room and down at his current situation.

"I accept," he said finally.


	24. Bad Puns

Channel 124- Bad Puns

"Wait, so you stormed the base, and when you couldn't find anyone from our Universe, you busted out this kid and assumed he was telling the truth?" said Kirihara, sounding awfully skeptically as they sat in a little space shuttle as the mysterious 01 person pressed some buttons and controlled where they were going.

"He told us about someone who was associated with tennis before we even offered to free him," Oshitari said.

"Besides, he was the pilot of that massive robot suit," Inui said.

"I thought you said that someone we knew was the pilot and he was in that city we just left," said Saeki to Choutarou.

"I must have been mistaken," Choutarou said. "There must be hundreds of colonies like that one."

They all looked at the giant floating colony floating behind them.

"Why are we letting _him _pilot this thing?" said Momo. "He's like… ten."

"Because he obviously knows how to navigate which is more than I can say for any of us," Inui replied. "Though, I hardly think that is an accurate interpretation of his age. He must be at least as old as us, if not older."

"Do we know _anything _about him?" said Atobe. "For all we know, he could be a really bad person, and that's why he was locked up."

"Well, unfortunately, he doesn't say much," Inui said.

They all looked at him but he was acting as though he couldn't hear them. But you know he could. Unless he was deaf. But he wasn't.

"Hey, if that was your giant robot suit, 01, then why did you just leave it there?" questioned Eiji.

"Because they're transporting it to Earth," he replied. "So I had to go there anyway. If you guys don't bother me, then I won't destroy you."

"Destroy us?" Eiji looked taken aback. "Wow. That's serious business."

"No, it is less drastic than what I _could _have said," the boy said, his eyes narrowing.

Everyone looked at each other with questioning expressions, but then there was a strange beeping from the control panel. They all assumed it was the remote at first and looked at Inui, but then Inui pointed at the screen on the control panel that was clearly a radar system. There were two white blobs floating towards their own personal white blob at intense speeds.

Without saying anything, the pilot jumped to his feet and made his way towards the door in the back of the cockpit and left.

All the people that the world actually likes (and Kirihara) looked at each other for a few seconds and then decided that they wanted to follow. When they reached to where he had gone, they discovered that the plane they had hijacked was apparently a military plane because not only where there several stacks of weapons and such, but there were also three gigantic robot suits like the ones they had seen fighting earlier.

"I want to fly one!" Momo said immediately.

"You can't," said the pilot as he finished putting on a spacesuit at record breaking speed. "I've got the plane set for autopilot so it will eventually get you guys to Earth."

"Why, don't you plan on coming back?" Taka asked.

"Maybe," said the pilot as he jumped inside one of the suits. After a few seconds, the suit's eyes lit up and picked up a giant space laser. The giant hatch in the back of the plane opened up and he leapt out while everyone else struggled to close the door before they were sucked out into the emptiness of space.

"Do you think he'll make it back?" said Saeki as he went to the radar. "It's two against one."

"It's not like we can do anything about it," Atobe said as he sat down and put his legs up.

"If those things are anything like the ones Dr. Brain made, then I bet I could pilot one of them," Shishido said to Choutarou. "Remember that time we took one and studied it?"

Choutarou nodded. "You never completely mastered it, though," he reminded him.

"Well, even if he does have it on autopilot, it'd be nice to have him around since he seems to know what's going on," Shishido said. "So I'm going out there."

"If you're going, then so am I!" Momo declared.

No one was going to tell Momo otherwise. They figured he could help out, but if he got killed then it wouldn't really matter since he would come back to life in the next Universe anyway. So Momo and Shishido departed into the large hanger anywhere to get dressed in spacesuits just as they had seen the pilot before them do. Unfortunately, they couldn't get dressed in two seconds like he had so it took him at least a couple of minutes to do that part and get into the suits.

Meanwhile, the others were observing the radar just as they heard the hatch open up.

"It's wild to see Earth from all the way up here!" Eiji said as he looked upon his home planet with much endearment.

"You know, this wouldn't have been nearly as bad if we didn't go to _new _Universes," Oshitari crossed his arms and sat down as well. He threw a glare at Saeki and Itsuki just for good measure.

"What?" said Saeki. "I agree. It would be a lot less annoying if I didn't have to _be here_."

"No matter how often this conversation occurs, it's not going to change anything about our situation," Inui said. "So we should just stop complaining about it and watch the show."

Everyone looked out the giant front window to see the three suits hovering in midair in front of the Earth. Off in the distance, there were two white suits rocketing towards them at MAXIMUM SPEED.

The pilot who still remains nameless switched on his intercom so he could converse with Shishido and Momo. They had an awesome three way intercom system that sure was helpful.

"I thought I told you not to follow me," he said.

"I don't get it," said Momo as he pulled some levers and pressed some buttons. "This is confusing!"

"You'll need the help," Shishido said to the pilot. "I can pilot this thing no problem."

"Not up against what we're going to be fighting," said the pilot as the tiny specks in the distance eventually turned into much larger specks that were not quite in the distance. Then they became large robot suits that were much bigger and much more personalized looking and intense than the ones our heroes were piloting.

"Who are these guys?" Shishido said as they all just hovered in space and the plane flew by behind them. "Those suits look more like the one you were in when we are at the colony."

"Don't ask questions," the pilot answered. "Just fight."

Shishido did as he was told. I guess he's gotten pretty good at that, as a sidekick and all.

All four suits clashed at once. Momo's suit was spinning around foolishly stuck in a punching cycle as he desperately tried to remedy the situation.

"Anyone who fights in space is _my enemy_!" screamed one of the enemies through the intercom as he raised his robot arm and it extended towards Shishido and the unknown pilot. The two of them dodged to the side just in time and then came at him from either side, but he flew up higher.

"He's faster than us!" Shishido said.

"Obviously," said the comrade pilot. "He's got a Gundam. We've just got standard mobile suits."

The suit that had already attacked them regrouped and returned back to his friend.

"That one too?" Shishido said, looking over at the other suit.

"Yeah."

"So how are we going to do this?" Shishido asked.

"We can't win," said the pilot. "But we can hope to give the ship enough time to enter the Earth's atmosphere. Once they're there, these guys won't be able to get to them."

"So we're just going to be a distraction?" Shishido said, looking disappointed.

"If it bothers you, you still have time to get back on the ship," he said.

"No, I can do it," said Shishido. He didn't fear death. Pretty much just because it was fake death.

"Let's separate them," said the pilot.

"What about me?" cried Momo as he continued spinning.

"I've got the one on the right," Shishido reported, ignoring Momo entirely.

The two of them rocketed towards their enemies, and it seemed as though their enemies had already decided that they were going to separate because they immediately shot off in different directions. Shishido observed his comrade (you know, the one who _isn't_ Momo) as he whipped out something that looked like a lightsaber from his side. Shishido decided to do the same, and luckily it was just in time to block his opponent's attack.

Their saber swords clashed in midair, and Shishido's intercom turned on; a transmission from his enemy!

"The fact that we're in space seems to have made you not realize the gravity of the situation you're in!" laughed the voice on the other end.

"Very funny," said Shishido, rolling his eyes. "Is this really a time for jokes?"

"All the way up here, you could say time is flying!"

Shishido was tempted to slap his forehead, but that would have been counterproductive to his cause.

"You're certainly optimistic," he said instead.

"You have to have a good altitude to be a good pilot!" said his opponent.

"All right, cut it out," said Shishido. "You're just being annoying now."

"Would you say that my abilities in space here are… astronomical?" his opponent chuckled.

Shishido got angry and got a surge of strength which enabled him to push the annoying opponent back. His opponent recovered quickly as they hovered in front of one another.

"Seriously," said Shishido into the intercom. "These jokes are horrible. They're not even funny in the least bit. Sort of reminds me of…"

Shishido trailed off.

"Of…" he said again. Then a light bulb appeared above his head and he quickly rerouted his intercom to the ship that was still heading for Earth. "Hey guys?"

"Yes?" came the voice of practically everyone back at the ship who felt like they were being spoken to.

"Who's that guy on Rokkaku who makes all those annoying jokes?" he asked.

"David," groaned Saeki and Itsuki.

"Okay," said Shishido as he switched his intercom back to his opponent, who was still chuckling at his earlier joke. Or perhaps he had told another joke while Shishido wasn't listening. "David?" Shishido tried. "From Rokkaku?"

His opponent immediately stopped laughing. And then there was a long pause.

"And you are…?"

"Shishido. From Hyoutei."

There was another long pause.

"For real?" the voice said.

"Yeah," said Shishido.

Then, yet another long pause.

"All right."


	25. The Arabian Desert

Channel 125- The Arabian Desert

It took a lot of effort to return Momo to the hanger because he was a failure at piloting, but they eventually got him back. Then it took even more effort to fit the two Gundams into the ship as well, since they had established a truce on account of the fact that David wanted to talk to everyone, whether their conversation would be riddled with bad puns or not!

The two doors on the Gundams opened up and the pilots descended to where the others were already waiting.

David took off his helmet first, and Inui made the observation that the remote had transformed to thirty-eight. Everyone applauded.

"And this must be Bane!" Saeki established as the other pilot landed, but everyone quickly realized that he was _not _Bane. After all, Bane is gynormbously tall and this fellow was… quite the opposite of that.

He took off his helmet to confirm their suspicions that he was not Bane. He was some incredibly short Chinese boy.

"Is this some random guy who is on Rokkaku?" Kirihara asked.

Inui held the remote up to him to see that the number was not going down. "I don't think he's a tennis player," he established.

The kid scoffed at them and then strutted by as if he was entitled.

"Don't mind Wufei," said David. "He's kind of…antisocial."

"We noticed," said the others.

"Who is he?" asked Itsuki.

"I don't know," David replied. "When I appeared, I was with him for some reason. We both had the same giant robot suits, so I figured I'd stick with him until he ditched me."

"We met a random antisocial robot suit pilot too," said Atobe, pointing at their pilot friend.

"Oh, that's just Heero!" said David with a laugh.

The pilot glared and then decided that he was too good for the conversation too so he joined Wufei in the cockpit.

"But why am I standing here giving you all answers?" said David, putting his hands on his hips. "How about you all explain to me what's going on?"

"Well…" Inui started.

--Insert explanation here—

"Oh," said David with a nod. "So you're a pirate!"

"Right," said Inui.

David laughed. "Don't you think you're going a little overboard?"

"I'm already sick of his puns," said Shishido.

"Ditto," chimed everyone else.

"So what made you guys think that Bane was with me, anyway?" David asked as if they hadn't just been talking about how annoying he was.

"Well, as I explained," Inui began. "Generally we have found people in twos. And, for the most part, the person they are paired up with makes sense."

"Except for Kaidou and Kamio, that didn't really make too much sense," Taka noted.

"Those two played against each other," Momo pointed out. "Hiyoshi and Shinji made less sense."

"Oh right," nodded Taka.

"So what's our mission?" David said.

"We haven't received it," Inui said. "I take it by the fact that you were confused as to why we thought Bane was with you that he is not actually with you."

David stared at Inui blankly. "Whoa," he said. "I did not understand what you just said at all."

"Bane's not with you, is he?" Oshitari translated before Inui could just repeat exactly what he had said.

"No," said David.

"Well, we haven't received the mission, so that means someone else is in this Universe," Inui said.

"We still have to get to Earth," Taka said. "That pilot we were with said he met up with someone who plays tennis on Earth."

"It was probably David, wasn't it?" Itsuki suggested.

"I haven't been to Earth yet," David said.

"Then that means there is definitely another person here," Atobe said. "So let's go get some more information out of those two guys."

They all went back into the cockpit where both Heero and Wufei were sitting. They had changed out of their spacesuits in record breaking time. In fact, they broke their own records and were now sitting in the pilot and co-pilot seat in absolute silence. They didn't even move or react when the massive group entered.

Inui turned to everyone else and said, "Actually, I think it might be best if David and I spoke to them alone."

"Why?" said Oshitari.

"Because," said Inui. "Look at them."

Everyone leaned over and stared.

"Okay, point taken," they grumbled.

All the people except Inui and David retreated back into the hanger where it was more spacious. David and Inui went over to where Heero and Wufei were sitting idly by.

"So…Heero, your name was?" Inui started.

"If you tell anyone about me, I'll have to destroy you," Heero threatened.

"Same here," Wufei agreed.

Inui only stood there looking stupefied.

"Don't mind them," David said. "They say that to everyone, but only actually destroy roughly twenty percent."

"Why 'destroy'?" Inui asked.

"As opposed to…?" David said, looking confused.

"Kill?" Inui suggested.

David looked very confused. Wufei and Heero turned around and looked at Inui with equally confused expressions on their faces.

"Is that one of your smart words that only two people know the meaning of?" David questioned.

"…" Inui said. "It's a fairly common word."

"I have literally never heard that word before in my life," said Wufei.

Inui was about to question about how that could possibly be so, but then he sorted out his priorities and realized there were much more important matters to address.

"Heero," he said. "You said you met up with someone who spoke about tennis. Is David that person?"

"No," Heero answered.

"Who is the person?" Inui asked.

"I told you I don't remember his name," Heero responded as he faced forward again.

"What did he look like?" Inui tried.

"I don't remember," Heero said.

Inui had a hard time believing him, but he didn't want to end up being among the unfortunate destroyed twenty percent.

"Fair enough," said Inui. "But you _do _remember where to find him, right?"

Heero didn't answer at first.

"Who are these guys?" Wufei asked Heero finally.

"I don't know," Heero answered. "I'm just repaying a debt, but they're turning into quite the hassle."

Wufei looked satisfied with that as an answer. Inui was about to say something, but Heero raised his hand.

"We're about to enter Earth's atmosphere," he said. "Tell your friends to brace themselves and be ready."

"Come on," David said to Inui.

The two of them went back into the hanger.

"What did you learn?" Kirihara asked.

"Absolutely nothing," Inui replied.

"You shouldn't bother talking to them, really," said David. "They're pretty annoying."

"Are all Gundam pilots annoying?" questioned Momo.

"Of course not!" said David. "There's me!"

And they all slapped him for that one.

"And besides…" David said as he rubbed his cheek sadly. "Me and Wufei met another pilot a few days ago. He wasn't like those guys at all. In fact, he said he was heading to Earth to meet up with an ally…I wonder if that ally is this person we're looking for…"

"Would it be better for us to travel with this other pilot you are in contact with?" Inui questioned.

"At this point we're heading into the Earth's atmosphere so it's not like we can change—" David started, but he was interrupted because there was a massive rumbling that sent everyone careening off into the air. It's a good thing they were in a zero gravity situation or else several people would have been gravely wounded.

"Oh right, we were supposed to warn everyone about that," Inui said as they all got back together.

"Thanks," said Kirihara sarcastically.

"Maybe after we land, David can contact this other person who would be better to travel with," Saeki suggested.

"Do you have a way of contacting him?" Choutarou asked.

"Yeah," said David. "Through my Gundam."

So they all took advantage of the zero gravity and flew over to the cockpit area of David's Gundam. However, they quickly realized that they were on Earth again so therefore zero gravity was no longer in effect, but they only realized that after they had leapt into the air and crashed to the floor like fools. So they picked up the little pieces that remained of their pride and calmly walked to the Gundam instead.

David got inside and pressed a few buttons and a screen appeared to the side of him. There was an uberly friendly looking young blond boy on the screen.

"David! Hi! How are you? How is Wufei? Change of plans?" he said, sounding so content and excited that even Eiji died a little inside.

"Hey Quatre, you could say that," David said. "We're heading to Earth right now. Are you there yet?"

"I just landed," Quatre replied. "What made you change your mind?"

"Who's that ally you're meeting up with?" David asked.

Quatre looked puzzled at first. "Well, to be honest, I'm not exactly sure," he admitted sheepishly. "All I know is that he's a Gundam pilot like us. He contacted me and I'm always willing to meet with allies in our quest for peace."

David looked over at everyone who was waiting for something productive to come from the conversation.

"Would you mind if we showed up too?" David asked. "I'm here with Heero and Wufei and…" His eyes wandered to everyone else who was clearly out of Quatre's field of view. "And…some friends."

"Of course," said Quatre. "The more the merrier! I'm sending you my coordinates now. Have a safe journey!"

The screen beeped a little bit, and then his image disappeared.

"He was optimistic," Choutarou commented.

"You have to have a good altitude to be a good pilot!" said David with a laugh.

"You already said that one," said Shishido with a frown.

"I did?" David looked sad. "Well, I wanted to share it with everyone else too."

"Why?" said Shishido. "It was stupid the first time."

"Regardless," Inui cleared his throat to get attention. And everyone knows better at this point than to not give Inui attention when he asks for it. "How long will it take us to get to this enthusiastic and optimistic fellow you just contacted?"

David double checked the coordinates. "Well, according to these coordinates, he's in the Arabian desert."

"So…is that easy or hard to get to?" Eiji asked.

"It's kind of like swimming," David shrugged. "It… deep-ends!"

Just when David was about to receive the beating of his life, in what must have been RECORD BREAKING TIME, the plane rumbled as it landed on the surface on the Earth.

"That was quick," Saeki said.

"The world seems to work that way here," David said.

"Speaking of this world working in odd ways," Oshitari said as he just remembered something. "How come people die randomly in this Universe and people don't bleed?"

David blinked. "Bleed?" he repeated.

"Yeah," said Oshitari. "You know. Like if you get a cut. You bleed."

David slowly started shaking his head.

Everyone smacked him.

"What was that for?" David demanded.

"We don't want to have to deal with your jokes!" said Kirihara.

"I'm not joking around!" David said. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"You know, blood!" said Shishido. "That red stuff in your body that comes out of you if you break skin!"

David still looked ultimately confused.

"Forget him," said Atobe. "Let's just get to the Arabian desert so we can see if this guy is meeting up with someone who may or may not be the person we're looking for." Atobe paused a moment after his comment. "I just realized how ludicrous that sounds."

"It's the only plan we've got at this point," Inui said regrettably.

The door to the hanger opened up and they all looked over to see Wufei and Heero standing there looking angsty and emo.

"Coming to Earth wasn't exactly on my agenda," Wufei commented as he made his way to his Gundam.

"Hey Wufei!" David called. "I'm not coming along with you."

"I work better alone anyway," he said as he used super human jumping abilities to get inside of his Gundam and turn it on in record breaking time. He revved up his Gundam and disappeared from the ship in only a few seconds without incinerating a single thing!

Then David looked down at Heero who was only casually strolling out of the hanger. "Hey, why don't you take one of the Leos with you?" David asked.

"I'll just draw attention to myself," said Heero. "Are the rest of you coming?"

"No, we're going to stick with David and head to the Arabian desert," Inui replied.

If Heero was partial to any sort of facial expression whatsoever, he might have made one right then and there. Instead, he only nodded, and was gone.

"I guess that means we get to keep the plane," Momo remarked. "Does anyone know how to fly one of these things?"

"I could figure it out," Shishido said. "Give me a few minutes."

Shishido went to jump off towards the door like it was still zero gravity but he luckily remembered at the last second that they were on Earth so therefore gravity was once again in effect. So he just walked.

"How long is this going to take to get there?" Itsuki asked.

"Well, things in this Universe tend to go pretty quickly," David said. "So I'm willing to bet we'll be there by the next chapter."

And David is probably right.


	26. Leid

Channel 126- Leid

"Well that only took a day!" said Momo as they landed in the Arabian Desert.

"Don't you think it's funny how we didn't have to stop for fuel a single time?" Taka inquired.

Momo rubbed his chin thoughtfully and then shrugged.

"Don't question it, embrace it!" said David as he stood up and put his hands on his hips dramatically.

"Of course David would be in a Universe that just makes absolutely no sense whatsoever…" said Saeki to Itsuki as he looked through a dictionary to discover there were several words missing, such as 'kill' and 'dead' and 'blood.' You know, things that this story is based on. And don't ask where Saeki got a dictionary.

"I don't think it's fair that Saeki and Itsuki just joined this adventure and we've already located more Rokkaku people," Kirihara crossed his arms and pouted. "Last time, I had to wait all the way until we found creepy vampire Renji before I had anyone else on my team to hang out with."

Everyone who was not already involved in a conversation stared at Kirihara and then told him to shut up.

Inui peered out the window and only saw desert around him.

"So…" he said slowly. "Are you sure these are the right coordinates?"

"You already double checked," Shishido reminded him.

"Okay, but there's no base or anything," Inui said.

"That suspiciously friendly guy gave us the wrong coordinates!" Kirihara immediately jumped to conclusions.

"Let's not immediately jump to conclusions," Choutarou said.

"I could try contacting Quatre again," David suggested.

Just then, they heard something approaching. Everyone ran to one side of the plane to get a good view, and they saw another Gundam flying towards them. Instead of waiting to see what was going to happen, they instead all looked at the remote and hoped the counter would go down. And, since Inui has previously been defined as somewhat claustrophobic, he reminded them that he needed personal space, and they would have to wait until the person got closer anyway.

The Gundam landed in the sand next to them and then didn't move. After a few moments of whispering to each other, they felt something a-rumblin'. A large hatch from under the sand began to rise and reveal that the base was actually _underground_!

"Oh!" exclaimed everyone. "_Underground_!"

The Gundam strutted faultlessly down the ramp, and Shishido took it upon himself to pilot their little ship down there as well. Luckily for all parties involved, it fit perfectly _and _there was an area where the plane could be parked!

They all exited the plane were they were greeted by several men in fezzes and then some women ran up to them and they all got laid. Or…leid. You know, they got some leis. Around their necks.

Just as they were starting to enjoy themselves, (because who doesn't like getting laid? Er…leid?) they happened to notice that the latch to the Gundam began to open. They all spun around and stared at the remote instead of the door to the Gundam, but were disappointed when the number did not change.

So, after the number failed to make them happy, they looked up to see who this supposed ally was, when he _wasn't _a middle school boy who plays tennis.

"And _you _are?" Atobe said rudely, throwing courtesy to the wind.

"Is that any way to greet someone you just met?" demanded the new boy who also happened to be quite short in comparison to a majority of the people standing before him. He was dressed in all black and had a long stupid braid.

"What is it with all these pilots being so very short?" Oshitari pondered out loud and vocally.

"Hey," said the new pilot, putting his hands on his hips. "Duo. Duo Maxwell. I may run and hide but I'll never tell a lie." He stood there looking proud of himself, and when he got no reaction from his little rhyme, he added, "Yeah. That's me in a nutshell."

"That's fantastic," said Eiji, feeling bad because no one respected him.

"Well, that made our trip to the Arabian Desert way pointless," said Shishido. "Not to mention lame."

"What do you mean?" Duo inquired.

"You're not someone who we hoped you would be," Shishido answered.

Just when Duo was surely going to inquire further, some of the fez wearing minions ran over and insisted they come along to be accommodated by their accommodating master who is apparently quite accommodating.

They got onto an elevator and started riding it downward.

"Hey, you're wanted now Duo, aren't you?" David said.

"Yeah, pretty much," Duo replied as if it was fine and normal.

"Well," David started to chuckle. "Now that we're in this elevator, you might just say that you are a con…descending!"

Everyone simultaneously slapped their foreheads. Then they slapped their other foreheads.

Duo just stood there and shook his head. "Come on, man," he said. "Even I can't laugh at that. And I've been known to laugh at some pretty not funny things."

"I would say you're in denial, but we're nowhere near Egypt!" said David as he slapped his knee.

"Ow, my soul!" cried the group as a collective as they experienced pain because of David's horrible jokes.

Luckily, they didn't have to spend anymore time with David in the small confined area because they reached their destination. The door opened up and they encountered a grand room with all the trimmings! Just imagine a grand room because I don't feel like explaining what this one looks like. _You _get to decide! Interactive reading!

However, I will do my part in adding at least one feature that is essential to the following scenes. If you wish not to include it in your vision of the grand room then you're going to be bothered by continuity. The object that is necessary in this room is a small table with a tea set on it. It might _seem _unimportant, but I'll have you know that it is _very _important! Just you wait and see!

Everyone stood around waiting idly by. They didn't know when this accommodating young host was going to arrive, and all the minions in fezzes had already left!

"So…" Duo began. "Are you guys all going to a costume party or something?"

"Actually—" Inui started, but Atobe put up his hand to signal for him to stop.

"Yes," Atobe answered. "We are."

"Oh," said Duo.

Just then, the doors flung open. Or, if you did not have doors in your vision of the grand room, then we'll assume that two people beamed in or burrowed in or something equally ridiculous that would have been much easier to see if there had just been doors. Nice job.

One of the people was the accommodating host, Quatre! The other one was an emo that everyone thought was Kamio at first, but they were disappointed to discover that he wasn't. He was actually Trowa.

"Oh!" Quatre looked very surprised. "I wasn't expecting so many people! Welcome! I want to be sure to get to know each of you!"

"We don't have time for that," said Oshitari. "Actually, we were planning on leaving since the person we're looking for is not here."

"Who are you looking for?" Quatre asked. "Maybe I could help! Oh! Hi Duo! I didn't see you there!"

"Hey, Quatre," said Duo. The two of them started talking in the background as the all the people we actually like looked at each other.

"Wait a second," said Inui. "That Duo person can't possibly be the ally that Quatre said he was waiting for."

"Yeah!" said David. "Because he said that he didn't know the ally's name!"

"So there's still a chance that someone else might show up?" Itsuki inquired.

"Possibly," Inui adjusted his glasses. Inui then decided that not knowing things was for stupid people, so he turned to Quatre and invaded the conversation without even excusing himself. "Has the ally arrived yet?"

"Several allies have arrived!" said Quatre as he beamed with happiness and the scenery around him exploded with sunshine and joy, the shines in his eyes twinkling to such an extreme extent that one might just suggest he was a little pony.

Inui was initially blinded and taken aback, but he finally regained his composure. "I mean," he started. "The ally that you were specifically waiting for. The one who you don't know."

"Oh right," said Quatre. "He hasn't arrived yet. I expect him to arrive soon, though. While we're waiting, would you all like some tea?"

SEE! I TOLD YOU THE TEA WAS IMPORTANT!

"Um…no," Inui said.

"That's not true, _I _would like some tea," said Atobe.

"Okay!" said Quatre, completely undeterred as he poured Atobe some tea. Atobe took the tea and glared at Inui for good measure.

"You don't have to be so rude to him, Inui," Taka pointed out. "He's being really friendly."

"It's in Quatre's nature," said Trowa as he looked upon Quatre in an ambiguously gay sort of way. No one really noticed because they were accustomed to expressions like that.

"I miss Oishi," said Eiji. Sure, it _seems _random. But it's not.

"You guys never told us who you _really _are," said Duo as he sat down at the table.

"That's right!" said Quatre as he sat down as well and poured himself some tea. "You aren't mobile suit pilots, are you?"

"No," said Kirihara. "Well, I guess Shishido is."

"No I'm not," said Shishido.

"If Shishido is one, then I am to!" said Momo adamantly.

"No you're not," said Kirihara as if he was the one who goes around and decides who's a mobile suit pilot.

"And you know I am, of course!" said David.

"Right," said Quatre as he got horseshoe eyes. "Where did you find these unique characters, David?"

David thought for a moment. Everyone anticipated his response, which was likely going to be an annoying pun, and was completely ready to smack him. He finally said, "In space."

They didn't know how to react, but they didn't want their pent up rage to go to waste, so they all smacked him.

Quatre only chuckled warmly. "I see," he said. "Well, regardless of whether or not you're Gundam pilots, I'm glad to have you here as my guests. Feel free to make yourselves at home until you find the person who you are looking for."

"How did you know we were looking for someone?" Choutarou asked.

"You told me," Quatre said.

Choutarou paused a moment. "Oh right," he said.

"Tea, Trowa?" Quatre asked.

"No thank you," said Trowa.

Suddenly, the elevator opened and a minion in a fez came running in the room.

"Master Quatre!" said the minion, and Quatre immediately stood up to hear whatever he had to say. "A Gundam has just arrived outside the Base. Shall we let him in?"

"Of course!" said Quatre. "And make sure he gets leid by all the girls so he can experience our hospitality!"

"Yes sir!" said the minion as he went back into the elevator.

No one knew whether they should react to the potential of the next person finally arriving or the hilarious sexual innuendo that Quatre clearly had absolutely no idea he had just said.

"Maybe your friend is finally here," said Duo since he obviously didn't hear the innuendo either, while all of our tennis player friends were trying to stifle their laughter.

"That's right," said Inui, the first to collect himself. "We have already spent far too long in this Universe."

He took the remote out of his pocket and held it up triumphantly.

"If this pilot isn't the one we're looking for, then I swear I'm just going to kill myself and wake up when we get to the next Universe," said Oshitari as they all made their way to the elevator.

"That is actually a good idea," Atobe commented.

When they were halfway to the elevator, Inui told everyone except David to stay behind because he thought it was ludicrous for them all to migrate as a herd and it would just make more sense if they went up and checked and then brought the person back down. No one really argued because they didn't feel like moving anyway.

So David and Inui got into the elevator.

"Hey," said David.

"Don't tell a joke," Inui warned.

"I promise it's funny," David said.

Inui sighed heavily and his eye twitched. Then his head hurt.

"Fine," he said. "But if it's not funny, I will beat you."

"Okay," said David, looking excited. "I decided how I want to die."

"Oh?" said Inui.

"Yeah," said David. "Peacefully. In my sleep, just like my grandfather."

Inui paused and waited. "Okay…"

"Yeah," David said. "I definitely don't want to die screaming and in horrible fear like the passengers in his car."

Inui stared at David. Then he mulled over what he had said. Then he looked straight ahead.

"All right," he said. "I'll give you that one."

"Yes!" said David as he did a victory dance just when the door to the elevator opened to reveal they were back in the hanger where they had first arrived.


	27. OZ Base

Channel 127- OZ Base

Sure enough, there was a new giant robot suit that had already situated itself in the gigantic room that was readily available.

Inui and David stood there and waited for the hatch to open.

Then it did.

Since they were currently standing at the feet of the Gundam, they couldn't right away see who it was. Then the person inside made a leap of faith, quite literally and dove off the Gundam, landing perfectly on the ground as if it wasn't a fatal drop.

When he stood up straight, he revealed quite anticlimactically that he was… BANE!

Just to make sure, Inui checked his remote. The number went down to thirty seven.

"Hi Bane," said David.

"Hi David," Bane said.

They both stared at each other.

"Okay," said Inui since he felt left out, but obviously for all Bane knew, Inui was just some random pirate that was standing there for no reason.

"Should we hug or something?" David asked Bane.

"No," Bane replied. "We're _way _too manly for that."

"That's right!" laughed David. "You're my Bane shaped friend!"

"I am already tired of you," said Bane as he punched David in the face.

And Inui was still standing there, so Bane took the opportunity to look at Inui and finally give him the time of day.

"May I help you?" he said.

"_Obviously _I'm on Seigaku," said Inui as he didn't even bother to be polite about anything.

"Seigaku…" Bane thought about this. "Wait, so…"

"Yes," said Inui. "Let me explain as we make our way downstairs so we can receive our mission."

"What?" said Bane, looking confused.

Since Inui has explained this several times before, it took him only the length of the elevator ride to have Bane understanding the situation entirely. In fact, as the elevator opened to where everyone else was pleasantly drinking tea, Bane was saying, "Ohhhh…"

"I figured it would be Bane," Saeki commented.

"You guys are stuck in this thing too?" Bane said.

"Unfortunately," Saeki replied.

"Last time, the only ones from Rokkaku who were affected were Ryou and Kentarou, and already we have found four of them," Kirihara observed. "How come we haven't found any more Rikkai Dai people?"

"We'll find them when we find them," said Shishido since he didn't want to listen to Kirihara complain about being alone all the time. Actually, no one really wanted to listen to him. It was getting very annoying.

Of course, Quatre, Duo and Trowa were just sitting there like, "Hmmm?"

"It seems as though we have just received our mission," Inui noticed.

"So you guys _are _pilots," Duo concluded.

"No, we're not," said Atobe.

"I hope our mission has something to do with destroying an OZ Base or something," said Bane, looking over Inui's shoulder.

"I suppose you can make sense of what that means?" Inui inquired, showing Bane the screen that read, _Destroy an OZ Base._

"Slam dunk!" cheered Bane as he did the happy dance.

"Swish!" David agreed.

Bane immediately stopped his happy dance. "David," he said. "How could a slam dunk possibly make a 'swish' sound?"

David pondered that. "All right, you got me there," David shrugged.

"Do you know where we can find an OZ Base?" Taka asked David and Bane.

"Of course, they're all over the place," Bane replied.

"I hope we don't have to kill anyone," said Eiji.

"There's that word again!" David said.

"What word?" Eiji asked.

"That word that you say all the time!" said David. "You know, the one that means the same as 'destroy.'"

"Are we talking about 'kill' and 'blood' again?" Momo questioned skeptically.

"Yes, those!" said David and then he looked at Bane as well as the three people we don't care about who are also there and looking mightily confused. "They all think I'm just telling a joke! But I'm right, aren't I?"

"Blood…" Duo said thoughtfully. "It sounds German."

"I am just going to ignore all of you," Inui said. "Everyone get on the plane. We're going to destroy an OZ Base, whatever that is."

"Let me get my Gundam ready!" said Quatre, standing up, along with Duo and Trowa who also looked vaguely excited.

"You guys aren't invited," said Kirihara.

"What?" they said in perfect harmony.

"Let's let them come along!" said Bane. "If they're there then we can destroy the base faster and then we'll be out of here."

"Fine…" said Kirihara, looking at the trio scornfully even though he had no reason to hate them.

So they frolicked off to the plane except for everyone who had robot suits. In what must have only taken two minutes, they were up in the air and flying. Someone made a comment about how abruptly everyone moves in this Universe, but it's not important to outline exactly who it was.

"You know, I was just thinking," Inui said randomly to everyone else who was just chillin like ice cream filling. "Maybe we don't have to complete this mission. Maybe we can just stay in this Universe forever."

No one wanted to be the first to say it.

Finally, Taka bravely stepped forward and, as politely as he could, questioned, "Were you being serious just now?"

"Yes," Inui answered.

"Have you gone more lame than usual or what?" demanded Shishido.

"Well, the thing is," Inui said, actually sounding somewhat nervous. "If the next Universe we go to follows the same pattern… then we'll be going to the _Girl _Universe next."

"So?" said Itsuki.

"With _Fuji_ in it," Inui continued.

"Oh," said everyone.

"But Oishi is there too!" said Eiji, putting his finger up in the air. "I'm sure he's convinced Fuji by now that the consequences are not as dire as they appear to be!"

"Yeah, either that or Fuji went into a rage after discovering it had happened again and killed Oishi within five seconds of reappearing," Momo said with a sigh. "And then went to jail for murder."

"How _dare _you!" screamed Eiji as he smacked Momo.

"Okay…I deserved that…" Momo admitted as everyone else shook their heads at him.

Suddenly, they received a transmission from those in the robot suits.

"We're coming up on an OZ Base!" said Bane.

"And I hope you guys aren't disappointed with the _plane _food that you're getting!" said David with a guffaw.

Everyone shook their fists angrily at him because he was out of range of being harmed.

"_Anyway_," Bane said through clenched teeth. "Let us go ahead and do all of the destroying. You guys wait there. Once we're done, we'll come back and get out of here."

"Roger!" everyone cheered as they felt their time in this Universe coming to an end. But then they got sad when they realized their time in this Universe was going to come to an end. And then they'd be in Fuji's Universe. _With Fuji_.

So they landed the plane and decided to chill like villains this time.

"Why are we all so freaked out about seeing Fuji again?" Saeki questioned because they had nothing to talk about.

"Because Fuji and Oishi were taken to the Girl Universe in which they are girls and are bad at tennis," Inui replied.

"They're girls?" Saeki repeated. "Legitimate girls? Like with all the girls parts and everything?"

Everyone stared at Saeki questioningly.

"We didn't _check_," Oshitari said finally.

"I meant in the sense that they actually were girls and weren't just _perceived _as girls," Saeki rolled his eyes. "Kind of like how I still look the same to me, but apparently other people see me as much older."

"I see your logic behind that, but no," said Inui. "They are actually girls."

"I'm so excited to see Oishi!" said Eiji, and then he glared at Momo and added, "Because he's _not _dead!"

"Sorry, geez," said Momo. "No need to bite my head off."

That's when they felt a mighty rumble.

"The attack must have begun," Shishido assumed.

"Or maybe it's an earthquake," Kirihara said just to be contradictory.

"Maybe your _face _is an earthquake," said Shishido.

"Did that sound better in your head?" Kirihara raised his eyebrow.

"Your mom sounded better in my head," Shishido said.

"What is it with you and people's moms, Shishido?" Atobe questioned as Choutarou restrained Kirihara from attacking Shishido.

"What do you mean?" said Shishido.

"Well, a few days ago while we were still in the Superhero Universe, you insulted Oshitari's mother as well," Atobe noted.

"Oh right," said Oshitari as he made an advance towards Shishido, but Choutarou used his super strength to restrain him as well.

"Now is not the time for fighting," said Inui. "Now is the time for standing here in absolute silence and waiting for Bane and David to return so we can change Universes."

"Did you tell them that we have to be all together in order to switch?" Itsuki asked.

"Yeah, cause you didn't tell us that," Saeki pointed out.

"Yes," said Inui. "Are you inferring that I don't learn from previous mistakes, no matter how intensely scarce said mistakes are?"

"I guess not…" Saeki said hesitantly.

It was exactly just at that very moment that they were ambushed by two giant robot suits that came out of nowhere and landed in front of them. Not only did it occur in record breaking time but the only repercussions of the actions were simply everyone's hair getting blown around. (There certainly are a lot of records getting broken in this Universe, aren't there?)

Bane and David catapulted themselves out of their Gundams and landed like they did it every day.

"I'm injured, though," Bane said as he clutched his forearm.

"Let me take a look at it," Saeki offered. "I came from a Doctor Universe."

"All right," said Bane as he rolled up his sleeve.

Saeki stared at Bane's arm but it looked perfectly fine.

"Um…" Saeki began.

"Never mind," said Inui. "It doesn't matter. We're about to change Universes, and as I previously explained, everything will reset, remember?"

"All right, but the pain is quite intense," said Bane.

No one knew how he got injured when he was inside his giant robot in the first place, and of course no one could see his injury either so they all came to the mutual telepathic agreement that he was making it up just for attention.

"Well," said Inui. "This is our last chance to smash the remote and just stay here in this Universe forever."

"Don't make me hurt you," Atobe said.

"All right…" said Inui as he pressed the button as the white light engulfed them.

As soon as the white light cleared, Bane stood up and declared that he suddenly felt just fine. Since no one believed he was injured in the first place, they told him that was great and basically just ignored him.

The Universe was somewhat familiar and mostly normalish. They figured as long as they went to the tennis courts, they would eventually encounter Fuji and Oishi, so they did just that.

"Eleven days have passed since we were re-scattered," Inui reported. "But it shouldn't really matter. Let's wait here for a bit and if they don't show up then we'll head to Oishi's house, assuming any of us can remember where it is."

And no one could so Inui revised his statement.

"Let's just wait here," he said.

"Okay!" everyone cheered as they sat down.

They got bored pretty fast.

"I wish they would just get here already," said Momo, crossing his arms.

"Hey…hey, you guys!" came Oishi's voice behind him. They all jumped up and greeted him.

"And…I wish I had a million dollars!" Momo said.

Then they all stared at Momo.

"I was just checking," Momo said, looking betrayed.

"Oishi, I missed you!" said Eiji as he hugged Oishi. "Again! And you're a girl! Again!"

"And you're going to remind me every five seconds!" said Oishi. "Again!"

"Oh Oishi!" said Eiji as he wiped a tear of happiness from his eye.

Inui checked his remote to see it was at thirty-six.

"Where is Fuji?" Inui said. "Is he not with you?"

"Uh…Fuji…right…" said Oishi, nervously twiddling his fingers. "That's the thing. You see, there's a problem with Fuji."

"A problem?" Saeki said.

"Yeah," said Oishi. But then he stared at Saeki. "Wait…"

"More people were scattered this time," Inui interrupted before Saeki could get sad about being pointed at.

"Oh," said Oishi. "Yeah. Anyway. Fuji…right…I'll take you to him. Or… her…"

"Her?" everyone repeated ever so quizzically.


	28. Accident

Channel 28- Accident

"You see, last week we were shopping for homecoming dresses—" Oishi started, but he regretted it literally one second after he said it, because the only reaction he got was cruel laughter and pointing. Even Eiji had to laugh at that one.

"Sorry, Oishi, but you have to admit that it's funny," Eiji said once he realized Oishi was the opposite of amused.

"Okay, maybe I deserved that one," Oishi tried to take deep hoot breathes before he started a murder spree. "But regardless—"

"What I want to know is why you referred to Fuji as 'her'," Inui interrupted.

"I was getting to that," Oishi frowned.

"I'm more curious about this homecoming event you have," Momo chuckled. "Do you have a date?"

"All right, can we choose our priorities?" Oishi put his hands on his hips.

"You said there was a 'problem' with Fuji," Inui said. "Then you referred to him as 'her', and then you proceeded to begin a story that involved you and Fuji shopping for homecoming dresses and then we all laughed at you."

Oishi glared as intensely as Oishi can glare, which isn't that intensely. "Thanks for the recap," he said.

"So tell us what's going on," Atobe ordered impatiently.

"All right," said Oishi. "But stop laughing or I will throw a temper tantrum!"

"Okay, okay, we promise…" said the others, but some of them were crossing their fingers. Oh dear.

"We were shopping for homecoming dresses after coming to the horrible realization that we were stuck in this Universe again," Oishi said. "Of course, we seemed to appear exactly where we had left off, meaning we were right in the middle of a date with those perverted guys from the boy's tennis team…"

"You're straying from the point," Shishido pointed out.

"Right," said Oishi. "Well, yeah. So we're shopping and then Fuji fell down the stairs."

"Oh," Taka was the first to respond. "Is he all right?"

"That was pretty anticlimactic," Bane said.

"Well, he suffered some mild head trauma and he had to go to the hospital," Oishi said as they stopped in front of a house with a white picket fence.

"Is this Fuji's house?" Inui asked, and Oishi nodded.

"You know, Fuji never struck me as the white picket fence type," Kirihara observed.

"So where is this story going anyway?" Oshitari asked Oishi. "He went to the hospital? What happened then?"

"Well, when he woke up the next morning, he had lost all his memory," Oishi answered. "And I mean _all _of it. He didn't remember a thing. You know, he didn't even remember our original Universe or being awesome at tennis or being…"

"Male," Inui filled in since Oishi had kind of trailed off.

Everyone looked like they were going to faint. Some people _did _faint.

Whence everyone was revived, the interrogation continued.

"Wait, so he thinks he's always been a girl?" Eiji gasped, grabbing Oishi's shoulders and shaking him around.

"Why didn't you tell him the truth?" Itsuki asked.

"Yeah right," said Oishi. "Can you imagine if you wake up with no memories whatsoever and then someone looked at you and told you that you were actually the opposite gender than the one you actually are?"

"Personally, if I had no memories, I wouldn't just _assume _things about myself," Kirihara crossed his arms.

"But there are some natural assumptions you would make," Oishi said. "Establishing your gender isn't something that people normally have trouble with when they wake up with amnesia. It's pretty much one of the only things you can be absolutely sure of."

"Well, how have things been going since then?" Choutarou asked.

"Okay, mostly," Oishi said half heartedly. "It's a little frustrating for me because it was much easier when we could complain to each other about our horrible situation. Instead, the only thing Fuji complains about in the sense of being female is…um… well, you guys would never understand."

"Gross," said David.

"Ewww…" said everyone else once they caught on, and a few more people fainted too.

"Well, let's just go in there, satisfy the remote and quickly get this mission complete so Fuji can turn back into the regular Fuji we have all grown to fear," Kirihara announced. "Because we all know that is by far our top priority."

"I don't think now is the time for jokes," Oishi said.

"Being a girl isn't _that _bad, Oishi!" said Eiji as if he knew.

"Eiji," said Oishi. Then he paused. "You have no idea."

"I just want to help," said Eiji. "Do you have a date to homecoming?"

"No," Oishi sighed.

"What?" Eiji demanded, sounding outraged. "No one asked you?"

"No, a guy asked me but I said no," said Oishi. Then he noticed that everyone was shaking their heads at him. "_What_? You guys wouldn't have said yes!"

"When is homecoming?" Eiji asked.

"Tomorrow night," Oishi answered.

"I swear," Shishido began. "If our mission has anything to do with the fact that you require a date to homecoming and you are unable to get one by the time it starts then I will personally slaughter you with my spear."

"Hey!" said Eiji as he whipped out his butter knife. "Fear my butter knife!"

"Let's not fight," Inui said, sounding mildly irate. "I'm going to explain the situation to Oishi in full while we wait for Fuji to get back."

"It happened again, and this time there are more people," Oishi summarized. "What else is there to know?"

Inui just stood there looking slightly dejected. "Okay," he said. "Fine."

"Question," Oshitari suddenly stepped forward. "Sorry, this is completely random, but it has something to do with me so therefore it's relevant. Remember how I was dead and everything when you guys got to the Detective Universe?"

"Yeah," said Momo. And he was still fuzzy about it.

"Well, what about the Vampire Universe?" Oshitari went on.

"What about it?" Taka inquired.

"Vampire Universe?" whined the entirety of Rokkaku.

"The remote was satisfied with moving the counter down and giving the mission when you guys were just near my…" Oshitari paused and searched for the right word.

"Corpse?" Saeki suggested.

"Sure," Oshitari said. "But we killed Renji in such a way that he left no corpse. In fact, he was just a pile of ashes that probably blew away with the wind in just a few seconds. What happens when we get to that Universe?"

Without a word, Atobe just leaned over and smacked Oshitari up the head. "Don't you think we already have enough pessimism in the air as it is?"

"Ow," said Oshitari.

"See?" said Inui. "I was the one who said we shouldn't have slain Renji. But no one listened to me."

"Well, we listen to you most of the time and we didn't feel like it that time around," David shrugged.

"You weren't there, David," said Bane, slapping his forehead.

"I wanted to be part of the conversation," David said adamantly.

"Next time you want to do something that involves speaking, just put some duct tape over your mouth instead," Momo suggested.

"Hey, Oishi," said Taka. "What type of girl is Fuji? You know, is he really ditzy, or whatever?"

"He's basically just Fuji except he also happens to think he's a girl," Oishi answered. "His personality hasn't changed at all."

"Oh," said Taka.

"That's a relief!" Kirihara exclaimed.

"Did Fuji get a date to homecoming?" Eiji asked.

"Yeah," Oishi nodded. "And he's also running for homecoming queen."

This statement caused an extreme course of action. Everyone went to the nearest convenient store and bought themselves some beverages. At the same time, they took a swig, and then spat the beverages all over the place.

"HOMECOMING QUEEN?" they screamed.

"What?" Oishi said as he wiped some beverage off his face.

"Sorry, that's just weird," Eiji said, handing Oishi a napkin.

"I think he actually has a good chance," Oishi admitted. "He'll get a lot of sympathy votes because of what happened to him."

Everyone took another sip of their beverages and spat those out as well.

"You know," said Oishi, wiping off his face again. "I think you guys miss the point of spitting out the beverage because you're shocked. You don't get shocked, then drink the beverage and _then _spit it out."

"Details, details," said Atobe.

"Then I won't even bother mentioning the other shocking piece of information I have," Oishi said. But they begged and begged him, so he told them to all turn around and face anything that wasn't him while he was speaking. "Fuji actually entered his name for the running to be homecoming queen _before _he lost his memory. He said he wanted to do it for kicks."

But no one spat out their beverage.

"That's not too shocking," said Momo. "That's something Fuji would do even if he wasn't a girl."

"Whatever…" said Oishi.

"Where is he anyway?" Inui said.

"That's right," Oishi said. "I forgot. I was going to meet him at the mall because he's getting his hair highlighted. For homecoming."

This caused them all to spit their beverages out at Oishi again.

"Now am I being spat at because I made you all wait _here _or at the notion that we're getting our hair highlighted?" Oishi said through his teeth.

"_You're_ getting your hair highlighted too?" Shishido sounded absolutely appalled. "You have absolutely no excuse!"

"Fuji invited me!" Oishi whined. "And I feel bad for him because he has no memory so I've been trying to do everything he wants to do!"

"Guys, no more being mean to Oishi or spitting things all over him!" Eiji said as if it was a revolutionary idea.

"Thank you Eiji," Oishi pouted.

"Now the only logical course of action is to travel to the mall and meet up with Fuji," Inui said kind of randomly. "Once we get there, we'll get the mission."

"So how do we confirm this as the next thing we do?" Saeki asked. "We all jump up into the air like a group of Power Rangers and whatnot?"

"Yeah, sure," said Oishi. "But before we do that, is there any way you guys can all go off and find some normal looking clothes before I'm seen in public with you?"

"Normal looking clothes?" Momo demanded. "And what do you call _these_?" Momo made a grand gesture towards the clothes he was wearing.

"…Not normal," Oishi answered.

"I think our clothes are pretty normal," Bane said to David.

"You two were lucky," Atobe sighed, crossing his arms. "I'm back to having to tell people that I have a horrible skin disease before they randomly assume that I'm from another planet."

"A place for us to acquire new clothing would be at the mall," Inui said. "So we will accompany you there and then meet up with you after we look more normal."

"That sounds acceptable," said Oishi with a shrug.

And _then _they all jumped up into the air like a bunch of Power Rangers.


	29. Girl Fuji

Channel 129- Girl!Fuji

Since they were at an obvious lack of money, they didn't know how they were going to go about getting new outfits. But then Choutarou found a dollar on the ground and they bought a scratch ticket with it…and they won the five thousand dollar jackpot! SCORE!

So, among the thirteen of them, they each had about four hundred dollars to splurge with since they weren't about to share with Oishi and Fuji. The group also decided to split up because it made no sense to travel with anyone who didn't play tennis on the same team as them. This meant that they split up into groups of four; Seigaku's Momo, Eiji, Inui and Taka; Hyoutei's Atobe, Oshitari, Shishido and Choutarou; and Rokkaku's Bane, David, Saeki and Itsuki.

And then Kirihara realized that he was standing by himself and decided to follow after Rokkaku since he had too many horrible memories that involved murdering or harming him with the people on both Seigaku and Hyoutei. Rokkaku didn't really mind Kirihara following them since they didn't have anything against him… _yet._

"You know, I don't mean to bring the pessimism back, but no one ever answered me when I asked about the Renji being dead thing," said Oshitari as he picked a hat off the rack that everyone else had looked at and said; "Ew."

And, while he was holding it, everyone was thinking, "Ew."

But then he put it on, and suddenly, it was all okay. Oshitari worked the hat.

"I think we're all sort of hoping that being in the general vicinity of where he was slain will be good enough," Atobe said.

"I don't want to go to anymore new Universes!" Shishido announced randomly.

"Wouldn't that be nice?" Choutarou sighed.

"I also don't want to get kidnapped ever again," Shishido grumbled.

"That'll be the day," Atobe rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, Seigaku found themselves in a less expensive store than the rich spoiled Hyoutei boys were in. Yes, even though they all have the exact same amount of money, we're talking about instinct here.

"I feel kind of sorry for Fuji," said Taka. "I haven't seen him thinking he's a girl yet, but I know it's going to bother me."

"I'm just glad it wasn't Oishi who fell down the stairs!" said Eiji, wiping his forehead.

"Fuji's not even going to remember _us_!" Momo observed.

"I would just die if Oishi had forgotten me!" said Eiji.

"Oishi's not the one with amnesia," Taka pointed out.

"Yeah," said Eiji. "Thank the heavens!"

Inui just stood there and stared at a rack of clothing. "_What _is the point of getting new clothes again?" he mused.

And finally, Rokkaku slash Rikkai Dai had all gravitated to a store that promoted sea activities. Well, Rokkau had anyway, and Rikkai Dai was just forced to follow.

"It seems kind of pointless to refer to just me as 'Rikkai Dai'," Kirihara said begrudgingly.

"You know what's pointless?" said David. "Writing with a broken pencil!"

"Sometimes, David, I just hate you," said Bane.

"Only sometimes?" Itsuki said.

"You know, guys, I'm still knew at this Universe hopping thing, but are we sure that Fuji is going to recover from his brain injury when we go to the next Universe?" Saeki asked.

"Yeah," said Kirihara. "I mean, people have come back from the dead. And, frankly, if he doesn't recover, then I'll just have to get a sex change and then kick his ass."

"What?" said everyone, even some random person who happened to be walking by and overhear the heinous statement.

"Well, I refuse to hit a girl!" said Kirihara. "So I would have to get a sex change so I could!"

"Okay, Kirihara, we don't want you hanging out with we Rokkakans anymore," said David as they tried to walk away from him, but he pursued them with tenacity.

Later, whence everyone finished picking out clothing that personalized to their preferences (and yes, Oshitari bought the hat), they all met up at the food court where Oishi had said he would meet up with them.

They oogled over each other's clothing for a little while before they realized they were manly men and promptly turned away from each other out of sheer awkwardness.

That's when they spotted Oishi and Girl!Fuji.

The first meeting wasn't even close to what they had been anticipating. Fuji and Oishi merely walked over and stood in front of the big group.

Finally, Oishi cleared his throat nervously. "Fuji, these are the friends I was telling you about."

"Oh," said Fuji. "Hi."

"Hi," everyone else chimed.

"There's uh…a lot more of you than I expected," Fuji noted.

"Hang on one second," Inui said as he took Oishi by the arm and led him aside out of earshot. "Oishi, did you try to explain to him about the Universe hopping thing?"

"No," Oishi answered. "I only said that you were a bunch of friends that were visiting for a while. Should I have him the truth?"

Inui considered both scenarios. "I don't think it matters," he answered finally. "Let's try to complete the mission without complicating this anymore than we already have."

"What _is _the mission?" Oishi asked.

Inui looked down at the remote that still said the number thirty-five. "We'll be getting it soon," he said. "When we get it, we'll go off and try to complete it to the best of our abilities without getting Fuji involved, all right?"

"That sounds fine," Oishi nodded.

They both went back over to where the group was still standing in complete silence while staring at Fuji who was trying to look elsewhere.

Once Oishi returned, Fuji grabbed him and dragged him off, once again out of earshot.

"I don't like your friends," Fuji said.

"Well, Fuji, they're your friends too," Oishi said.

"They are?" Fuji looked despaired.

"Yeah," Oishi answered. "From…uh…well, we went to another school before… and uh… yeah, they went to that school too. Well, some of them did. But we know them from other schools."

Fuji sighed. "All right…" he said. "I don't have an embarrassing past that involves tragic rejections with any of them, do I?"

"Uh…" Oishi mumbled.

"Because there were several of them that just gave me the disappointed vibe," Fuji reported.

Oishi was just about to comment on that, but Inui began conspicuously clearing his throat and waving the remote in the air. All the males leaned in to get a look at what the mission was going to be, and Oishi felt himself burn with curiosity.

"What are they doing?" Fuji whispered.

"I'll go find out," Oishi said. "You wait here."

Fuji looked a little miffed with that order as Oishi ran over to look at the mission.

"So much for not involving Fuji," Oishi commented as he looked at the mission that ordered, _Win Homecoming_.

"We can still complete that mission without involving Fuji," said Momo.

"That's right, but I think it's too late in the game to rig anything," said Inui.

"So what do we do?" Taka asked. "Not drastic measures I hope."

"I think drastic measures are our only choice," said Inui since he actually _likes _drastic measures.

"No way!" said Choutarou. "I bet if we could find the envelope with the results in it then we could easily change them!"

"And what makes us think that Fuji hasn't already won?" Eiji suggested.

"Are you willing to take that chance?" Oshitari inquired. "Because if he didn't then we'll have to wait another year for the next homecoming event."

"So what do we do?" Oishi asked.

"Choutarou's idea," said Shishido. "We crash the dance."

"Well, if we crash it too intensely then they might not get around to announcing the winner," Bane pointed out.

"So we'll send someone in to infiltrate," said Inui.

"You can't," Oishi said. "They check names at the door and unless you go to the school or are the date of someone who goes to the school, they won't let you in."

"Would you be able to get backstage and make the change if necessary?" Inui asked.

"No," Oishi shook his head. "I would have to have to be invisible or something."

"This idea _would _have worked if Ootori went to Oishi's school," said Atobe.

"Or if he was going to homecoming with someone who goes to the school," Oishi pointed out.

"But I'm not," said Choutarou.

They all paused.

"Wait, Oishi, you don't have a date, right?" Inui said.

"No, so what?" said Oishi, _far _too quickly since he had basically realized the same thing at exactly the same time.

"Hang on, are we toying with the notion that Ootori would go to the homecoming dance with Oishi?" said Eiji.

"Wait, we are?" Choutarou said, looking ultimately shocked.

"You two would only walk in together," Inui said. "It would just be for a second. You wouldn't _actually _be going together."

As you can imagine, there were several people who wore disgruntled faces after this, even though they all knew that this was their best option aside from murdering anyone else who was in the running. And there were far too many things that could go wrong in such a situation.

But they were unable to discuss it anymore because Fuji had decided he was bored with standing by himself and walked over to where they were.

"Sorry to bother you, I was just feeling awkward," Fuji said.

"That's fine," said Oishi, still looking a little morbid.

"What's with the look?" Fuji inquired.

"Oh, nothing," Oishi sighed. "Oh, right. Well guess what? I finally got a date to homecoming."

"That's great!" said Fuji. "Who?"

"Um…him," Oishi said, vaguely pointing at Choutarou, but since Choutarou was standing among a mass of about a dozen other guys, Fuji only continued to stand there looking quizzical.

"I have nothing to wear though!" Choutarou said randomly as if that would affect the plan they had already devised. He also made himself know so Fuji nodded his head and looked back at Oishi.

"I'm glad," said Fuji. "I know you said you didn't care about having a date, but I always knew you actually wanted one."

Oishi slapped his forehead.

"Has anyone even bothered asking Choutarou if he even wants to go?" Shishido said as he looked grumpy and crossed his arms.

"It's all right, Shishido," said Choutarou. "I'll go."

Fuji raised an eyebrow and looked at Oishi.

"What?" Oishi said.

"I didn't say anything," Fuji said.

There was more awkward silence.

"So, where are you all staying anyway?" Oishi asked the mass of males.

"Uh…in a…hotel?" Kirihara suggested suspiciously.

"Oh, all right," said Oishi. "Do you want to call it a day and we'll meet up tomorrow at around five so you can see us off?"

"That sounds good," said Inui. "But you'll have to give us directions to your house since we forgot."

"Sure," Oishi nodded.

What followed was quite the awkward parting of ways that involved Fuji and Oishi going one way and everyone else going the other way.

"You know," said Momo. "I wasn't going to say it, but I was kind of excited to see Fuji act like a freak because he thought he was a girl. But that wasn't entertaining at all."

"Really?" said Oshitari. "I figured at least _you _would find it amusing after you were so excited about seeing me dead and all."

"Who told you that?" Momo demanded.

"Everyone," Oshitari answered. "In fact, _you _told me."

"Oh yeah," said Momo.

"Let's find a hotel to stay at," Inui said. "We've got a lot of time to waste until tomorrow. Maybe we can devise a strategy of some sort so we can be absolutely positive nothing goes wrong."

"Isn't there someone else who can go instead of me?" Choutarou asked.

"I wish I had the power to be invisible!" Eiji exclaimed.

"You guys can go strategy crazy and all that," said Atobe. "But I'm just going to relax at the hotel. After the homecoming, you can come and get me."

"Question:" said Kirihara. "Are we going to get hotel rooms in pairs like we did last time? There's an odd number and no matter how you look at it, I'm going to be the one without a roommate."

"So?" said everyone.

Kirihara gave a sad sigh. "Never mind."


	30. Corsage

Channel 130- Corsage

"But I don't want to go to the prom with Oishi," Choutarou sort of whined as they all sat around and waited in Oishi's house. Oishi's fake mom remembered them from before and, even though she didn't like it, she let them stay again, especially since one of them was her "daughter's" date. Still, it annoyed her that they were all there mooching off her hospitality while her spawn was at another house getting ready.

"It's not the prom, it's homecoming," Momo said as he and everyone else pretty much ignored Choutarou because they were playing video games and fighting over whose turn was next.

"Don't worry, Choutarou," said Shishido since he, of course, was tending to his bestest friend's needs and not distracted with video games. "All you have to do is walk in with him. Then you can ditch him!"

"But I still don't want to…" Choutarou said in an angstful kind of way.

"It's not official or anything," Shishido assured him.

"But still!" Choutarou said. "I know people will always remember it and then remind me about it all the time to make fun of me."

"No one will do that!" Shishido promised Choutarou. "Besides, it's not even your fault."

"But they always bring up the fact that you get kidnapped a lot even though that's not your fault," Choutarou said.

"You know they're wrong, though," said Shishido. "I _so _don't get kidnapped all the time."

Choutarou was about to tell Shishido that he was wrong just as the door flung open and Eiji was standing there. The others looked around and realized that he hadn't been with them the entire time, so they were initially confused.

"I went out and got this for you to give to Oishi!" Eiji announced as he handed Choutarou a small plastic container.

Choutarou reluctantly took it and opened the top to see a flower.

"Is this a corsage?" Choutarou said despairingly.

"Yup!" said Eiji proudly. "If you're taking Oishi out, you have to do it right! And remember to hold the door for him, too!"

"Eiji, stop harassing Ootori," Inui ordered as he handed his controller off. "This arrangement is strictly for the completion of the mission and you shouldn't take it so seriously."

"I'm not!" said Eiji. "It's just that if Oishi gives him a boutonniere, then he'll be so embarrassed that he didn't have a corsage!"

"I'm not going to give Oishi a corsage," Choutarou said, trying to sound polite as he put the corsage on the table.

"What?" demanded Eiji. "But then—"

"If Choutarou doesn't want to give Oishi a corsage then he doesn't have to!" Shishido declared.

"Well, I say you have to give Oishi a corsage," Eiji crossed his arms.

"I think—" Inui started but then he heard some complaining and groaning from the video game group and realized that if he didn't run over and command someone to give him the controller then he was going to miss his turn. So he did that.

"I still don't have anything to wear!" Choutarou complained again.

"We could pool all our leftover money together and rent a tux," Saeki suggested.

"Or Ootori can just go sneak into a shop and steal himself one like he did when he robbed that bank," Kirihara said.

"Robbed a bank?" David said, looking amazed.

"_They _made me!" said Choutarou, pointing at everyone else.

"Yeah, that would be easier if he just did that," Inui shrugged.

"How would that be easier?" said Shishido. "I would think it would be easier to rent a tux as opposed to steal one."

"Not if you have _super powers_," Atobe pointed out.

"I don't like dishonesty," Choutarou frowned.

So everyone eventually surrendered their money to Choutarou and he went out to get himself a tux. Shishido went with him of course.

And, when the correct time rolled around, Oishi showed up at the house with Fuji and Fuji's date who will be known as Chester. Choutarou and Shishido returned just in time to see them.

And we'll just say that everyone had their token reactions to Oishi and Fuji's ball gowns. Their reactions involved pointing and laughing instead of wowing and complimenting.

This miffed Oishi's fake mom of course, and also put Fuji off slightly because as far as he was concerned, he looked gorgeous.

"Pictures!" said Oishi's fake mom since she's obviously bipolar as she took out a camera.

"I don't want pictures…" Oishi whined.

"Neither do I…" Choutarou whined too.

"Just humor me," ordered Oishi's fake mom.

After a few glam-shots, Oishi's fake mom finally let them all leave.

They were about to climb into the limo when Inui approached Oishi and asked, "When will they read the name for homecoming queen?"

"I'm not sure," Oishi admitted. "Probably sometime in the middle of the dance. I really just don't know."

"I guess we'll just remain idle until you get back," Inui sighed.

"If they read the announcement between nine and ten o'clock, I could always teleport us back too!" said Choutarou helpfully.

"The world is just a little better when your useful powers work at the right time," Inui said openly.

Choutarou frowned but Fuji called to them and ordered them to get into the limo or else they would be late. They climbed into the limo and drove off, leaving everyone else sitting in their dust.

"OH NO!" exclaimed Eiji as he picked the corsage up off the table. "Ootori didn't give Oishi the corsage!"

"Oh come on," said Momo. "You don't have to humiliate them _both_!"

"Besides, it's not like Oishi gave Ootori a boutonniere," Taka told Eiji.

"Still…" Eiji wept. "I'm sure Oishi's heart was broken!"

"Somehow I highly doubt that," said Oshitari, rolling his eyes.

However, the process of rolling his eyes, he happened to notice something strange on the other side of him; Shishido had gone all rigid. As his eyes slowly opened, he revealed them to be evil and menacing, much like when they had fought him in the Super Hero Universe.

"Um…" Oshitari started.

His mumble had gotten the attention of those around him and they all happened to spot Shishido as he went all medieval and whipped his spear out of his utility belt.

He took a swipe at them, but they all ducked their heads just in the nick of time so none of them were decapitated.

"Shishido is going to kill us all!" Eiji practically shrieked as Shishido took another stab at them but Taka took his sword out of his sheath (since even though he changed his clothes, he still carries around his sword) and blocked the attack. And, since it was just a regular spear, it shattered after making contact with Taka's sword.

Shishido jumped back from them and looked like he was about to attack them again, but then he turned and ran away, leaving the rest of them once again standing in the dust.

"Wait, why did Shishido just turn evil?" Bane questioned.

"That's what I would like to know," said Kirihara. "I mean, that's definitely the brainwashing from the Super Hero Universe, right?"

"Right," said Inui.

"But everything resets when we change Universes," Kirihara said. "So he should be back to normal too."

"Not necessarily," Inui said. "The brainwashing must have been a psychological or emotional thing. As we saw with Kentarou the first time around when he went crazy and remained that way, that sort of thing doesn't reset when we change Universes."

"Someone brainwashed Shishido?" David said, looking quizzical.

"All right…" said Atobe, ignoring David. "I guess I can accept that loophole, as ludicrous as it is. But what triggered his sudden evilness?"

"Dr. Brain told us that a secret word triggers it," Inui replied. "So it could be a number of words since I don't remember the exact sentence that changed him last time. If could, I would be able to cross reference the words in that one to the conversation we had prior to when Shishido changed and find the commonalities. By process of elimination, I would be able to potentially figure out what the secret word is."

"Um…" said everyone.

"Can't we just have another flashback?" Itsuki asked.

"Flashbacking is something that only happens in the Superhero Universe," Inui replied.

"How do you know?" questioned Saeki.

"Because I've been trying to do it for other things because I thought it would be useful in certain situations," Inui said. "But I have had no success."

"Oh well," said Eiji. "Let's think. What did we say right before Shishido turned evil?"

"Do we have to bother with that right now?" said Atobe with a sigh. "I think we should go to this school where the homecoming is and wait there until the winner is announced so we can change Universes as soon as possible. Shishido isn't even a concern."

"He has to be near us when we complete the mission in order for us to change," Oshitari said. "Remember?"

"He's probably running around town wreaking havoc right now," Taka said.

"So let's find him, kill him and _then _go to the school where homecoming is and wait there until the winner is announced so we can change Universes as soon as possible," Atobe said.

"How can we kill Shishido?" said Bane. "Isn't he a superhero?"

"Well yeah, technically," said Momo. "But he's only a sidekick. He doesn't have any powers."

"But he's a good fighter and he has a utility belt that defies the laws of physics," Inui said.

"That's true," said Momo. "But I bet we could take him!"

"You're probably right," Inui nodded.

"Definitely right," said Atobe, taking his gun out of his holster since he kept it with him too. "Do you think if I shot this it would hit Shishido or do you think it would hit Kirihara?"

"We might as well try," Inui said.

"No!" said Kirihara. "We might as well try? What kind of thing to say is that? You wouldn't have said that if it was _you _who might potentially be shot!"

"That is a fairly accurate statement," Inui admitted as he took out _his _gun. "I'll just shoot him then. My one shot hits whatever I want it to."

"Thank you," said Kirihara, crossing his arms.

"What is it with everyone carrying your weapons around?" said Saeki.

"We feel safe with them," Momo said as he patted his sword.

"How do you function back in our _regular _Universe?" Saeki said.

"We're not in our regular Universe, are we?" said Momo with a slight glare.

"I say we split up and hunt for Shishido," said Oshitari, loading his gun so he could join the armed group. "We'll meet at the school at a certain time and hope that one of the groups has killed Shishido by then."

"Hey so, Shishido will come back to life in the next Universe, right?" Bane asked.

"DUH!" everyone yelled impatiently at him.

"Geez, sorry," said Bane, backing off.

"Is it really that great of an idea to split up?" said Taka. "I mean, then Shishido could potentially pick us all off one by one. He's a really good fighter so he'd probably be able to overwhelm even a group of three."

"Do you have a different suggestion?" Oshitari said.

"Well, I think we should all stay together," Taka shrugged. "He's bound to show up sooner or later, and when he does we can just all ambush him at the same time and kill him as a joint effort."

"I think you're giving Shishido too much credit," said Eiji.

"Hang on a second," Inui said. "Taka, what makes you think Shishido will show up eventually?"

"Well," Taka started. "The other times he turned evil, he fought us. Dr. Brain probably programmed him to fight us."

"He didn't fight _us_," Inui said. "He fought _Ootori_."

They all stared at Inui.

"What are you saying?" Itsuki asked.

"He's probably gone off to find Ootori to fight him," Inui said.

"Which means he'll probably crash the homecoming dance," Kirihara reasoned. "And if they don't make the homecoming announcement then we can't complete the mission."

"We have to get to the school as soon as possible," Inui decided.

They looked off down the road.

"Does anyone know where it is?" David asked.


	31. Gravy

Channel 131- Gravy

"That guy back there," Oishi said as he and Choutarou entered the dance area. They had to keep their voices down or else Fuji would hear their evil scheming. "He's the class president. If anyone has the results then he will."

"How am I supposed to find out if he has the results without sounding suspicious?" Choutarou wondered.

"We have to find out who the winner is _before _they announce who it is," Oishi said.

"Can't you both just wait like everyone else?" said Fuji since he happened to overhear the conversation.

Choutarou and Oishi just stared at Fuji for a few seconds and hoped he would just forget about his comment and everything he heard. He finally rolled his eyes and scanned the room for a table as they entered the room with the loud music.

"You know, this music is just a teensie bit too loud," Choutarou decided with a heavy sigh.

"We won't be here long," said Oishi. "Besides, it's a good thing because then no one will be able to hear us talking."

The two of them waited until Fuji and his date, Chester, were out of sight and lost in the crowd. Then they darted off into a secluded corner to do things that did not involve anything remotely romantic, but still quite scandalous.

"Okay," said Oishi. "Can you read minds?"

"Read minds?" Choutarou thought back into his arsenal of powers. "I think…"

"You _think_?" Oishi repeated.

"Well yeah," said Choutarou. "I mean, it's hard to keep track of all the powers I have."

"That's for sure," Oishi said.

The two of them stood there for a few seconds.

"_Well_?" Oishi said, sounding angry. Well, not that angry. He's only Oishi after all.

"Well what?" Choutarou said, looking a little startled.

"Can you read minds?"

"I just told you it's hard to remember," Choutarou said.

"Then try reading someone's mind to see if you can," Oishi ordered.

"Oh, that would work," Choutarou nodded.

He scanned the crowd for an unsuspecting victim. When his eyes finally settled on a girl dancing provocatively with her significant other, and he subsequently made a face.

"What was she thinking about?" Oishi asked.

"I haven't done it yet," Choutarou said. "I'm just disgusted with her behavior."

Oishi blinked and was just about to reprimand Choutarou, but then he looked at the girl as well, and the two of them stood there together looking disgusted with her behavior.

Finally they snapped out of it.

"Can you read minds?" Oishi said.

"Yes," Choutarou nodded.

"What was she thinking?" Oishi asked out of sheer curiosity.

"I didn't read her mind," Choutarou said. "I just recalled that I can read minds so I didn't have to."

"Oh," Oishi said, rolling his eyes. "Well, anyway. So you don't have to look suspicious in front of the class president, how about you read his mind to see if he knows the results."

"All right, but if he knows the results, how are we going to change them?" Choutarou asked.

Oishi was just about to answer but without Inui there to suggest drastic measures, he was at a loss with how to deal with the situation.

And it was a good thing that another situation presented itself just then so he didn't have to deal with the previous one.

But the new situation was quite the dire one.

Evil Shishido dropped down from the ceiling right on top of Choutarou and knocked him down, _only _because Choutarou was surprised by the sudden assault! Within a second or two, Choutarou managed to flip Shishido over and throw him across the room, which of course caused chaos in the dance as the music stopped.

"Was that Shishido?" Oishi said.

"Oh no!" said Choutarou. "It was! You know what this means, don't you?"

"Yeah!" said Oishi, putting his hands on his hips. "There was another way into the dance so you didn't _have _to come as my date which means the others only came up with that idea to humiliate me more."

Choutarou paused a moment. "Yeah, that," he agreed. "But more importantly, Shishido is evil again!"

"Again?" Oishi questioned.

"Yes!" said Choutarou. "But I thought for sure everything would reset once we went to the next Universe so this doesn't make any sense at all!"

They didn't have time to speculate, however, because Shishido was up after a moment's notice and advancing towards Choutarou.

"I don't want to fight you, Shishido!" Choutarou said.

"Just knock him out," Oishi said. "He's making a scene!"

Shishido threw a few punches, but Choutarou dodged them and held Shishido at bay. After a moment of struggling, Choutarou once again picked up Shishido and tossed him across the room. He landed on a table, smashing it into a zillion pieces and forcing many innocent bystanders to leap to the side in screaming fear.

"At this rate, they'll cancel the dance and there won't be a homecoming winner!" Oishi said to Choutarou.

"You're right," Choutarou said. "I have to take the fight someplace else!"

"But you have to stay and find out the results and switch them if you have to!" Oishi said.

"I can't be two places at once!" said Choutarou.

"You can't?" Oishi whined. He luckily turned around just in the nick of time to dive to the side just as Shishido hurled a chair in his direction. Choutarou deflected it so Oishi would have been fine even if he hadn't dodged dramatically.

"Shishido!" Choutarou shouted. "You have to stop! This isn't who you are! You're being controlled by the evilness of Dr. Brain and Squidbeard!"

"Dr. Brain and Squidbeard?" Oishi repeated, eyebrows raised.

"Super villains," Choutarou said, and then turned back to Shishido who happened to have gotten closer in Choutarou's moment of distraction. And now he had a spear.

Luckily, Choutarou caught the spear before it connected with his face. Though, it's not like it would have mattered anyway since he is impervious after all. And, since he was at a loss of anything else to do, he once again hurled Shishido across the room and shattered many an expensive item.

"You can't just keep doing this!" Oishi said, standing up. "You can't just throw him across the room every time he gets close. You have to do something about him!"

"Like what?" Choutarou said.

"I don't know!" said Oishi. "…What's he doing?"

They both watched as Shishido seemed to get distracted by the buffet table. All the other students who were at the dance continued to try to avoid anything that had to do with Shishido since it was pretty obvious that he had everything to do with the commotion, so they allowed him to stalk the table as he searched for something intently.

"Oh no," Choutarou said.

"What?" said Oishi. "What's oh no?"

"Shishido knows my weakness!" Choutarou answered. "If he uses it against me, I'm done for!"

Oishi thought of a thousand things he could say all at once. But, instead of anything intelligent or constructive, he went with, "Your weakness is something edible?"

"Don't make fun of me!" Choutarou said. He looked back over at Shishido who had picked up a large bowl and was now making his way back over to them. Choutarou froze and his eyes were wide as Shishido brought the bowl back and then sploshed the contents in Choutarou's direction.

Since it was obvious that his homecoming date wasn't about to do anything heroic, Oishi got up and pushed Choutarou out of the way which, of course, caused him to get completely drenched in the mysterious liquid that had just been thrown his way.

"This was expensive!" Oishi complained, looking down at his ruined dress. Then he smelled what was on it. "What is this? Is this…gravy?"

He looked at Choutarou.

"Is this gravy?" he inquired.

"I don't know," said Choutarou defensively. "Is it?"

"Yes," said Oishi. "Your weakness is gravy?"

"Don't say it so loudly!" Choutarou said, looking around to make sure there were no super villains about. But, as it would happen, Shishido was about and therefore the two of them had to engage in mortal combat.

Just then, a large group that was littered with pirates, knights, detectives and many other equally ridiculous characters ran over to where Oishi was as Choutarou took the battle with Shishido to the other side of the room instead of just tossing him over there again.

"Oishi!" Eiji said. "What are you all covered in?"

"Gravy," said Oishi, still looking at Choutarou. "Just…gravy."

"As little sense as that makes, there are more pressing matters at hand," said Inui.

"Such as the fact that people are getting into the dance without having a date that goes to this school!" Oishi put his hands on his hips. "And the more I think about it, the more I realize that Ootori could have _easily _snuck into the dance simply by turning invisible!"

"Well, it's not our fault that you didn't think of that yesterday," Momo pointed out.

"Why are you covered in gravy?" Eiji said because we all know Eiji has a one track mind when it comes to Oishi. As a matter of fact, Oishi _is _his one track mind.

"Never mind," said Oishi, waving his hand and then gesturing boldly towards the battling Silver Pair. "Look at them! They're ruining the homecoming dance! They're going to cancel it and not announce a winner!"

"That will be a pickle," said David.

Bane looked at him and appeared puzzled.

"What?" said David.

"I'm trying to decide if that was a pun and if I need to harm you for it," Bane replied.

"It wasn't a pun," said David. "It was just a stupid choice of words."

"Everyone, I am at a risk of being a girl forever, here," said Oishi.

"And I'm at a risk of being black and white forever," Atobe sighed, looking at his hand with despair.

"How are we going to deal with them?" Itsuki asked, referring to the Silver Pair and not about the problems of others.

"We have to figure out the secret word," Inui explained.

"How do we do that?" said Taka. "Aside from saying every word in the dictionary and hoping that the secret word begins with A?"

"We need a glass half full view," said Kirihara. "That's _your _job."

"Oh," said Taka. "Well…I'm sure the secret word will begin with A."

"That's better," said Kirihara.

"Or we could kill him," Oshitari suggested with a casual shrug.

"Didn't we already come to that conclusion?" questioned Saeki.

"We did," Inui nodded as he pulled his gun from his belt and aimed it at the battle.

The crack of his gun rang through the air as the bullet sailed towards the Silver Pair and, of course, hit Shishido. Choutarou looked absolutely horrified as Shishido fell to the ground in a heap.

"Hey!" said Choutarou as he turned around. "Which one of you killed Shishido?"

Inui quickly hid the smoking gun behind his gun but it was useless because everyone was pointing at him.

"Can we please just find out the results of this homecoming queen?" Oishi said. "I want to leave. Now."

"Well, unfortunately we can't yet because—" Inui started but then his pocket started to beep.

Everyone looked at him with confused expressions as he pulled out the remote and peered at it.

"It seems as though we have completed our mission," Inui said.

"How?" said Taka. "Did Fuji win?"

"Wait," said Inui. "The mission was 'win homecoming'. Perhaps it meant we had to win the battle that occurred at homecoming."

"i.e. Kill Shishido?" Oshitari suggested.

"I guess," Inui shrugged.

"How many missions are going to involve killing Shishido?" Choutarou demanded.

"So can we go now?" Bane requested.

"We have to be all together," said Inui. "Where is Fuji?"

"He probably fled with the rest of the students," Oishi answered.

"Oishi," said Eiji. "_Why _are you covered in gravy?"

"It doesn't matter, Eiji!" said Oishi. "Shishido threw some gravy on me!"

"…Why?" Eiji said, scratching the top of his head.

"No reason!" said Choutarou immediately.

"Right…" Oishi sighed, sad that he knew such a great secret and he was too much of a nice guy to go around revealing it to everyone who wanted to know so badly.

To make a potentially long story (and maybe even quite the drawn out extra chapter) short, they eventually found Fuji and teleported to the next Universe without having to explain anything to him.

And then all hell broke loose.

"I'm _still _brainwashed?" Shishido raved as he stood there looking angry with his arms crossed and a pout on his face. "I can't believe I had to fight Choutarou again!"

"It's all right Shishido," said Choutarou honestly.

"Someone give me a weapon so I can kill myself," said Fuji.

"Fuji, I _tried _to explain things to you, but I knew it would just confuse you!" said Oishi. "It's all right."

Fuji put his head in his hand and twitched slightly.

"No really, it's all right," said Oishi, and he was being honest too. "Even though I definitely wish we could all forget everything that happened, it's important that we keep moving."

Then the fifteen tennis players felt a strange sensation befall them that started first in the pit of their stomachs that eventually crawled into their brains. Abruptly, the entire group collapsed into a big heap simultaneously, all of them in complete silence.

They remained that way until nightfall.


	32. Memories

Channel 32- Memories

When the moon got to its highest point, Inui was the first person to wake up. He looked around quizzically at his situation and slowly got to his feet as the others started to stir as well. He brushed his clothing off, which made him ponder about the strange garments momentarily, and happened to notice that everyone else was coming to as well, and had basically the same initial things to do as him.

"What happened?" Fuji was the first one to speak.

"I don't know," Saeki said since he happened to be standing next to Fuji.

"Who are you?" said Fuji stepping away from him.

"Who are _you_?" Saeki retorted.

Fuji bumped into Oishi and looked at him, confused.

"Don't worry," said Oishi, peering around at everyone else. "I don't know him either."

"I don't know him," Shishido took a step forward. "And now that I think about it, I don't know any of you."

"I was noticing that as well," said Inui. "Does anyone know anyone else?"

Everyone looked each other up and down, slowly and carefully, but they had no luck.

"All right, who are you then?" said Itsuki to Shishido since he had successfully made himself the center of attention.

"I…uh…" Shishido started, taking a step back again. "Uh…I don't know."

Then the others realized that they also did not know their own selves.

"Okay…" said Taka. "No one can remember anything. We've all lost our memories."

"How?" said Eiji fretfully.

"Maybe we're part of a test of some sort," Oshitari suggested. "And uh… to see how we'd all react."

"Do we get paid for it?" Atobe questioned.

Oshitari shrugged.

"Seems pretty elaborate for a seemingly pointless test," Inui said.

"Do you have a better idea?" Oshitari challenged.

Inui paused a moment and realized that he didn't.

"Maybe we all got really drunk," Bane said.

"I think I'm too young to drink," Momo tried.

"Should we all panic?" Choutarou suggested.

"I think a better course of action would be to look around and see where we are for some clues," Inui said.

So they all looked around to discover they were in the middle of a forest in a small clearing of trees.

"Well, we learned lots from that," Kirihara said, crossing his arms. "I don't know about all of you, but _I _have a horse."

Then Kirihara pet his horse proudly, and everyone else looked jealous until Taka happened to notice that he had one as well.

"Ha," said Taka, petting his own horse.

"I'm not in a competition," said Kirihara, pretending to above it all.

"Maybe we're somehow related," said Taka. "I mean, well, not family wise since we don't really look the same."

"Maybe you're mortal enemies," Eiji guessed, and everyone looked at him intensely. "I mean, just look at the way they're dressed. One is so knightly and heroic and the others is…evil and not so friendly looking."

"Speaking of the way we're _all _dressed, do you happen to notice that we all seem rather…" Saeki started, but then he trailed off, at a loss for the right word. "Well, you know. Completely different from one another?"

"Maybe we're going to a costume party," said Choutarou as he looked at himself. "And I'm going as…a boring guy in a suit. That can't be right."

"I've got to have a wallet," said Shishido, fishing through his pockets. "Aha, look. An ID. Look, I'm a reporter. Shishido Ryou."

Choutarou did the same thing as well. "I'm Ootori Choutarou. I'm a reporter too."

"We must know each other then," Shishido suggested.

"Seems plausible," Choutarou agreed.

"I'm a doctor," Saeki announced as he looked at his own wallet. "So I would prefer if you all referred to me as such. Doctor Saeki to you all."

"And I'm a doctor too," said Itsuki. "Doctor Itsuki."

"I wonder if we work in the same place," said Saeki.

"There's a name on the bottom of this tennis racket," Fuji said. "Fuji Shuuko."

"Same here," said Oishi. "Oishi Shuuko."

"Hey, we have the same name," Fuji said. "And we both play tennis."

"And we're both girls," Oishi noticed.

Fuji looked down and noticed this fact as well.

"We must be best friends," Fuji said finally. Oishi agreed and the two of them hugged.

"I'm a detective," said Atobe. "You can all call me Atobe."

"Ditto," Oshitari said. "Except call me Oshitari, thanks."

"Is everyone noticing that we're all in pairs?" Inui said suddenly.

"Right, cause we're both pirates and everything," Momo said.

"Pirates," Inui put his hands on his hips. "That seems so ludicrous to me."

"I don't have an ID," said Momo, checking his clothing. "I wish I had some kind of indication of at least my name…"

Then he happened to notice he was wearing a nametag that said, 'Hello! My name is Momo!'

"Well look at that," said Momo. "That's my name everyone! Too bad none of you have a nametag."

"Yes, too bad," said Inui. "Well, it doesn't matter. My hat is bigger than yours so obviously I'm the captain. So you can just call me Captain until I figure out my real name."

"Fine…" said Momo, looking a little disappointed.

"My ID says my name is Seis," said Bane, looking skeptical. "But that doesn't feel right. I think the ID is fake."

"Mine says my name is Sept," David frowned as well. "So my name means seven, and your name means six."

"These are definitely fake," Bane agreed.

"Sept sounds so stupid anyway," David said. "I want to make up a name for myself."

"My name is engraved on my sword here," said Taka. "Sir Takashi. I'm a sir."

"I can't find my name," whined Eiji. "I don't have a name."

"I don't have a name either," said Kirihara.

"Let's name each other," Eiji said, sounding a little excited.

"All right, just don't name me anything stupid," Kirihara warned.

"How about…Richard?" Eiji said.

Kirihara stared at Eiji like he was an idiot. "I'll name myself."

"What?" said Eiji. "Why?"

"Because Richard is a stupid name," Kirihara answered.

"No it's not!" said Eiji.

"You would never name yourself Richard," Kirihara pointed out.

"Yes I would," said Eiji. "And I will. I'm Richard, everyone."

"Okay, so what should my name be?" Kirihara said. "Is there anyone else who's dressed like me?"

He looked around and saw that everyone took a step closer to the person they were similar to. Then he realized he was alone.

"I'm by myself?" Kirihara said. "That's not fair!"

"Maybe me and Richard killed your partner in crime already," Taka suggested.

"If you did then I am offended," Kirihara said.

"You're next!" Eiji said.

"How dare you!" said Kirihara.

"Hold on," said Inui. "That's enough. I think instead of arguing, we should all think rationally on what we have to do to get our memories back."

"I don't think I want to be associated with your kind, Captain," said Atobe.

"My kind?" said Inui.

"Yes," said Atobe. "You know… evil people. You're a pirate so therefore you're evil. I'm a detective so therefore I'm good."

"The logic makes sense to me," said Momo.

"Well, if you two are evil then you must be on my team," said Kirihara. "So you guys can name me."

"You can be Bob," said Momo.

"That's lame," said Kirihara, crossing his arms.

"There are three obvious types of people here right now," said Oshitari. "The good guys, the bad guys and the civilians. I vote that we split up before the bad guys get their memory back and start killing us."

"I like that plan," said Taka.

"Right, right!" said Momo. "I get it. The three of us are evil. And then the detectives and the knight are good."

"I guess…" said Inui, looking a little reluctant. "As evil doers, it's our job to… kill the civilians. I guess."

"But we call one of the doctors!" said Kirihara.

"Hey!" said Itsuki and Saeki.

"It's fair," Shishido said.

"Hardly," said Saeki.

"If we get injured in our battles," Kirihara reasoned. "I think it's only fair that we have one of the doctors. You guys don't need two."

"Well there're so many more of us," Atobe pointed out.

"Which is exactly why we should get one of them," Kirihara said.

"Bob has a point," said Inui. "You guys have to give us one of the doctors. In real life, one of them is probably evil and on our side anyway."

"I highly doubt that," said Saeki, crossing his arms and looking irritated.

But Saeki and Itsuki did Rock Paper Scissors to decide who would be he evil doctor, and Saeki lost so he went over to where Kirihara, Momo and Inui were.

"Well, now that's settled," said Oshitari. "I think on account of the fact that we have all lost our memories, we should allow ourselves to split up and begin our battle to the death in the morning."

"Good idea," everyone complimented him.

"Since I am a pirate captain, I reason I must have a ship," Inui said to his cohorts of Momo, Kirihara and Saeki. "So let's find that ship."

"I still don't think I'm evil," said Saeki.

The four of them disappeared into the trees, leaving everyone else behind to sigh with relief.

"All right, let's set up a camp and a strategy to protect the civilians," said Taka. "Which one of us do you think is the boss?"

"Probably me," said Atobe.

"Why do you say that?" said Oshitari. "We're both obviously the same rank."

"It must be me then," said Taka. "I was knighted after all."

Oshitari and Atobe frowned at that notion but they couldn't argue it.

"Okay," said Taka. "I'm the boss. I'm in charge. I can do that."

"And I'm your personal squire, Sir Takashi!" said Eiji. "Good ol' Richard here, ready to serve you!"

"That's nice," said Taka, a little unsure of what he was going to do.

"Maybe we should write down everything that's happening," said Choutarou to Shishido. "We are reporters after all."

"Yeah, and it would be good to have a written account of what's going on anyway," said Shishido. "So once we get our memories back, we can read over the stuff again and figure out exactly what happened."

"We're so useful," said Choutarou happily.

Meanwhile, Fuji and Oishi were standing idly by, still under the impression that they were best friends ever.

Then Bane and David walked over.

"So…" said Bane. "Me and Sept were talking and we happened to notice something. We're two young helpless civilians, you two are young helpless civilians…"

"And?" said Oishi.

"And it's just that there doesn't seem to be anything specific about the four of us!" said Bane.

"Yeah, I mean," David started. "There are pirates and detectives and reporters and doctors and knights and cowboys and… then there's the four of us."

"And?" Oishi repeated.

"We think that maybe our entire point for being here is to be helpless civilians," said Bane.

"What are you guys getting at?" Fuji said.

"Me and Seis are guessing that we're brothers since our names are kind of similar," said David. "And considering you guys are best friends and everything, do you think that maybe…we're…I don't know…"

"Going out?" Bane tried.

Fuji and Oishi stared at Bane and David, then at each other, and then back at Bane and David.

"…Maybe…" Fuji said uneasily.

"Let's not jump to conclusions, though," said Oishi. "Let's just be cool about it until we're pretty sure because I really don't feel any familiarity towards you guys whatsoever."

"Hey number guys," said Taka as he walked over. "Do you think you could collect up some firewood so we could get a fire going?"

"Sure!" said David. "We can do that!"

"Do you girls…uh, want to come?" Bane said as Taka walked away.

"Uh…okay…" said Fuji.

They awkwardly started to link arms before realizing that they couldn't possibly evaluate who belonged to who so they all just walked in a weird blobish line type formation as they searched for some nice firewood. You know, as opposed to that not so nice firewood or, even worse, the mean firewood.

Will our favorite tennis players _ever _get their memories back? Stay tuned for a both lengthy and special POV chapter coming up next!!


	33. Wish Granter

Channel 133- Wish Granter

Something about these people is very, very and somewhat eerily familiar. It's a wonder to me why they would make such a wish as to lose their own memories at such a crucial time, but I'm not one to judge. I'm just here to grant the wishes and leave. Still, I do hear that it would be more conventional for me to make myself known to them and inform them that they each get a wish, but I don't find myself so conventional.

After all, as far as I can remember, I never used to do this. As in the whole wish business. I don't like to use the term "genie" because frankly that just sounds stupid to me. I prefer "wish granter."

Maybe someone put some kind of spell on me to make me think I hadn't always been a wish granter. For some reason, I'm under the impression that I used to be a student attending middle school and playing tennis, but if I appeared in this new world complete with these new strange abilities to grant whatever wish someone requests, a piece of me feels as though one should be more plausible than the other.

Maybe I'm insane. But still, as I look down at this group of people that just made the incredibly stupid wish, I'm feeling unsettlingly curious as to what they're going to do next.

They split themselves up into two teams, oddly enough. But, as a bystander, the teams didn't seem to make sense. Four versus eleven seems unfair to me. I do wish they would sort out their problems and make more wishes. There are so many of them and no one is making any wishes

"We have to find a way to protect ourselves before they come back," the shiny one told the dull colored ones.

"What are we supposed to do?" said the longer haired one impatiently. "There are too many civilians we have to keep an eye out for. If they even get hold of one of them then we're in trouble."

"This is not something I want to deal with minutes after losing my memories," said the other one. "For all we know, we're going about this all wrong. What if we really were just on our way to a costume party?"

"There are too many people involved who just weren't in costume, remember?" the shiny one pointed out.

"So, again, I ask my question," said the longer haired detective. "What are we supposed to do?"

"I think we have to give the civilians ways to defend themselves," said the one who calls himself Richard. "I mean, we can't protect all of them! Maybe some of them have the ability to protect themselves."

I leaned back in the tree I'm spying from and wonder what I can do to bide my time until someone makes a wish. Here I am with all the power anyone could ever ask for, but I just find myself incredibly bored with it all.

"It would be nice if some of them could at least help us fight when the time comes," said the shiny one.

It would be nice if he had said 'I wish' some of them could help them fight.

I'm tired of these people. I left to go to find where the other group was. They seem to have made their way to the beach and are now looking for a pirate ship. How interesting, but only for a limited amount of time, I think.

"This doesn't make any sense," said the one with the biggest hat. "If I'm the captain of a pirate ship, then obviously I have to have a ship."

"Maybe it got sunk and that's how we got stuck here," suggested the first mate.

"That's one possibility," said the one mounted on a horse.

"Or," started the doctor. "There could be no pirate ship at all. There could be no good or evil and there might just be circumstances that led the three of you to wear those outfits."

"Maybe," said the captain. "But that sounds irrational."

The doctor crossed his arms and sat down. "I wish you would just find your ship already."

There was a wish. I point at the water and conjure up a pirate ship. I don't know where it's from, but it must be the captain's ship since it just materialized where I requested it. The four on the beach only take a few seconds before they notice it.

"I don't see a shuttle boat anywhere, so it looks like we're swimming," shrugged the first mate.

"Leave behind anything you can and let's go," said the captain as he turned his pockets inside out and the other three did the same. Only a few minutes later, they're gone.

I'm a little disappointed. I could have had more fun if maybe I had just ignored that last wish. I jump down out of the tree and look at the small pile of stuff they left in the sand. Nothing seems to interesting or other worldly until I discover a strange box.

It's familiar. I've seen it before. It looks like a television remote control. But do televisions exist? Not where I am. If televisions don't exist, then there should be no remote control. But then again, if televisions and remote controls don't exist, then why do I know what they are?

I turn the remote over and see a screen. There was a big number '35' displayed on the front. No matter how many buttons I pushed or how much I shook the remote, nothing else happened.

Now that got me thinking.

Do I know these guys from somewhere?

Well, those guys were definitely gone for now, so I decided to head back to where the others were getting ready for an ultimate battle.

"I think we're adjusting pretty well for people who have no idea about anything," said the shorter reporter to the taller one.

"Yeah, but don't you just wish we had our memories back?" the shorter one sighed.

I wish he had said that he wished he had their memories back.

I suddenly realized that it was impossible for me to inquire about the remote device because they all had no memories. So I got comfortable in the tree again and continued spying, hoping someone would let a useful wish slip, like the first mate pirate did when he was wondering what his name was.

No one was really saying anything. They were mostly sitting around and trying to get adjusted to their situation. I took this opportunity to get my first good look at them. Up until that point, I had only really been listening to their conversations in hopes to grant a wish, but now that they weren't bothering to talk, I guess this is how I was going to pass the time.

It was uncomfortable for a minute. I recognized a lot of them but I didn't know where from. Had I seen them before since that day when I had appeared in this strange place or did I see them in a dream of that other life I was under the impression I had? Or is it possible that this world is the dream and the other world is reality?

Just when I'm about to jump down there and command them to wish to have their memories back, I hear an annoying noise, which clues me in to the fact that the one who found my lamp is now requesting a wish. He only has two more wishes and then I have to go back inside the lamp until someone else finds it so I don't necessarily want to grant _his _wishes but I have no choice but to leave the strangers behind and appear to where he is.

He is sitting pathetically on the beach, looking sullen and lonely. When I appear, he is surprised at first but quickly remembers that he had just rubbed the lamp and therefore my presence should be expected.

"Yeah?" I said.

"I want to make my second wish!" he announced, standing up.

"Tired of your first wish already?" I said, trying to distract him.

He nodded. "Well," he started. "I thought that wish rhythm and music on my side, I wouldn't have to ask for anything more, but I was wrong!"

"I see," I rolled my eyes at him. His first wish had been rather ridiculous.

"I wish to be the richest man on the planet!" he declared.

"Ah, originality, I see," I noted.

I looked in the distance at the hill that was overlooking the beach. Because I'm too lazy right now, I decided that that's exactly where his enormous estate was going to be. With limited effort, I created a gigantic mansion and then an even larger building next to it that was filled to the top with money. This is just because I'm secretly a fan of Duck Tales and I would like to see someone swim in their money.

Right after I have that thought, I decide that I am in a dream world. Now I'm sure of it.

The master is too excited about his giant home that he doesn't bother saying anything else to me as he sprints towards it as fast as he can. I need to find a way out of here before he makes his last wish.

So I head back to where the others are waiting obliviously in the forest and, instead of hiding from them, I stroll right into their little base camp.

Initially, they're all alarmed, but I decided to take advantage of the fact that they have no memories.

"Hey guys," I said.

They all look at each other and then back at me. "…Hey?" they say hesitantly.

"Don't tell me you don't remember me," I said.

"That's the thing," said the one in shiny armor. "We can't remember anything. We've all lost our memories!"

"Oh dear," I said. "That's a tragedy. Don't you just wish—?"

"Wishing is for people who don't know how to take charge!" said the one who calls himself Richard. "We're past that stage! We're working to fight off the pirates so sitting around wishing for things isn't going to help!"

"It might," I said.

"Do you still have your memories?" asked one of the detectives.

"Yup," I replied. "Don't you wish you did too?"

"It's not that simple," said the shorter reporter. "Just wishing for things isn't going to make something happen."

"It might," I said.

"If we're going to stand around wishing for things, we might as well wish for a giant fort to protect us from the bad guys, right?" said the doctor.

"Hey, that's a good idea…in theory," said one of the girls.

"Unfortunately, it's pointless to make a wish like that," said the other girl.

"Not necessarily," I said.

How annoying. No one is making any wishes. They're just talking about making wishes.

"So how do we know you?" asked the shiny one.

"I'm part of the little group," I answered. "We're traveling around triumphing over evil."

"I knew it!" said Richard.

"I just got separated," I said. "And I wandered around until I found you guys and finally I did. But it seems pretty useless since you guys are all memory-less. I sure do wish you all had your memories back. Don't you?"

"Uh…" they all stuttered.

All they had to do was say "yes."

"We were trying to think of possible explanations of how we ended up like this," said one of the reporters. "So far, we've come up with that we might have been part of a test or that we all got really drunk."

"But we don't think that's right because we don't feel old enough to drink," the other reporter added.

"And there's no alcohol around anywhere," one of the random guys pointed out.

"That too."

"You know," I said. "That is a really productive way to spend your time. But sometimes all you have to do is close your eyes and _wish_—"

"What is it with you and wishing?" said one of the detectives. "That is no way to solve the problem."

"I'm a believer in the supernatural," I said.

"Well, you go on wishing for the impossible while we try to figure out real ways to get our memories back."

I watched as they all started to putter around as if that was a real way to get their memories back.

They were outrageously stupid. All of them. And it made me mad, but mostly just annoyed and a little bored.

"That's right," I said. "I guess you all forgot about my little condition, considering you've lost your memories and all."

"Condition?" said the dark haired girl, sounding concerned.

"Yeah," I said, making something up on the spot. "I have a fixation on magic, and sometimes I like to pretend it's real by asking people to make wishes and then trying to make them come true. Sometimes, if I don't get what I want, I throw a violent fit."

"Fine, fine," said the shiny guy. "Would it make you feel better if we made a wish so you could have something to do?"

"Very much so," I nodded.

"All right," he said. "I wish we all had our memories back. Now you have something to do."

"That's true," I said.

I snapped my fingers and instantly all eleven of them looked completely bewildered and stumbled around for a few seconds, holding their heads and groaning a little bit.

"Hey, I'm remembering everything…" was the basic response everyone was saying.

"See?" I said.

They slowly come to and relax. A few of them argue for a little while, then they look concerned over the fact that they're missing some of the others, and finally they turn their attention to me.

"Hey, we know you, don't we?" said one of them.

"I think so," I shrug.

"Yes, I definitely know you," said the light haired girl as she stood up, strode right over to me and, much to my surprise, slapped me right across the face.

I can't say it hurt so much, but it most definitely caught me off guard. And just as I turned back to her and expected to see regret and maybe even a little fear, all I see is satisfaction and pride that she did that.

I can't possibly think of anything to say in response to that.

"Hey, yeah!" said the other girl, standing up. "I _do _recognize him! Doesn't anyone else?"

"Uh…" the others said, eyebrows raised.

"Let's see," said Richard. "I'm willing to bet that he's from our original Universe and probably plays tennis and isn't anyone we've encountered so far… oh right! And Fuji hates him for some reason."

They all looked at me and looked quizzical. They _could _have just asked me who I was and I would have told them.

"Oh that's right!" said the dark haired girl, hitting her fist into her palm.


	34. Free

Channel 134- Free

"May I just say that I knew all along I wasn't evil?" Saeki said, crossing his arms childishly as he sat in a small rowboat. Kirihara and Momo were in the process of rowing the entire quartet back to shore after they had all spent the time swimming there in the first place. Saeki and Inui had bullied them into doing it because they're a whole year younger.

"I would welcome you to say it, but you already have said it many times," Inui sighed, leaning on the edge of the boat.

"No, I'm not evil," Saeki said. "I'm just the guy people point at and say, 'WTF?'"

"Will you get over that?" Momo said.

"Do we even know the reason for our loss of memories?" Kirihara asked as he stopped rowing for a second.

"Keep rowing," Inui ordered. "The remote is on shore and we have to get to it before something happens."

"What could possibly happen to it while it's lying on the beach?" Momo said.

"Anything," said Inui. "This Universe has already proved to be unpredictable and somewhat magical."

"It has to be," said Kirihara. "I mean, _something_ made that pirate ship appear out of nowhere."

"That's the same ship and crew from the Pirate Universe," Inui noted.

"Really?" said Momo. "I didn't even notice."

"I can't believe the others ostracized us so quickly based on clothing alone!" Saeki exclaimed.

"Will you get over it already?" Kirihara said.

"You're one to talk," said Momo. "You complained about being lonely even when you lost all your memories."

"It's a legitimate concern," Kirihara scowled.

They made it back to the shore and Inui forced them to pull the boat in all the way so he wouldn't have to get his pants wet. After disembarking, he went to the little pile that thankfully remained.

Unthankfully, it was disturbed.

And something was missing.

"The remote is gone," Inui said, kneeling beside the pile.

"The remote?" Momo whined. "Who would take that?"

"Someone with an interest in technology," Inui said, looking suspicious.

"Or maybe when the others got their memories back, they came here to get us and found the remote," Saeki tried.

"I wish there was someone on the other team as smart as me so they would seek that out as their first course of action," Inui said, pocketing anything else from the pile that belonged to him. The others did the same and then stood in a circle, wondering what they were going to do next.

"What are we going to do next?" wondered Kirihara.

"I don't know," said Inui. "Without the remote, we have no indication of whether or not we have found the next person. And worse, we don't have any way of learning what our mission was. And even worse than that, we have no way of leaving this Universe."

"Maybe a monkey took it," said Momo, looking towards the forest.

"Don't you think the monkey would have taken something shiny?" Saeki said with a raised eyebrow.

"A monkey did not take the remote," said Inui, looking almost offended at the thought.

"Let's go back to the others and rule out the possibility that they have it," Kirihara suggested. "And if they do, then great. If they don't, we can get Ootori to find it with one of his thousands of powers."

"That is the best idea I have ever heard from you, Kirihara," said Inui as he turned around and shook Kirihara's hand proudly as if he had anything to do with Kirihara's thought process.

"Um…it's just common sense," Kirihara said.

"Naturally," said Inui. "I had already thought of that idea. But the fact that you said it before me really says something about your character."

"I would have thought of the idea too," said Momo, looking for attention.

"Can we just go?" Saeki asked.

So they trudged back, slightly defeated, trying to retrace their steps. Even though they had gotten their original memories back, they found it difficult to remember exactly how they had gotten to the beach in the first place.

But with the help of Inui's handy dandy compass and Momo's handy dandy telescope, they did eventually enter into the familiar clearing.

"—And you've been here ever since then?"

As they entered, they discovered Oishi was speaking to someone whose back was to them.

Everyone heard the so called 'bad guys' wander back into their territory and looked back up at them.

"We were wondering when you guys would get back," said Atobe.

"I think our behavior was all rather rash," Inui said. "But no hard feelings. There's no need to feel bad for out casting us."

"We didn't feel bad," said Oshitari with a raised eyebrow.

"And I have a power that restores memory!" said Choutarou with a sigh. "Unfortunately, I forgot I was even a superhero…"

"Who's this?" Inui said, pointing to the person who obviously didn't belong.

"Oh, you remember him," said Fuji, crossing his arms. "He's that wonderful guy from Shintenhouji."

"Shiraishi Kuranosuke." He held his hand out to shake. "_Captain_ of Shintenhouji."

"Oh," said Inui. "Nice to see you again."

No one could see Inui rolling his eyes on the account of the fact that he was wearing glasses. And an eye patch.

"I didn't recognize you all at first," Shiraishi said. "I think it might have been the outrageous clothing you're wearing that threw me."

"You were watching us?" Momo said.

"For a little while," Shiraishi confessed. "I was hoping someone would make another wish."

"What are you talking about?" Inui said.

"Remember how Oishi said something about how he wished we would all forget what happened?" Taka said.

"I seem to recall something to that effect," Inui said.

"Well, apparently Shiraishi has the power to grant wishes," Oishi said. "And he happened to overhear me making the unintentional wish and took it seriously, so that's why we all lost our memories."

"I see," said Inui skeptically.

"That's dumb," said Kirihara. "It should have been obvious to you that we didn't really want to lose our memories."

"Well yeah, but I was bored," Shiraishi admitted.

"Well that's great that we've answered that question," said Inui. "But there's another problem."

"He also has the remote," Shishido added as Shiraishi raised his hand to reveal that Shishido's statement was true.

"Never mind," said Inui as he snatched the remote from Shiraishi. "Have you encountered anyone else in this Universe who is from our original one?"

"Frankly, I've been too busy to take the time to look around," Shiraishi said.

"Yeah, but apparently not so busy that you could spy on us," Bane accused.

"Well, yeah," said Shiraishi. "If what you're all saying is true then we have to complete some kind of mission. Unfortunately, if my master makes one more wish then I go back into the lamp."

"You're a genie?" said Saeki.

"I prefer the term 'wish granter'," said Shiraishi. "But basically, yeah."

"What's wrong with going back into the lamp?" Choutarou asked.

"You mean beside the claustrophobia?" Shiraishi said. "I forgot to mention. The lamp teleports to a random place on the globe afterwards."

"For crying out loud," said everyone as they slapped their foreheads.

"My master recently just made his second wish for a giant mansion on that hill over there," said Shiraishi, gesturing vaguely behind him. "So he'll probably be busy with it for a little while. But he seems to have a pretty short attention span."

"What can we do then?" Itsuki questioned.

"If one of you got the lamp from him then you would have control over the wishes," Shiraishi said. "And he wouldn't have anymore power over me. Whoever holds the lamp gets to make the wishes."

"Couldn't you just get it and give it to us?" asked Oishi.

"I can't touch it," Shiraishi shrugged.

"Or maybe we could forget about all that and just complete the mission before he makes the third wish," tried Oshitari.

"No, we have to get the lamp," Inui said, looking at the screen on the remote. "Our mission is to free Shiraishi."

"Free me?" Shiraishi repeated.

"You know, from the confines of the genie life," Eiji explained.

"Wish granter," Shiraishi corrected.

"Well, I've got an idea," said Shishido. "If Shiraishi could easily grant any wish we had, can't we just wish for the lamp?"

"My magic can't touch the lamp either," Shiraishi said.

"We could wish that the other master is dead so he can't make the third wish," Atobe suggested.

"I can't kill anybody," Shiraishi said.

"Geez!" said Eiji. "Enough with the random killing! I'm glad you can't kill anybody."

"I'm not," said Atobe. "That defeats the whole purpose of having magic. Ootori, I order you to kill the master and get the lamp."

"I don't want to kill anybody…" Choutarou said passively.

"Besides, couldn't he go and retrieve the lamp _without _killing someone?" Eiji inquired.

"Theoretically," said Atobe. "But now I'm just proving a point."

"You know, having Shiraishi on the team will make everything a lot easier," said Momo. "Say, can't we just wish that we were back in our original Universe?"

"Or that everyone from other Universes was here with us?" tried Taka.

"That's a novel idea…" said Inui.

"Yeah, it's great and everything…" Shiraishi said. "But I don't think my magic is strong enough to transcend Universes. I didn't even know that separate Universes existed prior to an hour ago."

"You should have realized it right when you appeared in a different one," Shishido said.

"I know," said Shiraishi. He looked like he was thinking of a comeback. "Shut up."

"Enough, enough," said Inui. "We're wasting time by sitting around here thinking of loopholes. Let's just dive in head first and get this lamp back."

"Can we wish for the means to kill someone?" Atobe asked Shiraishi.

"Maybe we can avoid drastic measures for now," Inui said.

"Why is it okay for _you _to use drastic measures but as soon as I start suggesting mass murder, it's suddenly not all right?" Atobe demanded.

"Because my drastic measures are only for drastic situations," Inui said. "I hardly think this situation is drastic right now."

Suddenly, Shiraishi froze.

"My master is rubbing the lamp," he said. "I have to go."

"Just don't go," said Eiji.

"I have to," said Shiraishi. "I have—"

But before Shiraishi could say anything else, he disappeared.

Everyone who remained looked at each other awkwardly.

"Well, _now _the situation is drastic," said Inui.


	35. Easy Answer

Channel 135- Easy Answer

Shiraishi appeared in front of his master, who shall be known as Moran. (It is, of course, pronounced like the insult 'moron', as he is a useless character whom we have no affection towards.)

Before Moran could say anything, Shiraishi dove forward and threw his hand over his mouth. (Just for clarification, Shiraishi put his hand over _Moran's _mouth. Not any other crazy variation.)

"Before you make a wish," Shiraishi said. "I want to let you in on a little loophole."

"A loophole?" said Moran. (This was, naturally, _after _Shiraishi took his hand back.)

"Yes," Shiraishi said. "Remember how I said that wishing for more wishes was not allowed?"

"…Yeah…" said Moran slowly.

"I was only saying that because I didn't really like you at the time and I didn't want to have to hang around for longer than I had to," Shiraishi said. "You should use your third wish to ask for more wishes."

"I can do that?" Moran said.

"You most definitely can," said Shiraishi.

"Wow!" said Moran. "Golly! That just makes everything so much better! In that case, I wish for more wishes!"

"How many more?" said Shiraishi. "Be specific."

"Oh," said Moran. "Um…three! For now! Just so I don't lose track!"

"Great," said Shiraishi. "Three more wishes just for you. Perfect. All right, so I'm just going to head out now."

"Wait!" said Moran. "What you said about not liking me before…"

"That's all changed now," Shiraishi assured him.

"Exactly," Moran nodded. "So…are we pals now?"

"…Sure," said Shiraishi in a very unconvincing tone.

"Cool!" said Moran. "Let's hang out!"

Shiraishi raised an eyebrow and didn't look like he was going to comply, so Moran cleverly made a wish to force Shiraishi to stick around and hang out. Maybe Moran isn't quite as moronic as we originally accused him of being…

Meanwhile, everyone else was still wandering aimlessly through the forest, hoping they would stumble across a giant mansion.

"I wish Shiraishi had gestured less vaguely when he was telling us where the mansion was," said Shishido.

"You know," said Kirihara, stopping suddenly. "Remember how when we were on the rowboat at the beach, there was a big mansion off in the distance?"

Everyone else stopped as well and stared at him.

"Excuse me?" Inui said.

"Well, you know," said Kirihara. "That mansion. Up on the hill."

"There was no mansion," said Inui.

"Actually, now that I think about it, there was," said Momo.

"I don't remember a mansion," said Saeki.

"We couldn't see it from the beach, but when we were still on the water it was pretty visible," said Kirihara. "But…oh right! We were rowing so we were facing that direction. You guys didn't see it because you didn't do any rowing. At all."

"But that doesn't make sense," said Inui. "We were facing the beach the whole time."

"_Obviously _I'm talking about the beach on the other side of the water," said Kirihara.

Inui looked offended. "Don't speak to me that way," he said, but he was probably just offended because Kirihara was getting the best of him, and that's something _no one _wants.

"Shiraishi's master has probably since made his third wish by now," Oshitari pointed out. "I don't know if all this searching is really worth it."

"We still have to go there and try," said Taka.

"So we row all the way over there?" complained Atobe.

"Hey," said Shishido, looking at his watch. "It's almost ten o'clock. That means Choutarou can use his teleportation powers and we can get over there if we all hurry."

"Hurry…" said Fuji. "You mean…hurry and hold hands?"

"Hold hands?" said the entirety of Rokkaku.

"I need to be in contact with everyone if I'm going to teleport them," Choutarou said.

"_Or_ he could just fly over there himself and get the lamp," said Atobe. "We don't _all _have to go. Then he wishes himself and Shiraishi back to us, then he wishes Shiraishi free. Then we're out of here and missions become instantly easier because we have almost rule-free magic."

"That just takes all the challenge out of the adventure!" said David, and he hadn't even finished saying it before Bane punched him.

"I guess I could," said Choutarou. His expression suggested that he sort of agreed with David (or maybe he just wanted to hold hands…), but he didn't want to be punched even though he was impervious and Bane's hand would probably crumble before Choutarou felt any sort of pain at all.

So even though Choutarou would have rather had friends come with him on his little journey, he took off into the air and flew off into the distance while the others bid him a farewell.

There was a bit of silence as they all finished waving and gave heavy sighs.

"I think this is one of the only times we've had an actual plan that just might work," Inui said.

"And it was all thanks to me," said Kirihara.

"Yeah right, Kirihara," said everyone even though it was sort of true.

"What are we going to do in the meantime?" Atobe said, looking bored.

"We could try to figure out the word that makes Shishido evil," said Taka as if that was a small issue.

"Oh right," said Shishido. "I forgot that I was still brainwashed after that whole thing where we all lost our memories."

"Does anyone have a dictionary?" asked Oshitari in a way that suggested he might have been sarcastic.

"I do," said Saeki as he pulled a dictionary out of his duffle bag.

Everyone looked at him like he was a lunatic for having a dictionary so he felt self conscious.

But anyway, this isn't so interesting, so let's bring ourselves over to the giant mansion on the other side of the water. Actually, we're above it and now we're crashing through the room and standing there looking heroic.

"I'm here!" Choutarou announced, putting his hands on his hips as wind blew through his hair and a flag waved behind him.

"You crashed a hole through my roof!" exclaimed Moran. He and Shiraishi were both sitting on a couch watching home videos of when Moran was a small child.

Choutarou looked up. "Yeah…" he said. "Sorry."

"It's all right!" said Moran. "Genie! I wish my roof was fixed."

Shiraishi crossed his arms. "I prefer the term 'wish granter'."

"You have to sort out your priorities!" said Choutarou, pointing at Moran. "Someone has just crashed through your roof and your initial reaction is to fix the roof instead of inquire as to who the person is, why he crashed through the roof and exactly how he managed such a feat?"

Moran paused for a moment. "Point taken," he said. "Well?"

"I can't tell you any of that information," said Choutarou. "All I can say is that I need the lamp because I need to make a wish."

"The lamp?" Moran said, grabbing the lamp that was on the table next to him and caressing it. "Why would I ever give this to you?"

"Because we need it," said Choutarou. "And look. You already have everything you could ever want! You don't need anymore wishes."

"I don't have everything I want," said Moran. "My roof is still in shambles!"

Shiraishi stood up and pointed at the roof, causing it to POOF and become perfect; even better than before because it was gold plated.

"There," said Shiraishi. "Now, don't you want to give the lamp up _now_?"

"But…but…I thought we were pals!" said Moran.

"Oh we are," said Shiraishi. "And trust me, after my friend here makes a wish, you can have the lamp back, I promise."

"I don't know if it'll do any good," said Choutarou. "Because once I make the wish, we're leaving and never coming back."

Shiraishi slapped his forehead. "Why did you tell him that?" he demanded.

"Oh," said Choutarou, looking ashamed. "I forgot about lying…"

"You _lied _to me?" Moran said, deeply hurt. "You never liked me! That was just a ploy so you wouldn't have to go back into the lamp, wasn't it?"

"Well, yeah," said Shiraishi. "But I think you're winning out in the situation more than I am, don't you?"

"I'm never giving this lamp up!" announced Moran.

But he could hardly finish the sentence because Choutarou walked up and gave him a super punch that was so intense that he was rocketed across the room and his pants actually flew off and stayed where he had been standing when his body hit the wall.

"That might have been overkill," Shiraishi said.

"I didn't kill him," Choutarou said, picking up the lamp that was lying on the floor. "I always try to solve things first without violence, but he was obviously not going to comply with my wishes."

"True," said Shiraishi. "Speaking of wishes…"

"Right," said Choutarou. "First! I wish we were back where everyone else is."

"And where are they exactly?" Shiraishi said.

"On the beach across the way," Choutarou replied. "If you don't know exactly, I can always teleport us there if we just hold hands for a second."

Shiraishi considered his options. "You know, I think I'll just try to envision the place," he said finally.

"All right…" said Choutarou, a little dejected.

So they disappeared, leaving Moran there unconscious and pantsless. Whether or not he survived is not our concern.

They reappeared on the beach where everyone was thumbing through the dictionary, _way _to preoccupied to notice the supernatural occurrence right in front of them.

"Airplane?" Saeki read from his dictionary.

"No," said Shishido. "I'm still not evil."

Shiraishi cleared his throat and everyone finally looked up.

"Oh, excellent," said Inui. "See, Atobe? I told you drastic measures were unnecessary this time around."

"Right, because _you're _the one who gets to choose when drastic measures are necessary," Atobe said.

"Right," said Inui in that, "OBVIOUSLY!" tone.

"What were you guys doing?" Choutarou said.

"They were trying to figure out the word that turns me evil," said Shishido.

"Oh," said Choutarou. "What would have happened if you guys had gotten to it?"

"We would have attacked Shishido by hitting his fists and feet with our faces!" said Momo.

"Speak for yourself," said Oshitari, putting his hand on his gun just to be safe.

"Not kill him I hope," said Choutarou. "Since Shishido has been killed on several occasions already and it really is starting to distress me."

"Well, we weren't even halfway through the A's," said Saeki.

"We'll figure it out eventually!" said Eiji optimistically.

"Anyway," said Inui. "Why don't you just make that wish to free Shiraishi from the confines of genie life so we can move on?"

"Wish granter, guys," said Shiraishi. "Wish granter."

"Whatever, Shiraishi," said Fuji. "Whatever."

"All right," Choutarou said as he pulled the lamp out from behind his back. "I still have two wishes left, though."

The others glared at him threateningly. The speculated that maybe they would be able to all take him if they ganged up on him and found out the word that makes Shishido evil and bent on killing Silver Man.

"I wish that Shiraishi was free from the confines of…wish granter life," Choutarou stated clearly.

There was a slight pause. No light show. Nothing special.

Then the lamp just crumbled into a pile of dust right in Choutarou's hand.

"Whoa," said Choutarou, wiping his hand off.

"Whoopee," said Shiraishi. "I'm free."

"That rhymes," said David pointlessly.

_Then _there was a special lightshow.

"Unless we go to a new Universe, we're on our way to the Mary-Sue Universe," Inui reported as he pressed the button.

"NOOOOO!" yelled everyone like Darth Vader. Even Shintenhouji and Rokkaku. Despite the fact that they had never been to the Mary-Sue Universe, they knew innately that anything involving a Mary-Sue could only end in tears.


	36. Echizen Aroma

Channel 136- Echizen Aroma

"So…what was going on with Ryoma again when we left this Universe?" Eiji said, looking thoughtful.

"Was he dead?" Oishi tried to remember.

"I think Inui shot him in the chest," said Fuji.

"Inui!" said everyone who didn't remember the exact details of what had happened.

"In my defense, he jumped in front of it," said Inui.

"Okay, so Ryoma is dead," said Taka.

"Why do I not feel sad about that?" said Atobe.

"Because we're numb to death," Oshitari replied.

"Oh right," said Atobe.

"What's death?" said Bane. "Is it as finite as being destroyed?"

"Something like that," said Inui, looking disgusted with Bane and David's lack of knowledge of something that was basically second nature to everyone else.

"We should go to the closest graveyard or something," said Momo said, trying to move things along.

"Wait, do we know for a fact that he's dead?" Shiraishi asked. "Did you all witness him die?"

"Well, we witnessed him getting shot in the chest," said Kirihara. "Except for me because I had previously been shot by someone else."

"You guys really do use way too much violence," said Saeki.

"I guess he might be alive still," Inui said. "It is a valid point."

"In that case, I think we should split up," said Shiraishi. "Into thirds. One third searches graveyards and obituaries, one third checks hospitals and that jazz, and the last third checks Ryoma's home for answers. Then we'll all meet up at a certain time and report our findings. Hopefully by then we'll know something. If not, we'll move from there, but I'm confident that we'll have enough to act on."

Everyone stared at him with blank expressions that basically read, "You're not Inui. Why are you speaking during plan time?"

Then, after remaining confused, they looked at Inui.

"Um," said Inui. "Yeah, so right. That sounds like a good plan and anything, but you didn't…split everyone into groups."

"I didn't realize that everyone needed their hands held," said Shiraishi, crossing his arms.

"If you're so great, why don't you just pop in on those three locations and check them out yourself?" Shishido challenged.

"I think I will," said Shiraishi as he stood there and didn't do anything.

"Don't let us stop you or anything," said Fuji. "Go."

"I _am_," said Shiraishi but he obviously wasn't.

"Go," Fuji repeated.

"It's not working," Shiraishi said finally. "My powers aren't working."

"Why?" whined everyone. Even though their intentions had originally just to be snippy at Shiraishi, it turned out that they realized everything would have been much easier if he could do everything for them.

"Someone make a wish," Shiraishi ordered.

"I wish I had a million dollars," said Momo, looking proud.

Shiraishi held out his hand but nothing happened.

"There's no lamp," Choutarou said finally. "If there's no lamp then you have no powers."

"Who wrote that rule?" said Shiraishi, looking irritated.

"It's just a guess," Choutarou said.

"Great," said Shiraishi.

"Great, right," said Fuji. "Now, not only are we stuck with you, but you're useless too."

"Yeah, and you're real useful," Shiraishi noted.

"I am," said Fuji.

"How?" Shiraishi said.

"I don't think we need to delve into that right now," said Inui before Fuji could demonstrate his usefulness by twisting someone's head off. "Ootori, why don't you just fly to those appointed locations and find out the state of Ryoma?"

"I _would_," said Choutarou. "But uh…well…"

"It's almost sunset," said Shishido. "And it's the new moon tonight. Choutarou doesn't have his powers right now and he won't have them until tomorrow night."

Inui was pretty sure he was going to have to smack a bitch, but instead he figured he'd just solve things the civilized way.

"So let's do this the more time consuming way," Inui said. "We'll split into three groups. How about…Seigaku is one group? Then Hyoutei and Rokkaku are each groups as well. Shiraishi can go with Rokkaku and Kirihara can go with Hyoutei."

"We don't want Kirihara," said Atobe.

"Fine," said Inui. "You take Shiraishi and Rokkaku will take Kirihara."

"We don't want Shiraishi either," Oshitari added. "We don't want anyone who isn't Hyoutei."

"You have to have one of them," said Inui as if there was absolutely no other way to do it.

"We don't mind taking both of them," Saeki said.

"All right," said Inui. "You take both Shiraishi and Kirihara then."

"I feel like I'm being auctioned off," said Shiraishi, looking disappointed.

"Get used to it," said Kirihara. "At least until more of your teammates show up."

"God forbid," said Fuji.

"Rokkaku group, you guys go to the hospital," said Inui. "My group will go to Ryoma's house, and that leaves Hyoutei with the graveyard."

"Why do we get the worst and creepiest place?" Shishido demanded.

Inui put his head in his hand and sighed heavily. "I'm sending Rokkaku to the hospital because Saeki and Itsuki could pass as doctors without killing anyone or stealing anything. We from Seigaku happen to know where Ryoma lives already, so that leaves the rest of you to take the leftover place, which happens to be the graveyard." He stopped talking and stood still like a statue, waiting for them to argue further. When they didn't, he said in a slightly elevated tone, "_Okay_?"

"Okay, geez," said Shishido.

"Wait, before we all split up!" said Bane as he handed Inui and Atobe walkie-talkies. "We should carry these around so we can keep in contact."

"You had these all along and never told us?" Atobe demanded.

"What are you talking about?" said Bane. "I've been around for a day at the most. We haven't needed them yet."

"He's got a point," Oshitari said.

"I don't need you supporting the enemy," said Atobe.

"All right, this is very helpful," said Inui. "I'm glad everyone is finally putting effort into making this process less annoying than it already is."

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Eiji, looking hurt.

"Let's split up," said Inui so he wouldn't have to answer even though Eiji's in the same group as him so he would have to answer anyway.

Rokkaku and Misc went to go check out the phone book for where the closest hospitals were while Seigaku disappeared down the road towards Ryoma's house.

Hyoutei just stood there.

"So," said Shishido. "Let's…go do something else. Or something."

"Okay," said the rest of Hyoutei as they frolicked off to beat some kids up to steal their rackets and play tennis.

Team Seigaku reached Ryoma's house relatively quickly. They contemplated smashing the door down and making a dramatic entrance, but then they realized that maybe Ryoma's dad might be mourning in the event that Ryoma was dead, so they figured that they should be delicate.

So they knocked on the door and waited patiently.

After a minute or so, the door opened and there was a strange girl standing there. None of them had ever seen her before, but they did know that she was absolutely beautiful and wonderful in every way without even having to speak to her. And the most enchanting thing about her was her eyes; one was purple with yellow spots and the other one was orange with green stripes.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Who are you?" said Momo tactfully.

"Excuse me?" she said because she was clearly free-spirited and extroverted.

"Ignore him," Inui said. "We're—"

"Isn't it a little early for trick-or-treating?" said the girl.

"We're not trick-or-treating," said Taka. "We're just eccentric."

"What do you want?" asked the girl.

"We're friends of Ryoma's," said Oishi. "Is he here?"

The girl's expression didn't change. "You don't know?"

"Know what?"

Then she sighed. "There's no easy way to say this," she began. "But Ryoma was shot a couple of weeks ago."

They waited for her to continue because they knew that part. But then they remembered that they weren't supposed to know that part so they wore shocked expressions.

"Is he all right?" led Eiji.

"He's recovering," the girl nodded.

"So he's not dead then," Fuji said.

"No, he's not dead," the girl said, looking surprised that Fuji would just say something like that.

"And who are you again?" Taka said.

"As soon as I heard about what happened to Ryoma, I came here right away," the girl said. "I'm Ryoma's long lost twin sister who lives in America and I play tennis and people at my school call me the Princess of Tennis and I play on the boy's team because the girl's team bores me. My name is Aroma."

"Aroma?" Momo repeated. "Like the thing you smell?"

"Excuse me!" said Aroma, looking offended.

"I'm sorry," said Momo as the others gave him a cross look. "Sorry. It's just… that's a stupid name, that's all."

"I didn't know that Ryoma had a twin sister," said Inui.

"I _just _said that I was long lost," Aroma reminded him. "Ryoma himself didn't even know and was very surprised when I showed up."

"I would imagine so," Inui said. "Is he here right now?"

"He's resting," Aroma said.

"Can we see him for like… a second?" Eiji asked. "Or even just walk in the general area where he's near?"

"Why?" said Aroma, looking suspicious.

"You're annoying," Momo said.

"Stop talking, Momo," Oishi commanded. But, since it was Oishi, no one took him seriously so Fuji had to repeat the command and everyone took him seriously.

"We just want to visit him to wish him a healthy getting well experience," Eiji announced. "That's why we dressed up in these silly costumes to make him feel better!"

"But you said that you didn't know he got shot!" said Aroma.

Eiji slapped his forehead in an overly dramatic fashion.

"All right, fine, let's just get out of here," said Inui with an eye roll that no one could see. He had a hulk moment and lifted everyone up off the front door step and carried them away as Aroma slammed the door shut.

"Why did you do that?" Taka asked. "We have to be near Ryoma to get the mission!"

"And no doubt the mission will be something about that Mary-Sue," Oishi added.

"Instead of arguing with her, we could just walk around the house to where Ryoma's room is," Inui said.

"Ohhhhhhhh…" said everyone as they were once again thankful that Inui was around to tell them exactly what to do.

So they frolicked around the house until the remote beeped the number displayed a nice big '34'.

"34 really still is quite the big number," Fuji noted. "That's still more than the amount we _started _with last time."

"There's nothing we can do except for keep pressing forward," said Inui as he whipped out the walkie-talkie and made the announcement that it was time to gather and discover what their mission was going to be.


	37. Defeat Echizen Aroma

Channel 137- Defeat Echizen Aroma

About an hour passed before they were all together again. After extensive negotiation with Ryoma's long lost twin sister, Aroma, they finally got her to allow them entry to Ryoma's house.

When they entered Ryoma's room, he was just sitting there watching television as if nothing was wrong with him, and seemed quite surprised when they entered.

"Why are you so surprised?" said Momo, looking sort of offended.

Ryoma didn't answer for a moment, and then he said, "Ohhhhhhh…"

"'Ohhhhh'?" everyone repeated, waiting for an explanation.

"So we're jumping around to other Universes again…" Ryoma said with a nod.

"Obviously," said Inui. "I mean… you're _here_."

"And you were shot and everything," Shishido added, sounding annoyed.

"Yeah," said Ryoma. "I just figured that happened since I don't really remember."

"_And _you have a long lost twin sister named Aroma?" Taka added.

"It makes more sense now," Ryoma shrugged.

They were tempted to slap Ryoma for being a fool but they felt guilty about doing that to a critically wounded person.

"So I guess your gunshot wound wasn't fatal after all," said Saeki since he wanted to move on.

Ryoma looked at Saeki and raised his eyebrow.

"By the way, there are more people this time around," Atobe said because Saeki was sad now.

"Well, yeah," said Ryoma. "If the shot had just been an inch to the left then it would have hit my heart. Pretty lucky, huh?"

They were about to agree, but no one had time to because they had suddenly heard a loud SWISH! And, following their ears, they looked over to see that Shishido had whipped out his spear and… he was evil again.

"Jeez!" said everyone, sounding more annoyed than afraid.

"I don't know what's more annoying…" said Oshitari. "Him always getting kidnapped or him always turning evil."

He took a swipe at them but they all dove out of the way.

"I don't have my powers right now!" Choutarou reminded them as they got back up to be on guard for Shishido's assault.

While they continued to discuss their predicament, Shishido continued to swipe at them. It was getting quite comical because they didn't have the opportunity to say much before they had to jump up into the air and dive down to the ground again.

Finally, Fuji was getting tired of this mockery so he stood up, tennis racket high, and then thwapped Shishido like his head was a tennis ball, sending him flying across the room so he smacked against the wall. It resembled when a bug smashes against the windshield, except thankfully Shishido did not splatter into a smear of guts and, instead, slid down the wall and landed in a heap.

"Hey!" said Choutarou, standing up and looking angry.

"I can kill you when you have your super powers, and I can kill you now," Fuji said matter-of-factly, which made Choutarou immediately back off.

"All right," said Inui, standing up and adjusting his glasses. "I think it's important for us to figure out what this secret word is so we don't run into this problem again."

Everyone waited as Inui stood there like he didn't have to tell them anything.

"Well?" said Shiraishi since no one else was saying it.

"And it's lucky for all of you that I have a theory as to what that word is," said Inui.

"I have a question," said Ryoma. "Why is Shishido turning evil?

"Don't talk," everyone ordered as Inui looked like he was ready to start his speech and explanation.

"Logically, the word that is often in the situations is—" Inui began, but then his pocket beeped, so he took out the remote and peered at it curiously. "Oh. Our mission is to defeat Echizen Aroma."

"That's not a surprise," said Kirihara. "This is the Mary-Sue Universe, so therefore our mission must be to defeat a Mary-Sue!"

"And this time we know we just go right to the killing of her and not bother with a tennis match," Momo added.

"Wait, kill my long lost twin sister?" Ryoma said.

"Why is it always _killing_?" Shiraishi questioned.

"What _is_ killing anyway?" said David with a flamboyant shrug.

Everyone who was experienced slapped their foreheads. I think even Saeki and Itsuki did too, because at this point it's second nature to them as well.

"But what about the secret word?" Choutarou asked.

"Oh right," said Inui. "The first time we encountered Shishido turning evil in front of us was when Ootori was showing mercy to Dr. Brain and Squidbeard. Dr. Brain exclaimed, 'Bless your kind heart, Silver Man.'"

"Of course!" said Eiji. "And the _second _time was right after the limo for the prom drove away, and someone had _just _sneezed and someone said, 'Bless you'! The secret word is 'bless'!"

"OMG!" shouted everyone.

"No," said Inui, looking annoyed.

"Aww…" said everyone.

"Though it is true that the second time occurred during the prom, I don't recall any sneezing taking place," Inui said. "At that point, Eiji was lamenting about Ootori forgetting to bring a corsage to Oishi, and was worried that Oishi would have a broken heart."

"And the third time was when Ryoma was talking about the shot missing his heart by an inch," Atobe finished up. "So the secret word is heart. You could have just _said _that."

"I was going to," said Inui.

"That's a dumb secret word," Momo decided.

"I was trying to keep track of how many times the word was said as not to accidentally turn Shishido evil again," said Inui.

"I don't think it matters," Fuji announced. "Let's just sneak up on this Echizen Aroma girl, kill her and then get out of here before he even wakes up."

"Wait!" said Ryoma. "All this talking about killing Aroma…she's my twin sister! What if it really means to just defeat her in tennis?"

"That didn't work last time, and we are far too impatient to find out," said Kirihara. "After all, if we just kill her then we win any future tennis game by default because she's dead!"

"Hey, look," said Shiraishi as a bouquet of flowers appeared in his hand.

Everyone stared at him, a little disoriented at first with his mere presence, and then confusion with his interruption, and then even more confusion with the point of his interruption.

"Hello," he said, waving the flowers around. "I can do magic again."

"That's good," said Inui. "So I wish Echizen Aroma was dead."

Shiraishi gave an exasperated sigh. "Not _real _magic."

"So you did that wish smoke and mirrors?" David questioned.

"No, I actually made them appear," Shiraishi said. "But it took a lot of effort and it's kind of useless…"

"So you can do useless magic," said Fuji. "How useless."

"I'm trying," snapped Shiraishi.

"If your useless magic isn't going to aid in the destruction of Echizen Aroma, then just be quiet," Oshitari said.

"Oh!" said Bane. "They're going to _destroy _her!"

"I get it now!" said David.

"You know what, you two?" said Atobe. "I need you both to stop talking right now, and then never talk again."

"We were confused about what the mission was," said Bane. "But now we get it, so we can help!"

"Don't bother," Atobe rolled his eyes.

"I have an idea on how we can kill her!" said Kirihara as if that was something someone should just exclaim anytime he feels like it.

"Please," Inui offered.

"Okay, so we can call her in here, but as soon as she comes in, we can push her back towards the door. All the while, Taka is raising his sword at about neck level, so when we push her back, she gets decapitated. That way, it'll be effective _and _hilarious!"

Taka looked at his sword, and then looked uneasy.

"I don't find decapitation hilarious," Choutarou said, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to go with him on that one," Oishi agreed.

"Couldn't we just use old fashion bullets?" Eiji requested. "I mean, if I had it my way we would just not kill anyone, but it's our mission and she's an original character so that makes it okay, right?"

"Wait, so we're not going to decapitate her?" Kirihara whined.

"No, and you need some counseling if you find that hilarious," Saeki said.

"You guys are no fun," said Kirihara.

"Okay, so this is how we're actually going to do it," said Inui. "Ryoma, you call her in this room, and as soon as she comes in, everyone just barrage her with bullets until she's not moving anymore."

"I refuse to play a part in this," said Ryoma.

"Fine," said Inui.

Then he turned around and spotted a shatter worthy vase and pushed it over so it smashed on the floor. Within a few seconds, Echizen Aroma appeared in the doorway and everyone who had projectile weapons open fired upon her with such ferocity that it would have been impossible for her to survive!

Of course, only one of the bullets actually hit her, because all the bullets from Atobe and Oshitari's guns ended up hitting Kirihara and killing him as well. Luckily, of course, Inui's gun hit her.

After Echizen Aroma collapsed to the floor in a heap, everyone turned around and looked at Kirihara's steaming heap and almost started to chuckle.

"And why is that funny?" Shiraishi inquired.

"Because maybe we should have decapitated her after all," Momo said with a shrug.

Luckily, that was when the white light started to engulf them. They were glad because they didn't have to listen to Ryoma weep over the death of his long lost twin sister anymore and Inui pressed the button that would take us to the new world of wonders!

"I _told _you we should have decapitated her!" Kirihara announced whence he was revised from certain death.

"For crying out loud…" said Shishido, putting his hands on his hips. "Did I turn evil again?"

"Yes," said Choutarou. "But we figured out the secret word that turns you evil so don't worry."

"What is it?" Shishido asked.

"If we said it then you would turn evil again," Inui reminded him.

"Oh right," said Shishido.

"Where are we?" Ryoma asked, noticing he was no longer mortally wounded.

"Another new Universe…" Taka observed.

They gazed at their surroundings; it appeared as though they were in some kind of poorly lit dojo with no one else around. The only thing that seemed slightly out of place was the enormous clock behind them.

"Wait, isn't this the ninja Universe?" Oishi asked.

"We wouldn't know," said Oshitari. "Some of us only saw limited aspects of said Universe."

"Well, why would we be in a dojo if this isn't a Ninja Universe?" Itsuki asked.

"THREE!" came a booming voice from the heavens that caused everyone to duck and cover.

"What was that?" demanded Shiraishi.

"TWO!"

"I have no idea," replied the closest person to him, which happened to be Kirihara.

"ONE!"

"It's a countdown," Bane said.

"Countdown to what?" David said.

"FIGHT!"

With that, the clock started ticking and two figures jumped in from either side of the dojo. Only a second went by before the figures launched themselves at each other and collided in the air.

"They're fighting…" Inui said, but then his pocket beeped, and when he whipped out the remote, he found that the number that once read 34 was now a cute little palindrome; 33.


	38. Trio

Channel 138- Trio

As everyone scrambled to get out of the way, Inui quickly pointed out to them that the remote had gone down by one.

"So one of those fighters is someone from our Universe?" Shiraishi said since he wants to understand the system.

They all lined themselves against the walls of the dojo and studied the movements of both fighters. However, neither the styles nor the faces of either fighter reminded them of anyone they knew. It sure was a good thing that both fighters were preoccupied with one another and entirely uninterested in fighting all the strangers.

"Could it be some random guy from Fudomine?" Kirihara finally tried.

"No," said Inui. "I don't recognize the style of either fighter. A fighting style may just reflect the tennis style of particular players, but this is completely unfamiliar. I don't believe either fighter is from our Universe, and the person who is from our Universe is elsewhere."

Everyone stared at him.

"Your brain must weigh so much," Shiraishi said finally.

Before Inui had to implement drastic measures, they looked up just in time to see one of the fighters hit the ground in slow motion and then disappear.

"NEXT FIGHTER," came the booming voice from the heavens, which of course startled our beloved tennis players.

Then, although the dojo had a roof, another fighter descended from whatever heavens the announcer must reside in. This fighter was dressed entirely in black and had on a dark hood and a mask, but he had bare feet with bandaged hands. Both he and the fighter who was already there proceeded to fight each other as soon as the announcer counted back from three.

"We _are _in the ninja Universe!" Oishi exclaimed as he pointed his finger in the air.

The others pulled him back and tried to silence him, but his sudden outburst had drawn attention to himself. The masked fighter turned around to face them, and then pointed.

"Hey, I know you guys!" he said, sounding both amazed and relieved at the same time.

Everyone looked gleefully at one another and stood up to inquire as to who exactly he was, but then the other fighter suddenly came up behind him and punched a hole right through his torso.

This was, of course, quite shocking. The group didn't know how to respond so they only blinked as a surprised collective as the person who supposedly knew who they were fell to the ground in slow motion and then shimmer out of existence.

"So much for that," said Bane, looking disappointed.

"That's going to hurt in the morning!" David chuckled.

"NEXT FIGHTER," bellowed the announcer.

Another figure descended from the heavens dressed in a white karate outfit with a black belt and a white bandana. Immediately upon hitting the ground, the new fighter faced the large group of variously absurdly dressed characters.

"Hey!" he said.

And it was someone recognizably familiar; Marui.

You know, that kid from Fudomine with the pinkish colored hair.

Kirihara was close to shouting, "HUZZAH!" and then launching himself at a fellow Rikkai Dai-er, but he was interrupted by the loud bellows of the announcer counting down for the fight to begin.

Marui knew he couldn't be distracted like his fellows so he quickly gave his full attention to the other fighter just as the announcer told the fight to commence.

Everyone else sat idly by.

"So," Atobe reasoned. "Each team has a certain amount of fighters, and once they run out of those characters, they lose."

"And what happens when they lose?" Shiraishi inquired.

"Let me take a wild guess," Shishido said. "We fail the mission?"

"I cannot answer that question, for I have yet to receive the actual mission," Inui announced as if he played any part in receiving the mission other than just holding the device it came on.

And, as it would happen, the remote beeped just then.

"Yes," Inui said. "Our mission is to win the tournament."

As soon as he said that, they heard the failure music and looked up just in time to see Marui fall to the ground in slow motion as the other guy pumped his arms in a very victorious fashion.

For a moment, life became very disorienting as the announcer declared: "FAILURE."

And then the entire area faded to black. The dojo disappeared, and all our heroes were standing among the nothingness with only a spotlight shining down on them.

"Um…what just happened?" Taka asked.

"This has never happened before?" Saeki inquired.

"Definitely not," Choutarou said uneasily.

"Well, we've never failed a mission before," Inui pointed out.

"Wait, so what's going to happen?" said Eiji, looking slightly hysterical. "Are we trapped in this void between Universes _forever_?"

No one really knew what to do or say and just when they were probably going to get hostile on each other like when the Red Sox won the World Series a few years back complete with rioting and fires and overturning cars and DEATH...but then they heard, "Hey guys."

Upon squinting through the darkness, they discovered another spotlight where three people were standing. One of those people was Marui, and then the masked person who had been pummeled through the chest and then the third fighter who had actually been the first.

"Are you stuck between the void of Universes like us?" Eiji asked.

"Er…no…" said Marui, looking at his compadres as they all walked over to where the large group was standing. "We have a continue. It's cool."

"A continue?" Itsuki questioned.

"Yeah, obviously," said Marui. "Otherwise, don't you think we'd be a little more torn up about losing?"

"Wait, so this isn't the void between Universes?" Eiji said, looking relieved.

"No, it's not," said Marui. "It's just a place we come to see if we want to switch our team around in order to go back to the fight."

"That's good to hear," said Inui. "Would you like to introduce us to your teammates?"

"Well, you already know Jackal," said Marui.

"Hey!" said the masked fighter as he took his mask off to reveal he was Jackal.

"Why were you standing there completely silently with a mask on?" Fuji immediately questioned.

Jackal shrugged. "I thought it was obvious that it was me."

No one wanted to tell him that it wasn't obvious.

"And this is…someone else from Rikkai Dai?" Kirihara said hopefully as he pointed to the last fighter.

"No…that's just Boulder," Marui answered, gesturing vaguely towards the other guy.

"BOULDER KILL!" hollered Boulder as he started punching the air.

"We think we're going to switch him out," Marui whispered.

"So what is this?" said Shiraishi. "A video game or something?"

"That's the vibe we got," Jackal said.

"And aren't you at least a little bit curious about _why _you're suddenly in a video game?" Oshitari said, looking a little offended that they hadn't already asked the question.

"Oh yeah," said Marui. "All the time. Why, do you guys know?"

"Inui can explain it," said Momo. "After all, it's his fault."

Inui frowned at Momo but then faced Marui and Jackal to explain the issue. You know, all the jazz from top to bottom and even a short summary of how the adventure has been going so far, and then Marui and Jackal had a Q&A session until they were perfectly clear of everything that was going on.

They even did a little, "So let me get this straight…" tangent.

In short, Marui and Jackal are officially savvy. And so is Boulder, by the way.

"BOULDER CONFUSED!!" Boulder shouted as he tried to destroy something but he did a bad job at that because there wasn't really anything around for him to destroy. But then he poofed and disappeared because no one wanted him to be there anymore.

"So now we have to pick a new team and go back out there," said Marui.

"How many people per team?" Kirihara asked.

"Three," said Jackal.

"Hey!" said Marui. "We should make a Rikkai Dai team!"

"Can we do that?" Kirihara gasped, looking _way _too excited.

"I don't see why not," said Marui. "I mean, you're here, aren't you? This is where we're supposed to pick our teammates."

"Wait, picking Kirihara would be a terrible idea," Inui interjected.

"And why is that?" said Kirihara, sounding offended as he put his hands on his hips. Marui and Jackal seemed a little put off too because even though they weren't best friends with Kirihara, they didn't like Inui putting down him _or _their ideas or anything associated with something Rikkai Dai exclusive.

"Because Kirihara has no fighting abilities," Inui explained. "And his weapons don't even have any redeeming qualities either because they don't work."

"Why do you have weapons, Kirihara?" said Jackal.

"Moreover, why do you have weapons that don't work?" Marui added.

"Cause I'm an outlaw," said Kirihara. "Haven't you noticed?"

Marui and Jackal looked Kirihara up and down.

"Oh yeah, so you are," Marui nodded.

"You didn't notice the fact that I was dressed up like an idiot?" Kirihara demanded.

"No," they both admitted. They didn't have the heart to tell him they thought he always looked like an idiot.

Inui cleared his throat. "With the different skills among our group, I'm sure a more effective fighter can be put on your team of three," he remarked.

"How about Ootori?" Bane said. "He's got super powers!"

"Yeah, every day except this one," Shishido reminded him.

"Wait, I never really got that explanation," Bane admitted.

"I lose my super powers in the new moon until I'm actually physically under the moonlight again," Choutarou explained.

"Oh," said Bane, as well as everyone else who didn't know this fact. And they all would have said "that's lame" but there's no way they would use Shishido's insult to put down Choutarou because that might just cause irreparable damage.

"How about Shishido goes?" Oishi suggested. "He's a good fighter."

"Yeah, especially when he turns evil," Momo added.

"Why do you turn evil?" Marui asked.

"I was brainwashed so now every time someone says a certain word, I turn evil," Shishido answered as if it was a completely normal thing and might be considered a minor inconvenience. "Then I sort of indiscriminately kill things."

"Well that's fine," said Jackal. "There are only two fighters in the arena anyway."

"I don't much want to," said Shishido because he is a brat. "What about Taka? He's a good fighter. A knight and all that."

"How about we just do it the easy way?" Shiraishi said.

"And what is your easy way suggestion this time?" said Inui.

"Send either Atobe or Oshitari and have them use their homing missile guns," Shiraishi said.

"Yeah, homing missile towards me," said Kirihara.

"That will be a whole pile of carnage," Oshitari remarked.

"Okay, does anybody _want _to be on our team?" Jackal asked.

"_I _do," said Kirihara.

"No," Inui ordered. Then he turned to Shishido. "You have no reason to decline them other than you're just being annoying. Besides, there's hardly any conversation in the fight itself so you won't turn evil. You actually have a bigger chance of turning evil if you hang out with us." (But he probably does have a reason; he doesn't want to fight the forces of evil with anyone except Choutarou.)

"As a matter of fact, I take that threat up a notch and say that if you don't fight with them then I will personally make sure you turn evil, thus giving us justification for killing you," Atobe announced.

And even though no one was happy with such a threat, it's not like they could go against what Atobe said, especially as members of Hyoutei, so Shishido finally agreed.

"But I want to be the third fighter and you guys have to not suck," said Shishido to Marui and Jackal.

"All right, let's get back to the tournament!" said Marui as he and Jackal both punched the air.


	39. Special Move

Channel 139- Special Move

Thankfully, everyone was whisked away from the so-called 'void between Universes' once the continue was activated. If it had been any other way, they certainly would have been in a bummer worthy situation.

They all lined up against the wall and then waited for something to happen.

"Hey, where are Shishido, Marui and Jackal anyway?" Kirihara demanded as he stood up and put his hands on his hips. "They ditched us!"

"Are you being serious?" said everyone as they slapped their foreheads IN SYNCRO.

"I don't think I get exactly how this works," Kirihara admitted as he sat down.

"That's quite apparent," said Inui. "Each side has three fighters, but the fight is always one-on-one. A fighter continues until he is defeated, and then the next fighter takes his place."

"So it's not a best two out of three thing, right?" Bane clarified.

"No, it only matters which team has someone left at the end of the fight," Inui answered. "So even if one team wins the first three fights, there is a chance the opposite team's last fighter could win the three consecutive matches to defeat the first team."

"Wow, so it's very much _unlike _the way in which tennis is conducted," Shiraishi reasoned.

"Yes," Inui answered. "There is basically absolutely no correlation between tennis and this fighting game."

"That's too bad for them," said Eiji, looking legitimately sorry for their misfortune.

"Eiji, there was no tennis in our Universe either," Taka pointed out.

"Oh right!" said Eiji. "We are all suffering equally!"

"But what about people like Fuji and Oishi who had tennis in their Universe?" questioned Momo.

"We are automatically suffering the most out of everyone because we're girls," Oishi said as if he was the ruler of the world and he had the authority to make those kinds of decisions. But when you think about it, he had a point so we'll just have to agree with what he says in this instance for just this one time.

And everyone else agreed too, except for maybe Atobe who made the lame argument that he was gray and he didn't like being gray. And then a few other people noted the fact that he was gray as well, and wondered why they hadn't noticed it before.

"When is this fight going to start?" said Itsuki since he was bored with everyone's friendly banter and he was too nice to tell them to be quiet, so instead tried to make it about himself.

"That's a good question…" said Saeki, but no one had any time to quietly ponder because the announcer suddenly boomed down from the heavens.

"THREE!" bellowed the aforementioned voice. "TWO! ONE! FIGHT!"

"Yay!" cheered all the spectators as they instinctively looked around for a place they could get concessions but were sorely disappointed.

Two fighters descended from the heavens. One of them was Jackal and he gave everyone the thumbs up as if he had a personality or anything, and the other fighter was the same one who had defeated all three of them already.

But they quickly reminded him he ought to pay attention to the fight instead of reminding them of who he is.

So then the fighting commenced. It wasn't really anything particularly interesting for the spectators because it was just punches, kicks, blocks and poses and other things you learn from the onion in Parappa the Rapper.

"Hey, so the yellow bar at the top is health, right?" said Choutarou, leaning over and looking up at the two bars at the top of the screen. "But what's the red bar?"

"It seems to go up every time Jackal lands an attack effectively on the enemy," Inui observed.

"Then it must be the special move gauge!" Momo said.

"How can you know something like that?" asked Saeki.

"Well, it's obvious," said Momo. "Isn't it, Inui?"

"Of course," said Inui even though he didn't actually know because it is quite the improbability that Inui plays such games. He probably spends his time playing Math Blaster or something equally not entertaining that is really just learning poorly disguised as a game.

Now that everyone knew Jackal had a special move, they wanted to see it. So they started to chant at him to use his special move.

Since Jackal has probably rarely had any chorus of people cheering directly and only for him, this of course got him pretty pumped so he felt as though he simply _had _to use his special move even if it wasn't the best time to use it. So, after landing the last blow that made his red bar at the top fill all the way up, he flipped backwards away from the enemy and, in a very Dragon Ball Z-esque type manner, formed a giant ball o' energy in the palms of his hands and unleashed screaming temporal doom upon his opponent.

Subsequently, the crowd cheered as the beam of light connected with the other fighter and sent him flying across the stage and against the wall. If it were a real wall, surely it would have exploded and sent the fighter through it, but the battle field can only be so big so the fighter only crashed to the ground and immediately stood up as if nothing had happened, though his yellow life bar did diminish significantly.

"Do it again!" everyone else cheered.

"But I could probably finish him off without doing it again," said Jackal as the other fighter came towards him again.

"Encore!" the others cheered, totally ignoring Jackal.

Jackal decided against being a poser and, instead, opted to finish off the enemy in his own way. When the enemy was flying across the stage in slow motion and disappearing, Jackal walked over to where the others were standing.

"Are there any disadvantages to using the special move?" Inui asked.

"No," said Jackal.

"Then why not use it constantly?" Inui said.

"I don't know," said Jackal. "I like to save it for the finishing attack."

"Well, we want to get out of here so we don't care about your preferences and we demand you use your special move over and over again so you can defeat the enemy more quickly and then we can leave more quickly!" shouted a very unruly individual.

This command threw Jackal off guard but he was unable to report his feelings because the announcer was summoning the next fighter to the field.

Speaking of the next fighter, he descended and revealed himself to be some kind of creature with six arms and a sword in each arm and intense ancient looking armor.

"Whoa," said everyone else.

"We've never defeated him before…" said Jackal, looking all dramatic.

"What?" said Kirihara. "And you still have to defeat this one and _another one _after him?"

"And your health meter is already half disappeared!" Eiji pointed out.

"Well—" Jackal started but the ominous announcer began to count down from three so he had to run and get ready for the fight.

"So if they lose, they have to start all over again?" Bane asked.

"It sounds as though they lose a lot," said David.

Everyone stared at him.

"What?" said David.

"No pun?" said Bane.

"Why, do you want me to say a pun?" David asked.

"No," said Bane.

"Because every time I say a pun, everyone hurts me in some way," David said. "Frankly, I must say I'm finally starting to learn my lesson."

"Liar," said Bane.

"Is it a crime to not want to get kicked in the face anymore?" David asked.

"But…" Bane started. "If I can't kick you in the face…how am I supposed to alleviate my anger that builds up through the day?"

"I'm sure you'll find a way," said David, crossing his arms.

Bane looked pretty distressed, but not as distressed as everyone else who had been watching the fight. Jackal had hardly managed to eliminate even a little bit of the yellow health bar before he had perished. No one was sad because this was fake FAKE deaths.

"NEXT FIGHTER," bellowed the announcer.

With that, Marui descended from the heavens.

"Use your special move!" everyone cheered before he could even greet them.

"Huh?" said Marui.

"Don't you have a special move?" questioned Oshitari.

"Of course I do," said Marui. "But I have to build up to it first."

"Well then build up to it and _then _use it," said Ryoma. "Obviously."

Marui turned around to fight the six handed sword bearing opponent and, frankly, the odds were rather against him.

"Jackal hardly dented his health meter!" Marui said despairingly as he looked up at the yellow health bar.

"Use your special move!" called Eiji. "It's the only way!"

"This would be a lot easier if I had a weapon!" Marui admitted as he dodged an attack and then used his momentum to run up the side of the wall and land an attack behind the six armed fighter. It wasn't enough for him to gather enough of his red bar to use the special move.

"Keep doing that and then use your special move!" Momo said.

"Enough with the special move!" Marui said angrily as he was attacked with several swords. If it wasn't a game, it surely would have been a fatal attack, but thankfully it only took away about half of his health bar.

As it would happen, however, when Marui was hit by an attack like that, his red bar filled up almost all the way. And, after punching a few more times, Marui was able to nimbly hop away from where the multi-armed guy was standing and ready his special move even though he would have rather not because everyone was annoying him with how obsessed with the special moves they were.

So, smoldering with torrid passion, Marui suddenly dashed at the other fighter at top speed staying low to the ground, and then raised his fist and made the most dramatic uppercut in the entire world, sending the other fighter high into the air with a blue flame traveling behind him.

"It's super effective!" cheered everyone as they threw their arms up into the air and waved them around. "Do it again!"

Marui looked hopefully at the health meter of the other fighter and found it was all the way down to a third left.

"I could win!" said Marui confidently.

"But only if you use your special move!" called his fans.

"Stop it!" Marui ordered as the six armed guy got up and started attacking. Their health meters were in about the same place, so he felt as though the odds were even, although he did wish they were in his favor.

He decided to be absolutely relentless and try to attack the other fighter as much as possible in attempt to build up his epical move again because he did think that was the only way he was going to walk away as the victor in the situation. So he threw himself blindly at the other guy and threw all sorts of attacks at him as the other guy attacked right back.

Everyone watched with bated breath, biting their fingernails as the health bars diminished at basically the same rate. It was all down to who could land the last blow as the yellow completely disappeared from the bar. However, the one who ended up flying backwards in slow motion was the antagonist! Which means, of course, Marui won!

"I won!" said Marui as he jumped up into the air and cheered.

"Yay!" cheered everyone else.

"And look!" said Marui, pointing up at the red bar. "I can use my special move right as the fight starts!"

"Even better!" they admitted.

"But you basically have no health left whatsoever," Inui pointed out. "Aren't you tired or injured at all?"

"No, I feel fine," Marui said. "But if I lose all my health then I die. It is both convenient and inconvenient at the same time."

"What a strange Universe," said Choutarou. He probably wanted Marui to lose just so he could watch Shishido fight.

"We've never seen this fighter before," said Marui, getting all dramatic as he struck his fighter's pose.

"Will you be able to defeat him?" Kirihara asked, looking dramatic as well.

"Only time will tell…" Marui said.

"NEXT FIGHTER," bellowed the announcer.


	40. Big Boss

Channel 140- Big Boss

Everyone was quite surprised to see what descended from the heavens this time around. It was a scantily clad woman holding a whip! How scandalous and even a little dirty!

"A woman!" everyone gasped as they slapped their hands on their cheeks so they resembled that weird painting. Having to fight a woman, for them, was very similar to having to deal with a Mary-Sue.

Marui was shocked as well, but he wasn't going to let the woman catch him off guard so he immediately started his special move and once again knocked his opponent up into the air using blue flames and an uppercut, sending her flying against the wall. Her health meter diminished to about two thirds as she stood up and casually used her whip only once, hitting him in the leg, which instantly killed him. And by 'killed' I mean, sent him flying backwards in slow motion.

"At least he got to use his special move," Shiraishi reasoned.

"So all Shishido has to do is finish killing her and we can leave here," said Inui just as Shishido descended from the heavens. He looked a little disoriented and dizzy, but everyone else eagerly urged him to turn around and look at his opponent, which of course initially appalled him.

"How am I supposed to fight _this_?" he demanded.

"Use your special move!" everyone screamed, pointing up at his red bar.

"Special move?" Shishido said confusedly just as he was attacked by the woman.

Because she had initiated the attacking, he felt as though his response was officially justified and considered self defense, so he whipped out his spear and began to return the attacks. Everyone cheered as he got the scantily clad woman on the defensive and got her stuck in the corner against the wall. Instead of nobly allowing her to escape, he continued prodding and attacking her with the spear until she had almost no health left.

"Wait! Use your special move to finish her off!" Momo interrupted.

"What?" Shishido said, turning around. In his moment of distraction, the woman jumped away from him and, as it happened, her special move bar had been completely filled up due to the relentless attacks.

She raised her arm high into the air and a giant wave rose up behind her even though they were obviously inside, and then she lowered her arm and the giant wave went right towards Shishido and crashed into him, sending him flying against the wall.

"Ow!" said Shishido after he had recovered. "Wait, not ow. I feel fine."

"But look at your health," said Choutarou, pointing up. Shishido looked up and saw he was missing half of his health.

"Use your special move!" Kirihara practically ordered.

"I don't know how!" Shishido said.

"Just believe in yourself!" said Choutarou.

Shishido looked at Choutarou and, while everyone else was skeptical and even a little embarrassed _for _him, Shishido looked extremely inspired.

"You're right, Choutarou!" he said. "I can do it if I believe in myself!"

Everyone else cough, and someone shouted at him to just do it because they were curious about what it was going to be.

Shishido crouched down as aura began forming around him and then he suddenly reached into his utility belt and whipped out the largest mallet anyone had ever seen in their entire lives. It was so big it basically took up the entire fighting stage, but he was somehow able to effortlessly hold it over his head and then jump up into the air. Predictably enough, he smashed the mallet down on top of the woman's head as flames erupted from the places where the mallet had connected with the floor.

Instead of being a bloody pulp when Shishido removed the mallet, the woman only stood up and then fell backwards in slow motion.

"Yay Shishido!" cheered Choutarou.

"Well that was fun," said Shishido, as he put his hands on his hips. "Though kind of dumb. I didn't know I had that in there."

"You don't," said Momo. "That's why it's _special_."

"Oh right," said Shishido.

That's when the area around them suddenly faded to black with only spotlights shining down on them just like it had before when they had first met up with Marui and Jackal. Conveniently enough, Marui and Jackal were also there and they walked over and had a party upon discovering Shishido had crushed feminism and defeated the enemy they had thus far been unable to defeat.

"Well?" said Shiraishi, looking at Inui. "We completed the mission. Aren't we supposed to switch Universes now? Isn't that how this whole thing works?"

"I suppose," said Inui, pulling out the remote. "But the remote usually tells me when the mission is complete. This one still says what the mission is, to win the tournament."

"Well, obviously!" said Marui. "We haven't completed the mission yet."

"I thought we just did," said Atobe, his voice rising slightly.

"No, there's still one more round of the tournament," Jackal explained. "We have to defeat the Big Boss."

"Is that going to take a long time?" complained Bane.

"We don't know…we've never faced him," said Marui.

"Well, as long as you guys use your special moves, you'll be fine," said Taka.

"Can we send three other people instead and lose on purpose a few times until everyone gets a turn?" Momo asked.

"Why?" said everyone angrily.

"Because I'm curious about what everyone's special moves are," Momo said.

They were about to tell Momo that he was an idiot, but they all secretly had the same feelings but were too embarrassed to admit it, so they just told him they simply did not have enough continues to do something like that.

"Okay, okay," said Marui. "We'll just do the same formation as before and head on to defeat the Big Boss."

"Shishido was a pretty effective fighter so I think he should go first," Atobe announced.

"I don't want to, though," said Shishido.

"Yes, the way he cornered that helpless woman and relentlessly attacked her with a spear certainly displayed his superb combat techniques," Fuji remarked.

Everyone looked at Fuji.

"Can't I sympathize with her?" Fuji asked.

"No," everyone answered.

Fuji just crossed his arms with that look that said he didn't care what anyone thought because, in the end, he was probably just trying to get a rise out of them since we all know Fuji likes watching people suffer anyway.

"I thought of this cool idea while we were sitting there watching the fights," Saeki began. "And Marui said something about wishing he had a weapon. If we can interact with the fighters and talk to them and walk out onto the stage, and if Shishido can actually become one of the fighters and use a special move, then what is stopping all of us from getting up and mobbing the Big Boss and defeating him simply by overwhelming him with our enormous mass?"

There was a long pause, and Inui calmly put the remote into his pocket.

"Does anyone have a glove?" Inui asked.

"Here," Oshitari said, taking a leather glove out of his pocket.

"Perfect," said Inui as he turned to Saeki and slapped him across the face with the glove, then handed the glove back to Oshitari.

Everyone was quite shocked with Inui's actions, but especially Saeki who looked ultimately betrayed as he caressed his red cheek and demanded an explanation with his sensitive eyes.

"Why didn't you say that sooner?" Inui demanded.

"I don't know…" Saeki said.

"From now on," said Inui. "If anyone has a smart plan then say it or I will smack you too. Just because I'm _Inui _doesn't mean I should have to think up all the plans."

"We're just too afraid of you rejecting the idea!" said Kirihara. "And if you reject the idea, you'd probably smack us too."

"Smacking people is not in my nature," said Inui. "This was an extreme situation."

"Hardly!" said Saeki.

"He's just jealous because he's not on Rokkaku," said Bane as he gave Saeki a hug. Itsuki and David joined in because they love sea activities and each other, but only as friends.

The others were only jealous because they weren't receiving affection so everyone broke up into teams and had a group hug as well. Kirihara was happy because he had teammates to hug, but Shiraishi was very lonely so he just stood there and sighed despairingly in vain hopes that someone would notice he was alone. But once they notice, they only laughed at him because he was the new Kirihara.

"Okay, so we'll just go out there and all ambush the Big Boss at once then," said Eiji once the massive group hug was finished.

"I don't know guys," said Marui. "Jackal and I have been toiling endlessly to get to this point and we want to win with honor! Don't we, Jackal?"

"Well, I think because we've been toiling endlessly, I just want to get it over with at this point," Jackal admitted.

"I feel the same way," Marui said. "I just thought you would want to do it honorably."

"No, I'm cool," Jackal shrugged.

"All right, then we're in agreement," Marui said to everyone else.

"It wouldn't matter if you were in agreement because we were going to do it anyway," Atobe said bluntly.

"Oh," said Marui. "So much for respect and all that."

"Yeah, so much for it," Atobe said.

"All right, then let's do this!" said Eiji excitedly.

Everyone put their hands in the middle one by one. Needless to say, it took quite a while because there are almost twenty people, but once they finished, they decided to save their energy and not jump into the air like Power Rangers.

The blackness faded into a jungle setting, which confused everyone at first.

"Weren't we in a dojo before?" questioned Oishi.

"It's a different stage," Choutarou hypothesized.

Cue the ominous announcer from the heavens: "THREE! TWO! ONE!"

With that, the two fighters descended. The first one was Jackal, and the other one was some crazy war veteran who was wearing a red suit and an absolutely redonkulous hat and various medal decorations. He only stood there looking pompous as Jackal struck a fighter's pose.

"START!"

"GET HIM!" yelled everyone on the sidelines as they immediately sprung up and raced right at the stupid guy in the red suit. His facial expression didn't change as everyone attacked him with great forced and enjoyed cheating until he finally flew backwards in slow motion.

"Nice job guys," said Jackal.

"No problem," said everyone as they brushed some dirt of their shoulders.

With that, there was an explosion of confetti as Marui and Shishido also came down from the heavens.

"Wow, it actually worked out," Marui noted. "I thought for sure cheaters never prospered."

"You'll find cheaters prosper quite regularly," Inui said. "And violence is often the answer."

"Aha…" said Marui, nodding.

Inui took out his remote as it celebrated their completion of the mission by engulfing them with white light.

When the white light finally diminished, they found themselves standing in a familiar place; a soccer field.

"Hey, we're back in the Soccer Universe," said David.

"Yup," said the others. Then they looked at David with question marks over their heads.

"It was just a wild guess," David said. "We're on a soccer field, so I figured… soccer field…?"

"You should just stick to puns," said Bane, but he probably just wanted David to tell a pun so he had an excuse to punch someone.

"I'm glad we have more fighters in the group now," said Oshitari, looking at Marui and Jackal. "It'll just be less work that I'll have to do when Inui makes the teams."

"Why would you need fighters in such a tame Universe like a Soccer Universe?" questioned Jackal.

"Well, it's not quite that tame," Choutarou recalled. "The last time we were here, we blew up a school and robbed a bank."

"_You _robbed a bank and _Kirihara _blew up a school," said Eiji. "Don't try to put the blame on anyone else."

"You guys made me rob the bank!" Choutarou whined.

"I'll take the credit for the explosion," said Kirihara with a slight smile.

"Hopefully we're not wanted for mass murder," said Inui casually. "But, speaking of bank robbing, why don't we resort to that again so we can go back to our favorite hotel and rest before going off to find Kaidou and Kamio?"

"I didn't like that hotel," said Ryoma. "It gave me weird dreams."

With that, they walked off to find the hotel, and Ryoma tripped over something so everyone could laugh at him.


	41. Favorite Hotel

Channel 141- Favorite Hotel

"So, after realizing we were both deaf, we have been sadly living our lives in confusion and attempting to learn sign language," said Kamio.

"Oh, sorry about that," said Choutarou.

"What?" said Kamio and Kaidou.

"What happened?" Itsuki asked.

"Ootori used his super sonic scream powers to deafen the entirety of the school Kamio and Kaidou attend in this Universe," Inui explained to all the newcomers.

"Everyone made me!" said Choutarou.

"That one you did on your own," Oshitari pointed out.

"Really?" Choutarou asked, looking at Shishido.

"Unfortunately, he's right," said Shishido, absolutely horrified that he could not defend Choutarou in his time of need. "It's not like it's his fault or anything, though! It was the only option we had at the time on account of the fact we had just blown up a school—"

Nearly everyone who had participated in the event jumped on top of Shishido to silence him to make sure he wouldn't just blab that to the world. After all, they had only just recently found Kaidou and Kamio, still attending their foolish school with the even more foolish school uniforms. The counter had descended down to a 31 after encountering the two of them and now the remote was telling them it was important they win another soccer game.

"So the St. Nicolas School has been converted into a school for the deaf on account of the entire student body now being deaf," Kaidou explained.

"Do you guys still play deaf soccer?" Eiji asked.

"What?" said Kaidou.

"Do you guys still play deaf soccer?" Eiji repeated, elevating his voice.

"Speaking louder isn't going to help," said Kamio. "We're deaf."

"Let's play charades like when we had to deal with Yuuta!" Momo suggested.

"Yuuta was learning how to speak very well," Fuji insisted, but everyone knew that he was lying but he had told the lie so many times he probably believed it.

"Let's act out playing soccer," Saeki suggested as he put his bag down and pantomimed kicking a soccer ball and then gestured to Kaidou and Kamio, hoping they would come to the conclusion themselves.

Of course, they only looked confused.

"Why are they confused?" Saeki pondered.

"I don't think they're confused about soccer, I think they're just going through that 'WTF' stage," Kirihara said. "You know, with you being here and all. Because it is pretty WTF."

"Why is it always me though?" Saeki whined. "There are plenty of other people here they can point at and say WTF to!"

"There is clearly only one way to solve this problem," said Inui. "Shishido or Ootori, you two have paper and pens, don't you?"

"Yeah," they both answered in unison. They probably would have looked at each other and hugged because of that, but the last thing they needed was people staring at them so they only whipped out their pads of paper and pens and handed them to Inui.

"I only need one," said Inui as if they were inconveniencing him greatly.

"Geez," the Silver Pair said in synchro AGAIN.

Inui took only one set and clearly wrote, _Our_ _mission is to win a soccer game. Do you two still play soccer?_

Then he handed the pad to Kamio and Kaidou. They both read it and looked up.

"Well obviously," said Kaidou.

"Just because we're deaf doesn't mean we can't play soccer," said Kaidou. "We lost our hearing, not our athleticism."

"Just making sure," said Inui, slightly offended they were being so mean to him. In fact, _everyone _was being so mean to him! Poor Inui! (It's all in his head, though.)

So he glared at them, though they couldn't see it behind his glasses, and wrote on the next page, _When_ _is your next game?_

"Tomorrow," Kaidou answered.

"Well, it's a good thing we robbed that bank and rented those hotel rooms for the night then," said Bane.

So Inui conveyed the message to Kaidou and Kamio that the nineteen of them were going to frolic off to their favorite hotel space to stay the night. They promised to meet up with them at the soccer game that was happening the next day and be sure to cheer them on.

"And I'll be a cheerleader again!" said Eiji excitedly.

"Make sure Eiji isn't a cheerleader again," Kaidou said to Oishi.

"Uh…" said Oishi awkwardly.

With that, they parted ways. The large group was tempted to go to the Friendly Eating Place but then they decided against it at the last second in order to get ready for the ever popular DREAM OMAKE!!! PART TWO!!! YAY!!

There were only five rooms available so they decided to split up into four groups of four and one group of three. The way they split up was _almost _completely obvious in that they separated themselves according to team as best they could. The entirety of Rokkaku took Room 1 while Hyoutei took Room 2. Rikkai Dai accepted Shiraishi in Room 3 with them because Kirihara knew what it was like to suck and have no one love him. Room 4 housed the Seigaku underclassmen, Momo and Ryoma, along with the Golden Pair. The last room, Room 5, kept the remaining Seigaku teammates; Fuji, Taka and Inui.

Room 1, AKA The Rokkaku Room, AKA The Sea Activities Room…

"You know, after everything that's happened, I feel kind of sorry for Kentarou after we made fun of him for telling us about this," Bane admitted.

"_I _didn't make fun of him," said Saeki.

"How long have we been doing this?" Itsuki asked.

"You mean hopping around in different Universes?" Saeki inquired, and Itsuki nodded. "I'm not so sure, it's hard to keep track of the days."

"Probably a few weeks at least!" David said.

The rest of Rokkaku stared at him and waited.

"What?" said David.

"You haven't said a pun or told a joke in a super long time," said Saeki.

"I know," said David.

"David says he's learned his lesson," said Bane, crossing his arms and pouting.

"He has?" Itsuki gasped, looking completely shocked. Well, as shocked as Itsuki can look.

"You had to expect it would happen sooner or later on account of the fact that you always punch him or harm him in some kind of way every time he told one," Saeki pointed out to Bane.

"Yeah, yeah…" said Bane with a pout.

Room 2, AKA The Hyoutei Room…

"Two beds?" demanded Atobe. "What an outrage! We had enough beds for everyone _last _time!"

"Last time it was only two people per room," said Oshitari.

"Well, since I am team captain, I claim this bed all to myself," said Atobe as he sat on one of the beds.

Then Choutarou came in the door. "I'm glad it wasn't cloudy out so I could finally get my powers back!" he cheered as he went to shut the door but only succeeded in knocking it off its hinges and making it crumble to the ground. He hastily looked around and then used various other powers he had to fix it in record breaking time.

Of course, everyone was just staring at him the entire time.

"Anyway, like I was saying," said Atobe. "This one is my bed."

"Well then where am I supposed to sleep?" Oshitari said.

"What are you talking about?" said Atobe.

"Obviously Ootori and Shishido are going to make some kind of excuse about it only making sense to share the second bed since they play doubles together, leaving me with nowhere to sleep," Oshitari answered.

"Hey!" said Shishido. "I'm standing right here! So is Choutarou! And that is so not something I was going to do, but now that I think about it, it makes sense and it was your idea in the first place so you have no place making fun of us!"

"See what I mean?" said Oshitari.

Room 3, AKA The Rikkai Dai and Shitenhouji Room…

"There're only two beds," said Kirihara as they all entered the room and looked around.

"I don't feel tired at all," said Marui. "I hardly think I have to sleep."

"I agree," said Jackal. "Have we slept at all since this whole mess started?"

Marui thought hard about that. "I don't think we have," he said.

"As long as we have all our health, we're fine!" said Jackal, pointing at the yellow bar that appeared above his head.

"All right!" said Marui as he and Jackal high fived.

"If that's the case…" said Kirihara slowly. "I suppose the two of you won't mind if we take the beds."

Marui and Jackal were quiet for a few moments.

"Well…what are we supposed to do all night?" Jackal questioned.

"You could fight crime, couldn't you?" Shiraishi suggested.

"Fight crime…" said Marui, heavily considering the option.

"Yeah, with your unlimited stamina, you could probably do a lot of damage by the time it's morning," said Shiraishi. "And by damage I mean good things that are positive to society."

"What a great idea!" said Marui. "This not sleeping thing is great!"

"But I do miss eating!" Jackal pointed out.

"Not more than me!" Marui argued pointlessly as they both frolicked out the door to fight crime.

"Well, we really won out on this arrangement," said Kirihara to Shiraishi.

"Yes," said Shiraishi. "We did."

They stood there for a few seconds before realizing they had nothing in common and nothing to talk about so they proceeded to get ready for bed in complete silence.

Room 4, AKA The Underclassmen and Golden Pair Seigaku Room…

"This is kind of awkward," said Momo.

"I know," said Ryoma.

"I mean, we ride the same bike all the time, but sharing the same bed just seems weird," Momo admitted.

"There's nothing weird about it!" said Eiji. "Me and Oishi share the same bed all the time when Oishi sleeps over at my house!"

"That is way more than I wanted to know," said Momo, making a face.

"And what do you mean by that?" Eiji demanded.

"Eiji, try to keep your voice down, people are trying to sleep," Oishi urged.

"I know, but Momo just insinuated something unkind," Eiji said, throwing a very unthreatening glare at Momo.

"Let's just go to sleep," Ryoma suggested. "We'll probably have to blow up another school in the morning, so we should be well rested for that."

"I hope we don't have to!" Eiji exclaimed.

"Eiji, try to be quiet," Oishi urged.

"I certainly hope we don't have to blow up another school!" Eiji announced as if Oishi had not said anything.

"Eiji, please," said Oishi. "Not only shouldn't you be shouting, but you shouldn't be shouting about the things you are shouting about."

"Good point, Oishi," Eiji nodded. "All right, good night everyone!"

"Um…good night Eiji," said everyone else.

Room 5, AKA The Leftover Seigaku Room…

Taka, Fuji and Inui entered the room and observed the fact that there were only two beds. So, after first trying to diplomatically decide who should get to sleep in them, Inui got a brilliant idea. He went down to the man behind the desk and asked if there were any cots available and, as it turned out, there was! The man gave Inui a cot and he paraded down the hall back to his room where he expected there to be another debate over who had to sleep in the cot, but he found that both Taka and Fuji were snuggled up in the two separate beds without first talking it over with him first!

Initially, he was pretty offended and decided that instead of saying anything he would just walk around the room and set up the cot while making annoyed noises. Taka and Fuji, however, chose to ignore him because if they said anything then maybe Inui would suggest a rousing game of Rock Paper Scissors in order to decide who got to sleep where.

"I guess I'll just sleep here then," said Inui since he couldn't hold it inside himself anymore.

"Guess so," said the other two.

Inui wished he could pull rank on the other two just then, but when it came to their tennis team, they each had the same authority. Even though Inui would like to think he has more authority since he basically comes up with the drills for the whole team but if he dared to bring something like that up then the others would probably just make fun of him.

"Fine, but if we have to stay here more than one night then we're switching off who has to sleep here," Inui warned.

"Okay," said the other two because they were fairly certain they wouldn't have to stay more than one night at the hotel. And, in case that did occur, they would dive into the beds while Inui wasn't looking much like they had done just then.

With that, everyone in all five rooms drifted off to sleep, with the exception of crime fighting Marui and Jackal. Because of everyone's crazy adventures up to this point, they're _bound _to have peculiar dreams! Hm…I wonder…


	42. Omake 3

Channel 142- Omake 3

This hotel does something to people. It makes their dreams tangible and viewable to anyone who wants to see them. You want to see them? Of course you do. Please enjoy.

In Room 1, AKA The Rokkaku Room, AKA The Sea Activities Room, the Rokkakans were dreaming quite soundly. Saeki had quite the pleasant dream…

"_Congratulations, Saeki!" said Coach Ojii. "It is impossible for us to ignore your undeniably superior tennis skills any longer so we award you the Nobel Peace Prize and honor you with the title of captain!"_

_The entirety of Rokkaku began to clap enthusiastically as Saeki wiped a tear from his eye while graciously accepting his well deserved presents._

"_This is a dream come true!" Saeki said. "But…whatever happened to Kentarou?"_

"_Oh nothing," said Ojii. "Since he's a freshman, he'll be here for another two years so he thought it was fair for you to be the captain now and he'll be the captain later. Isn't that right, Kentarou?"_

"_Abso-posi-tivi-lutely!" said Kentarou, giving Saeki the thumbs up._

"_After the ceremony, how about we all do some sea activities?" suggested Ryou._

"_Oh boy!" exclaimed Bane. "I love sea activities!"_

"_Sea activities are my favorite!" agreed David. The rest of the team agreed whole heartedly._

_Saeki's eyes welded with tears as streamers and balloons fell from the sky, covering the team with confetti. He waved to the crowd like he had just been crowned Miss America…_

Clearly Saeki has a lot of passive aggressive anger and keeps a lot of his resentment towards certain people pent up inside of him.

Itsuki was also having a fairly good dream. And his dream happened to heavily revolve around sea activities as well. As a matter of fact, one might think Itsuki's dream was a sequel to Saeki's dream, except Saeki wouldn't be the captain in Itsuki's dream unless Itsuki secretly resents Kentarou as well.

"_SEA ACTIVITIES!" shouted Rokkaku as they jumped up into the air when they arrived at the beach. Each of them had a shovel and a pail and was absolutely psyched to do activities that related to the sea._

"_Oh boy, I love sea activities!" exclaimed Bane._

_As they did sea activities, they all decided to join hands and frolic happily together in order to think up new and creative activities that still involved the sea._

"_All right, it's Kentarou's turn to think up a new sea activity," said Saeki._

"_Hm…" said Kentarou thoughtfully. "What if…what if we…played card games! Near the sea!"_

"_Oh boy!" said Bane. "Sea activities involving card games! What could be better?"_

"_I can't think of any better way to play sea activities!" said Ryou._

_With that, the team whipped out a deck of cards and started playing sea activity card games._

Well, Itsuki's dream was certainly mind-numbing. We can certainly tell the extent of what he thinks about all day. Though I do find it rather amusing that Itsuki still doesn't say anything even in his own dreams.

David, meanwhile, was having a dream a little more disturbing than Saeki and Itsuki's.

"_OH DEAR!" David exclaimed as he witnessed a murder. He didn't know the killer and he didn't know the victim, but the killer chased him all the way home._

_David slammed the door and called the police. There was a lot of hullabaloo and commotion, and when the killer was behind bars and all was said and done, David's mother put her hands on her hips and said, "You're moving in with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air!"_

_So David whistled for the cab and when it came near, the license plate said 'Fresh' and had dice in the mirror. If anything, David could say that this cab was rare. But he thought, "Nah, forget it!" and said, "Yo homie, to Bel-Air!"_

_He pulled up to a house about seven or eight and yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homie, smell you later!" David looked at his kingdom since he was finally there to sit on his throne as the prince of Bel-Air._

Now, David had gotten to a point where he was enjoying his dream, but Bane's spidey senses started tingling and he immediately sat up straight in bed. Bane could tell just by looking at David that he was having a BS dream, so he wound up and punched a sleeping person.

This, of course, awoke David as well. "Hey!" said David. "Why'd you do that?"

"I could tell you were having a BS dream which is the same as telling a pun in my book!" Bane announced.

"You just wanted to punch me!" David cried, rubbing his nose.

"Well…yeah," Bane admitted. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

"No, it wasn't good at all!" David said. "The reason I stopped telling puns is so that you would stop punching me! Now you're punching me for various other reasons not relating to puns at all!"

"You can't blame me," said Bane. "If you hadn't stopped saying puns then I wouldn't have to punch you for _other _reasons!"

"Be quiet!" shouted Saeki and Itsuki as they threw things at Bane and David since they were angry they had been awakened from their good dreams involving captainhood and sea activities.

In Room 2, AKA The Hyoutei Room, the Hyoutens were having their share of interesting dreams.

We'll start with Atobe's just because it is so gosh darned psychotic.

_DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!"_

_Atobe was…STILL continuously shooting Sutefuani's limp body before him._

Clearly that event traumatized him more than anyone can possibly imagine.

Oshitari was dreaming as well. And, again, it involved Gakuto. But this time, we're going to show it to you.

What, are you afraid?

Come on, be a man and read it.

_Oshitari was sitting in his detective chair and the world around him was in black and white. The window's blinds were drawn, but it was clear it was raining outside._

_Oshitari tipped his hat down and commented, "It's hard to trust a close mouthed man. He generally picks the wrong time to talk and often says the wrong thing. Talking is something you can't do judiciously, unless you keep it in practice."_

"_Haven't I tried to buy your trust with money?"_

_Oshitari spun around in his chair to see the dame in front of him, who actually happened to be Gakuto in a dress._

"_There's nothing else you could buy it with," said Oshitari, lighting a cigarette. "The problem is, Gakuto, I don't exactly believe your story. You see, I believe the money. I mean, you paid me more than if you were telling the truth, and just enough to make it all right."_

"_I paid you already!" Gakuto said, slamming his hands on the table._

"_What are you going to do?" said Oshitari, standing up. "Kill me? If you kill me, how are you going to get your case solved? And if I know you can't afford to kill me, how are you going to scare me into solving your case?"_

"_People lose teeth talking like that," said Gakuto._

_Instead of responding, Oshitari just slapped Gakuto across the face. Gakuto was going to react, but Oshitari said, "When you get slapped, you take it and like it."_

It was right then that Oshitari woke up. He was sleeping on the floor with a sheet he found in the closet because things didn't exactly work out for him to sleep on a bed. Now he was staring at the ceiling in an awfully confused manner, trying to figure out whether or not that dream had actually happened. You know, role playing.

Regardless, there are several other dreams that need to be explored. For example, Choutarou's dream was discussed but never shown. Thankfully, it happens to be a recurring dream of his…

"_Happy Valentine's Day!" said everyone as they passed each other in the hallways. Choutarou wasn't sad or anything since he had received gracious Valentine's greetings as well, but everyone was so gosh darned preoccupied with giving Valentine's greetings that they never bothered to wish him a happy birthday!_

"_Hi Choutarou," said Shishido._

_Choutarou saw his doubles partner and best friend ever approaching him and suddenly he had a revelation; Shishido would NEVER forget his birthday! He was elated with joy as Shishido walked over and then just stood there and said nothing to him._

_So Choutarou continued to wait, but Shishido didn't say anything._

"_Valentine's Day is stupid," Shishido said finally as he walked away._

_Choutarou gasped. Even though Shishido hadn't said, 'Your birthday is stupid,' it somehow felt like he had because Valentine's DayChoutarou's birthday, and Shishido had said Valentine's Day was stupid! And, what's worse; Shishido didn't wish him a happy birthday!_

_This was easily the worst birthday EVER!_

Fortunately, Choutarou was rescued from his nightmare because Shishido was shaking him awake.

"Choutarou, wake up!" Shishido whispered.

Choutarou turned over and looked up at Shishido. "Yes, Shishido?" he said.

Shishido paused. "Were you crying?" he asked.

Choutarou sat up and wiped his eyes. "No!" he said immediately.

"Oh, okay," said Shishido. "Well, I had that dream again."

"The dream with the crab and the loafers and the lightning?" Choutarou said, sounding very concerned.

"Yeah!" said Shishido. "I feel like I have it every night!"

"Well," said Choutarou, reaching under the bed and pulling out a book. "I bought this book earlier today with the money I robbed from the bank!"

"What book is it?" Shishido asked curiously.

"It's a dream book," Choutarou answered.

Shishido looked skeptical as Choutarou flipped through the pages at super fast speed.

"Let's see…" said Choutarou. "I'm looking up crabs to see what they represent…" He continued to flip through the pages. "Oh, here it is! Crabs…here…"

He read it to himself as Shishido leaned in to read the page as well, but Choutarou suddenly pulled the book back.

"Shishido…" he said dramatically.

"What does it mean?" Shishido asked.

He slowly raised his eyes from the book and said very seriously, "You're gay."

"_What?"_ Shishido practically shouted.

"It's true!" said Choutarou. "That's why you were running away because the crab represents your sexuality because it doesn't know which way it's going. And that's why you ran away! You were running away from your gayness!"

"What—what about—the lightning?" Shishido said frantically.

Choutarou looked back down at the book. "Lightning…" he said to himself and then pointed at the page. "Emphasizes the gay. If there's lightning, that means you're very gay."

"Very gay?" Shishido said despairingly.

"And the loafers—oh no!" Choutarou exclaimed.

"What about the loafers?" Shishido said.

But then he happened to notice that Choutarou was chuckling warmly.

"What?" said Shishido with a glare.

"I was just kidding!" Choutarou said as he showed the book to Shishido. "This isn't even a dream book. It's the Bible that is in every hotel room."

Shishido sat there looking confused. "…What?"

"I don't know," said Choutarou with a shrug. "I guess I was just still bitter from what you did in my dream."

With that, Choutarou pulled the covers up and lied back down to go to sleep, leaving Shishido there looking bewildered.

"He had me going for a minute there too," said Oshitari from the floor.

"Shut up!" Shishido commanded as he lied back down as well looking grumpy.


	43. Omake 4

Channel 143- Omake 4

Since Shishido and Choutarou took up so much space in the previous chapter with their crazy antics, we had to stretch the Dream Omake into TWO! I'm sure no one is disappointed, so let's continue and try not to bleed into three chapters.

In Room 3, AKA The Rikkai Dai and Shitenhouji Room…

Shiraishi was lying cozy in his bed and this is what he was dreaming about:

………..

THAT'S RIGHT!! He wasn't dreaming at all. Shiraishi is _so _lame and _so _boring that he doesn't even dream. And it just makes him that much more lame and boring because this a dream chapter. LOSER.

Anyway, Marui and Jackal weren't dreaming either because they're not asleep. But that doesn't make them losers because they're out having a night on the town and painting it red. Who knows if they're rioting or if they're fighting crime, but either way I'm sure they're having a great time.

As for Kirihara, he _was _having a dream! Good old reliable Kirihara…

_Kirihara was linked arms with various other people from Rikkai Dai and was frolicking in a field of flowers. That song was playing in the background; "You're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration!"_

Hm…maybe that's everything Kirihara ever thinks about. How boring! And it's actually a little disturbing to me because every time I think about that song all I can picture is Sanada and his stupid rock spinning in circles and being in love with each other.

Anyway, this room was just a big disappointment, but such a thing can only be expected from a room that has a diverse group of individuals who aren't all on each other's team!!! And half of them are missing. Anyway.

In Room 4, AKA The Underclassmen and Golden Pair Seigaku Room…

Momo was sitting in class. No, not really, but in the dreams. Oh, I guess this part has to be in italics then…

_Momo was sitting in class and the teacher asked a very complicated math problem that Momo didn't know the answer to because he didn't do the homework last night._

"_Momoshiro, you answer the question!" the teacher commanded._

"_Uh…" said Momo nervously._

"_It looks like Momo doesn't know the answer," said the teacher, putting her hands on her hips. "Stand up and show everyone that you don't even know how to put your clothes on in the morning!"_

_Momo ashamedly stood up to reveal he was only wearing his underwear as everyone in the class pointed and laughed at him. He buried his face in his hands and ran away crying, an empty shell of a boy._

Momo woke up. It seems as though everyone's having strange dreams that wake them up. But Momo wasn't sad or afraid or anything, he was just disappointed because his dream from the last time they were in this hotel was just as dumb. So he rolled his eyes and went back to sleep, trying hard to think of tennis before he fell asleep in hopes that his mind could be fooled into dreaming about tennis.

Speaking of tennis dreams, Ryoma is next!

"_Last point!" called the referee._

_Ryoma readied himself to serve the ball, and glanced back at the scoreboard to see that he was still in the lead by several games. After he finished this point, he would win and easily sweep the entire match! And his opponent was someone dumb and unthreatening like…Bane or something. It doesn't really matter who it is. Maybe it was Horio. That would make more sense than it being Bane._

_Ryoma leapt up into the air and performed his world famous twist serve. However, the opponent, whoever he may be, managed to return it, which caught Ryoma completely off guard and he ended up losing the point._

_He figured it was fine because he was so far ahead so he could afford to lose that one point._

"_Game set and match!" called the referee._

_Ryoma was confused so he looked at the scoreboard to see that the scores had been flipped at some point between the last time he checked and just then! He slapped his cheeks and then fainted because that meant the he lost a tennis match which was the worst thing ever._

This woke Ryoma up, of course, because he didn't want to be apart of that dream. He actually came pretty close to weeping, but he pulled himself together at the last second when he noticed Momo was awake and raising an eyebrow at him because his lip was quivering slightly.

Tonight, Oishi and Eiji were having separate dreams. Or should I say NIGHTMARES. Any dream they don't have at the same time must be a nightmare! In addition to not sharing their dream, both of them were experiencing horrid things that they also didn't not want to be apart of.

Fully illustrating these dreams would be sort of pointless so here is the basic outline; Oishi was having a typical girl dream. It involved rainbows, ponies and princes and a happy ending. Eiji, on the other hand, dreamt that everyone finally returned to their original Universe but, for some reason, Oishi had remained female! It was horrible for both of them and, because of that, they both woke up IN SYNCHRO and then hugged each other and cried… IN SYNCHRO.

Ryoma and Momo were both awake as well and were startled by the sudden waking up and hugging and weeping from the Golden Pair. Ryoma probably wanted to go over and join them in their weeping, but he knew it would just be disrespectful to interrupt them.

Instead, he and Momo looked at each other skeptically and hoped the Golden Pair PDA would end soon so they could all get back to sleep.

In Room 5, AKA the Leftover Seigaku Room…

Inui still had some resentment from having to sleep on the cot, but he didn't let it bother him. He eventually got to sleep and had the worst nightmare of all time…

_Inui was sitting at his desk as the teacher handed back the tests they had taken the previous day._

_Inui received his test._

_Inui picked up the test._

"_98 PERCENT?" he shrieked._

_Everyone stood up and pointed at him and laughed._

_Then Inui stood up and realized he was only wearing his underwear._

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_ _Inui shouted as he ran out of the room in tears._

Yikes. What a nightmare. Especially that part where he got a 98 percent on his test.

Luckily Inui didn't wake up or else he would have woken everyone else up just so command them to tell him how smart he actually is. Taka was finally able to sleep through the night and have his own dream.

"_Yes!" said Taka as he stood at the edge of the raging sea with a grill confidently in front of him. "I have finally fulfilled my dream!"_

"_What is your dream, Taka?" said some random faceless person who stood behind him and shrugged flamboyantly._

"_To cook sushi by the raging sea!"_ _Taka shouted dramatically as a wave crashed against the rocks, launching several fish into the air so they landed right on the grill, which immediately began to cook them. Taka furiously began to turn them into sushi._

"_But…I thought sushi was not supposed to be cooked," said the random faceless person._

_Taka paused a moment. "Oh right," he remarked as the grill disappeared and was replaced with a cutting board. _

_That's the good thing about dreams; they can be adjusted very easily. Instead of cooking the fish, he merely chopped them and served them to the crowd of people standing behind him. Everyone was joyful and cheered for his amazing technique._

_And then, once everyone in the crowd was satisfied, Taka put down his knife and picked up his tennis racket. "And I still play tennis too!" he announced._

"_YAAAAAY!" exclaimed the crowd._

Gee whiz, is Taka the only one who had a good dream? Saeki had a good dream… and so did Kirihara… and Itsuki. And Oshitari. And Atobe. Well, I guess a lot of people have had good dreams, but the bad ones are just easier to remember.

Ever wonder what Fuji dreams about? Let's all take a look inside his head once again and hope we come back alive…

_At some point in the day, Fuji had sprouted wings and was now fluttering around the land, trailing bubbles behind him. Every place he flew over sprouted flowers and vines, all of which were in the shapes of hearts._

_All of his Seigaku teammates frolicked after him, except they didn't look quite like themselves. They were each dwarfed and miniaturized while wearing white tuxedos. Even though they had somehow become midgets, they didn't seem to care or even notice because they just kept swinging each other around and leaping into the air. They also had weird voices that were very deep and made them sound like they had been smoking since they had come out of the womb._

_And, naturally, Fuji's friends that make an appearance in all of his dreams, the Train Conductor and the Clown, came frolicking up over the hill, with their bubble pipes that popped out big pink hearts. The sun spun around to reveal it had a face, and winked down at the entire crowd._

_Everyone picked up baskets and started to hunt for raspberries until they were practically swimming in them. All of the raspberries were huge, had faces and chuckled as they were munched on._

_Fuji_ _eventually landed and wandered into a cave that sparkled and had dripping stalagmites that made everyone hungry._

_In the distance, he could hear the voice of someone singing; "Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey-ya!"_

_Fuji curiously followed the voice as all of his friends waited at the entrance of the cave, still extremely hungry because of all the stalagmites._

_Eventually, he reached the an open space in the tunnel where there was a stupid looking mouse with big rosy cheeks sitting on top of a rock and singing. Fuji walked right up to it and stared down at it until it stopped singing._

"_Ah!" said the mouse. "I love it when new friends sing to me!"_

"_I wasn't singing," Fuji pointed out._

"_Well, you will now that I have invited you!" said the mouse._

"_Perhaps I will," said Fuji._

"_And what is your name, new friend of mine?" asked the mouse._

"_I seem to have forgotten it," said Fuji with a cheery smile._

"_That must be why I am not afraid of you!" said the mouse. "I cannot be afraid of someone who does not even know who he is."_

"_Oh I know who I am," said Fuji. "I just can't seem to remember."_

"_Well, you and I are still good friends, aren't we?" said the mouse happily._

_Fuji chuckled warmly, reached out, grabbed the mouse and then twisted its neck around three quarters of the way, killing it instantly. He smiled all the way through and then skipped back outside the cave where his friends were still waiting. They were eating the raspberries because the stalagmites had made them so gosh darned hungry._

Well, Fuji's dream continued in such a manner all through the night. Lingering in such a place will only make it more difficult to escape later on when our fear grows to immense proportions.

So, the dream omakes are out of the way (SO STOP ASKING FOR THEM) and be ready to experience DEAF SOCCER in the coming chapters!! (Can I get a woot woot?)


	44. Eenis

Channel 144- Eenis

Everyone was sitting in the little mini breakfast room in the hotel, each with their bizarre outfits and various accoutrements that made them unique from one another or the regular universe.

They were all schmoozing while eating their relatively free breakfasts when Marui and Jackal crashed through the door and, instead of looking triumphant as they _should _have looked after a night of crime fighting, they looked pretty worried as they hurried over to where the others were sitting and practically crouched behind them.

"What's wrong with you two?" questioned Taka delicately.

"If anybody asks," Marui started as they sat down at the table. "We were here last night." Then he turned to Kirihara and Shiraishi who ere only sitting there innocently enjoying a bagel. "Got it?"

And when I said Kirihara and Shiraishi were enjoying a bagel, they were absolutely not enjoying the _same _bagel. They each had a different bagel and were enjoying their separate bagels. I just wanted to clarify that for anyone who may have been thrown off by that statement.

"Well, I think it's about time for us to attend a rousing game of Deaf Soccer," said Inui as he stood up.

Choutarou raised his hand and waited until Inui nodded at him. "Today is one of those days I can heal," he reported.

Inui only stared at Choutarou in response. "Okay," he said finally. "Good to know."

"What Choutarou means is," Shishido said, sounding overly exasperated. "He could heal everyone's blown out eardrums."

"What would that prove?" said Atobe. "We're just going to go to the next Universe in which everything resets anyway."

"True," said Saeki. "But if Kaidou, Kamio and the rest of their team weren't deaf, that would give them an advantage over everyone who _is _deaf."

"Meaning that once again, cheating is the best way to accomplish our goals…" said Oshitari thoughtfully.

"Isn't that always the case?" Eiji asked. "But our morals are supposed to tell us what is right and steer us away from making dishonest choices?"

"Supposedly," said Shiraishi with a shrug.

"While we're at it, why don't we just blow up another school again?" Ryoma suggested. Perhaps his intention was to be sarcastic, but a few people looked like they were considering the idea. "I wasn't serious."

"You might be on to something there," Fuji commented.

"Knowing someone like Kaidou," said Momo, trying to distract everyone from the subject of mass murder. "He probably wouldn't want us to heal him just so he could prove he won fair and square."

"That's true," said Inui. "But let's not give him a choice in the matter."

"HERE HERE!" said everyone as they raised their beverages in the air and clinked them.

So, with their plans solid and true, they ventured out of the hotel and hoped no one had overheard them. Had anyone done such a thing, it would be an awkward explanation when they were questioned by people or, worse, police men!

"Since we have some time before we have to actually be at the deaf soccer game, do you all want to go and get some clothes that are less stupid looking?" Kirihara suggested.

"There's no point," said Oishi. "We'll be leaving by the end of the day anyway."

"I think you _want _to be in a dress," said Kirihara.

"That's not true," said Oishi as he looked like he would suddenly burst into tears.

"It's okay, Oishi, we don't need _him_!" said Eiji as he metaphorically took Oishi under his metaphoric wing and then gave him a real hug (you know, as opposed to a metaphoric one.)

"Don't you think it would be more practical if we used our extra time to track down every member of the soccer team?" tried Taka.

"And kill them?" Inui said.

Taka looked taken aback. "What?" he said. "No, of course not!"

"Injure them so they can't play?" Inui said.

"No!" said Taka. "Why would we want to injure or kill them?"

"So they won't be able to play anymore," Inui answered.

"But I thought we _wanted _them to play," Taka said.

Inui stared at Taka blankly for a moment. "Oh," he said finally. "When you say track down members of the soccer team, you meant the players who are on Kaidou and Kamio's team, not the ones who are on the opposing team. And your reasoning for tracking them all down individually would be to heal them of the deafness we have so accidentally imposed on them."

"Yes," said Taka. "That is what I meant."

"You should have specified that," said Inui.

"Well you shouldn't have automatically assumed that Taka wanted to stalk, kill or harm anybody," said Fuji, putting his hands on his hips.

"That's true, because Taka has a history of not wanting to do any of that stuff," said Momo.

"Excuse me for being a forward thinker," said Inui.

"How is your blind violence forward thinking?" Bane demanded.

"You're one to talk," said David to Bane.

Bane took a deep breath. "Wow," he said. "That's all I can say. Wow."

"And you know what?" said David. "No matter how many times you say 'wow', when you say it backwards, it's still 'wow'."

The entire group was silent for a long time. Then Bane stepped backwards to get a running start but, instead of punching David, he only grabbed him into a hug, spun him around and thanked him for telling a pun again. Then he punched him.

"Aw, it was as hard for me as it was for you," David admitted, lightly punching Bane's shoulder.

"Don't do it again," Bane warned.

"Now that we've had that lovely little distraction, perhaps we could actually get something done?" Shiraishi suggested.

"Are we getting new clothes or not?" said Atobe with a sigh.

"No, we're not," said Inui.

Atobe only snapped his fingers in disappointment.

"We are going to take Taka's ingenious suggestion and track down members of the soccer team that we want to win and heal them of their deafness," Inui announced.

"Do we really _all _have to be there to do that?" Marui asked.

They all looked at him and then up at the yellow bar floating above his head. It was half diminished.

"Say, Marui," said Kirihara. "How did you health bar get half diminished?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" said Marui defensively.

"What exactly did you guys do last night?" said Kirihara as if he were a concerned parent. "I get the feeling that you didn't fight crime or do anything good for humanity."

"Just because we're cooler than you doesn't mean you can get all accusatory with us," said Jackal.

"What's one little gang shooting anyway?" said Marui with a flamboyant shrug.

"You were shot?" said Itsuki.

"Twice!" said Marui proudly. "But bleeding flesh wounds are for the weak!"

"What is a bleeding flesh wound?" said Bane and David at the same time in perfect harmony.

"You are all very annoying," Oshitari said finally.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Saeki since Oshitari had successfully lumped him into that category as well even though he hadn't said anything.

"All you new people," Oshitari clarified. "Very annoying. We would have finished everything a lot quicker if you all weren't here."

"I agree," said Shishido. "I bet we'd be all the way in Harry Potter Universe by now."

"No, I bet we'd be in the Ninja Universe for sure," said Ryoma.

"I'd bet we'd be in the Jungle Universe," said Momo. "Or better yet, we probably would have finished by now!"

"Don't blame us for your misgivings," said Saeki since he was the spokesman for the new people because he was always the one people pointed at and said 'WTF?'

"You know what would make this whole situation easier?" said Fuji. "If, when we started each Universe, we took turns completing it by ourselves. But, since we need to be all together in order to switch Universe, we should just kill everyone except for the person who is completing it on his own, and then when he completes the mission, we'd all be taken to the next Universe without having to deal with the heartache of completing the mission."

"Do we even have to answer seriously to that?" asked Shiraishi.

"Those are cute last words," Fuji commented.

"All right, all right," said Inui. "Enough."

"What school are they playing against anyway?" Kirihara asked.

"Eenis's School for the Deaf," Inui replied.

"Oh," said Kirihara. "Okay."

"Come on," said Inui. "Let's complete the mission."

Then what followed was a…MONTAGE! Cue, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go!" Do you remember that scene in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective? You know, the one where he's going up to each of the football players and checking their ring and then crossing out the faces of the players when he decides they're innocent? Well, that's basically what was happening, except it was much more exciting because it had the best song ever and was reminiscent of those crazy church moments that are like, "YOU ARE HEALED!"

Yeah. You think it doesn't make sense…but you get it.

"Great leaping salamanders of flame!" exclaimed one of the kids as he was revived of his irreparable hearing disabilities. "I CAN HEAR!"

"Yes my good friend," said Choutarou since he was getting use to these reactions. The soccer player knelt to the ground and wept as Choutarou patted him on the head.

"You know, this is actually good," said Oishi as they strolled away from that particular soccer player. "We're undoing all the damage we did the last time we were here!"

"Not really all of it," said Ryoma. "We're only fixing the hearing of twenty or so kids."

"The real way to undo the damage would be to fix that school we blew up," said Momo. "Or, actually, the school Kirihara blew up."

"Well there's no way to fix that," said Shishido. "It's not like Choutarou has a reversing time or bringing people back to life power."

"He doesn't?" said everyone as the simultaneously stopped walking.

"I told you I didn't have every power in the world," said Choutarou, crossing his arms.

"How long until the game starts?" Eiji asked no one in particular.

"Forty-five minutes," said Inui, looking at the watch he had purchased at a convenience store earlier. He didn't steal it because stealing is wrong.

"How many more people do we have to heal?" Atobe questioned as Shishido whipped out the picture of the soccer team.

"Just a few more," Shishido replied. "Kaidou and Kamio included."

"So why don't we go to the field and ambush them as they show up?" said Shiraishi.

"Or gather them all together and do a big group heal?" said Oishi since he loves to make things about friends and team and good happy feelings.

"Could you do that?" Oshitari said to Choutarou.

"Yeah," said Choutarou with a shrug.

"Why didn't we just do that, then?" said Bane, looking annoyed. "What was with that whole montage adventure we had earlier when we could have just showed up and healed them all at the same time?"

Everyone looked at each other confusedly and admitted they didn't have a sane answer to his question, so they were just going to ignore it all together and frolic to the soccer field! Sure enough, half the team was there and looking gleeful because they could hear again, while the other half of the team was disappointed because their hearing had not returned. You'd think they'd be optimistic and excited because if their teammates hearing had suddenly returned, perhaps theirs would as well! How ungrateful!

"Do you guys have something to do with this?" said Kaidou as he and Kamio walked over to the enormous.

"What made you think that?" said Inui.

"What?" said Kaidou and Kamio.

Inui slapped his forehead and took out the whiteboard he had also purchased from the convenience store. He scribed, "_What makes you think that?"_

"Because everyone said that a huge group of people suddenly walked up to them and then they were suddenly healed of their equally sudden hearing loss!" Kamio answered.

"Oh," said Inui. "That makes sense."

"What?" said Kaidou and Kamio.

"Never mind," said Inui with a sigh. "Let's just heal them."

"When you say 'let's', you mean Choutarou, right?" said Shishido. "Don't try to take the credit when you're not doing any work."

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," said Inui.

"It's okay, Shishido," said Choutarou. "I don't mind him taking partial credit for my healing abilities, as long as he takes partial credit for the banks I've robbed and various other misdeeds I've been talked into doing while I have super powers!"

"I can handle that," said Inui. "Though I wasn't looking for credit for your healing abilities either."

"PS, where did the entirety of Rikkai Dai go?" Eiji asked randomly.

They all looked around confusedly. Where _did _Rikkai Dai go?

Just when they were pondering that, the entirety of Rikkai Dai walked over.

"Hey guys," said Kirihara, looking smug.

"Where did you all go?" Inui asked suspiciously.

"Oh nowhere," said Jackal.

"Let's just say that we don't suspect we'll have to play any soccer today," Marui added.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Saeki.

Just then, the ref started blowing his whistle as he ran over to where most of the people were standing. "I'm afraid this game has been cancelled!" he said through a megaphone he seemed to accumulate out of nowhere. He also had a sign language interpreter running up next to him.

"What happened?" asked Kaidou and Kamio's coach since apparently he had not lost his hearing.

"It seems as though Eenis's School for the Deaf has mysteriously exploded!" the ref answered.

As soon as he said that, all of our heroes turned and glared at Kirihara, Marui and Jackal. But they all just gave playful shrugs as the remote beeped and told them the mission was complete. As the white light engulfed them, Inui said, "We only use drastic measures when I say it's okay to use drastic measures."

With that said, the world around the dissipated and they paused with bated breath to see which Universe they would land in next.


	45. Ambiguous Name

Channel 45- Ambiguous Name

"We can hear!" cheered Kaidou and Kamio before anyone said anything else.

"At what cost?" said Choutarou, dramatically clenching his fist.

"What did you guys do?" said Kaidou.

"It's not what _we _did," said Eiji. "It's what _they _did."

Eiji pointed directly at Rikkai Dai who were giving each other high fives. "What, so now it's 'we' and 'they'?" said Marui when he noticed they were segregated. "I see how it is! Now I know why you were so annoyed with being at a lack of fellow Rikkai Dai members, Kirihara!"

"It's what I've been saying all along!" said Kirihara.

"We're sorry to have doubted you," said Jackal.

"Say, our health bars are restored!" Marui noticed.

"Neat!" Jackal shrugged.

"So…what did you guys do?" Kaidou repeated after somewhat of a pause.

"You didn't blow up another school, did you?" said Kamio.

Everyone just decided both Kaidou and Kamio's questions because they thought it would be more interesting to leave things up to their imagination. So Kaidou and Kamio decided to imagine a situation that involved no random killings or explosions. You know, something completely unlikely.

"What Universe are we in now?" Saeki asked Inui since he's responsible and genuinely interested.

"I'm glad you asked," said Inui since he is smart and loves to hear the sound of his own voice, which is quite sexy. (You know it.)

"It doesn't look familiar," Atobe noticed.

"That's because it isn't," Inui replied. "It is a new Universe."

"I hate new Universes," said Shishido.

"As do we all," Oshitari agreed.

"I wish we were home right now!" declared Momo. Then he looked at Shiraishi who was just standing there like a stuffed animal. "Well?"

"What?" said Shiraishi.

"I made a wish," said Momo. "Shouldn't you be granting it?"

"I lost my powers," Shiraishi said, furrowing his brow slightly that he had to remind Momo of such a fact.

"I know," said Momo. "I was just checking to see if you got them back."

"Why would I suddenly get them back?" Shiraishi said.

"I don't know," said Momo. "Why not?"

"Why so?" said Shiraishi.

"Stop it, this is a pointless conversation," said Inui. "We are in a new Universe and, as of right now, it seems relatively normalish."

"And by normalish, you mean like not ninjas or magic or outer space or health bars any weird stuff like that," David assumed.

"Yes, that is what I mean," said Inui, rolling his eyes, his way of telling David to keep up with the lingo.

"Could this be the Band Universe?" questioned Oishi.

"No, the Band Universe directly followed the Yuuta Universe," said Fuji.

"I think we called it the Fairy Tale Universe," Eiji said.

"No, I'm certain we called it the Yuuta Universe," said Fuji. He sounded pretty convinced so no one was going to argue with him.

"So we know for sure that this Universe isn't any of the normalish ones you've encountered in the past, right?" Bane clarified.

"Yes, we know that for sure," said Inui. "Because the Universe we encountered following the Soccer Universe last time was the OMG Universe, which was very distinct in appearance. So because this is not the OMG Universe, it must be a new one, since thus far they have all been in the same order with a few random new ones interspersed throughout."

"I wonder how the new choreography is going for those guys," said Choutarou thoughtfully.

"So how do we tell what we're supposed to do in a new Universe?" questioned Marui.

"Um…we wander around aimlessly until we find someone we recognize," said Inui regrettably.

"Or until the remote beeps!" Saeki added.

"Very good," said Inui in a manner that suggested he would have liked to give Saeki a tasty and edible treat for responding correctly. Saeki noticed this and was slightly offended but he chose not to show it.

"I hope these new people are also on Rikkai Dai!" said Kirihara.

"You know it!" said Jackal.

"For the sake of schools everywhere, let's hope not," said Kaidou.

"Inui, you mentioned earlier about this Universe looking pretty normalish," said Oishi slowly, trying to get back to the point.

"Yes, I did," said Inui.

"Well, it might just be the weather…" David started, glancing at his watch. "But it is hardly noon and it's dark enough to give the illusion that the sun has already set!"

Everyone looked in the distance at the moon.

"Actually, the sun _has _set," he observed.

"Looks like rain," Taka added.

As soon as he said that, the heavens opened up and roared. Then it immediately began to pelt rain down upon them, causing them to be in quite a state of disarray. They happened to be in a park at this particular time so they all darted into a nearby and extremely convenient shack.

"Hey!" said Marui, looking up at his health bar to see it was halfway diminished. "Water is super effective against me!"

"That's dumb," Jackal commented, and everyone else agreed.

"How does that even happen?" questioned Shiraishi.

But then they all stopped moving because they felt a disturbance in the force. And no, that is not an allusion to what type of Universe this is. In fact, it's quite far to being even close to what this Universe is all about.

However, the disturbance was still there. And, now that they considered the meaning of the phrase "disturbance in the force," a few of more intelligent ones came to the conclusion that the disturbance went far beyond that of the force. It actually spanned to the disturbance of the entire earth, as it was now starting to shake. The wooden shake they were in started to splinter and rock from side to side as if there was some kind of earth quake.

Just as abruptly as it all began, it stopped. By this time, there were people standing in doorways or huddled in the corner with their hands over their heads, hoping to be protected from falling debris. Most people got through the quake without injury, and those that did receive it were just exaggerating because it wasn't that bad; only surprising.

"What was that all about?" questioned Bane, putting his hands on his hips.

"Do you think it has anything to do with the sudden rain storm and the fact that it's almost completely dark in the middle of the day?" David suggested.

"I don't know," Bane remarked.

"I think the events might be related," Choutarou tried.

"It wouldn't be wise to rule anything out at this point," Inui said. "Because, as we have seen before, Universes that appear normal at the first glance often turn out to be more distorted than the more peculiar Universes we arrived in."

"Like the time Oishi and Fuji were girls!" Eiji exclaimed.

"Yes, I believe that was the example everyone was thinking of," said Oishi with a frown.

"But no one else needed to say it," Fuji said, glaring. Just as how water was super effective against Marui, Fuji!glares were super effective against Eiji! In fact, they're probably super effective against anyone. I know _I _wouldn't want to be on the other side of one of those.

Just as they were about to settle down and tend to their wounds, the floorboards of the shack began to crack from underneath. Instead of doing anything intelligent, everyone grabbed onto each other in one big comforting hug and opted to scream for their dear lives. The longer the stood there, the more opportunity they gave whatever was underneath the shake to make itself known to them.

And they certainly regretted that decision several seconds later when the floorboards were pushed completely aside to reveal about half a dozen…

"ZOMBIES!" everyone exclaimed as they slapped their cheeks dramatically.

Sure enough, they weren't lying for the sake of the ones who had closed their eyes in fright because there really were zombies in front of them. And they were legit zombies too, with missing limbs and decaying flesh and various other attribute that made them that much more repulsive and putrid.

The zombies seemed somewhat taken aback with the inaction their prey was taking. They seemed unsure how to act because they were being assaulted with loud noises after their slumber within the earth. And, let me just tell you right now: these zombies were _not _the friendly kind. You know, because zombies are often portrayed as good and all that (?) and I just want to quell those queries and make sure it is well known that these zombies do not have any good intentions. They're only intentions are to eat the brains of the living, thus reproducing their cursed race.

"RUN!" Momo finally managed to holler as he threw his arms up into the air and tore away from the massive group.

Thankfully, since the zombies had been into a stupor at that point, they were somewhat more discombobulated and slow to action than zombies usually are. So, because of this, everyone got the opportunity to leap outside the shack and make a run for it. (Shishido employed Marui with an umbrella from his utility belt so he would not perish in the rain.)

However, when they reached outside and began to run around frantically, they soon found that the zombies had not merely confined themselves to arising from the ground underneath the shack. There were zombies popping up all over the place so it was like a big and grand zombie obstacle course! Taka and Kirihara were thankful that they had horses because not only did they not have to run, but it was easier to trample the zombies.

They continued to flea from the park in extreme terror until they reached the streets. The zombies could not pop up out of the ground where there was pavement, but they could still follow anyone they desired to anyplace they desired. So our heroes continued to run until they mutually became so exhausted that it was time for them to fight. And let's be reasonable here; they had been running for a very long time for them to get exhausted when you think about how much these boys work out.

Of course, no zombie can claim to be a good fighter. However, what they lack in fighting ability, they make up with tenacity! Zombies feel no pain, so even when their limbs were blown off by Atobe's gun or when they were super punched by Choutarou or special moved on by Jackal or swash buckled by Momo or any other various fighting skillz that were presented before them, the zombies continued to fight.

"This is crazy!" Eiji finally announced since he wasn't doing anything.

"What do we do?" Ryoma asked since he wasn't doing anything either.

"Our only hope is to get into one of those buildings over there and barricade the doors!" Kamio announced, pointing dramatically at a strip mall that appeared almost entirely abandoned. Actually, it probably _was _abandoned. No one in their right mind would purchase a store in a zombie town.

Everyone took Kamio's advice and sprinted toward the buildings. It was a good thing zombies are slow moving or else they might have made it in time, especially since Ryoma kept falling over like a loser. But, they eventually reached their destination and hid out inside a place that looked like it used to be a hardware store but it was now obviously abandoned and in shambles. They used various boards and tools in order to construct a hefty barrier.

"That should hold them," Kaidou said.

"I don't know why that scared us so much," Atobe said. "We've seen much worse than zombies in our travels."

"I don't think we have," Oshitari said.

Atobe thought a moment. "You're right."

"The aliens were pretty scary," Kirihara pointed out.

"And Renji is a vampire," Shishido reminded them.

"And when we went to the future, they…_changed tennis_," said Momo dramatically. They all agreed that Momo had recalled the most horrible thing so they mutually decided to try to think of a solution to their zombie problem instead of thinking of various other horrible things.

"You know," said Inui. "It would be one thing if this world was simply a zombie world. But, as David reported earlier, it seems to be night time all year long."

"I just had a thought," David said, looking at his watch. "It might just be that it's midnight and not noon."

Bane slapped David across the face, even though David argued that it was a mistake anyone could make.

"That being said…" Inui said, sounding annoyed. "We're in Zombie Universe. Does anyone know how to defend oneself against zombies?"

"You just keep hacking them up until they can't follow you anymore," Shiraishi shrugged.

"I'm worried for whoever landed in this Universe," Saeki commented.

"Well, if we look at our record thus far," Inui started. "Then it would be logical to assume that the people who landed in this Universe did not end up as random bystanders as we did."

"So you basically mean that you think they are zombies, right?" Marui translated.

Inui was about to answer, but then his pocket beeped. He slowly removed the remote and glanced at the screen, then raised his eyes (or eye, considering he has a patch) to face the others.

"They're here," he said eerily.


	46. Zombies

Channel 146- Zombies

"Here?" Eiji repeated. "Here as in… they're here in this building?"

"They're close enough so the remote counted down the number," Inui said.

Everyone looked at each other and quickly searched the area for something to arm themselves with.

"Shishido, what is that?" said Choutarou, putting his hands on his hips as Shishido picked up a chainsaw.

"It's a chainsaw, Choutarou," he replied.

"A chainsaw?" Choutarou repeated, crossing his arms and looking disappointed.

"Yeah," said Shishido. "What's wrong with a chainsaw?"

"Well, it's somewhat destructive," Choutarou pointed out.

"That's true," said Shishido. "And that is why I picked it."

"But why would you want to brutally chainsaw someone who might potentially be our friend?" Choutarou asked.

"Because this potential friend might also potentially be a zombie," said Shishido. "And if he is a zombie, then he'll want to eat our brains, so therefore I want the best defense, and therefore I chose this chainsaw."

Choutarou considered Shishido's response. "Fair enough," he nodded, picking up his own chainsaw.

"Do you even really need a chainsaw?" Shiraishi said as he walked over.

"Maximum damage," Choutarou said.

"Don't you have super powers?" Shiraishi said, putting his hands on his hips.

"That's true, Choutarou," said Shishido. "You could just use your laser vision or super strength. I think you should let the people who don't have those kinds of abilities use the chainsaw."

"Yeah…" said Choutarou, looking somewhat disappointed as he relinquished the chainsaw to Shiraishi.

"Thank you," said Shiraishi.

"But do _you _really need the chainsaw?" Bane asked as he walked over as well. "I thought you had a utility belt with all kinds of effective gadgets for fighting."

"I do," said Shishido. "But I definitely don't have a chainsaw."

"How long are you all going to stand here talking?" said Inui. "There are zombies somewhere in this store and we have yet to make any attempt to find them." Then he noticed the copious chainsaws. "And why are you holding chainsaws?"

"It's the best defense," said Shishido, Choutarou, Bane and Shiraishi all at the same time.

"Oh," said Inui. "I see. But I don't think it's a keen idea to annihilate and maul our friends before we find out if they're actually interested in eating our brains."

"So what are you suggesting?" said Bane.

"Everyone put the chainsaws down, and let's just investigate for now," said Inui.

"Investigate?" said Kamio, looking appalled. "How exactly are we going to investigate?"

"Obviously we're going to send a small group deeper into the store to see if there are any zombies, which there are," said Inui.

"Obviously?" said Oshitari as he joined the conversation as well. "And why exactly are you completely optimistic with this little group you will be sending into the mysterious isles of this store?"

"Because I will not be part of that group," Inui answered.

"I figured," said Oshitari.

"You'll be part of the group," Inui added.

"I figured that as well," Oshitari said.

"Aren't you going to complain or argue per usual?" Inui questioned.

"There's no point," said Oshitari. "Because a series of events will just lead me to being part of the small group anyway."

"I'm part of that small group too, aren't I?" Choutarou asked.

"Yes," said Inui.

"Can I go too?" Shishido asked.

"I don't care," said Inui.

"So why do I have to go?" Oshitari said.

"I thought you said you weren't going to complain or argue," said Inui.

"Well now I am," said Oshitari.

"You're going because you're a detective, and therefore you can deduce things, and even though Atobe is basically the same as you, he will refuse and threaten to kick you off the regulars if you don't willingly go," said Inui. "Also, it just wouldn't seem right if you weren't there."

"Okay," said Oshitari.

"Who else is part of this group?" Itsuki asked. And he called it from the other side where everyone else was standing so the two groups wouldn't be segregated anymore.

"Aside from the people I've already mentioned, Jackal and Eiji," Inui said.

"What?" demanded Eiji. "_And Eiji_? Why am I part of this group?"

"To make sure everyone doesn't kill anything that moves," said Inui.

"Cannon fodder?" Fuji suggested.

"Peace maker," Inui insisted.

"And I assume I'm going along because I'm a fighter and Marui's health bar is almost depleted so he can't go," Jackal said.

"Obviously," said Inui condescendingly.

"Wait, couldn't Taka go as the peace maker because he can fight as well as make peace?" Eiji tried.

"Way to throw me under the bus, Eiji," said Taka.

"Sorry, it's just that I don't want to go," Eiji admitted.

"Eiji has a point, Taka," said Inui. "But, because he threw you under the bus, he still has to go."

"Why do you make all the rules?" Shiraishi said. "You're not even the captain of your tennis team."

"That's true," said Atobe. "I suggest we have a revolt."

"Guys, I don't know if it's the best idea to have a revolt while we're in a new Universe boarded in an abandoned building that may or may not have zombies in it," said Saeki.

"Good point, Saeki," said Oishi.

"Okay," said Atobe. "But we are so having a revolt later when we're in a less perilous situation."

"On that note, both Taka and Eiji can stay behind and we'll send Saeki with the group to investigate the zombies," Inui said.

"Why?" said Saeki, looking distressed.

"On account of the fact that you just kept the peace when both Taka and Eiji failed to do so," Inui answered.

"Aww…" said Taka and Eiji as they looked disappointed in themselves and bowed their heads in shame.

So, sans revolt, Oshitari, Shishido, Choutarou, Saeki and Jackal ventured off into the mysterious beyond.

"We should have totally given them one of these walkie talkies," said David.

"Nice job forgetting about them," said Bane.

"You forgot about them too," said David.

"So?" Bane said.

"You're jealous of my hair," David decided and he just received a punch for his insolence.

"Shouldn't we send someone to bring them a walkie talkie?" suggested Kirihara.

"If you're volunteering, go ahead," said Marui.

"No thank you," said Kirihara and, thus, no one did the right thing.

Meanwhile, with the group that was doing things much more interesting…

"Despite carrying this chainsaw, I still don't feel safe," Saeki whispered as they crept into the darkness as the lights flickered as they went deeper into the store. Clearly this is a very large store. It was also a mess and there were many shelves and items all over the floor, so there could be someone hiding behind each corner.

"Doesn't that chainsaw negate your entire purpose of keeping the peace?" Jackal questioned.

"Maybe," said Saeki. "But I feel better with something to defend myself."

"I still don't see why I have to be here," said Oshitari with a sigh.

"Why does it bother you so much?" Choutarou asked. "They send me to do more tasks than you."

"Yeah but you have super powers," said Oshitari. "There's no reason to send me."

"You volunteered to go," said Saeki to Shishido as if it were a crime.

"So?" said Shishido. "It's lame that I don't get to do things more often just because I _don't _have super powers."

"I've only been here for a little while and I'm already being used," said Jackal with a sigh.

"Get used to it," said Choutarou. "Before you know it, they'll be making you rob banks!"

"But probably not, because they'll probably be making _you _do it," said Saeki.

"Oh right," said Choutarou sadly.

"Everyone, be quiet," Oshitari ordered as he stopped dead in his tracks. Everyone else stopped as well and waited for him to say something. He didn't say anything, and instead waved for everyone to stay back as he took his gun and crept up to a shelf, peering around it suspiciously.

"What is it?" whispered Shishido as he leaned over too.

Eventually, they were all peeking their heads around the corner so they looked like a totem pole. So…Choutarou on the tippy top, then Jackal, then Oshitari, then Saeki and then Shishido on the way bottom? I think so.

When they finally got their peek around the corner, they found themselves quite surprised to see an empty table with a dim light hanging over it. Oshitari motioned for them to slowly advance, and they all sneaked over to the table to discover a set of playing cards that looked like they had been hastily thrown down.

"Hm…" said Oshitari thoughtfully as he picked up one of the hands and then looked ultra surprised.

"What is it?" said everyone else excitedly.

"A full house," Oshitari said, showing everyone else the hand.

They frowned at him.

"Is there any indication of what happened here?" Saeki asked.

"Yes—" Oshitari said and just when he was about to go into a long explanation, he suddenly raised his gun and seemed to point it right at Saeki, shooting it three times so the bullets sailed right over his shoulder. Saeki jumped frantically and then spun around while starting up the chainsaw, swinging it wildly in the direction of where Oshitari had shot the gun.

"Oh geez."

There was the sound of flesh tearing, and then an arm landing on the ground. Saeki gasped dramatically when he realized there was a zombie standing behind him, and he had just successfully chainsawed the zombie's arm off.

"Zombies!" Shishido exclaimed as he discarded the chainsaw and whipped out a spear. He used the spear to impale the zombie.

"Wait, wait!" the zombie said, frantically waving its remaining arm and the stump of whatever was left of its deteriorated and chopped off arm. (And the chopped off arm twitched and wiggled as if it were waving.)

"Kill it!" Choutarou exclaimed as he wound up and super punched the zombie so it flew across the room into a pile of boxes. The boxes all toppled down on top of it.

"Wait a second!" Jackal said, getting in front of the other four as they advanced towards the zombie to sufficiently kill it.

"Why?" said Oshitari, cocking his gun.

"The zombie talked," said Jackal. "Didn't you hear it?"

"Yeah, but we disregarded it," said Shishido as he took another spear out of his utility belt, ready to kill some more.

The boxes shuffled a little bit as they heard the sound of the zombie trying to stand up, but of course finding it difficult because of his lack of arm. Instead of blindly assaulting it like they had, they waited for it to stand and reveal itself.

"I _thought _you looked familiar!" said Jackal.

"Yeah, way to notice it _after _they cut my arm off," said the zombie.

Everyone else looked at each other confusedly as Jackal walked over as if it were totally normal that the zombie was chitchatting with them.

"Who is this?" Saeki said finally.

"Yagyuu," said the zombie as he reached out the hand that was still attached in order to shake with the others. They decided not to shake.

"You're a zombie," Shishido observed.

"And this is yours," said Yagyuu as he took the spear out of his stomach and handed it to Shishido.

"You can keep it," said Shishido, taking a step back.

"Is there anyone else here?" Jackal asked. "I mean, the card game back there is set up for two."

"Yeah, Niou's around here somewhere," said Yagyuu. "We heard some people talking so we separated to find them. Then I came back because I heard you guys coming but Niou stayed behind. We were glad because there were non-zombies and we were hungry."

They stared at him.

"I mean we were really missing having conversations with people who weren't dead," Yagyuu said, but the damage was already done.

"Whoa," said Choutarou. "It's like having Renji here all over again."

"Renji's a vampire," Jackal said.

"What?" said Yagyuu.

"Never mind," said Jackal. "Where's Niou? We'll explain it to both of you."

"Hopefully he's still in the same spot as when I last saw him," said Yagyuu.

He went over to his arm that was lying on the ground and picked it up.

"Let's go," he said casually.


	47. Hell Demons

Channel 147- Hell Demons

"And that's when he sliced my arm off with a chainsaw," said Yagyuu as he stood in front of the whole group and explained the story of what had just occurred. Everyone was pretty stand-offish because of his decaying flesh and the fact that he was holding his own arm. Niou had yet to be located, which worried them even more.

Inui looked particularly contemplative.

"What are you thinking about?" Kaidou asked because he happened to notice how focused Inui looked.

"Hm," said Inui, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Note to self; when sending someone to keep the peace, do not send Saeki."

"Hey!" said Saeki. "Oshitari started shooting things in the vicinity of my head and it was self defense!"

"You wish, Saeki," said everyone.

"Why is it okay that Oshitari shot him several times, Shishido impaled him with a spear and Ootori super punched him, but the fact that I chainsawed off his arm is unacceptable?" Saeki demanded.

"Because you were supposed to keep the peace," said Inui.

"DUH," said everyone else.

"It's all right, guys," said Yagyuu. "It totally doesn't hurt."

"Oh good," said Saeki, looking relieved.

"If it hurt, don't you think I would have more of a reaction than the one I'm having?" said Yagyuu.

"I figured maybe you were just like that," said Saeki.

"I'm so glad there's more Rikkai Dai here," said Kirihara. "Even if they are zombies."

"Speaking of which, where is Niou?" questioned Marui.

"I don't know," said Yagyuu, shrugging his shoulders, which made him look down at the stub where his arm used to be. "That is such a bummer."

"Once we switch Universes, it'll come back," Taka said reassuringly.

"Oh will it?" said Yagyuu. "That's a relief."

"Hey," came the voice of Niou as he came strolling out from behind a shelf. He, like Yagyuu, was pretty obviously a gross, dirty zombie whose flesh was rotting and deteriorating off of his bones. Needless to say, he was a very attractive sight.

"Oh, hi Niou," said Jackal. "You're looking not so great."

"I know," said Niou with a glare, which caused his eye to pop out. However, he obviously had this problem a lot so he just caught it and put it back in as if it were totally normal.

"That's gross," said Bane finally because no one else was saying anything in response to the casual action.

"So I happened to overhear some of the conversation," said Niou and then he pointed at Yagyuu. "I'm glad _your _arm got cut off and not mine!"

"At least I still have all of my toes," said Yagyuu, sounding bitter.

"Aww…" said Niou, looking sad.

"All right, all right," said Shiraishi. "Stop being disgusting just for the sake of grossing us out."

"Why were you hiding behind that shelf, anyway?" asked Kirihara to Niou.

"Well, I was pretty focused on attacking all of you and having me some yummy brains," Niou started. "But there were way too many of you, so I was waiting for one of you to separate from the group so I could isolate you and devour your insides."

"No, seriously," said Kirihara.

"I am being serious," said Niou.

They all stared at him.

"No, really," said Kirihara. "Seriously."

"Seriously," said Niou.

"But now that we know it's you guys, we will resist our impulses to eat your brains," said Yagyuu. "No big deal."

"How is that not a big deal?" said Momo. "You want to eat our brains!"

"But we won't," said Niou. "I don't see what the issue is."

"You know, we had Renji in our group for a little while," said Atobe. "And, for the most part, he resisted his temptations to suck our blood. However, there were several times he failed to do so."

"Yeah well, we won't do that," said Yagyuu simply.

"You two smell rancid," said Fuji randomly.

"At least we still have our manhood," they said simultaneously.

"Well I smell like roses," said Fuji.

"Well we have our manhood," Yagyuu and Niou repeated.

Fuji glared at them, but they weren't worried because they were already dead and didn't feel pain so it's not like Fuji could have done anything to them. Of course, they didn't consider what would happen once they returned to their original Universe!

"Say, why _are _you a girl anyway?" said Yagyuu.

"And, while we're on the subject, why are we zombies?" Niou said. "I figured we died, but then I noticed everyone sort of has weird attributes."

"Well," said Inui.

And then he explained everything.

"Aha!" said Yagyuu and Niou, pointing their fingers up in the air. Yagyuu was holding the arm that was pointing a finger in the air.

"What a perfectly reasonable thing to ever happen," said Niou sarcastically. "Thanks a lot. I just wish I could have experienced a few weeks as the undead sooner!"

"Now, now, there's no reason to get snide," said Inui. "We just have to calmly work through this. We are already more than halfway finished so we just have to keep pushing through at our determined pace."

"Have we gotten a mission yet?" Ryoma questioned Inui.

"Oh yes," said Inui, looking down at the remote. "It says here that we must undo the curse that is plaguing this town and making the zombies rise from the dead."

"Curse?" said Shishido. "What curse? Since when is there a curse?"

"Since always," said Niou. "Well, at least since someone opened up that gateway to hell."

"Gateway to hell?" whined everyone.

"Yeah, and all the hell demons came through, turned the citizens of the town into zombies and raised the dead," Yagyuu added.

"Hell demons?" said everyone despairingly.

"You didn't think that it was _only _zombies, did you?" said Niou as if the notion was silly and they were equally silly for assuming that zombies were the only problem in the town.

"Whatever," said Kaidou. "Obviously we have to close this gateway to hell. How do we do that?"

"You can't," said Yagyuu.

"And why not?" said Eiji.

"Because there's a special jewel," said Yagyuu. "And it got sucked into the gateway when it first opened."

"So the only way to close the gateway is to go through the gateway and get the jewel, then bring it back and then close the gateway," Marui reasoned.

"Yes, basically," said Niou. "But it's impossible. No one can survive the hell dimension that is through the gateway."

"I bet Ootori could," said Fuji.

"Oh yeah, I bet he could," everyone else agreed.

"Guys, why is it always me who has to rob the banks or go into hell dimensions?" Choutarou said, sounding a little whiny.

"Because you're the one with all the super powers," said Inui with a raised eyebrow.

"I guess so," sighed Choutarou.

"Choutarou, if you don't want to, I bet we could figure out a different way to get the book," said Shishido supportively.

"But why bother thinking up another way when this way works just fine?" Shiraishi interrupted.

"We don't _know _Choutarou will be invincible in the hell dimension," said Shishido. "You're just assuming that because he happens to have the power of invulnerability. And force fields. And various other powers that might help in the situation of being in a hell dimension."

"Hey Shishido, I noticed you haven't been kidnapped in a while," said Oshitari completely randomly. And I mean _completely_. That literally came out of nowhere.

"That came out of nowhere," said Shishido.

"Well, it's just that I'm proud of you, that's all," said Oshitari, patting Shishido on the shoulder. Everyone else agreed and commended Shishido for not getting kidnapped.

"_Anyway_," Shishido said, getting tired of people ruffling his hair but, at the same time, he was pretty proud of himself.

"At the moment, I don't see any other option," said Inui.

"Hey, I bet I'd be able to survive in the hell dimension for a little while," said Jackal. "I'll probably get a timer right above my health bar telling me just how long I have."

"There's no point," said Inui. "There's also no issue. Ootori will fly into the hell dimension and then fly out of the hell dimension with the jewel and then we will close the hell dimension, thus completing the mission so we'll be able to travel to the next Universe. Understand?"

"Geez, Inui, fine," said Marui. "Jackal was only making a suggestion."

"It's okay," said Jackal, trying to be strong.

"Anyway," said Inui, ignoring them. "Niou and Yagyuu? Where is this hell dimension?"

"It's across town," Yagyuu replied. "Probably about a ten minute run."

"Run?" repeated Kamio.

"Well, because there are zombies who will be trying to eat your brains so I figured you'd want to be running," said Yagyuu. "But if you're just going to walk, then that's your life choice and I won't judge you for it."

"Fair enough," said Kamio.

"Could we teleport?" Atobe asked.

"I call not holding hands with the zombies," Momo said, raising his hand.

"No, we can't teleport," said Choutarou.

"And what's wrong with zombies?" said Niou, sounding more offended than he probably should have.

"Aside from the obvious?" said Momo.

"We don't _all _have to go to the location of the hell dimension," Bane said, sounding a little nervous.

"I could just go alone," said Choutarou but he sounded like he was trying to guilt trip them into volunteering to come along but his plan backfired because they all allowed him to be chivalrous.

"And if you encounter any hell demons, just super punch them," said Niou.

Yagyuu was drawing a picture of the jewel. And yes, he was using the arm that had been chopped off so he didn't even have to pay attention to what he was doing since the arm was able to move on its own. Needless to say, everyone was pretty irked by this.

"All right, I guess I'll be back in a little while," said Choutarou as he took the paper and rustled it a little bit to shake of the deteriorated flesh and fingernails that had fallen onto it while Yagyuu's arm had been drawing.

"Good luck, Choutarou!" said Shishido.

"Take one of these to tell us if you sizzle up and die while in the hell dimension," said David as he handed Choutarou a walkie talkie.

"If he sizzled up and died while in a hell dimension, he wouldn't be able to tell us that he sizzled up and died in a hell dimension!" said Bane as he punched David.

"I'll take it anyway," said Choutarou. "Bye everyone!"

With that, Choutarou flew up into the air and crashed through the ceiling, disappearing into the sky.

"Oh, he's a super hero," said Niou.

"Yeah, that's why we sent him," said Inui.

"I thought you were just bullying him into being the one who sacrificed himself by going into the hell dimension," said Niou.

"That's just unkind," said Saeki.

"But it is kind of what we did anyway," said Shishido.

"Whatever, Shishido," said everyone else.

"Um…guys?" said Oishi. "I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but I think there's a problem."

He pointed up at the ceiling where Choutarou had crashed through to reveal there was a giant winged hell demon circling above them. In fact, there were several winged hell demons doing so. And, now that they were looking hard, they happened to notice other kinds of hell demons and zombies poking through the hole like they were ready to jump down upon their pray.

"I think…we should probably leave…" said Shiraishi slowly.

"Is there a backdoor to this place?" Inui said to Niou and Yagyuu.

"Yeah," said Yagyuu. "It's in the back."

Inui raised an eyebrow in response, but they all cautiously followed Niou and Yagyuu at slow zombie pace on their way deeper into the store to escape the other hell demons and zombies.


	48. Resolution

Channel 148- Resolution

They reached the huge door in the back of the store only to find that it was bolted shut.

"Why didn't you tell us it was bolted shut?" said Atobe, sounding irritated.

"We didn't know it would be bolted shut," said Yagyuu.

"We never use this door," said Niou. "We don't _have _to."

"How can we open this?" said Ryoma to Inui.

"Jackal, use your special move to knock it down," Inui ordered as he heard the distant moan of zombies.

"My special move bar isn't filled up," said Jackal.

"How does it fill up?" Kaidou asked.

"It steadily increases as I hurt other people," Jackal replied.

"Fair enough," said Inui. "Any volunteers for a good beating?"

"Like anyone would volunteer for that," said Momo.

"It's for the good of the team," said Inui.

"Then why don't _you _volunteer?" Atobe suggested.

"Why don't you?" Inui retorted.

"Is there any other way to open this door aside from beating each other?" Eiji tried. "I mean, I think we should wait until we've exhausted all our options before we start dealing out blows."

"I don't think we have time to exhaust all our options," Taka commented as he leaned over and caught his first glimpse of zombies rounding the corner in hot pursuit!

"How about my dynamite?" said Kirihara, whipping out his sticks of dynamite.

"No, because that has enough power to blow up an entire school, so therefore it is far too powerful to use on a door," said Inui, calmly confiscating the explosives from Kirihara.

"Hey," said Kirihara, swiping them back.

"Guys?" said Oishi, pointing at the zombies that were now in plain view. "Many zombies? Right there? Approaching us?"

"Our only chance is to fight them!" announced Shishido definitively.

"I predict our attempt as unsuccessful," Inui reported as he reached for his sword anyway. Yes, Inui has a sword. He just never uses it. After all, why should he when he has everyone else to send off into small secluded groups? But, now that he was faced with hundreds of zombies and other hell demons, he just wanted to be _extra _safe.

"I seem to almost have forgotten about my butter knife!" Eiji declared, whipping out said object.

"I don't have a weapon!" Saeki exclaimed frantically. "Someone give me a weapon!"

"We need these weapons to defend ourselves!" said Shishido as he took a spear and a sledgehammer and held them up in defense.

"Give me one of those!" said Saeki.

"Yeah, pass around your infinite weapons in your utility belt!" commanded Kamio.

"I need all of them!" said Shishido selfishly.

Just as everyone was about to jump him and steal his weapons, a winged hell demon swooped down from above and grabbed Shishido by the shoulders with its massive talons and lifted him off the ground. Luckily, Shishido dropped his weapons and everyone scrambled for them before concerning themselves with the fact that Shishido was just kidnapped by a hell demon.

"We should have knocked on wood," Oshitari remarked.

"Someone kill the zombies!" Oishi whined as he fruitlessly swung his tennis racket at a zombie, knocking its head right off its neck.

"What about Shishido?" Yagyuu said as he pointed up at the hell demon that was just circling them while holding onto Shishido who was flailing and yelling at the others to rescue him. (Yes, he was pointing with the arm that had been chopped off by Saeki so that means he was holding that arm with the other arm that was still attached.)

"Every man for himself," said Shiraishi since he happened to be the one to pick up Shishido's sledgehammer. He hit a zombie and sent it flying across the room.

"Hey, let's try these things," said David to Bane. He was holding what looked like mini flying saucers.

"What are they?" Inui asked since he was eavesdropping.

"Small explosives designed to explode doors off their hinges," David shrugged as if that wasn't exactly what they needed.

"Why didn't you tell us you had those?" said Inui. "Never mind. Do you know how to use them?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?" said David with a laugh.

Bane punched David.

"That definitely wasn't a pun," said David after recovering.

"I know," said Bane. "I was punching you for not speaking up about the explosives a while ago."

So, as David applied them to the correct spots on the door, everyone fended off the zombies. Finally, when he was done, they all dove to the side on the count of three as the door was blown off its hinges and sent flying into the air. It happened to hit the hell demon that was carrying Shishido around like a loser and so it dropped him, sending him plummeting to his doom.

Most people only pointed at him and made concerned moans instead of doing anything as he fell. Finally, Shiraishi took it upon himself to act and mustered up his limited remaining magic, conjuring a large pillow on the ground right where Shishido was landing. Shishido had a soft cushy landing and was very thankful for Shiraishi's quick thinking.

"I am very thankful for your quick thinking," said Shishido.

"I am such a quick thinker," said Shiraishi.

"Everyone, let's get out of here!" Marui said, pointing at the hole in the wall.

"Yeah, before they realize what's going on," Fuji added, gesturing towards the zombies who were surprised and taken aback by the explosion. Well, as surprised and taken aback as zombies can be, anyway.

With that, everyone ran through the exploded doorway and sprinted away from the building. Of course, they didn't stop to think what was going to happen to Choutarou when he returned and found that the building he was supposed to find all his friends in was now infested with hell demons. One would assume he would be as disoriented as Grumpy Bear with his diaper on his head and his bottle in backwards.

No one was really thinking about that and was instead concerned with getting as far away from the zombies as they could, which is totally understandable and I don't think anyone can look down upon them for that life choice, but still.

"Guys, wait!" said Shishido as he stopped running. "What about Choutarou?"

"What about him?" said Ryoma. "I'm sure he's fine."

"Yeah, we only sent him off alone into a hell dimension and now we're running away from the spot we told him we'd meet him," said Shishido, putting his hands on his hips.

"I hope you get kidnapped again," said Kirihara simply.

"Hey!" said Shishido. "Really, guys! I think at least one of us should stay behind and tell him where we're going!"

"We don't even know where we're going," Kaidou pointed out. "We're just going _away _from the zombies, but you're keeping us from accomplishing that task!"

"We have to all stay together or else we can't change Universes," Taka pointed out.

"Why don't we run blindly in the general direction of the hell dimension area where Ootori went?" Niou suggested as he and Yagyuu lurched their way up to where everyone was standing idly by.

"Good idea," said Inui. Then he turned to Shishido. "Will that make you happy?"

Shishido crossed his arms. "Not really."

"Slightly more content than you are now?"

Shishido nodded.

With that, they all threw their arms up into the air and started running in the direction Yagyuu was gesturing with his dismembered arm. He sure likes reminding everyone as often as possible that one of his arms got chopped off.

As they were running, Choutarou suddenly appeared in front of them.

"Hey, I was just looking for you guys!" said Choutarou. "I went to that place where you said you would be but you weren't there so I ran around for a while, hoping I would bump into you, and I did!"

"You've already done all that?" said Itsuki.

"My super speed is increased ten fold on Thursdays!" said Choutarou.

"Aha," said everyone.

"So, I take it by the fact that you're not a pile of dust that you got the jewel," said Inui.

"Yup," said Choutarou, holding up the jewel which was all glowy and purple and had green stars glittering around it.

"Well that's the most ugly and uncolor coordinated thing I've ever seen," Oishi remarked. They all looked at him. "What? It _is_!"

"How do we undo the curse?" Marui asked Yagyuu and Niou. They both shrugged.

"We don't know everything," said Yagyuu.

"You certainly appeared to earlier," said Atobe with a glare.

"Maybe if you wave it around a little bit something will happen?" Niou tried.

Choutarou did just that and, just when everyone was going to Niou what a bad suggestion that was, the jewel suddenly exploded with light that was just as ugly as the jewel itself was. It engulfed all of them and shot up into the air. Everyone ooed and ahhed as it decorated the air like fireworks!

Then, when all the light cleared and they looked down again, Yagyuu and Niou exclaimed with joy because they found they were back to normal. A cheer rose from the distance, informing everyone that the townspeople had all been turned back to normal as well.

"It feels so good to not be decomposing again!" said Niou.

"Ew," said everyone.

"Hey, we completed the mission," said Inui.

And that's when the white light appeared and Inui pressed the button without even bothering to see their handiwork or receiving a thanks from the townsfolk for saving them.

When they reappeared, they recognized that place immediately as the OMG Universe. However, it looked somewhat different because there was no more graffiti or litter. The entire area was beautiful and clean.

"Well, this place certainly looks better," commented Taka.

"Aw man," said Niou.

Everyone looked at Niou and Yagyuu to see they were zombies again.

"WTF?" said everyone, and Saeki was happy they were all pointing at someone else and saying WTF.

After complaining for a few minutes, Inui made a comment about not feeling like listening to them anymore and mentioned something about needing to find Ryou and Atsushi. The rest agreed and didn't want to listen to Yagyuu and Niou complain anyway, so they decided to go off and find the twins so they could get out of there as soon as possible!


	49. Mono

Channel 149- Mono

"Wait, so you're telling me that for the past three weeks, all of you have just been sitting around doing nothing?" Atobe said as he raised his eyebrow. The two gangs, Atsushi's gang and Ryou's gang, were all doing just what Atobe had said. Sitting around. Well, at least they weren't fighting and murdering each other.

"We all had mono!" said Atsushi.

"You _all _contracted mono at the exact same time?" said Kaidou skeptically.

"What do you expect from us?" Ryou said as he tried to play the sympathy card.

"It's no excuse to sit around and not practice your singing and dancing and choreography," said Eiji.

"There are very few things one can do with mono!" said Atsushi. "Why, I'll be that if someone told me I should write a story and submit chapters on a regular basis, then I hardly think I would be able to keep any schedule whatsoever, since it is difficult to sit up, look at a computer screen and stay awake!"

"So how do you expect us to sing and dance if we're all not well enough to do something as seemingly simple as that?" said Ryou.

There was a slight pause.

"Isn't Mono the kissing disease?" Shiraishi said.

"Uh…" said both gangs as they all looked at each other awkwardly.

"Never mind about all this," said Inui. "We should all focus on the strangeness of our mission. It is telling us to defeat Echizen Aroma."

"My long lost twin sister who lives in America and is much better at tennis than everyone else so she has to join the boys' tennis team?" Ryoma said.

"The very same," said Inui.

"You don't have one of those," said Momo. "She's a Mary-Sue."

"How are we supposed to defeat her if she's in a different Universe and we've already killed her?" said Saeki.

"Well, we've seen this sort of thing before," said Oishi. "With the previous original character who resided in Ryoma's Universe."

"Yeah…" said Momo thoughtfully. "There was some kind of ancient ceremony that brought her back to life and she somehow became a ninja and acquired magic powers when we went to the Ninja Universe."

"Apparently she had the power to transcend different Universes according to her will," Oshitari added.

"Yo!" said Benvolio, one of the members of one of the gangs. He stood up and struck a gangster pose. "This is wak!"

"Yeah, what are you guys talking about anyway?" said A-Rab.

"Original characters," Ryou and Atsushi replied in sync. It was like Twin Sense.

"Oh," said all the gang members.

"Before we go any further, may I make an inquiration?" said Ryou, standing up.

"Of course you may," said Inui. "But inquiration is not a word. I'm sure the word you were looking for was 'inquiry.'"

Ryou only stared at Inui. Everyone else stared at him too.

"Anyway," Inui led, feeling slightly awkward. He sort of wished Renji was there to share his love for being smarter than everyone else around him.

"WTF?" said Ryou as he pointed in the general direction of all the "new" people. And, as it would happen, Saeki happened to be standing in front of the group so he thought Ryou was pointing only at him, so he had a slight mental break down before Ryou assured him that he was inquiring about everyone and Saeki's presence was just as curious as to the others'.

"I so do not feel like explaining this again," said Inui.

"Can I try explaining it?" Choutarou asked.

"By all means," Inui offered.

"Okay," said Choutarou, looking at Ryou and Atsushi. "It's just like last time, except there are more people this time."

"Oh, okay," said Ryou and Atsushi with knowing nods.

"That wasn't so hard," said Shishido to Inui.

"If you explain it like _that _then of course it's not hard…" said Inui, looking offended.

"I'm kind of sad that we missed Zombie Universe," said Atsushi, pointing at Yagyuu and Niou.

"You got a problem, foo?" said Niou, getting all in Atsushi's face. But Atsushi quickly backed away because he didn't want a zombie in his face, especially since Niou's eye kept popping out.

"Let's just get past all this and—" started Inui but then he found himself interrupted.

"THIS IS WAK," interrupted all the gang members.

At this point, the random gang members were getting kind of annoying so the others made a telepathic decision to just walk away and ignore them.

"Okay, so our mission is to defeat a Mary Sue that may or may not have acquired ninja powers that would have led her to this Universe," Oishi reasoned.

"That sounds about right," said Kirihara thoughtfully. "But she _has _to be here because the mission is telling us to defeat her!"

"So where could she be?" said Taka, directing his question toward Ryou and Atsushi.

"How are we supposed to know?" said Ryou and Atsushi with another Twin Sense moment. See, with everyone else, it's SYNCHRO!! But with them, it's just Twin Sense. Poor them.

"Well, you know for sure she's not in your territories," said Inui. "Which covers the East and West portions of this place."

"Which only leaves the South…" said Atsushi. "But we're sure she isn't there. Before we all got mono, we cleaned up that place so we could work on our choreography and express our artistic creativity through controlled graffiti."

"So I don't know where she could possibly be," Ryou finished with an exasperated sigh.

"What about North?" asked Bane.

"North?" said Ryou.

"Yeah," said Bane. "North."

"There is no _North_," said Ryou with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you sure?" Itsuki asked.

"Of course we're sure!" snapped Atsushi.

"Well, if she's not in the East, not in the West, and not in the South, then that only leaves the North for her to be in," said Eiji in a very intelligent sort of way.

"But we've already told you," said Ryou. "There is no North."

"How can there be no North?" demanded Kaidou, sounding somewhat irritated.

"I know what to do!" said Momo, pointing his finger in the air as a light bulb illuminated above his head. Then he whipped a compass out of his pocket and oriented himself. "This way!" he said, pointing.

Everyone shrugged and decided to follow even though the twins were so very adamant about the fact that there was no North.

They finally reached a large wooden fence that stretched high to the sky and were unable to proceed any further.

"See?" said Atsushi. "There is no North."

"Just because there's a fence in the way doesn't mean there's nothing beyond it," said Marui. Then he looked above his head to see that his special move bar was filled up to the top. "Hey guys, let me handle this!"

They all stepped back, and then Marui ran forward and performed his super ultra special move, upper cutting that bitch of a fence and then igniting it into smoldering blue flames. Everyone applauded as Marui landed and looked proud of himself.

They waited for the blue flames to disappear, so they could see beyond the remains.

"I told you there was no North," said Ryou quietly.

They were faced with something right out of the Twilight Zone; it was like a big chunk of outer space hovering just on the other side of the fence that once stood. After standing in awe for a few moments, Fuji grabbed Kirihara by the shoulder and shoved him into the void.

Kirihara yelled out of fear of his imminent death, but he instead just stumbled into the void as if there was a solid ground under him.

"Well, would you look at that," said Fuji.

"How dare you use me as a guinea pig!" said Kirihara.

"More like a sacrifice," Fuji shrugged.

So now that they knew they wouldn't plunge to their dooms, they all ventured out into the void, walking along the space as if there was a ground.

"This is weird," said Ryou. "I don't know if this is someplace we're supposed to be."

"If there was a supernatural Mary-Sue in this Universe, this is where she's going to be," Atobe pointed out.

"What's that?" said Kamio, pointing at something in the far distance.

"I got it, guys," said Momo as he took out his telescope.

"Let's just walk towards it," said Jackal.

"Don't judge me," said Momo.

They walked towards the mysterious object in the distance that turned out to be an egg. But it wasn't like a chicken egg or anything, it was this massive egg that was waist height and had polka dots all over it.

"Weird," Yagyuu remarked simply.

Then the egg started to shiver and twitch, so they backed off. After a few moments, it cracked and a hand shot out of the hole.

"It's here!" Ryoma said.

"She's for some reason hatching out of an egg in the void of the North section of the OMG Universe so let's destroy it before she hatches and becomes impossible to defeat!" said David.

With that, everyone took out their weapons and death moves and proceeded to attack the egg. Let's review: Inui has a gun, Momo has a sword, Taka has a sword, Eiji has a butter knife, Saeki and Itsuki could probably find something in their medical bags to hit it with, Oshitari and Atobe have their guns, Kirihara has his dynamite, Shishido has his endless arsenal, Choutarou has every super power ever, Bane and David probably have guns or something, Fuji and Oishi had tennis rackets to beat it with, Shiraishi might have mustered up some magic, Ryoma stumbled around lamely, Marui and Jackal used their special moves, Kaidou and Kamio could kick it around or something, Ryou and Atsushi have gang weapons while Niou and Yagyuu sort of just got in the way because they were lurching around and being zombies.

So basically everyone contributed to murdering Echizen Aroma with the exception of Niou and Yagyuu. And Ryoma.

"Whew," said Shishido, once it was over with. "What a work out!"

"Well, I'm glad we got to her before she hatched," said Ryou.

"Yeah, or else all hell would have broken loose," Atsushi agreed.

"So how's that mono of yours?" Kaidou questioned.

"It's rough," the twins replied.

"Here we go," Inui said as he pressed a button that made them change Universes.

It was pretty abrupt so most everyone was surprised when they landed in a dark and scary forest. Then they remarked on how quickly they had vanquished the OMG Universe, and then they questioned the dark and scary forest.

"Is this the Ninja the Universe?" Momo asked.

"Why does everyone always assume we're in the Ninja Universe?" said Inui. "We are either in a new Universe or we're back in that Wizard or Harry Potter Universe that had Shinji from Fudomine and someone whom I forget."

"Hiyoshi?" Oshitari suggested.

"Yes, sure," said Inui.

"Well, let's take a look around I guess," said Shiraishi.


	50. The Sorting

Channel 150- The Sorting

"I'm sorry, but if you're going to be staying at Hogwarts again then the rest of you will have to be sorted as well," said Dumbledore with a sigh as everyone stood in front of them and gave heavy and exasperated sighs.

"Does everyone remember where they were before?" Hiyoshi asked. "Me and Shinji are in Hufflepuff."

"Yeah, so am I," said Eiji, looking depressed because Oishi wasn't in the same house as him.

So the people who had already been sorted split up to make it easier for those who had to be sorted. Momo, Taka, Oishi and Ryoma were all in Gryffindor. Eiji, Choutarou, Kamio, Hiyoshi and Shinji were in Hufflepuff. Atobe, Kirihara, Shishido, Fuji and Kaidou were in Slytherin. Finally, Ryou, Atsushi, Oshitari and Inui were in Ravenclaw.

"Who will go first?" Dumbledore asked, holding the hat.

"We'll just go in order again," Inui said, gesturing for Saeki and Itsuki to take the initiative and volunteer themselves.

Saeki decided to go first and he sat down on the stool. Dumbledore put the sorting hat on his head and after somewhat of a pause, the hat screamed, "RAVENCLAW!"

Saeki jumped about a million miles (give or take) in the air and nearly stumbled off the stool.

"Oh yeah, the hat screams stuff," said Momo.

"Someone could have warned me!" Saeki exclaimed.

"I thought it was obvious, said Dumbledore.

"No, not particularly," Saeki said.

"Regardless, you are now in Ravenclaw," said Dumbledore.

"It's the best house," said Oshitari since he was also in Ravenclaw.

"No way," Atobe said, crossing his arms. "Slytherin is the best."

"All the houses are equal in wonderfulness," said Dumbledore.

But everyone just said whatever to him as Itsuki sat down at the stool. He was prepared for the hat to shout something, but it took a little while for the hat to come to a conclusion before it shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"

"You know, it's not really necessary to scream since this is a small room and we're all standing pretty close," said Shishido.

"It is the Sorting Hat's way," said Dumbledore. "Who is next?"

"Bane," Inui ordered.

"Fine," said Bane as he sat down. "I just hope I don't get Hufflepuff. That one has a stupid name."

"OH YEAH?" shouted the hat. "Very well then, HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Hey!" said Bane. "I don't want to be in the worst house!"

"Hufflepuff isn't that bad!" said Kamio, putting his hands on his hips.

"Hufflepuff isn't bad at all," Shinji corrected him.

David was the next to be sorted. "GRYFFINDOR!" said the hat.

"I'm glad I'm not in Hufflepuff too just because I don't want to be punched," said David, taking a look at the other people who were in Gryffindor.

"I'll come over and visit," said Bane as if that sort of thing should be exciting for David.

Next up in line was Shiraishi.

"Someone has been put into every house so far except Slytherin," said Kirihara. "Which only goes to show how exclusive and awesome it is."

"Oh yeah," said the rest of the Slytherin members as they high fived.

Everyone kind of wanted Shiraishi to be put in Slytherin just because they wanted the others to have to take their heinous comments back, but unfortunately the hat ended up saying, "RAVENCLAW!"

"Well, maybe it's just that Ravenclaw is the best so they like to pile all the best people in it!" said Ryou.

"It's true," said Inui thoughtfully. "Shiraishi _did _beat Fuji in tennis."

Fuji squinted his eye at Inui who quickly looked away, and was thankful for his glasses because those things filter that kind of shit.

Marui was next in line. He moved his health bar and special move bar to the side so the hat could fit on his head. "GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat.

"I fail to see the significance of the houses anyway!" said Marui. Everyone still wanted to break the Slytherin seal.

It was Jackal's turn next so he pushed his health and special move bars to the side as well and donned the hat. The hat waited a long time because Jackal doesn't really have a personality (maybe even less so than Hiyoshi) and then the hat finally said, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"It's too bad that Rikkai Dai is all split up like this," said Jackal but, again, he just wanted to be the one to get into Slytherin first.

The only ones that remained were Niou and Yagyuu and just as they were discussing who would go first, Dumbledore put his hand up. "Sorry," he said. "I think I must draw the line at admitting the undead into Hogwarts."

"Well, we're not really zombies," said Yagyuu, holding Niou back before he could smack a bitch.

"Do you eat brains of the living?" Dumbledore asked.

Yagyuu and Niou looked at each other. "No," said Niou unconvincingly.

When Dumbledore gave them a look, Yagyuu said, "Well, admittedly, sometimes."

"Then you're real zombies and therefore you can't be in Hogwarts," said Dumbledore.

"Hey, show me the rule in the Hogwarts book that says zombies can't go to the school!" Kirihara demanded, coming to the defense of his fellow Rikkai Dai members.

"Well…there is no rule…" Dumbledore said.

"Besides, we're only going to be here for a day at the most," Inui said. "Our mission is only to win another game of Quiddich."

Dumbledore looked a little disgruntled, but he finally caved. "Very well," he said. "But you must wear cloaks at all time! If the students found out that you were zombies, they might want to go home."

No one wanted to tell Dumbledore that it was unlikely anyone would want to leave if they found out zombies were on campus. After all, everyone stayed in school when there was a giant man eating snake slithering about in the pipes, and everyone stayed in school when various other horrible and unnatural things were occurring during the year.

So Dumbledore reluctantly started to put the Sorting Hat on Niou's head, but before the hat touched him, it shouted, "SLYTHERIN!"

"Lame!" said Shishido.

"And the other one, Slytherin too," said the hat.

"You don't even have to check?" said Yagyuu.

"I just don't want to touch you guys," said the hat.

"I take offense to that," said Yagyuu.

"Well, anyway," said Dumbledore. "You may all go to your houses. And I would just like to say again that we are very thankful you eradicated the Dark Lord during your last visit and that is the only reason why I can forgive the murder of Professor Snape and half of the Gryffindor Quiddich Team including my favorite, Harry Potter."

"I'm very sorry about that," said Choutarou, bowing his head in shame.

"I'm not sorry," said Atobe since he had been the one to dispose of Professor Snape.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and then dismissed them to head to their common rooms until the next Hufflepuff Quiddich game.

"Are you still going to play as the Seeker for Hufflepuff, Ootori?" Hiyoshi asked.

"Well sure," said Choutarou. "If it will help us get to the next Universe faster, then I'm always willing to help!"

"Hey, can I play on the Quiddich Team too?" Jackal asked.

"No, you're not magical like us," said Shinji. "And therefore you wouldn't be able to make your broom fly and therefore you would be pretty useless when it came to a game of Quiddich because you wouldn't be able to get off the ground."

Hiyoshi looked like he was only waiting for Shinji to finish and then he added, "Besides, we don't feel like explaining the rules to you."

"Can you explain the rules to me?" Bane asked.

"It's not that interesting," Eiji admitted.

"And it's really complicated and annoying," said Hiyoshi. "And if the game goes by as fast as it did last time then we shouldn't have a problem, especially since Harry Potter is dead."

"Who's Harry Potter?" asked Bane.

"That is an even longer and more complicated explanation," said Shinji. "But I'll start if you want me to."

"No, that's all right," said everyone else.


	51. The Return

Chapter 51- The Return

"We certainly get a lot of repeat missions," Eiji remarked to his fellow Hufflepuffs. "We had to solve a second case in the Detective Universe, terrorize the village in the Cowboy Universe, kill the original character in the Mary Sue Universe, win a soccer game in the Soccer Universe and _now _we have to win Quiddich again! Can't we get some originality?"

The other members of Hufflepuff only looked at Eiji.

"It happens," said Jackal.

"When is our next Quiddich game?" Kamio asked the Harry Potter Universe savvy people, Hiyoshi and Shinji.

"Tomorrow," Hiyoshi answered.

"I guess it's just a waiting game until then," said Bane with a shrug.

"What are we supposed to do while we wait?" asked Jackal.

"Well, the two of us have to go to class tomorrow," said Hiyoshi with a shrug. "The game isn't until after classes are over so you'll just have to wait until we're done."

"Maybe we can explore the castle!" said Eiji excitedly. "That's something I wanted to do last time but no one felt like appeasing me!"

"Maybe we can eradicate more evil," Choutarou suggested. "On days beginning with 'T' I have the ability to anticipate the flow of evil energy!"

"Do you?" said the others, looking impressed.

"Yes," said Choutarou. "And, as it happens, I'm getting a strong vibe right now…"

"How?" said Hiyoshi. "Everything has been going smoothly since we got back."

"I hope this doesn't mean Shishido will get kidnapped by the evil overlord of darkness again!" said Choutarou wistfully, probably blocking out the fact that Shishido had also been killed by the same overlord.

"You killed He Who Must Not Be Named last time, so that definitely can't happen," Shinji said supportively. "Ever since then, the people in this universe have been rejoicing pretty much nonstop. The thing is, though, everyone thinks Harry Potter had something to do with it because it's perfectly coincided with his death."

"But how can that be possible?" said Choutarou. "Admittedly, I regret accidentally murdering Harry Potter, but everyone saw it happen so they should not be under any false pretenses that Voldemort had anything to do with it!"

Shinji and Hiyoshi both winced. "Don't say that name!" said Hiyoshi.

Meanwhile…

Members of Ravenclaw were fairly indifferent about their situation. "I foresee no need for drastic measures," Inui said contently as he sat down and tried to relax. "Hufflepuff's next game is against Ravenclaw and, as long as they have Ootori as their Seeker, we can rest easy."

"It's not like you to not have a back up plan," Saeki said.

"That's a double negative," Inui said.

"I'm just saying," said Saeki defensively.

"I'm fairly certain I'm rather magical on occasion…" Shiraishi mused. "Perhaps I could try out for the Ravenclaw Quiddich team."

"Why would you do something like that?" questioned Ryou. "We want Hufflepuff to win."

"Yeah!" said Atsushi. "If anything, we should implement drastic measures anyway so we don't have to wait the day it'll take for the game to take place!"

"Did you just cheerfully and enthusiastically advocate for drastic measures?" Inui said, looking slightly surprised. Then he pointed at Saeki. "You did the same thing."

"Not really," said Saeki, trying to remember exactly what he had said which would have sounded like he wanted to go around and kill people pointlessly.

"Let's just kill everyone," said Oshitari with a shrug.

"Everyone?" Saeki repeated uneasily.

"Well, not everyone," Oshitari revised. "Just _most _people."

"For the record, I never said anything about wanting drastic measures," Shiraishi announced.

"Neither did I!" said Ryou.

"Yes you did," said Shiraishi.

"No I didn't," Ryou said, looking initially confused. Then he pointed at Atsushi and said, "He did."

Shiraishi looked back and forth between the two. "Oh," he said. "Same thing."

"Not the same thing!" Ryou and Atsushi yelled angrily.

"I didn't advocate drastic measures either…" Saeki finally concluded.

Meanwhile…

The members of the Gryffindor house entered the common room to see there were several shrines to Harry Potter all over the place. It seemed as though there were many students around whose only purpose was to sit around and weep over Harry Potter's death.

"I might feel affected by this if not for the fact that I am numb to murder and death," Momo remarked.

"Is this experience going to leave lasting effects on my psyche?" Itsuki questioned, his lip quivering slightly.

"Probably," said Oishi. "But if things work out like last time, then we'll go to the Future Universe last and that place has great rehabilitation centers!"

"I just want to be back in our correct universe playing tennis again," said Ryoma longingly.

"Maybe while we're here, we can find a magic spell which will allow me to bring Horse back home…" Taka said thoughtfully.

"Where is that horse, by the way?" Momo asked.

"I set him free for the time we spent in this universe," Taka said, looking sad. "I think Horse might be beginning to resent me for ignoring him so often."

"I don't think your horse has feelings," said Marui IN HIS MIND. Everyone else knew better to not even think something so sacrilegious.

"I think your horse is one of the most loyal and resilient things I've ever seen," Oishi announced, putting his arm around Taka like a pal.

"You mean that?" said Taka, his eyes welding with tears.

"No matter what happens and no matter what he goes through, he always pulls through for you when you need him the most!" said Oishi. "And that's what makes a true friend!"

"You're right," said Taka. "Horse IS a true friend!"

"Horse has been killed several times defending you, hasn't he?" said Ryoma unhelpfully.

"Oh Horse!" Taka exclaimed, burying his face in his hands and sobbing as Oishi hugged him and said, "There, there."

"I'm still not sure what the big deal is about killing," David said, putting his hands on his hips. "I mean, _destroying_ something is the worst that could happen! I don't understand how _killing _could possibly be worse than that!"

"What, are you the cut version or something?" Marui questioned.

"Yeah," David answered. "I'm on after school at 4:30."

"Oh," said the others.

Meanwhile…

In contrast to the Gryffindor common room, the Slytherin common room was paying homage to the late Professor Snape who had met an untimely end at the hands on Atobe.

Who was, by the way, looking quite proud of his handiwork. "I'd like to thank all the little people out there who made this possible," Atobe said as he bowed in front of the massive painting of Professor Snape which had stuffed animals and wreaths and other junk around it.

"I don't think you should be feeling as proud of this as you are," said Yagyuu from under the safety of his hooded cloak so no Slytherin student happening by would notice he and Niou were zombies.

"Why not?" said Atobe as he stood in a manner which suggested the only thing that was missing was an American flag waving triumphantly behind him.

"Because it's obvious that this person you murdered was beloved by at least the students who live in this room," Yagyuu said with a shrug.

"It was necessary at the time," Kirihara said even though it pained him to say anything in opposition to his fellow Rikkai Dai teammates.

"Thank you for defending my honor," said Atobe, looking overly dramatic.

"I don't know," said Niou. "I have to agree. I don't think we should put such a heavy emphasis on murder anymore."

"Says the zombie," said Atobe.

"Don't hate on me just because I'm a zombie," said Niou.

"You won't be saying the same thing once you get hungry and need to eat some brains of the living," Atobe said, crossing his arms.

"Renji says Jirou tastes awesome," said Kirihara. Then he stopped and thought for a moment. "Why are so many members of Rikkai Dai undead?"

"Not to be completely random or anything," Shishido said slowly, glancing around the room. "But are we missing someone?"

"Did Shishido get kidnapped again?" Atobe demanded.

"No," said Shishido, looking annoyed. "I'm standing right in front of you. I'm the one who noticed someone was missing."

"You were?" said Atobe.

"Yeah," said Shishido. "Remember how I said, 'are we missing someone?'"

"That's true," said Atobe.

"So who are we missing, then?" Yagyuu questioned.

Then they all counted each other up and came to an unfortunate conclusion.

"Where's Fuji?" said Kaidou finally.

"This can only mean one thing!" Shishido decided. "Choutarou didn't actually kill that dastardly villain who kidnapped me the first time around! And now, he's come back to get his revenge by kidnapping Fuji for some reason!"

"Did you really say 'dastardly villain' just now?" questioned Niou skeptically.

"Shut up!" Shishido ordered.

"Or, perhaps, and much more likely," Atobe began, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Fuji has opted to side with the darkness and has become the new evil threat to this entire Universe!"

Everyone else gasped.

"How is that more likely than what I said?" Shishido demanded.

"Besides, there are a couple of reasons why that couldn't possibly be what happened!" Kirihara said, sticking his finger up in the air. "First, as evil as Fuji is, he doesn't have any magic powers, which means he is at a serious disadvantage to others in this universe who would try to stop him! Second, if Fuji was going to become an evil overlord of any universe, he would probably wait until we got back to our own so he could at least be male in his conquest over good!"

"Those are two extremely well thought out reasons," said Atobe. "But it proves nothing."

"Also, he's standing right there," Kirihara said, pointing at the staircase which happened to be behind Atobe.

Atobe turned around to see Fuji was standing there, sure enough. "Really, Atobe?" said Fuji, looking more annoyed than offended. "Opted to side with the darkness? Is that really how you think it works?"

"We were brainstorming," said Atobe. "In brainstorming, you get immunity from anything stupid you say."

"See?" said Shishido. "I was right."

"No you weren't," said Yagyuu. "You said he was kidnapped by a dastardly villain."

"Well, I was more right than Atobe," Shishido decided.

"You were both equally wrong," Kaidou said.

"Where were you, then?" Niou said to Fuji, not completely convinced of his innocence.

"I just went upstairs to get some _boys _clothes," Fuji said as he gestured towards the outfit he was wearing. Sure, he was wearing pants and everything, but the others weren't exactly buying into the idea that they were made for men.

Before the silly argument could continue any further, a group of students came running into the common room flailing their arms around in a silly manner. "He Who Must Not Be Named has returned!" they shouted. "And he's looking for the Boy Who Lived!"

"Why can't we just go through a Universe without a hitch for once?" Kirihara groaned.

**/////**

**A/N: And so it goes.**


	52. Evil Compromises

Chapter 52- Evil Compromises

In the end, the entire sorting process turned out to be pretty useless because they all had to meet up and run outside to where Lord Voldemort was apparently plotting and being incredibly evil. Regular students of Hogwarts were not permitted to go outside, but Hiyoshi and Shinji felt above Dumbledore's law and followed their pals.

"I knew I sensed something evil approaching!" Choutarou said.

"That's right!" said Shishido. "You have that power today!"

"It didn't do us a lot of good," said Inui, looking irritated.

"Well, I can lead the way to exactly where he is!" said Choutarou.

"Or we could just head towards where the sky gets dark and cloudy over there," said Oshitari, pointing at the sky in the distance where there were lightning bolts striking. "It doesn't take a detective to know that's where the evil is."

"I am volunteering to use my powers and you guys are just shutting me down!" Choutarou said as he buried his face in his hands and burst into tears. Shishido started comforting his best friend and looked at the others with an expression which said, "You all should be ashamed of yourselves!"

"Can't we just ignore the evil overlord and just play our sports game?" Kirihara complained as they began their trek to the cloudy and dark area of the sky.

"Undoubtedly all Quidditch games will be cancelled if the evil overlord has his way," said Inui, raising his eyebrow.

"How about we challenge the evil overlord to a game of Quidditch?" said Saeki with a bit of a chuckle at his own silly remark.

"_What_?" said Inui in such a flabbergasted tone that suggested Saeki had just asked him if he wanted to be his bridesmaid.

Saeki looked a little nervous and quickly said, "It was just a joke."

"No," said Inui. "Elaborate."

"What do you mean?" said Saeki, looking around for anyone to support him in a battle of wits against Inui, but no one was going to offer him any help.

"How would you go against organizing that?" Inui demanded.

"Well, it's just that while we were in the Ravenclaw common room, Shiraishi said something about being magical, and I was just thinking that maybe he _could _play Quidditch, and then I was just throwing it out there that we could kill two birds with one stone—it was just a joke!" Saeki looked so terrified of Inui that he was actually wincing as if Inui would smack him.

"No, it's genius," Inui said, turning around and stroking his beardless chin. "In the name of Hufflepuff, we can challenge Lord Voldemort to a game of Quidditch."

"That sentence just sounds disabled," Shiraishi whispered to Kirihara since he was under the impression that they were friends. After all, Kirihara had previously opened up to him about being lonesome with no teammates, but now that Kirihara had teammates to spend time with, he didn't need Shiraishi anymore, so he promptly stepped away from him. Of course, he had the option of standing next to Niou and Yagyuu who were both zombies, so he promptly decided to step away from them and instead stood next to Marui and Jackal who were far less repulsive.

"I don't think we have enough magical people in our group," Eiji pointed out before Inui could expel too much brain energy in this theory.

"That's all right," said Inui. "As long as Ootori is the Seeker, we'll win."

"Aw, thanks," said Choutarou as he embarrassedly kicked the ground.

"It's not a compliment, it's a fact," said Inui harshly.

"Oh," said Choutarou, bowing his head in shame.

"But what if Lord Voldemort doesn't want to play a game of Quidditch against us?" questioned Kaidou rationally.

"That's true," said Atobe. "The last time we encountered him, he seemed quite enthused with the idea of murdering us. I doubt he will have changed his mind, especially after how we went about defeating and subsequently humiliating him."

"We could at least try," said Inui. "Why do you all have to be so negative?"

Inui had a point, so they decided to humor him. They were on their way over to defeat Voldemort after all, so it wouldn't hurt to at least ask him if he wanted to play a game of Quidditch against them. If he said yes, then they would try to beat him in a game and get to go home early. If he said no, then they would just kill him and then play a game of Quidditch tomorrow. Easy as pie.

When they came up over the hill, they were faced with an evil group of distinctly evil people standing around doing evil things. Needless to say, it all had a very evil aura to it.

When the massive group of twenty-five people came into view, the group of evil people was fairly startled. But we also must assume that at least one of them knew they were coming so, in that sense, it wasn't necessarily a surprise.

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named AKA Lord Voldemort was standing in the middle of the group and he promptly ordered all his flunkies to step aside when he saw just who was approaching them. It also happened that Voldemort had decided to have his little powwow right in the middle of the school's Quidditch field, so it was a great conversation starter.

"So we were thinking," Inui started, but Voldemort put his arm up to indicate he wanted silence. This offended Inui of course, but he naturally couldn't ignore the pressing fact that Voldemort had the power to kill people just by yelling at them, so he was quiet.

"Where is the Boy Who Lived?" Voldemort demanded.

"Oh, we killed him by accident," said Shinji, hiding behind Choutarou.

"What?" said Voldemort.

"Harry Potter," said Shinji.

"Oh, I don't care about Harry Potter," said Voldemort dismissively.

"WHAT?" yelled everyone in the entire universe.

"No, I'm referring to that boy right there!" said Voldemort as he pointed at the massive group of boys. (And two girls.)

"Um…which boy?" asked Taka.

"The one I killed previously and is now standing up as if I didn't kill him," said Voldemort.

"You know, I killed _you _previously and you are now standing up as if I didn't kill you," said Choutarou.

"I think he's talking about me," said Shishido. "He killed me, right?"

"Right, Shishido!" said Choutarou. "That's why I avenged you!"

"So!" said Lord Voldemort. "You managed to absorb the most unforgiveable of all the Unforgiveable Curses! You are the Boy Who Lived!"

"I guess I am," said Shishido, looking pretty proud of himself.

Atobe hit him over the head. "It's nothing special you did," he made sure to remind him. "First you got kidnapped and then he killed you. Then, because we're disrupting the space-time continuum, you come back to life. It could have easily been anyone else."

"Join me!" Voldemort commanded. "And we will take over the entire wizarding world!"

"Hmm…" said Shishido, looking as though he was actually mulling it over.

"You don't need to be evil AGAIN," said Ryoma, looking unimpressed.

"I'm not actually contemplating becoming evil!" said Shishido.

"As no one says the secret word, we should be fine," said Saeki.

"What was the secret word again?" Bane questioned.

David looked like he was about to just blurt it out but everyone standing remotely near him jumped on top of him to cover his mouth.

"Actually, Lord Voldemort, we were thinking we could play a Quidditch match against you," said Choutarou.

Lord Voldemort burst into a fit of hysterical laughter and his flunkies joined in.

"That's not very nice…" said Choutarou, legitimately looking sad.

"Why would I agree to something like that?" Voldemort demanded.

"Because if you say no then we'll just kill you like we killed you last time," said Atobe. And the rest of Hyoutei did the "Mmm-HM" while snapping their fingers.

"Obviously you didn't totally kill me last time," said Voldemort childishly.

"A mistake I won't make again!" Choutarou said, pointing dramatically at Voldemort. At first, Voldemort jumped behind a rock to protect himself, but then he soon realized that Choutarou had not fired any sort of projectile at him so he felt a little silly as he crawled out from behind the rock and brushed himself off.

"A game of Quidditch you say?" said Voldemort, sounding interested. "What are the terms? If you win, then I will leave this place forever. What do I get if I win?"

The tennis players all huddled together.

"Does it matter?" asked Marui. "We're pretty much definitely going to beat him, right?"

"Right," said everyone, including Marui.

"If you win," Inui started and then began to ponder.

"Then you get this big spooky castle behind us," Shiraishi said.

Everyone else was like: OK, but Hiyoshi and Shinji were like: "BE STILL OUR HEARTS!" and nearly fainted at the notion that Voldemort would take over Hogwarts.

"Excellent!" said Voldemort. "I accept your challenge!"

He snapped his fingers and a group of his favorite flunkies whipped out their brooms and leapt up into the air.

"There are broomsticks in the locker room!" said Hiyoshi. "How many will we need?"

"Two for you guys, one for Ootori and…one for Shiraishi, I guess," said Inui as Hiyoshi and Shinji ran off to the locker room.

"I didn't actually want to play," said Shiraishi. "My earlier remarks were based on the fact that I just wanted attention."

"I can use my jet boots," said Shishido. "I'll make it look like I'm flying a broom."

"Why can't Ootori just go snap his neck?" said Fuji impatiently.

"Because the mission is to win a Quidditch game," said Inui. "This way, we're killing two birds with one stone. The sooner we plow through these missions…"

"The sooner I'm a guy again," Fuji grumbled.

Hiyoshi and Shinji returned with an armful of brooms just in case, and also the trunk of the balls of play. "Okay, so Shinji and I are the Beaters," said Hiyoshi. "Ootori's the Seeker. We need three Chasers and a Keeper."

"Shiraishi can be the Keeper," said Inui.

"I just said I actually don't want to do it," said Shiraishi.

"It's too late for that," said Inui as he wrote everything down. "Shishido will be one of the Chasers. We need two more Chasers. Any volunteers?"

"I feel like it would be easier to volunteer for stuff if we actually knew what Chasers did," said Oshitari.

"All right, thanks for volunteering, Oshitari," said Inui as he tossed Oshitari a broomstick.

"What?" Oshitari demanded. "I obviously can't fly!"

"One more Chaser? Anyone?" Inui looked around. Clearly no one wanted to even say anything or else Inui would interpret that as a volunteer.

"YOU do it, Inui," said Ryoma.

"I couldn't possibly," said Inui. He wasn't going to make Ryoma do it because he knew Ryoma would just end up ruining anything anyway so, instead, he gave the last broomstick to Marui. "Congratulations."

Marui took the last broomstick and was like wutevah. He knew he was going to be badass no matter where he stood so he accepted.

"Are you ready yet to accept your fate?" Voldemort asked as he looked fairly silly hovering there above them with no nose.

"In the name of Hufflepuff," said Hiyoshi as he and the rest of his teammates put their hands in the middle of the huddle and jumped up into the air, using a spell to actually freeze their poses for a few seconds. Then, unfortunately, they had to unfreeze so they could actually play a Quiddich match against the evil overlord of the wizarding world.


	53. Quidditch Again

Chapter 53- Quidditch Again

So Hiyoshi, Shinji, Choutarou, Shishido, Shiraishi, Oshitari and Marui took to the field to face off against Voldemort and his various minions of evil. Since Inui is the self declared everything-except-something-which-would-involve-doing-work, he took it upon himself to open up the box and set all the balls free into the world.

As it turned out, Voldemort had appointed himself as his team's Seeker. He and Choutarou came up to each other eye level, glaring at one another angrily.

"You killed Shishido," said Choutarou, seething through his teeth.

"You should join me," said Lord Voldemort. "You are immune to Unforgiveable Curses. With our combined forces, we would be invincible!"

Choutarou only leaned over and smacked Voldemort across the face. "How do you sleep at night?" he questioned.

Lord Voldemort gasped dramatically and turned up his nose to Choutarou and flew away. Of course, he turned up his nose in the sense of the expression and not literally, because Voldemort of course doesn't have a nose.

So, meanwhile, Oshitari was just standing in the middle of the field holding the broomstick with a face that was like, "Oh come on."

"Why the less-than-enthusiastic expression?" Marui questioned.

"Why am I here?" said Oshitari. "I can't fly."

"Neither can I," said Marui.

"And neither can I," said Shiraishi as he walked over.

"'I thought you were a genie," said Oshitari, looking annoyed. "I find it rather convenient that you suddenly don't have your powers anymore."

"Really?" said Shiraishi skeptically. "I find it rather inconvenient."

"I just mean that maybe you're lying about the fact that you don't have powers," said Oshitari.

"Why would I do something like that?" questioned Shiraishi.

"He does it," said Oshitari, pointing up at Choutarou who was using his super vision to look around for the Snitch.

"Yes, but when we need him, he always comes through in the end!" Marui announced as if he knew anything.

Oshitari decided to roll his eyes and ignore people who didn't know any better. "I'm going to go watch with the others," he announced.

Shishido, meanwhile, had taken it upon himself to use his skillz to defend the goals since Shiraishi was obviously not doing his job. Of course, it proved to be a pretty difficult job because Oshitari and Marui were obviously not doing their jobs either so the Death Eaters had pretty much free range of the ball in which they use to score goals.

"I am growing tired of this!" Voldemort declared as he got frustrated that he wasn't as good at being a Seeker as he was at being an evil overlord. Then again, he's not particularly good at that either, is he? "This game is over!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Choutarou.

"It means I am ending the game right now!" said Voldemort.

"Does that mean you forfeit?" said Choutarou. "Because if you forfeit then we automatically win and you have to go away forever."

"I do not forfeit!" Voldemort shouted as he whipped out his wand and pointed it at Choutarou. Then he yelled the killing curse which may or may not sound exactly like 'Abra Kadabra' but should be taken much more seriously because there are all kinds of bad connotations that go along with a killing curse.

The lightning bolt shot out of Voldemort's wand, and Choutarou opted to simply move to the side instead of have to do anything else.

"That was just uncalled for!" Choutarou scolded him, but then he noticed that Voldemort was smiling evilly, so Choutarou turned around to see the lightning bolt killing curse was GOING DIRECTLY TOWARDS SHISHIDO!

Choutarou was not able to act fast enough, unfortunately, and Shishido ended up getting the killing curse right in the face. This, of course, knocked him right off his broomstick and sent him plummeting to the ground, leaving the goals unattended so the Death Eaters who had apparently not heard the game was over thought they were just going to get some free shots without it occurring to them that the points didn't matter anymore.

To add insult to injury (or death), Shishido landed right on top of Oshitari, Shiraishi and Marui who were on their way to leave the field.

"Uncool!" Marui complained as he lost significant life off his yellow life bar.

"SHISHIDO!" Choutarou yelled dramatically.

He was about to go and speed to Shishido's side, but then he turned around and grabbed Voldemort by the head, snapped his neck, and THEN rushed to Shishido's side.

"The hell…?" said the confused crowd since they all happened to be looking away when Ryoma fell through the bleachers and were busy laughing at them so they missed the commotion. They only turned around in time to see Voldemort's lifeless body hit the ground after his neck had been snapped.

"He killed Shishido!" said Choutarou. "Again!"

"Well, I'm still alive, so can you get him off me?" Oshitari complained.

"I thought Shishido was supposed to be the Boy Who Lived," said Shiraishi, looking annoyed.

"We have to have another funeral for Shishido!" said Choutarou as he wiped his eyes with a hanky.

"Another funeral?" whined the crowd.

"YES!" said Choutarou, offended that they would think Shishido would go without a funeral.

"Is the game over?" said Shinji as he and Hiyoshi flew over to where the rest of the Quidditch team was standing.

"Bad news everyone," said Inui as he walked over.

"I know already," said Choutarou sadly. "Shishido is dead!"

Inui stared at Choutarou who was weeping, and then looked at everyone else. "Well, the _other _bad news is that I don't think this game counted," he said. "We're going to have to play again tomorrow."

"We should have never come out here in the first place," said Choutarou.

"I'm not an expert on Universe hopping," said Marui. "But won't Shishido just come back to life next time?"

"What a brutal, senseless death!" Choutarou exclaimed, obviously completely ignoring Marui. "Voldemort did this ONLY to get a rise out of me!"

No one was going to argue with him that time because they were pretty sure he was right.

It was around that time that the Death Eaters noticed the other team was all standing around and not attempting to win. So they stopped their foolish behavior and realized Voldemort had been killed. Apparently, they weren't terribly perceptive.

"They killed Voldemort!" said one of the Death Eaters, feeling slightly silly for not noticing sooner.

"How are we supposed to win without a Seeker?" said another Death Eaters, but the others slapped him for being stupid.

"GET 'EM!" said the Death Eaters in an unimaginably out-of-character fashion as they pointed dramatically at the group of tennis players who had previously been located on the bleachers, griping about how Shishido was always causing trouble by getting kidnapped or turning evil or dying, but when they noticed the Death Eaters were now on a mission to destroy them, they were a little more active.

"ARGH!" they all yelled as they dove to the side just in time to miss a horrible Unforgiveable Curse.

"Oh," said Inui as he noticed all his friends were in peril.

"You know what, this is stupid," said Oshitari as he pushed Shishido's corpse off himself, raised his gun and open fired on the mass of people in front of him. He wasn't terribly concerned with where he was aiming because he was fairly certain that he would probably home in on the Death Eaters who were on the warpath. The Death Eaters were clearly not prepared to receive bullets and their initial reaction was to offset the attack with magic spells, but as previously stated, they didn't account for bullets. As a result, all of them ended up biting the dust, joining their lover/master in the afterworld.

"Nice job, you got them all!" said Kirihara as he did a fist pump and then promptly got shot as well. "OW!"

"Oops," said Oshitari as he stopped shooting blindly into a crowd of people.

"Too bad you killed Kirihara," said Fuji with a shrug.

"I'm not dead…" Kirihara whimpered, but he certainly was sad that he was shot as he caressed his injured arm.

Fuji looked like he was ready to finish the job just for the heck of it, but Inui cleared his throat to get attention. "Killing other people is okay," said Inui. "But let's draw the line at killing each other, all right?"

"But…" Fuji started, looking legitimately disappointed.

"I'd almost prefer to be dead at this point so I could just wake up in the next universe without this pain!" Kirihara declared. Then he looked up and realized Fuji was taking him seriously, so he promptly waved his arm and yelled, "NOT REALLY."

"I'm tired," Bane complained. "Can we go back to that castle yet?"

"But Shishido is still dead!" said Choutarou as he literally previously did nothing to oppose the Death Eaters attempts at all his compradres' lives. "And we have to have a funeral for him!" Choutarou then started looking around for a good place to dig a hole and bury Shishido in the middle of the Quidditch field.

"We're going to go back to school and tell everyone there's no reason to cancel any Quidditch games tomorrow," said Hiyoshi, referring to himself and Shinji.

"Can I come too?" Kirihara asked. "I'm injured!"

"Uh…" said Shinji and Hiyoshi together as they promptly got on their brooms and flew away before Kirihara could continue his completely legitimate request.

"I have some Aleve if you want it," said Saeki.

"I don't want Aleve!" Kirihara yelled, throwing a temper tantrum.

Fuji looked at Inui with a face that said, "Can I kill him _now_?"

"No," said Inui with his voice instead of with his face. "I'm going to make the argument that the only people who care about Shishido are on Hyoutei, therefore the rest of us are going to go back to the castle now."

"I don't care about Shishido!" said Atobe like a childish person but he was far too late because all the tennis players who were not on Hyoutei were all scurrying away as fast as possible. He looked like he was going to start pouting, but then he saw Oshitari was trying to sneak away and said, "You have to stay."

"We're seriously the only people eon Hyoutei who are here," said Oshitari. "Hiyoshi already left."

"If Hiyoshi jumped off a bridge, would you do that?" said Atobe.

"If it got me out of Shishido's funeral," Oshitari said with a shrug.

"I'm still here!" Kirihara complained.

"Guys, I dug the hole!" said Choutarou as he flew out of the hole and then looked around to see that only Atobe, Oshitari and Kirihara were still there. "Where did everyone go? Don't they WANT to be at Shishido's funeral?"

He looked like he was going to burst into tears again so Atobe and Oshitari decided to appease him and go through some time of torture just so he wouldn't be scarred for life.

"Okay, you're still going to play in that Quidditch game tomorrow, right?" said Oshitari after the funeral finally ended.

"I'll do it…for Shishido!" Choutarou announced, clenching his fist dramatically.

"All right, as long as you win," said Atobe.

"Guys, I'm bleeding, and you were the one who shot me, so I think it's your responsibility to take me to a hospital!" Kirihara yelled as the remainder of Hyoutei walked by him as if he wasn't lying there.

"I could heal him," said Choutarou without realizing both Oshitari and Atobe were reaching for their guns.

"Fine…" they said, eyeing Kirihara as if to say, "Next time…"


	54. Unstress

Chapter 54- Unstress

"And so, for eradicating the Dark Lord from our world forever, we present you with these lifetime supply of jellybeans," said Dumbledore as he stood in front of the entire school, standing up on a stage with Choutarou standing next to him. Choutarou accepted the box of the aforementioned item and waved to the crowd as they all cheered for him.

Everyone else was sitting in the audience watching, convinced they deserved some kind of reward even though they literally did nothing to help. Except for maybe Oshitari who killed all the Death Eaters, but it's not like that took any effort.

"Would you like to say a few words?" asked Dumbledore.

"Uh…" Choutarou started but then he looked out into the crowd to see Inui pointing at a clock and giving him the signal to wrap it up. "No."

"All right, then let us have a moment of silence for the student we lost in the fight against the Dark Lord," said Dumbledore as he put his head down.

The tennis players in the crowd grumbled and groaned, especially Atobe and Oshitari who didn't want to have to deal with paying attention to another funeral.

"How much time until the game starts?" Eiji whispered, leaning over to his fellow Hufflepuffer, Kamio.

"The game was supposed to start ten minutes ago," Kamio answered, looking distressed.

"Do you think they're going to cancel or postpone it?" Bane asked nervously.

A couple of random Hufflepuff wizards gave their new classmates hard looks to tell them to STFU while they were having a moment of silence for a dead person.

"Sorry," said Eiji, Kamio and Bane as they bowed their heads in shame.

The people on Ravenclaw didn't care as much about if people were telling them to be quiet because they were more concerned about the potential non-Quidditch that might happen if the awards ceremony went on very much longer.

"I'm going to raise my hand," said Shiraishi.

"Maybe we should just wait," Saeki tried to reason with him, but he was far too late because Shiraishi had raised his hand and cleared his throat for attention. Inui was GOING to stop him, but then he decided that if Shiraishi hadn't done it, then someone else would have had to, so he might as well just allow it.

"Um…yes?" said Dumbledore to Shiraishi.

"I don't know about all of you, but I think a nice spectator sport right about now would definitely raise everyone's spirits," Shiraishi said. "So we should go ahead with the regularly scheduled activities and have a game. Is everyone with me?"

He looked around, expecting support from all the other students, but they all just looked at him with horrified expressions on their faces.

"Yes?" he said. "No?"

"How dare he defile the moment of silence in Shishido's honor…" said Choutarou, still acting way too dramatically.

However, it appeared as though Dumbledore had forgotten all about the time and remembered that his visitors from another universe needed to play a game of Quidditch in order to leave.

"Oh right," said Dumbledore. "Let's all go to the Quidditch fields."

"BUT PROFESSOR!" yelled a student who jumped to his feet and probably was Percy. "I hardly think now is the time for games!"

"On the contrary, now is the perfect time for games!" Dumbledore announced. "We have vanquished the Dark Lord and are free to do anything we please! Now everyone to the Quidditch fields!"

"Or at least just the two opposing teams, anyway," Shiraishi decided, but everyone promptly hushed him.

So even though the students were a little surprised by their teacher's sudden decision to start a Quidditch game, they all didn't want to oppose Dumbledore so the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw teams suited up in the locker room to get ready for the game while the visitors from other universes were given the option of sitting all together in a reserved place.

"I admit, your rude outburst during Ootori's award ceremony was a good enough idea," Inui said to Shiraishi somewhat reluctantly.

"Of course it was a good idea," said Shiraishi. "It was so good, it was ecstasy."

"It was what?" inquired a tennis player who happened to be sitting nearby and overheard Shiraishi's total out-of-context use of a perfectly legitimate word.

"Ecstasy," said Shiraishi, striking a pose which made Atobe feel like he was being challenged.

"Oh yeah, that's a thing you say, isn't it?" said Momo, looking all judgmental and skeptical.

Shiraishi was going to shout, "STOP JUDGING ME!" but he refrained at the last minute and only crossed his arms and pouted because no one was fawning over his mere presence.

"WHAT'S THAT?" screamed an extremely outraged student who happened to be walking by just when Yagyuu was scratching his head and accidentally removed basically all his hair.

"Aw man," said Yagyuu, ignoring the student and instead becoming extremely distracted by the tuft of hair in his hand.

Instead of offering any explanation to the student which may have been considered plausible in this particular universe, Oshitari opted to act so he reached out and grabbed the student by the head and gave him the ol' three-quarter-turn.

"Was that necessary?" said Marui.

"Yes," said Oshitari.

"Inui, you never should have said it was okay to kill other people!" Eiji gasped.

"Oshitari, you really didn't _need _to kill that student," Inui agreed.

"Yes I did," Oshitari decided.

"No, you didn't!" Eiji said.

"You could have just punched him," said Momo.

"Why did he need to be punched?" Eiji demanded. "We didn't have to punch or kill anyone just now! It was totally unnecessary!"

"I don't need to justify myself to you," said Oshitari in that "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" tone.

"I'm going to put my foot down on this one," Eiji said.

"Oshitari, what was your reason for killing that innocent bystander?" Atobe questioned as if he were a concerned parent.

"Admittedly, I AM pretty stressed out right now," Oshitari said finally.

"Well, next time you have to unstress yourself by killing someone, kill Kirihara," said Inui as if that was a totally normal thing to say.

"NO!" said Kirihara immediately, and rightfully so. "That is not an acceptable way to alleviate your murderous impulses!"

"Besides, doesn't that completely go against what you said previously that it's okay to kill other people but not each other?" Fuji inquired since he was mostly just offended that Oshitari was getting special permission to kill Kirihara.

"I think Eiji's right, everyone," said Oishi. "We should not kill each other at all."

"I agree!" said Kirihara somewhat frantically.

"I can't believe there's even a need for this kind of discussion…" Ryoma said, putting his head in his hand as if he was disappointed. And there was fairly good need for disappointment.

"I think I have a manageable idea," Saeki began.

"I hope it's more tolerable than your idea to play a Quidditch game against Voldemort," said Inui under his breath but it was intentionally loud enough for Saeki to hear.

"You made me suggest that!" Saeki said, looking distressed.

"What's your idea?" Itsuki asked, also on board with avoiding killing and murder.

"I'm too self conscious to say now," Saeki said.

Then they all heard a strange crunching and slurping sound behind them so they all turned around to see that Yagyuu and Niou were discreetly munching on some brains of the student Oshitari had murdered previously. They were also managing to chew with their mouths open and, when they noticed everyone was looking at them, they felt awkward for a few seconds, but not awkward enough to stop eating.

"NOT OKAY!" Momo yelled, pointing at the activity that was not ending fast enough for him.

"It's been a long time since either of us has had anything to eat!" Niou yelled defensively.

"You two told us specifically that you would refrain from eating brains!" Kamio said.

"We said we would refrain from eating any of _your _brains," Yagyuu said. "You can't expect us not to eat. It's been like a whole day."

"You guys have to not do this in the future," said Bane. "Ever."

Niou and Yagyuu were sad, but they were like gluttons and could not stop eating brain because it was so nommy.

Before Inui had to intervene and ask them to at least take their dinner elsewhere, his pocket beeped. He filled with glee at the notion that their mission had been completed and, when he took out the remote, he found that it had.

"Hey, we just won the game I think!" Taka said, trying to become as distracted as possible from the zombies two feet away from him.

"YAY!!" cheered everyone.

A few minutes later, Choutarou came over, admitting that he barely pulled himself away from the victory party, but then he saw Niou and Yagyuu ashamedly still engaged in their brain eating activity and had a similar reaction to "DO NOT WANT" and promptly asked Inui to press the button as soon as possible.

So Inui was not about to argue with that, so he pressed the button as soon as they were engulfed by the white light.

"Couldn't you at least wait for us to finish?" said Niou, looking annoyed.

"NO," said everyone harshly.

"What happened?" said Shishido as he looked around confusedly. "Wasn't I just playing Quidditch?"

"Shishido!" said Choutarou as he ran up and hugged Shishido. "I'm so glad you're back!" Everyone muffled their laughter as Shishido tried to dismiss Choutarou from his own personal living area.

"Did I turn evil again?" Shishido said after everyone else had regained their composure and he looked very disappointed in himself.

"No, Voldemort killed you." Choutarou answered.

"Again?" Shishido demanded.

"You need to stop dying or being kidnapped or turning evil," Atobe ordered.

"Excuse me, but none of that is up to me," said Shishido.

"I should have done more to stop it, Shishido!" said Choutarou in an overly ambitious sort of way.

"It's not your fault, Choutarou!" said Shishido. "I have to be more on my guard from now on."

"We'll both work harder to prevent you from being kidnapped, killed or turned evil again," Choutarou decided.

Inui suddenly cleared his throat for attention so everyone turned it over to him. They were slightly relieved, though, because they were pretty much done with the Silver Pair's little banter session and were on the verge of telling them to stifle their noise anyway.

"It seems as though we are in a brand new universe again," said Inui. "I need everyone to look for clues to determine what universe this could possibly be."

"Man, I wanted to go straight to the Ninja Universe!" said Momo. "That one came right after the Harry Potter Universe last time, right?"

"If things continue in this particular trend, then it's likely the Ninja Universe will be next," Inui replied. "Now everyone start looking around for where we could possibly be."

Even though no one wanted to give Inui the satisfaction of being in charge, they did as they were told because it was the best way to ensure that they would be out of there faster.

"Is this another one of those normalish universes?" David asked.

"That sounds like it should have been a joke," said Inui.

"Well it wasn't," said David. "It was a serious question."

"Well I'm going to punch you anyway!" Bane announced.

"No more random violence!" said Eiji.

"I thought it was no more random _killing_," Fuji specified.

"I don't even know what killing is!" Bane said. And, by that time, David had opted to hide behind someone who could protect him from potentially getting punched for no reason, like Taka. Hiding behind someone like Kirihara would just be a bad choice because then he'd end up getting punched or shot by like EVERYONE.

"So, in response to your question which may or may not have been a joke," Inui said. "Yes, this universe does appear rather normalish…" He gestured around to their surroundings which included several old looking brick buildings and a small field with benches, pathways and tacky statues. "We appear to be in some kind of school setting. Judging by the size, I would have to say it is at least high school age."

"Anyone could have told you that," said Shiraishi.

"I choose not to acknowledge your input," said Inui.

"Your loss," Shiraishi said.

"So how about we split up based on our tennis teams and exclude Shiraishi from our reindeer games?" Kaidou suggested.

Everyone was a little taken aback by Kaidou's use of lingo, but they didn't want to be taken aback for too long because then Shiraishi might have been able to recover and argue. Hyoutei tore off in one direction, Seigaku in another and Rikkai Dai in a third. In the end, the only team left was the good-natured Rokkaku.

"Do you guys feel like adopting me again?" Shiraishi asked. "People seem to like me less than Kirihara."

"I guess…" said Bane as if this was among one of the most horrible things that could have happened to their team.

"Come on, guys," said Saeki. "Maybe we'll find more members of Rokkaku."

"Or even better, more members of Shitenhouji," Shiraishi mused.


	55. College Campus

Chapter 55- College Campus

"So I have established that there are no students on this campus who are also tennis players from Shitenhouji," said Inui as he and the rest of Seigaku stood in the mailroom. Yes, they had completely cut off communication with the other teams by leaving so abruptly in an attempt to bully Shiraishi, but Inui figured he'd just worry about it later and crossed his fingers that their collective irresponsibility wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass.

"And no one from Rikkai Dai or Rokkaku, either," Taka said pensively.

"That's a head scratcher!" said Eiji. "Because all the new people we've encountered so far have been from those schools."

"So that means whoever is in this universe is from another school all together," Oishi reasoned.

"Or is someone lesser known from one of the previously established teams," Ryoma pointed out.

"Or is someone not on the regulars," Kaidou added.

Everyone chuckled a little warmly at the thought of including someone who was not a contender for the Regular position.

"Well, what do we know about this universe?" Fuji said, actually attempting to be proactive now that he didn't have various people he hates around to irritate him. "Aside the fact that we figured out it's a college campus."

"Nothing really," said Inui truthfully. "And, in all honesty, there's a chance that the person we're looking for is not a student."

"You mean he could be a member of the faculty or part of the custodial staff?" said Eiji, and then he gasped dramatically. "Or maybe the college campus isn't the theme of this universe at all! What if he's a zombie?"

"Another Zombie Universe?" said Momo skeptically.

"Or something equally preposterous," Eiji said.

"Let's go with the most obvious option at this point," Inui advised. "Generally, where we appear has great significance to where we will eventually locate the people in the particular universe. Let's go with the assumption that the people we're looking for are at least on campus."

"What are the chances that those people will walk through that door right now?" said Oishi, pointing grandly at the door.

Everyone stared at the door and even started to do Jazz hands in an attempt to coax a miracle.

"It was worth a shot," said Oishi with a sigh.

"I hope the other groups are having more luck than us," said Taka.

Speaking of other groups, Hyoutei was wandering around aimlessly at the exact moment Taka pondered their predicaments. However, unlike Seigaku, Hyoutei was not quite motivated enough to actually do anything about finding the person who was located in this new mysterious universe. In fact, they were hardly concerned with the universe and more concerned with passing the time until someone else did something to get the ball rolling.

"I actually feel as though people aren't staring at my grayness here," said Atobe as they passed by a large group of students who did not bat an eye at them.

"This is a college campus," said Hiyoshi. "Comparatively speaking, your grayness must not be that big of a concern for them."

Atobe clearly believed that he, in general, should be a massive concern for everyone.

"Should we do anything about finding the person or people who are in this universe?" Choutarou asked. "I mean, after all, I am probably best equipped to find anyone."

"That doesn't work unless you have a thing belonging to the person you're trying to find," Shishido reminded him.

"Random question," said Oshitari. "Do you think if I shot my gun right now then it would seek out Kirihara and hit him?"

The others stared at him and were initially going to reprimand him for having a one track mind when it came to killing people (especially killing Kirihara) but they had to admit they were fairly curious as well.

"As curious as I am, I think we should avoid shooting a gun while on a school campus," said Choutarou because he was probably the only one who wasn't curious enough to experiment Oshitari's thought process. "That's bound to create chaos."

"Maybe chaos is just the thing we need to draw out the people from our original universe," Oshitari said but it was obvious he just wanted to shoot things.

"Judging my how much time has passed so far, I'm willing to bet that the people from our original universe are rather acclimated to this one pretty well," Atobe said. "It's unlikely their first instinct will be to seek out the origin of the gunfire."

"Actually, they'd probably go into hiding," Hiyoshi reasoned.

"Well fine," said Oshitari.

This conversation was occurring, of course, completely unbeknownst to Kirihara who was among a group which was slightly more conspicuous in appearance than Hyoutei. With his horse, Marui and Jackal's flamboyant costumes coupled the raw fact that Niou and Yagyuu were zombies, they were drawing a fair amount of attention by various students who were hanging around campus.

"Let's hide in here," Marui decided as they approached one of the large brick buildings and promptly shoved Niou and Yagyuu inside.

"You guys can't just go walking around outside as if it's totally normal that you're zombies," Kirihara advised as if he was a big expert.

"Well there's not much we can do about it," Yagyuu pointed out.

"You can stop pointing at people and commenting on how good their brains must taste," Jackal said.

Yagyuu and Niou looked at each other and then shrugged. "Okay, that's a little out of line," Yagyuu confessed.

"We'll stop doing that," Niou compromised.

"As long as we've come to a conclusion about _that_," said Kirihara, rolling his eyes.

"But if it's about drawing attention, then what about Kirihara?" said Yagyuu.

"What about me?" Kirihara demanded, looking offended.

"You have a horse," Yagyuu said, feeling a little stupid for even having to say it. "That is a little attention grabbing."

"She has a _name _you know!" said Kirihara, getting a little overprotective too quickly. "Her name is Forehand!"

"I welcome her life story," said Marui.

"Well, isn't that nice!" said Kirihara but then it occurred to him that Marui was being sarcastic. "That was just rude!"

"Tell us more about our other teammates who are switching around universes," Jackal suggested, perhaps wanting to avoid a brawl. "You know, Renji, our captain and co-captain, Sanada and Yukimura?"

"Oh, okay," said Kirihara, thriving in a situation in which he was in charge. "First, we came across Renji! He was a vampire."

"Oooo," said the rest of Rikkai Dai, which clearly meant they wanted elaboration.

"Yeah, like old school vampire," said Kirihara. "With a cape and everything. Can't go in the sun, turn into a bat and whenever he bites someone, they become his zombie slave. We won a couple of missions because of that. Then again, we lost a couple of missions because of that too. Then sometimes he just liked to suck our blood."

"But so Renji was allowed to fulfill his bloodlust but we're not?" said Niou since that was clearly the only thing he got out of the explanation.

"No, that's not it," said Kirihara, noticing everyone was up in arms. "Our mission was that we had to slay Renji which would, in turn, kill him. But he said that whoever slew him would have to let him suck his blood later."

"Oh, so it was a business compromise," said Yagyuu. "Let's get someone into a situation in which we have something and they don't and the only way to get it back is to give us a little taste of brains."

Yagyuu and Niou started rubbing their hands together diabolically and all the flesh on their fingers jiggled around like death flesh and Niou's eye popped out again. Of course, since they were drawing so much attention to themselves while also acting quite sinister, Kirihara went into one of the classrooms and removed a curtain hanging form the ceiling and threw the curtains upon his two zombied teammates.

"We must hide from the world!" said Niou as if he was actually upset by it.

The Random People Group comprised of Kamio, Shinji and Atsushi, were all strolling around on the lookout for members from their own teams. Out of all the groups, they speculated it would have to be one of theirs. After all, Fudomine had only two people and there was bound to be a third showing up. The spent a lot of their time wondering if anyone else on Fudomine would be even worth it.

Atsushi felt like a tool being on St. Rudolph. He knew for sure at least two people were coming up: Yuuta and Mizuki, which mean only tragedy would be around. He almost wanted to remain in this remotely normalish universe and stay there so they would never have to deal with Mizuki being a king and Yuuta being…whatever the hell he was.

"You know, maybe our group would make more sense with Shiraishi in it," Atsushi finally realized.

"Actually, we've been thinking about that…" said Kamio in a tone which suggested he was very reluctant in what he was about to say.

"As it turns out," Shinji continued. "You're a leftover person an everything, but we've decided we are fully justified in creating a Fudomine team right now and you, not being a member of Fudomine and all, would have to leave."

"Do you get what we're saying?" Kamio asked.

"I get it!" wept Atsushi as he buried his hands in his tears and ran off.

Kamio and Shinji watched him go and then looked at each other.

"Were we too harsh just then?" said Kamio.

"No way," said Shinji. "We were tender, understanding and gentle. No one should expect anymore from us and if they do then I don't want to be their friend in the first place."

So, at a loss of anything else to do, Atsushi brought his weeping session to the Rokkaku and Shiraishi group. "I was kicked out of the Leftover Group!" he wept.

"There, there," said Rokkaku as they had a big hug. Even Shiraishi was doing the hug.

"Can I be on Rokkaku again?" Atsushi asked, his lip quivering.

"I don't think that's up to me," said Saeki, looking at Ryou.

"Unofficially, he can hang out with us, I GUESS," said Ryou. "But once Mizuki gets here in the next Universe, he has to go hang out with HIM."

"By then, you'll probably have other friends to hang out with," Saeki said supportively since no one wants to voluntarily spend time with Mizuki.

"What's with all the shovels and buckets?" questioned Atsushi. "Why are you all wearing your bathing suits?"

"We're going to go do sea activities," Saeki replied.

The Rokkaku inside him swelled up with happiness and joy at the sound of sea activities. "Can I come?" he asked.

"You can take my spot," said Shiraishi immediately because he most certainly did not want to do sea activities though I wouldn't know WHY he wouldn't.

"YAY!" said Atsushi as he scooped up all the sea activities gear and got himself ready for the best day of his life.

All the members of Rokkaku grabbed the sea activity related items and ran off to do sea activities. Meanwhile, Shiraishi decided he was not keen to the idea of sea activities so he decided to stay seated on campus and do some of his favorite People Watching. He just loves watching people and giving them fake life stories when they come by him. Of course, some people probably give him a pretty complicated life story too, especially considering the ridiculous outfit he was wearing.

So he was sitting there innocently when, in the distance, he felt a disturbance in the force. Something was strange. He didn't know if it was because of his 'wish granter' powers might actually be coming back, but then again, they hadn't come back yet so it was doubtful they were ever going to at that point.

Finally, he turned around and saw two people deliberately walking right towards him in a somewhat accusatory tone.

"I don't appreciate your tone!" Shiraishi said since he wanted to be the first one to show who was in charge.

"Excuse me?" said one of them. "You're the one dressed like a freak."

"I take offense to that," said Shiraishi. "I am a foreign exchange student and this is how I normally dress where I come from."

"Oh, see, you were wrong," said the second one to the other as they both shrugged and started to walk away.

Shiraishi let curiosity get the best of him. "Wrong about what?"

"We thought we knew you from someplace," said the first one. "But I guess not, especially if you're a foreign exchange student."

"Oh wait," said Shiraishi. "Is this context you've seen me happen to have something to do with boy's middle school tennis?"

As soon as he said that, he was jumped by the two people, leaping upon him and wrestling him to the ground so he could be properly thanked for finding them. Shiraishi felt like this interaction was slowly creeping up on the rape boarder so, luckily, they finally got off him.

"Wait so, who are you?" said one of them.

"I am Shiraishi, captain of Shitenhouji," said Shiraishi.

"Uhhh…"

"Ecstasy?" Shiraishi tried.

"Oh, THAT guy!" said the second new person.

"And who are you two?" said Shiraishi.

"Obviously it's us!" said the first one. "I'm Kai, and this is Kite! We're both on Higa!"

"_Higa_!" said Shiraishi, sounding absolutely outraged.


	56. College Tennis

Chapter 56- College Tennis

"OH! _HIGA_!" exclaimed everyone else as they chuckled warmly at the notion that Higa existed.

"Yeah!" said Kai and Kite. This part of the story clearly takes place AFTER the long explanation of what's been going on concerning the supped up remote control as well as any controversy which may have accompanied getting everyone back together after splitting up so foolishly.

"How was I supposed to predict something random like Higa?" said Inui defensively as if everyone had turned to him and become angry that he didn't know what was coming next.

"Well, let's just complete the mission and then be on our way to the next universe," said Hiyoshi as if the fact that Kai and Kite were standing right in front of him was NO BIG DEAL. After all, Kai played against Eiji when Eiji played singles! And Kite played against Tezuka after his surgery and was often referred to as the "Hitman"! Both of them often played dirty and assaulted the coach of Rokkaku! That was bound to create angry feelings all around! But clearly Hiyoshi has no respect for people who have personalities and potential for character development! That is SO like Hiyoshi!

"Aside from going to school here on this campus, what's the theme of this universe?" Jackal asked randomly.

"Does there have to be a theme besides going to school here?" questioned Kite.

"Every Universe has a theme," said Kamio. "The one I was in was basically a school setting, except we played soccer."

"Well, we play tennis," said Kai.

Everyone else clenched their fists dramatically and tried to keep themselves from passing out due to their extreme jealousy that their Higa counterparts appeared in a universe in which they got to play _COLLEGE TENNIS._

"Any information about this universe you have may aid us in our completion of the mission," Inui added once he got over his insane jealousy.

"I think it's pretty self explanatory," said Kai, gesturing to the campus around him. "We have literally not encountered any conflict aside from getting to class on time."

"That's lame," Shishido declared. "Choutarou and I had to be superheroes and fight bad guys while balancing our work schedule and maintaining secret identities. And all you guys had to do was sit around and go to class?"

"And play tennis?" Ryoma added, sounding a little outraged.

"And I had to be in a jousting tournament and almost marry a princess!" Taka said because he's still emotionally scarred from that experience, even if he does a good job hiding it.

"That doesn't sound too bad," Kai said, raising an eyebrow skeptically at Taka.

"Well, it WAS bad," said Eiji as he got all in Kai's face.

"No, Eiji, try to avoid confrontation," said Oishi as he held Eiji back from going back on his previous announcement that there was never a need for violence.

"Okay, Oishi, but only because you asked so nicely," said Eiji, still glaring at Kai who had a face which clearly conveyed, "I wasn't aware we had a grudge against one another."

"Have you guys encountered anyone else from Higa?" asked Kite.

"Obviously not," said Inui. "Do you see anyone standing in front of you who is on Higa?"

"Personally, I wanted to encounter more people from Shitenhouji," said Shiraishi, sounding somewhat defensive as if the others would have reason to believe that he wouldn't want anyone else from his own team to be discovered.

"Is there a chance that whatever mission we'll have to fulfill might have something to do with tennis?" asked Marui since he, like everyone else, was clearly itching to take a gander at _COLLEGE TENNIS_.

"As there is no other apparent conflict in this universe, there is actually a high probability," Inui remarked.

"Well, finals are also coming up," Kite said.

Everyone else groaned.

"What?" said Kite, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't tell us THAT!" whined Ryou randomly.

"Why?"

"If you have finals coming up then that might end up having something to do with our mission," Atsushi explained. "Tennis would be a much more interesting mission to partake in as opposed to helping you guys do well on your finals."

At that exact moment, Inui's remote beeped. Everyone was nervous about asking what the mission was because they went from being very excited about _COLLEGE TENNIS _to absolutely dreading the idea of finals.

Inui knew he would have to look at the screen eventually so he lifted it uneasily and read the mission. The others waited idly by to hear their fate, but Inui didn't look as though he was going to reveal to them what it said anytime soon. He only continued to stand there and look at the remote without any changing expression whatsoever.

"What is it?" Fuji finally said, irritated with waiting.

"I don't understand," Inui said. "This doesn't make any sense. It can't be possible."

"What is it?" everyone repeated.

Inui only turned the remote around so everyone could see the screen.

"_Defeat Atobe Sutefuani_," they all read as a gigantic odor.

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" shouted all the new people.

"DEAR GOD NO!" shouted all the old people.

"Ooohhh…" said Atobe as he daintily put rested the back of his hand against his forehead and fainted.

They used smelling salts to revive Atobe as Inui calmly tried to explain who Atobe Sutefuani was. Of course, he used the abridged version for once.

"So let me get this straight," said Saeki, the token spokesman for new people. "She was the captain of the boy's tennis team in Seigaku, so therefore Tezuka became captain of Hyoutei, which meant there was no more reason for Atobe to exist"—this made Atobe faint again, continuing his streak of being needlessly dramatic—"_and _Ryoma was in love with her."

"STILL in love with her!" Ryoma announced, passionately and wistfully looking up at the sky at the thought of his lost love.

"This creates so many conflicts with the space time continuum," Kirihara pointed out. "We killed her a second time in the Ninja Universe last time around. But we're in a universe which takes place _before _the Ninja Universe, and because time has reset since the beginning of our trip, then technically we haven't even been to the Ninja Universe yet, which means we haven't killed her a second time yet. Does that mean we're going to kill her a third time or a second time?"

But then Kirihara had to put a hand to his head because his brain hurt.

"Does the name sound familiar to either of you?" Inui said to Kai and Kite, ignoring Kirihara completely.

"We've never heard the name outside your story," said Kite.

"But that's real interesting the way you guys go around killing people," said Kai a little uneasily.

"You have no idea," said Oshitari, looking serious.

"Okay, this is what we're going to do," Shiraishi started, but everyone started clearing their throats and pretending not to notice him, attempting to start up as many random conversations as possible in order to steal his thunder.

Shiraishi stopped talking and looked at the others crossly. "Were you saying something?" Itsuki asked innocently.

"The hell, everyone?" demanded Shiraishi. "I have a good plan!"

"How about instead of listening to you, we listen to Inui?" Momo suggested.

"Thank you," said Inui. "I happen to have a better plan than whatever Shiraishi was about to suggest."

"I doubt it," said Shiraishi, crossing his arms.

"Um…" said Kai and Kite because they missed out on the origin of the passive aggressive anger towards Shiraishi.

"Maybe we should hear both plans?" Oishi suggested civilly, perhaps realizing that their actions towards Shiraishi weren't exactly wholly justified.

"How about we split into two groups and everyone who has faith in me can follow through with my plan and everyone who has faith in Inui can follow through with HIS plan?" Shiraishi said. "There are enough of us to do something like that."

Inui barely suppressed laughing in Shiraishi's face, but he kept himself from doing it at the last second to keep his stoic façade. "I'm just going to go out on a limb and say no thank you," he said instead.

"I don't like this disrespect everyone is showing me," said Shiraishi in a completely justified irritated voice. "I am the only captain here so therefore—"

"Um, hello, I'm a captain," said Atobe.

"And I am captain of Higa," Kite added.

"That only adds to my outrage," said Shiraishi. "Why do you let HIM make all the plans and the rules and dictate everything we do? Inui, do you have ANY captain-related authority on your tennis team?"

Inui stood there stone faced and then pointed at his massive hat. "I am a pirate captain," he said finally.

"I didn't think so," said Shiraishi. "I move for the creation of a Democracy instead of a Dictatorship in which we vote on the decisions as a group. Captains on each team get three votes, co-captains get two votes, any other teammates get one vote and freshmen get no votes."

"Hey!" said Ryoma.

"That would give almost all authority over to the three of you," said Inui, pointing at Kite, Atobe and Shiraishi. "And frankly, that is a poor choice. Two of you are new people who don't have very much experience in this universe hopping business, especially the captain of Higa, and then you're just Atobe, and that's poor choices all around."

"Excuse me?" said Atobe, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't think this is the definition of a Democracy," said Saeki.

"Besides, what kind of authority would Kentarou get?" pondered Bane. "He's a freshman so he'd get no votes, but he's also a captain, so he should get three votes."

"He can have one and a half votes," Shiraishi decided.

"Maybe the person whose abilities are exploited the most should have the most authority!" said Shishido randomly as if that pertained to anything anyone was saying.

"Enough, all of you," Inui ordered. "I refuse to permit this revolt to progress any further. We have a mission we have to complete. Even though the timeline is messed up, Atobe Sutefuani will know who we are so she will know what to expect. We have to catch her by surprise, otherwise she will anticipate our motives to kill her."

"Well, could you guys do this on your own because we have a tennis-related activity to attend to in a few minutes," said Kai, looking at his watch.

"We can start there," said Inui. "The first time we encountered Atobe Sutefuani, she was a tennis player."

"Or we can take a vote and decide what we're going to do," Shiraishi said.

"Why, is there another option to what we're going to do?" Inui questioned irritably.

"Yes, we should follow Shishido's plan and exploit Ootori's powers again!" Shiraishi announced.

"That sounds much easier than Inui's plan…" David whispered to Bane.

"It doesn't sound easier for _me_," said Choutarou with a sigh.

"And I wasn't suggesting that!" Shishido insisted.

"HEY!" came a loud, but annoyingly familiar voice from across the campus. Everyone cringed, especially Atobe (but not Ryoma because his heart went aflutter), when they turned around to see the Mary-Sue originally from the Mary-Sue Universe last time around.

She looked basically the same. In fact, everyone sort of expected her to suddenly be college aged, but they found she was still the age of a seventh grader because, as it turns out, Atobe Sutefuani is just THAT wonderful and THAT good at tennis that she skipped like twenty grades and was enrolled in college. And, of course, since she's so good at tennis, she was put on the BOYS tennis team and was by far the best on the team.

"I can't believe you all followed me to a new universe just to challenge me again!" Atobe Sutefuani said in a voice which was like silver and velvet and caramel and various other descriptive words.

"OH NOEZ!" everyone yelled.

"Why didn't you tell us she was on your tennis team?" Taka questioned of Kai and Kite.

"She's not," Kite said.

"She must be from the away team," Inui concluded as he faced everyone. "Let's put the revolt aside and get back to it later when we're in a less perilous situation."

"That's what you said last time in the Zombie Universe and you never got back to it," said Shiraishi.

"Well, of course _I _wouldn't bring it up," said Inui with an animated frown.

"The first thing we're going to discuss after killing her is this revolt," Shiraishi said.

"Whatever," said Inui, rolling his eyes but of course no one could see.

Atobe Sutefuani started walking towards them but Inui decided to take it upon himself to start off the mortal combat so he unloaded his single gunshot at her. Even though Inui doesn't miss, he did of course, because Atobe Sutefuani did a Matrix dodge.

"Holy crap…" said Kai and Kite simultaneously in response the sudden burst of violence.

Everyone else shook their heads at the newbies who were new to violence and murder.

"Anyone else feel free to attack her," said Inui.

"I'll get her!" said Shishido, taking his spear from his belt but he was stopped by Oshitari.

"This happened last time and you only ended up making out with her," Oshitari said in a tone which sounded like a scold.

"Oh yeah…" said Shishido, looking ashamed of himself.

"Leave it to the professionals," said Oshitari. Of course, everyone thought Oshitari was referring to murder, but as it turned out, they soon discovered he was referring to making out. He promptly grabbed Atobe Sutefuani, spun her around and then dipped her down in a ridiculously dramatic fashion and proceeded to get to work.

Atobe tried not to be TOO turned on by this. In fact, most other people were barely refraining from being turned on.

"Enough of this," Fuji said with an exasperated sigh as he reached out and grabbed both Atobe Sutefunai and Oshitari and then practically twisted their heads right off, killing them in seconds.

"HOLY CRAP!" Kai and Kite were now shouting.

"Fuji, stop killing people!" said Eiji.

"They are seriously the first people I've killed _yet_," Fuji pointed out.

"Oshitari kind of had it coming to him," Shishido said with a shrug.

"At least no one else got killed," Choutarou said optimistically.

"HOLLLLLYYYYY CRRRRRAAAAPPP!!!" Kai and Kite were a little stressed out.

"Stop it!" Atobe commanded as he slapped them around, barely suppressing the urge to just kill them off.

"Someone explain things to them," Hiyoshi tried.

"They're slightly hysterical right now," Inui said, raising the remote and checking to see that it said COMPLETE. "It might be easiest to just show them."

He pressed the button which transported them out of the College Tennis Universe and dropped them off in the middle of a forest. At first, they were disappointed that they ended up another forest, but then Momo happily exclaimed, "Ninja Universe!" so they instantly became wary of their surroundings.

"Holy…crap?" said Kai and Kite, pointing at Oshitari who was standing there as if he wasn't just murdered.

"Uh…what?" said Oshitari, looking around.

"So, as you can see, it's fake deaths," said Momo.

"Oooohhhh," they said with nods.

"So, back to our revolt…" Shiraishi led.

"Now really isn't the time," said Inui. "We're in the Ninja Universe. There are probably ninjas planning to attack us right now. We have to—"

Inui suddenly felt a pain in his neck, so he put a hand on the spot and pulled something out, discovering, quite to his dismay, a little red needle.

"Aw man."


	57. Silver and Platinum

Chapter 57- Silver and Platinum

The ninjas shot their sleeping needles at everyone, but there were several kinks in the plan. This time around, Choutarou had his powers so the needle just bounced off him. He took it upon himself to rescue Shishido from getting shot as well, though did not concern himself with any of the others.

At first, the ninjas came out to fight them, but once they realized their needles had no effect on two other people, namely Niou and Yagyuu, they decided to retreat. Even ninjas know how to recognize zombies.

"Well, as long as they're all dead, we might as well," said Niou, gesturing towards all the people lying around them.

"Might as well what?" said Shishido, raising an eyebrow.

"…Eat their brains?" said Yagyuu.

"They're not dead, they're just sleeping," said Choutarou.

"Oh," said Niou and Yagyuu as they looked longingly at their potential yummies.

"What should we do?" said Shishido, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. He eyed Inui and then pulled the remote out of his hand. "You think we should find Jirou and Gakuto and complete the mission ourselves?"

"Maybe we'd be able to complete it before any of them even wake up!" said Choutarou. "It could be like a challenge! Like Supermarket Sweep!"

"We don't want to do that," Niou sort of whined.

"Too bad," said Shishido. "You have to help us."

"We'll probably just get in your way," Yagyuu reasoned. "We'll stay here and—um—guard everyone."

"Yeah right!" said Shishido. "You'll just eat their brains while we're gone!"

"No we won't!" Niou said but he didn't sound convincing enough to satisfy Shishido.

And so the four of them went trekking through the woods to find the ninja monastery, leaving everyone unconscious in the woods, Niou and Yagyuu complaining the whole way.

"So where did we leave Gakuto and Jirou when we left this universe last time?" Choutarou pondered thoughtfully.

"I don't think much happened," said Shishido. "We DID kill that guy they were trying to get to be on their side. But other than that, I don't think anything would have happened which would have gotten them in trouble."

"WHY was everyone excited about going to this universe?" demanded Niou as he tripped over a fallen tree, accidentally impaling himself through the chest on a branch. The branch was thick enough not to break off, so he flailed foolishly as he was stuck to the fallen tree, practically face planted in the ground.

"That is _gross_," said Shishido.

"You know, if you weren't already dead, that simple trip would have killed you," Choutarou observed.

"Help me up!" Niou ordered.

Choutarou and Shishido did not appear excited to follow through with this request and instead just chose to stand there and look uneasy. Yagyuu realized he was the only one who would help his best friend ever, so he leaned over and grabbed Niou by the shoulders, trying to simply pull him off the branch.

Unfortunately, Niou must have been much more attached to the branch than either of them originally assumed, and Yagyuu ended up dislocating from both of his arms and flying backwards, now completely detached from his arms.

"OH NO!" shouted Choutarou and Shishido as they barely suppressed the urge to run away screaming.

"If you guys had just helped, then I would still have my arms," said Yagyuu as if the fact that he had no arms was a minor inconvenience.

"Maybe we should just leave them behind," Choutarou said to Shishido. "If they end up eating someone's brains, it will all reset later, won't it?"

"Now it's just the principle of the thing!" said Shishido stubbornly as he picked up a stick and started poking Niou as if that was helping at all. "Come on, get up! We have to go to the ninja monastery and get back to the others quickly so we can get our mission!"

"I have an idea," said Niou as he hit the stick away but was still firmly attached to the tree. "One of you could stay behind to make sure we won't eat anyone's brains, even though we WON'T, and the other one can go to the ninja place. You both have super powers, don't you?"

"Shh!" said Choutarou, feeling bad for Shishido because he didn't have any powers.

"It's all right, Choutarou," said Shishido but he was clearly fighting back his tears. "We're ALL going to the monastery so just get used to the idea."

"Well, someone still has to get me off this then," Niou pointed out.

Finally, Choutarou obliged even though it grossed him out so much. He detached Niou from the branch in the ground and flew off to the nearest lake to clean himself, then returned seconds later. Since no one else would do it, Niou picked up Yagyuu's arms and carried them just like a doubles partner should do.

"It's just a little up ahead," said Choutarou since he was clearly using one of his powers to scope out the location of ninja monasteries.

They peeked through a bush to see there were a bunch of ninjas training in front of the large complex. Unfortunately, none of them were Jirou or Gakuto.

"We have to be careful not to do anything too dramatic here," said Shishido. "After all, Choutarou, you were Oishi's manservant last time around."

"WHAT?" said Niou and Yagyuu immediately.

"The ninjas discriminate against tall people," Choutarou said.

"So that means they'll probably discriminate against us too," Yagyuu reasoned.

"They'd probably discriminate against you guys anyway because you're ZOMBIES," said Shishido as if someone might have forgotten in the past few seconds.

"Stop hating on us," said Yagyuu.

"Don't worry, Shishido, they won't be able to push me around this time," said Choutarou. "I didn't have my superpowers last time, but this time I'm not so unlucky."

"Let's make sure Jirou and Gakuto are even here," said Shishido, whipping a pair of high tech binoculars out from his utility belt and scanning the area.

"Where else would they be?" questioned Niou.

"They go on missions a lot," Shishido said. "It would be really inconvenient if they just left for a mission and we had to wait for them to get back."

He took off the binoculars disappointedly and was about to offer Niou and Yagyuu a look, but then he decided against it and put his binoculars back in his utility belt. He looked down at the remote and started hitting random buttons.

"If we do a good job completing this mission, maybe they'll put us in charge of making decisions," Choutarou suggested. "That way, everyone will stop fighting over who gets to be in charge."

"You could easily be in charge if you just threatened to super punch everyone," said Niou as he hit Yagyuu's two arms together. Yagyuu only looked at Niou with an irritated expression on his face that clearly said, "Just carry my arms, don't do anything with them." Yes, it seems strange to have an expression which only conveys that extremely specific command, but don't judge them.

"If I had super powers instead of being a zombie, I would definitely make sure I was in charge of everything," Yagyuu said.

"Well, it's a good thing you don't have super powers then," said Shishido.

Choutarou cleared his throat to get Shishido's attention. "Shishido, you were accepted in their ninja monastery for a little while, right?"

"Oh, cause you're short, eh?" said Niou.

"I'm not short!" said Shishido. "I am average heightened for someone my age!"

"You're short," said Niou.

"That wasn't what I was getting at!" said Choutarou. "My point is that maybe they'd let you approach and ask about Jirou and Gakuto!"

"Good point, Choutarou," said Shishido. "Those ninjas out there probably know where Jirou and Gakuto are. After all, they're princes or something."

"What? They're princes AND ninjas?" Niou demanded.

"Will you two try to keep up?" Shishido said impatiently.

"You didn't explain anything to us," Yagyuu said.

"You should have just left us behind," Niou added wistfully.

"Do you think they'll recognize me, Choutarou?" said Shishido, trying to ignore Rikkai Dai. "It's been a few weeks and I was only part of their monastery for a few days after all."

"Don't worry, we're here to back you up," said Yagyuu sarcastically.

"Choutarou?" said Shishido.

"I think they will, Shishido," said Choutarou, also attempting to ignore Rikkai Dai, but finding he was failing in that respect.

"If they try to capture you, then we'll jump out and scare them!" said Niou as he waved Yagyuu's arms around a little bit. Yagyuu kicked Niou and reminded him to stop abusing the extra limbs.

"Shhhh!" said the Silver Pair.

"WHAT?" demanded the Platinum Pair.

Both pairs glared at each other.

"Try not to super punch them while I'm gone, Choutarou," said Shishido, dramatically removing his glasses and placing them in his pocket.

"I would never super punch anyone who didn't deserve it, Shishido…" said Choutarou.

"You super punched me," Yagyuu reminded him.

"Yeah well…" Choutarou trailed off because he didn't really have anything to say other than "You're a zombie, hence, you deserve it" and his mom always told him that if he didn't have anything nice to say then he shouldn't say anything at all.

Shishido got his ninja on, diving out into the open and rolling behind a tree. The real ninjas didn't seem to notice as they continued with their training and Shishido went to the wall of the monastery and peeked inside. He didn't see anyone in that particular room so he decided it would be the best place to enter and infiltrate.

While he had been accepted into the ninja clan, Shishido had never actually been inside the monastery so, once he was there, he felt a little silly. He was just about to go ninjaing down the hall, when Choutarou suddenly appeared next to him, causing him to almost scream like a little girl.

"Sorry to frighten you, Shishido!" said Choutarou.

"Choutarou, it's not between nine and ten o'clock!" said Shishido. "How did you teleport?"

"I didn't teleport," said Choutarou. "I just turned invisible and then walked through the wall."

"Oh," said Shishido, feeling secretly jealous. "You just left the zombies out there?"

"Uh…yeah," Choutarou said, looking a little ashamed.

"Good," said Shishido.

"Oh, okay!" said Choutarou, now happy that he made Shishido happy.

"Let's go find Jirou and Gakuto to have a Hyoutei reunion," said Shishido.

They peeked out the doorway into the hallway, resembling the most ultra lame two headed totem pole ever. There was no in the hallway so quickly stealthed out, each facing different directions so they could cover each other's backs. Shishido approached the first door and peeked inside, then gestured for Choutarou to follow so they both ran in.

"Oh, I recognize this room!" said Choutarou. "This is the bridal suite."

They both tried to muffle laughter upon remembering that their teammates were married to Fuji and Oishi.

"This means that Jirou and Gakuto will probably come back here eventually," Shishido decided once he was over his uncontrollable chuckling.

"If they're still in the monastery, then they'll come back here to sleep," Choutarou reasoned. "If we wait until night, then they'll come here."

"So we should wait here, then," Shishido decided.

"What if the ninjas go back and get everyone else by then?" Choutarou asked. "Shouldn't we go back and protect them while they're all asleep?"

Shishido was extremely reluctant at this notion but he eventually agreed. "I was hoping there would be a way to finish this mission without having to go back there at all."

"Well, we need to all be together in order to even receive the mission," Choutarou shrugged. "We'd have to go back there anyway."

"I guess you're right," said Shishido, looking at the remote to see the number had gone down by two so it was now 19 instead of the original 21 when he had first picked it up. "Choutarou! They're here! We should bring them back with us!"

"Where are they?" Choutarou said, looking around.

"INTRUDERS!" came the bellowing voices of a bunch of ninjas who were standing the doorway, all pointing dramatically at Shishido and Choutarou who were just standing there in the middle of the room foolishly.

The Silver Pair felt as though they were justified in dealing out non-lethal blows in order to defend themselves. Once the handful of ninjas were disposed of, they curiously looked around in search of Jirou and Gakuto, for some reason assuming that they had to be among the ninjas even though they were just attacked.

"Shishido, over here!" Choutarou called as he went into the hallway, pointing at something which was clearly interesting enough for Shishido's precious attention.

Shishido came out as well and discovered what—or rather _who_—Choutarou was pointing to; Jirou and Gakuto! Unfortunately, they were both sitting on the floor and were tied up.

Fortunately, that situation was easily fixed.

"How embarrassing!" Jirou exclaimed.

"No more embarrassing than what you two are wearing!" Gakuto announced.

Shishido hit Gakuto over the head. "We just saved you and the first thing you do is insult us!" he said, comforting Choutarou who looked truly hurt.

"I guess I'm just frustrated…" Gakuto admitted. "Our evil uncle has usurped our father's power in the monastery and has implemented his own rules and laws on our people!"

"Imprisoning us in the process, not even bothering to ask us if we wanted to join him just because we're the sons of his enemy!" Jirou added. "We've been forced to do things like _clean_ and junk!"

"Oh no?" said Choutarou confusedly.

"It's been much worse than Jirou is implying," Gakuto said, throwing his fellow ninja a glare. "Oh yeah, and it sucks pretty hardcore that we're even in this universe again to begin with, but any fun it MIGHT have been is totally ruined because of the ninja uprising! Unacceptable!"

"I agree," Choutarou decided.

"Come on, let's get you guys back to the others so we can get our mission," said Shishido since shaking the remote in hopes the rules would change wasn't working.

"The sooner we get out of here the better," said Gakuto, crossing his arms like a spoiled child, but maybe he just in a bad mood because he hadn't seen Oshitari in a while…


	58. Politics

Chapter 58- Politics

"WTF?" said Jirou and Gakuto at the same time as they pointed at the sheer volume of people who were still unconscious in the forest, and then pointed in particular at Saeki simply because he was the first one they saw. If Saeki was awake, then he would have cried.

"Oh yeah, we forgot about Niou and Yagyuu," said Choutarou to Shishido.

"Niou and Yagyuu are zombies," said Shishido to Jirou and Gakuto.

"Wait, why are there so many people here?" Gakuto questioned specifically since Shishido and Choutarou clearly weren't catching on to their confusion expressed so intelligently with internet slang.

"Oh yeah," said Shishido. "Well, it's like last time. But this time, we got a bunch of new people."

"Yeah, that's a bit of an understatement," said Gakuto, slapping his forehead.

"What is this?" said Jirou with grand gestures. "Shitenhouji? _HIGA?_"

"Why Higa?" said Gakuto.

"It's not like we chose who would be coming along," said Shishido.

"We still forgot Niou and Yagyuu," Choutarou reminded everyone.

"They're here too?" said Gakuto as if he had anything against them but he had pretty much convinced himself that he had something against everyone who wasn't part of the original core group.

"Yeah," said Shishido.

Shishido and Choutarou looked at each other as if they were trying to decide whether they should tell Gakuto and Jirou about them being zombies or if it would be more hilarious to surprise them. Eventually, they decided it would be more hilarious to surprise them.

"Let's go back and get them…" said Choutarou, trying to keep himself from telling the secret.

"Yeah…let's…" said Shishido in an equally suspicious and childish manner.

So, a few minutes later, the hodgepodge group of Hyoutei members was standing behind a tree, approaching where Yagyuu and Niou were still sitting in the same place. Niou was hitting Yagyuu with his own arm. "Quit hitting yourself," Niou said.

"I am going to hurt you," Yagyuu warned.

"ZOMBIES!!!" Jirou suddenly shouted as he jumped out into the open and pointed directly at them. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" yelled Yagyuu and Niou because they were surprised.

"SHHHH!" hissed Shishido and Choutarou as they leapt atop Jirou to cover his mouth. After all, the ninja monastery was right there.

But, thankfully, Gakuto was still free to freak out. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he yelled, taking Jirou's place in pointing at the zombies.

"Geez, stop it," said Yagyuu and Niou because they weren't surprised anymore.

Apparently, their screaming was enough to gain the attention of the ninjas who had been training in the front yard.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled the ninjas in a tactless manner.

"STOP IT," said Yagyuu and Niou.

So they all engaged in mortal combat, the ninjas against various members of Hyoutei. Niou and Yagyuu lurched around as if they were trying to get in the way, often accidentally crashing into people and frightening them, creating outrageously ridiculous situations which were totally unnecessary.

When the ninjas were finally defeated, everyone took a moment to calm down.

Except Jirou who took it upon himself to re-instigate the shouting match with, "ZOMBIES!!" He surely would have screamed again if not for the fact that Shishido and Choutarou covered his mouth AGAIN.

"Don't you think it would have been helpful to mention that they're zombies while we were walking up here?" Gakuto demanded as the small group tromped back towards where everyone else was still lying around unconscious.

"We didn't think you two would have such vocal reactions," Shishido admitted.

"My arms are normally attached to my body," Yagyuu said as if it was a reason to brag.

"Just don't get in my line of vision again and maybe I'll be able to recover from this emotional scarring," said Jirou, putting his hands on either side of his face like blinders.

"I hope you all die in a fire," Niou announced. "I hope _everyone _dies in a fire!"

"Well, that's harsh…" said Choutarou.

When they reached the clearing, tensions were high. And it certainly didn't help when Niou boldly leaned over to Jirou who was sitting awkwardly, and remarked, "So, sources tell us that you're the best choice for a meal."

Jirou whined uneasily and looked around for support but no one wanted to say anything because they didn't want to even contribute to a conversation which involved eating people.

"You guys really said you would try to refrain from eating people's brains," said Choutarou, sounding disappointed that they would go back on their word as opposed to angry that they would entertain the notion of devouring Jirou. "It doesn't seem to me like you're trying."

"How about everyone stops judging us?" Niou suggested. "How about that?"

"But you were talking about eating my brains!" Jirou complained. "It's bad enough that Renji wanted to suck my blood all the time! Frankly, I'm tired of it! It's not fair that—"

"Hang on, shut up," Shishido commanded as he held up the remote. Jirou dejectedly looked down because he was in the middle of pouring his heart and soul out to a random group of people and now he was stifled. "We've got the mission!"

"What is it?" Gakuto asked.

Shishido had to admit that he felt powerful while he was holding the remote because everyone was paying attention to him. Then again, people pay attention to him a lot because he either turns evil or gets kidnapped or dies and they have to somehow fix it, but he clearly wasn't considering that. In the end, he speculated HE would make the best leader!

And that, my friends, is his reasoning for what he said next.

"We should complete this mission before all the others wake up!" Shishido announced.

"What IS the mission?" Gakuto repeated. "I don't want to have to do work!"

"We have to return the power of the monastery to the rightful ruler!" Shishido said. "That shouldn't be any trouble!"

"Why shouldn't that be any trouble?" Gakuto demanded. "Our evil uncle is conniving and cruel! He swayed all the ninjas to his side after that whole controversy with Lord Quentin didn't end over well and he convinced everyone that our father was not a worthy leader if he couldn't convince someone to join our plight! And—"

At this point, it looked like Gakuto was getting a little overemotional so Jirou comforted him.

"I think you guys might be a little overinvested in this universe," Yagyuu decided finally.

"You wouldn't be able to understand…" Gakuto said wistfully.

"Okay, let's brainstorm how we'll be able to do this," Choutarou suggested.

"Can we complete this mission without blowing up ninja monasteries?" Jirou asked politely.

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Choutarou commented.

"I try," said Jirou as he figuratively brushed some dirt off his shoulder.

"How are we going to convince all the ninjas to go back to supporting the REAL Ninja Lord though?" questioned Gakuto. "If Yuushi was awake, I bet he'd have a plan."

Gakuto looked longingly over at the pile of unconscious people.

"I'm sure we can think up a totally sufficient plan," said Shishido.

"What if we killed the evil uncle?" Niou tried. "That way, the ninjas wouldn't really have a choice of who to support."

The others stared at him. "You really eased well into the idea of killing people as the first resort," said Jirou with a raised eyebrow.

"Well if he's evil, I don't see what the issue is," said Niou, crossing his arms. He also crossed Yagyuu's arms just for kicks.

"Let's try to do this diplomatically," Choutarou tried.

"I've got it!" said Gakuto, hitting his fist into his palm. "If we challenged our evil uncle to a duel and then proved our strength, then he would have no choice but to acknowledge us as the superior ninjas, and therefore the other ninjas would pick to follow US!"

"Would you be able to defeat your evil uncle?" Shishido asked.

"Of course!" Gakuto snapped. "I'm the greatest ninja in the entire monastery!"

Jirou abruptly cleared his throat.

"Excuse me?" said Gakuto. "You have something to say?"

"I just thought I misheard you for a second there," said Jirou. "I think you just said that _you _were the greatest ninja in the monastery."

"You didn't mishear me. That's what I said."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really."

"Well then I challenge you to a Ninja Duel!"

"I accept!"

"No, no, no," said Choutarou as he took both Gakuto and Jirou by their collars, lifted them up off the ground and physically separated them. "We don't have time to be fighting amongst ourselves!" They swung their fists wildly at each other but Choutarou's super strength would not allow either of them to make contact. "Shishido, do something!"

"Guys, stop fighting!" Shishido commanded as if his word meant anything.

"How about we settle this the easiest way?" Yagyuu said. "Who's older?"

"_I _am!" said Jirou, glaring at Gakuto. But his glare looked pretty ridiculous because he's JIROU.

"That doesn't prove anything!" Gakuto argued.

"Why don't you both just agree that you're both equally strong as each other, get over yourselves and hurry up to complete this mission?" Niou practically ordered.

"Well said, Niou," said Yagyuu.

"We sure are good at conflict resolution," Niou decided.

"Fine, you can challenge our evil uncle," said Gakuto, looking annoyed. Choutarou took this agreement as indication that it was okay to finally put them down. "But when you lose to him, then it'll be me who swoops in and saves the day!"

"Don't bother waiting for your chance!" said Jirou. "I've got it covered!"

They both scoffed and refused to look at each other.

"Well, now that that's settled, I suppose we should head back to the monastery," Choutarou said.

"Do we have to come this time?" said Niou, sounding whiny.

"Yes, you have to come," Shishido said. "You've already expressed little or no self control when it comes to eating brains that are readily available."

"But if this plan fails then we'll have to come back here," Yagyuu pointed out. "You clearly don't have any concept of how difficult it is to hike through forests as a zombie."

"No, have no experience with that," said Shishido.

"Shishido, maybe we should let them stay," Choutarou said reasonably. "If they PROMISE not to eat anyone."

"We promise," Niou and Yagyuu chimed.

"And, if you MUST eat someone, then eat Kirihara," Shishido added. "Or Shiraishi. Or both."

"Well now you've just given us an open invitation to eat someone," said Yagyuu.

"I'm getting mixed messages!" Niou whined.

"Just don't eat anyone!" Gakuto said.

"Fine…" said the Platinum Pair reluctantly.

So Choutarou, Shishido, Gakuto and Jirou began their hike back to the monastery where they would hopefully encounter the convenient opportunity of challenging the evil uncle to a Ninja Duel.


	59. Ninja Battle

Chapter 59- Ninja Battle

Inui woke up from his forced slumber at the sound of people yelling at each other. His first thought was that people were arguing over who would get to be in charge and make the decisions, but once he oriented himself, he discovered that the person who was yelling was Kirihara, and his yelling was directed towards Niou and Yagyuu, and everyone else who happened to be awake by then were only sitting idly by looking bored with the argument.

"And THAT is why it is unacceptable!" Kirihara finished and surprisingly, his upperclassmen teammates were looking mightily ashamed of themselves for whatever they were just scolded for.

"What is going on here?" Inui intervened, feeling as though he belonged in every conversation.

"It's a good thing I regained consciousness when I did, because when I opened my eyes, these two were standing over me, ready to eat my brain!" Kirihara announced in a voice which suggested he was tattling.

"Is this true?" Inui said crossly.

"Yes, it's true," chimed everyone who had already heard the tattle several times.

"But those guys from Hyoutei said it would be okay to eat Kirihara," Yagyuu said defensively.

Inui stared at Yagyuu and Niou and then shook his head. "You know, I don't feel as though this even really needs to be discussed," he said. "You two know what you did wrong. Let's move onto more important matters."

"More important matters?" demanded Kirihara. "What could be more important than the potential that my teammates were getting ready to eat my brain? What is more important than discussing _my life_?"

"Plenty," said Kaidou. He got a few high fives for that one.

"What people from Hyoutei were you talking about?" Inui said to Yagyuu.

"If I might interject at this point," Atobe said, standing up. "Shishido and Ootori are missing."

"We could have told you that," said Niou, looking annoyed.

"Oh, and the two ninjas," Yagyuu added.

"What?" said Atobe. "You found Jirou and Gakuto already?"

"Yeah, you guys have been unconscious for a while," said Yagyuu as he shrugged his stumpy armless shoulders. "We all went to the monastery, came back from the monastery, and then they left again."

"How long ago was that?" said Inui.

"A couple of hours," said Niou.

"Why were they going back to the monastery?" Inui questioned.

"We weren't really listening," Yagyuu admitted. "Something about tall people."

"And…ninjas or something," Niou added.

"That is very unhelpful," Inui said.

"I make a motion to head to that ninja monastery," Shiraishi declared since he was also awake. "We will find our answers there."

"Good idea," said Inui. "You may lead the team to go."

The world screeched to a halt in response to Inui's comment.

"You're agreeing with me?" Shiraishi said suspiciously.

"What?" said Inui. "I recognize a good plan when I see one."

Inui had one of the best poker faces around so Shiraishi was not about to get any information out of staring him down.

"All right…" Shiraishi decided finally, still feeling cautious. "Who wants to go with me?"

"Oishi, maybe you should go since you're married to Gakuto after all," said Eiji with a twinge of jealousy in his voice.

"HUH?" said anyone who was unsavvy to that information.

"Long story short, DON'T EVER MENTION THAT," said Fuji.

"Yeah, come on, Eiji," said Oishi, trying his hardest to remain patient. "Just please don't bring up things related to the fact that I'm a girl or anything else which clearly makes me uncomfortable but you choose to bring up constantly anyway."

"I was just trying to be helpful, Oishi!" wept Eiji.

"If I may," said Inui, raising his hand in Shiraishi's direction, indicating he was not interested in Oishi and Eiji's conversation but was, in fact, interested and progressing forward with the plan. "I have suggestions in order to improve upon your plan. I can recommend certain people accompany you to the monastery."

"I'll allow it," said Shiraishi, now feeling perhaps a little too empowered.

"Momo, Eiji, Kirihara and Hiyoshi would be the ideal group for you to lead," Inui said.

"That's right," said Momo. "Because we're part of the ninja monastery!"

"Exactly," said Inui.

"That sounds acceptable to me," said Shiraishi. "It's not as though I prefer anyone's company over another considering you're all on teams other than Shitenhouji."

"I thought we had bonded," said Saeki, looking dejected.

"Well, Rokkaku seems great and everything, but it's definitely not my bag," Shiraishi said.

"All right, fine…" said Saeki, still dejected. His teammates comforted him, including the newly re-inducted member of the team, Atsushi.

"Let's go, team!" Shiraishi declared.

"YEAH!" cheered Eiji and Momo. Kirihara didn't look too excited, but he really just wanted to get away from the zombies so he mounted Forehand and went with the others. As for Hiyoshi, we all know he has no personality so therefore he didn't feel anything on the matter and just went wherever he was instructed to go.

After the small team had left, Oshitari cleared his throat.

"So, I wasn't going to say anything because I figured—"

"You figured correctly," said Inui.

"Aha, so you purposely sent Shiraishi up there with a bunch of short people who are already part of the monastery," said Oshitari with a nod.

"Secretly knowing that they would just look at Shiraishi and discriminate against him based on his tallness and throw him in prison," Atobe finished.

"Precisely," said Inui.

"Inui, that is fairly brilliant," said Taka. "And I almost gave it away."

"How so?"

"I was going to say, Hey, he's pretty tall, so maybe he shouldn't go."

"I'm glad you said nothing," said Inui since he was practically on the verge of rubbing his hands together diabolically.

"What will having him thrown in a jail for a day prove?" asked Kamio.

"It will prove to him that his inexperience is reason enough to stop bothering attempting to relinquish decision making authority I have to anyone except me," said Inui. "Everyone knows that I am perfectly open to hearing other people's ideas, but it takes a complex mind to establish if that idea is good, not a ludicrous voting system."

"The voting system was rather ludicrous," Atobe agreed. "Even though it would obviously give me an unnecessary amount of power."

"Okay, hang on a second," said Kai. You know, that guy from Higa. "How about everyone takes a few minutes out of their day to describe what fake killing is?"

"We're still rather traumatized from that," Kite agreed.

"What is there to know?" asked Ryoma. "If someone dies, then they just come back to life when we go to the next universe. You saw it happen to Oshitari."

"Why did that even happen?" Oshitari questioned as he looked around for the perpetrator for whoever killed him.

Fuji cleverly averted eyes and no one was about to implicate him because they feared he might murder them too. Oshitari's pretty quick, so he caught on who the murderer was and then decided to just let it go. After all, he did pretty much deserve some kind of reaction for what he was doing to the Mary-Sue. I don't know if KILLING is what he deserved, but something along those lines.

"Is there anything else you need explained to you?" Marui asked.

"You're not someone who is capable of explaining things," said Atobe, looking a little offended.

"I think I've been doing this universe hopping business for long enough to know the ropes," Marui declared.

"That is one hundred percent incorrect," said Atobe. "Team Higa, if either of you have any questions, then it would be best to ask anyone who is dressed as pirate, dressed as a knight or is black and white. Or Kirihara. Those are the people who have been enduring this torture the longest and therefore, they are the experts."

"I've been around for a while at this point," Saeki said. "Though I guess I didn't go on your original adventure."

"Yeah, what exactly is the established cut off time for this supposed experience which is discussed?" Oishi said

"Never mind," said Atobe. "Ask anyone except me. I don't care enough to answer."

"Fine," said Kai and Kita as they looked around for anyone who wanted to be helpful, but quickly found that no one wanted to bother.

"But, HMMMMMM," said Inui in quite an elevated tone which showed he was just trying to get attention. Everyone looked and waited for him to continue since he clearly wanted to, and he finally did, "Niou and Yagyuu. You said it has been several hours since the others left to go to the monastery. What could be the reason—"

He stopped immediately because he happened to feel the pocket where he usually kept the remote to find it wasn't there. He was going to have a mini heart attack and probably drop dead right then and there, but he opted for a more intelligent reaction.

Instead, he inquired, "Where is the remote?"

"They took it with them to the monastery," said Yagyuu.

"Yeah, we got the mission because we brought the two ninjas back here," Niou added. "It was something about the Lion King. And ninjas."

"I would watch that movie," said Marui definitively.

"You are still being unhelpful," Inui informed the zombies of Rikkai Dai. "What was the mission?"

"We JUST TOLD YOU," said Niou and Yagyuu IN SYNCHRO!!!

"Since the first group will undoubtedly be apprehended, we have to send a new group to the monastery," Atobe declared, sounding quite sure of himself.

"No, we have to stop sending people off into different groups," said Inui. "It will be impossible to keep track of all these groups so, for now, we all have to stay together."

"Can I go to the ninja monastery?" Marui asked, raising his hand. "I'm basically a ninja and I'm short."

"What did I JUST say?" Inui said in a tone which suggested he actually wanted Marui to answer.

"It's all right, Marui," said Jackal. "I think you'd make a great ninja. Better than Kirihara, anyway."

"I think I'd make a better ninja than Kirihara too," said Marui, crossing his arms childishly. When Marui looked like he was going to fail at life by telling this to Inui, he was only instructed to talk to the hand by his peer.

But, still, the group only had to stand around in silence for another few seconds when they heard a twig snap behind them. When they turned around, they discovered basically a legion of vertically challenged ninjas standing there and retrospectively wondered how they all ended up facing the wrong direction to detect these ninjas approach. But, then again, they ARE ninjas.

"OH SNAP!" The ninjas didn't actually SAY this, but their faces certainly did. In fact, they looked so fergilicious that even our heroes were tempted to say OH SNAP as well. Luckily, they refrained. The last thing we need to do is encourage them.

"No one make any sudden movements," Inui said.

"Why not?" said Oshitari, looking annoyed as he reached for his gun.

"I think they may be inclined to open a discussion," Inui said, using way more words than he had to.

"I'm not willing to give them the chance," said Oshitari as he fired his gun a few times, but the ninjas appeared unaffected.

In fact, Atobe was quite disgruntled by Oshitari's inability to hit the ninjas so he too joined in.

Finally, Yagyuu and Niou made an observation that they were being shot many times.

"Stop shooting us!" Niou commanded.

"_What_," said Atobe and Oshitari as they angrily discovered that the zombies were the most evil beings present at the moment.

The ninjas appeared a little surprised by these sudden gunshots, but they weren't shot so perhaps they didn't see it as a threat and probably more like a demonstration.

"We demand to know the meaning of this magic!" said the ninja in the front since he was clearly in charge. "What kind of sorcery can raise the dead?" Then he gestured towards the two zombies who only looked annoyed that people couldn't just ignore them.

"Really?" said Fuji. "That's your first and only question?"

The ninja looked like he was about to respond, but then he gasped out loud, and was quickly echoed by the other ninjas. They all whipped out their weapons and looked a hundred times more threatening than before.

"You invade our monastery, you raise our dead and now you steal our women!" shouted the ninja. "You will die for these crimes!"

"Aw geez," said Oishi, slamming his face into his palm.

"CHARGE!" shouted the ninja in the front as all the other ninjas did just as they were told and charged towards the large group of people standing idly by.

What ensued was the most hardcore ninja-related battle ever, which is saying a lot if you consider everything ninja-related. Various people were able to contribute to the fight, like Shinji with various spells, Marui and Jackal with their fighting abilities coupled with special moves, and of course Taka with his BURNING!mode. For the most part, however, people were fairly useless when it came to fighting ninjas.

It seemed as though the ninjas had a previously established plan that "CHARGE" really only meant "DISTRACT THEM WHILE I RETRIEVE FUJI AND OISHI!" because that happened.

"Oh no," observed everyone absentmindedly, but they couldn't take much time out of their epic battle.

At first, Inui was going to quickly devise a plan to send certain people to go rescue Fuji and Oishi, but then he waved his hand at them and said WHATEVER, figuring they'd get to it later.

And, luckily, at around that time, the ninjas' attention was stolen by something else and they all abruptly retreated, leaving everyone in mid-swing so several of them fell over foolishly.

"What was the point of that?" said Kaidou, looking irritated that he couldn't have the opportunity to beat more people up.

"What?" said Bane as he turned around from currently beating up David.

"I don't like this universe hopping game," Kai whined as he began to develop a black eye from whatever battle he was engaged in.

"It seems they've all retreated," Inui observed.

"Obviously," said Marui but he was probably just still sore from Inui inadvertently saying that Kirihara would be a better ninja than he was.

"It looks like we have no choice but to go to the monastery," Inui said, deciding to ignore Marui.

"Shouldn't we have gone there anyway?" Ryoma questioned.

"Yeah, plus, if it's taken the Ninja and Superhero Group several hours to complete the mission, then we can assume something went wrong," said Saeki with an animated shrug.

Inui gave a heavy sigh and rubbed his temples to show he had a headache. "Why do you always keep silent about these observations?" he questioned.

"Because if you don't like my observations then you either slap or berate me," Saeki answered honestly.

"Well stop it," said Inui as if that was a pertinent response to anything Saeki just said. "We have to go to the monastery to do several things. We have to hopefully learn the mission, we have to rescue Fuji and Oishi…and maybe we should probably find out what happened to Shiraishi's group." The last part of his statement was tacked on quite reluctantly.

"Do we ALL have to go?" Ryou and Atsushi whined. Yes, it was at the same time. They have twinsense after all.

"Yes, we're all staying together," Inui said. "Come on, let's go."

**//////**

**In a few times, I've been on this site for nine years. Holiday!!! Happy birthday to me! (One more and it's ten. OMFG.) Has anyone else been here that long? LONGER?**


	60. Search Party

Chapter 60- Search Party

"And then we smashed through the wall in an attempt to catch the ninjas by surprise, but as it turned out, they were right in the middle of a banquet!" Shishido explained in a very over animated fashion.

"Why exactly does that lead to you two being apprehended and imprisoned?" questioned Eiji with a raised eyebrow.

"What smells like gravy?" Kirihara said questioningly.

When Shiraishi's small group of former ninjas arrived at the ninja monastery, they were immediately apprehended by the ninjas and thrown in prison. Apparently, the evil uncle didn't care about a couple of his brother's citizens. However, once they were thrown in prison, they discovered Shishido and Choutarou had also been thrown there. Choutarou was about as unresponsive as Captain Planet after he had been doused with pollution, and thus far Shishido was unable to provide a sufficient reason for why that was so.

"Never mind!" said Shishido since he didn't want to be the one who gave away Choutarou's secret weakness.

"Where are Gakuto and Jirou?" asked Hiyoshi.

"Before all the ninjas grabbed us and put us in prison, they challenged the evil uncle to a Ninja Duel and were escorted elsewhere," said Shishido. "The mission was to return the original Ninja Lord to power so they're hoping that the duel will make that happen."

"And all this happened several hours ago," Shiraishi inferred.

"Yeah," said Shishido, looking depressed. "They took my utility belt!"

"This isn't fair!" Momo whined. "I passed the Ninja Test! They can't just take away my Ninja Title! It's a Ninja Tragedy!"

"You can't just put the word 'ninja' in front of everything and make it valid," said Hiyoshi as if he were offended.

"I can because I'm a NINJA!" Momo said. "I have that Ninja Authority!"

"Don't you have any Pirate Pride?" Eiji questioned.

"I am a Ninja-Pirate," said Momo with a frown.

"Enough of this!" said Shiraishi as he picked up a stick and began drawing in the sand. "This is our plan of escape. You, Bitchy Seigaku, start yelling that a snake has gotten into the prison and has bitten you. When the guards come in, you, Disheveled Rikkai, reach through the bars and grab onto them so they can't get away. Then it'll be your job, Bland Hyoutei, to knock them out and take the keys. Then—"

"Excuse me?" Hiyoshi interrupted. "_Bland_?"

"Yes," said Shiraishi, looking confused as to why that would bother anyone.

"Oh, I was just making sure," said Hiyoshi with a nod.

"I find your plan incredibly offensive," said Eiji, putting his hand over his heart.

"Do you find the plan offensive, or do you find my half assed attempts to learn your names offensive?" Shiraishi questioned.

"That wasn't even half assed," said Shishido. "You put absolutely no effort into that whatsoever."

"Yes I did," said Shiraishi. "I learned what teams you're all on."

"We have to think up a REAL plan," said Kirihara, suddenly becoming very conscious of the state of his hair because he was accused of looking disheveled.

"My plan was a real plan," said Shiraishi.

"I wish Inui was here," said Eiji longingly.

"My plan WILL work," said Shiraishi, getting a little annoyed.

"Better yet, I wish OISHI was here!" said Eiji, ignoring Shiraishi.

"Why?" questioned Hiyoshi, but Momo called him off, assuring him that the answer was far too long winded.

"Because we play doubles together!" Eiji announced.

Hiyoshi looked at Momo. "That wasn't long winded," he said.

"Whatever," said Momo.

"WELL?" Shiraishi said, sounding extremely irritated. "If we're not going to use my idea, then that means one of you must have a better idea. Anyone care to share?"

"That rhymed!" Eiji exclaimed happily, getting distracted by his emo.

"Never mind," said Shiraishi, crossing his arms childishly.

"They didn't find this when they frisked us!" said Kirihara as he whipped out his stick of dynamite.

"More like violated us," said Eiji, once again seamlessly transitioning back to emo mode.

"I don't think dynamite would exactly be the best idea for such close quarters," said Shishido. "I'm just going to throw that out there."

"But we could use it to be threatening!" said Kirihara ambitiously. "We'll call the guard in and say if he doesn't let us out then we'll blow the whole place up! Then, when he opens the door, we'll beat him up and escape!"

"What if he calls our bluff?" questioned Momo.

"Then we'll be no worse off than we are now," Kirihara said with a shrug.

"That plan is essentially the same as mine," said Shiraishi.

"No, yours involved snakes and offensive nicknames," said Hiyoshi.

"Whatever," said Shiraishi.

"Does anyone have a method to light this?" Kirihara inquired.

Everyone went around the room and admitted they did not have a method to do so. Until, of course, they got to the very smug Shiraishi who claimed he did have a method, but he wasn't going to tell them what it was.

"You're making it up then," Momo said accusingly.

"No I'm not," said Shiraishi. "I lost most of my powers after I was freed from the lamp, but I retained many of them on an extremely basic level. I am able to create small sparks which would be sufficient enough to light the stick of dynamite."

"Then stop being a tool and light it for us," said Kirihara.

"Actually, I'm sort of thinking of an idea right now that would be much less life threatening," Hiyoshi said.

No one wanted to listen to Hiyoshi and continued to pester Shiraishi to light their stick of dynamite. Finally, Hiyoshi got fed up and cleared his throat to show he was actually going to speak up for himself.

"Guys, I don't ask for a lot of attention," said Hiyoshi. "But I think I actually have an idea here."

"Fine, what's your idea?" sighed Shishido as if it was a huge inconvenience to let Hiyoshi say what his idea was.

Hiyoshi was clearly trying to be strong and keep himself from weeping. "I know this spell that can open locks," he said, his voice shaking. And it was basically impossible to understand him because of that bizarre accent he was speaking in. Of course they all made sure to make fun of him for that too.

Then everyone slapped him individually for not saying his obvious idea first, which didn't do much for his confidence. Then he used his magic to open up the lock on the door and they were about to fiendishly run out of the prison while giggling madly when Shishido angrily pointed out the fact that Choutarou was still lying there covered in his most horrible mysterious weakness.

"Isn't he dead?" questioned Kirihara.

"No, he's not dead!" said Shishido angrily.

"He's too big to carry," whined Eiji.

"We can come back for him," Shiraishi suggested as if this idea was revolutionary.

"That's all right," said Shishido as if he was being a big hero. "I'll stay here and make sure nothing happens to him. You all just tell me how the Ninja Duel goes."

"Whatever, Shishido," said everyone.

Of course, they forgot that when they opened the door, there were going to be guards there. Since they were currently weaponless, they didn't find themselves skilled enough to fight off ninjas and were almost thrown right back into the prison if not for the fact that Shishido came outside and beat up the ninjas.

"Geez, you guys!" said Shishido, sounding offended. "You all passed the Ninja Test, didn't you?"

"I didn't," said Shiraishi. All the other ones sniffled and felt bad for shaming themselves in the name of their Ninjahood. They begged Shishido to come along and protect them, but he refused because he was charged with the duty of protecting Choutarou in his state of unconsciousness.

So, now more hesitant and careful, the rest of the group collected up their weapons which were being conveniently stored right outside the prison and sneaked across the field in between the prison and the monastery. They were surprised to not encounter any ninjas, but quickly determined that they were all attending the Ninja Duel. Of course, the big question was where the Ninja Duel was being held.

It wasn't that difficult to figure it out, however, because one room in the entire monastery was filled with all the ninjas so it was pretty loud with their manly cheering. Shiraishi, Eiji, Momo, Kirihara and Hiyoshi all rolled up to the window and peeked inside very discreetly in hopes to get a glimpse of the action.

The evil uncle was sitting on a massive throne at the head of a long platform and his ninjas were all lined up on either side. Jirou and Gakuto were on the other side, getting each other pumped up for the battle which was about to ensue.

"Maybe it would be best if we found the real Ninja Lord," Hiyoshi whispered to the others.

"What would that prove?" said Momo. "We should just kill that one now."

"Can't we wait five minutes to see if the Ninja Duel works in our favor?" Eiji said, continuing his never-ending quest to avoid killing.

"Maybe I could throw my dynamite in there," Kirihara mused thoughtfully.

"No, because that would kill Jirou and Gakuto too," said Eiji.

"So?" said the others.

"And if the real Ninja Lord is in there too then he'd probably die as well," Eiji led. "Thus, it would be impossible to return him to power and we wouldn't be able to complete the mission."

Kirihara eyed him suspiciously. "You just don't want to kill anyone," he said accusingly.

"Yes, that too," said Eiji. "That is NOT a secret!"

"Shh," Hiyoshi hissed.

"Let's find the real Ninja Lord while all these ninjas are distracted, and then kill everyone later if we have to," said Shiraishi in a tone that suggested it was a totally fair compromise.

"I like that plan, except for the killing part," said Eiji.

"I told you all my plans were good," said Shiraishi.

"You didn't tell us that, and it's not true anyway," Kirihara made sure to point out.

"All right, let's go," said Momo.

They all took another peek inside to see if the Ninja Duel had begun. And, feeling ambitious and enthusiastic that they would be able to complete their mission in a timely manner, they ran off to find the Ninja Lord. Of course, they had no idea where they would be looking and no idea what he even looked like, but they weren't about to let that stop them!

"I wonder if he's in HERE!" said Eiji loudly as he slammed open a door to an empty room. Everyone jumped on top of him to tell him to be quiet and try to be stealthier when in a monastery full of ninjas.

Thankfully, it didn't seem as though the ninjas were clued into their presence. And it was extra good because Eiji had short term memory issues or something because he slammed open the next door in the same loud fashion as he did before.

"I wonder if he's in here LOUDLY!" Eiji exclaimed.

"Seriously! Stop!" Momo commanded.

"Sorry," said Eiji, looking apologetic, but then he spotted another door and was likely about to leap upon that one as well, but the others held him back.

"Let us take care of opening doors from now on," said Shiraishi.

He reached out and attempted to open the door only to find it locked. Hiyoshi stepped forward and used his magic spell to open it and, when they pushed the door open, they discovered they were in the bridal suite Choutarou and Shishido had rediscovered several chapters earlier.

And, of course, there were two beautiful brides in there as well.

"Oh no!" Oishi exclaimed as he jumped behind the curtains so no one would see him.

"It's Oishi!" Eiji shouted. "I'm noticing this LOUDLY!"

Then everyone took turns laughing at Fuji and Oishi because they were so pretty.

"They made us the trophies that go to whoever wins the Ninja Duel," said Fuji, clenching his fist dramatically.

"Aww," said everyone, trying to sound sympathetic, but were too busy chuckling.

"Do you guys have any idea where the real Ninja Lord is?" Shiraishi asked.

"No, but we can help you look," Oishi suggested.

So they all left the room and continued their searching. Of course, Eiji couldn't help but inquiring of Oishi if this meant that he was no longer married to Gakuto, but Oishi admitted that he didn't know.

"I was hoping we would coast through this Universe without having to be reminded of our horrible lots in life…" said Oishi sadly.

"We can't coast through ANY Universe without being reminded of our horrible lots in life," said Fuji. Oishi pouted epically and agreed. The others resolved to work a little harder to find the Ninja Lord, if only to save Fuji and Oishi from further humiliation.


	61. Unacceptable Murder

Chapter 61- Unacceptable Murder

SO, just for some clarification in case anyone forgot, there are currently FOUR groups of people in various places. 1) Shishido and Choutarou are in prison, 2) Gakuto and Jirou are challenging the Evil Uncle to a duel, 3) Shiraishi, Eiji, Momo, Kirihara, Hiyoshi, Fuji and Oishi are wandering around the monastery in search of the true Ninja Lord and 4) everyone else is hiding in the bushes outside the monastery.

"Stop whining about no one listening to you and earn our respect with a wonderful plan," Atobe ordered of Inui who was pouting while peeking through the bushes.

"Fine," said Inui as he straightened his massive pirate hat. "Here is the plan. Considering the sheer volume of people, we will all storm the monastery and overwhelm the ninjas. Undoubtedly one of us might haphazardly defeat our foe."

Everyone waited.

"SERIOUSLY?" said Atobe, sounding supremely irritated.

"That was kind of disappointing, Inui," Taka admitted truthfully.

"I'm under a lot of pressure," said Inui, probably just fishing for sympathy. "I also don't have the remote."

"That shouldn't affect your decision making abilities," said Kamio. Yes, Kamio said it.

"It's difficult to think up a good plan that will keep us from splitting up," Inui said.

"Let's just split up," said Oshitari. "If Atobe and I go in and fire our guns, we'll hit all the evil ninjas, including the Evil Uncle."

"Can you be _sure _that will happen?" Shinji asked skeptically. Yes, Shinji asked it. But everyone just continued to ignore Fudomine.

"And what exactly are the rest of us supposed to do while you two are off committing murder?" questioned Inui in a manner which suggested MAYBE he was a little jealous.

"Just wait quietly and we'll be back eventually," said Atobe.

Atobe and Oshitari got up out of the bushes and didn't bother putting on the façade of sneaking into the monastery and just strolled up to the front door. Since all the ninjas inside the monastery were currently occupied, they were unopposed.

"Where should we start looking?" Oshitari asked of Atobe.

Atobe rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "My guess may be excellent or it may be lousy," he mused. "But my mother didn't raise her son to be foolish enough to make guesses at a critical time like this."

"Why shouldn't you, if you have so much confidence?" Oshitari asked.

"Everyone has confidence to lose."

"I distrust a man with too much confidence," Oshitari decided. "They're too talkative, always picking the wrong time to talk and the wrong things to say. Talking is something that shouldn't be done judiciously, unless your talking backs your confidence."

Atobe assessed that moment was perfect to whip out a cigarette and not smoke it. "If I told you I wasn't confident, you'd call me a liar."

"I wouldn't, not even if I thought it."

Surely this banter would have continued if not for the fact that a fairly large group of people (group 3) rounded the corner and encountered them.

"Why, hello," said Momo pleasantly.

"Hello," said Oshitari and Atobe in unison.

"And what are you two doing?" questioned Shiraishi.

"We are looking for the evil ninjas so we may kill them," Atobe answered.

"You don't even have to!" said Eiji excitedly. "They're having a banquet! And so we all decided to find the Ninja Lord instead of murdering everyone! Isn't that great?"

"That may or may not be great," Oshitari said truthfully.

"Come on, I bet you guys will be able to find the Ninja Lord really quickly!" said Eiji enthusiastically.

Oshitari and Atobe were clearly reluctant to not-kill, but they took out their magnifying glasses and began the process of tracking the Ninja Lord. "You said all the ninjas are at a banquet right now?" Oshitari confirmed. "So that would be in a banquet hall?"

"Yeah, all of them are there," said Kirihara.

"We see…" said Oshitari and Atobe as they continued following tracks with their magnifying glasses.

"I think we might be getting closer to that banquet," said Hiyoshi. "We should try to be more quiet."

"Yeah EIJI," said Oishi quite specifically.

"I'm unsure what you mean!" exclaimed Eiji. "I'm unsure what you mean LOUDLY!"

They were pretty close to stuffing a sweaty sock down his throat to get him to STFU, but it was at that moment that they came to a hallway which clearly led to the banquet hall. They could see the doorway which led to where all the ninjas were currently witnessing the Ninja Duel, and there was a door on the way other end of the hallway which had a ridiculously large padlock on it.

"That is likely where the Ninja Lord is being held," Atobe decided, placing his magnifying glass back in the secret pocket in his jacket.

"We have to somehow get past the banquet hall in order to get to the Ninja Lord…" Oishi said.

"Maybe—" Oshitari started but then he turned around and looked at Oishi to see what he was wearing, and then he looked at Fuji and saw what he was wearing as well. Then, with absolutely no tact whatsoever, he simply demanded, "REALLY?"

"I killed you once, Sir, I will do it again," Fuji said threateningly.

"I was reflecting on the injustices of the fact that the ninjas obviously forced you both to dress like that…" Oshitari mumbled but his statement sort of petered off into nothingness.

"Let's just send Hiyoshi forward because he knows that spell that opens locks," said Shiraishi.

"All your plans are horrible!" Momo practically yelled.

"SHHH!" hissed everyone, including Eiji. You know you're being loud when EIJI has to shush you. Of course, the process of shushing was actually louder than Momo's original statement, but thankfully all the ninjas from the room decided to do an extremely enthusiastic and manly cheer at just that time so the sound was drowned out.

"Actually, I think that's kind of a good plan," Atobe admitted.

"I _do _have good plans," said Shiraishi.

"Just stop making yourself so unredeemable," Kirihara suggested.

"I am not unredeemable," said Shiraishi.

So Hiyoshi started tiptoeing towards the doorway at the end of the hallway, but of course had to pass by the banquet hall opening. When he reached the first doorway, he peered around the corner to make sure none of the ninjas were watching.

As he was doing this, the others were only staring at him skeptically as if he was foolish for creeping around and worrying that the ninjas might catch him.

"I can't believe we're putting all our faith into HIYOSHI," said Oshitari.

"I don't even know him and I know he's useless," Shiraishi noted.

"See?" said Kirihara. "You're totally unredeemable."

"Actually, he's justified in his presumptuous judgment," said Atobe. "Hiyoshi is pretty useless."

"Guys…" whined Hiyoshi from the other end of the hallway since he could hear them mocking him.

"SHHH!" they all shushed him.

Unfortunately, that time they weren't muffled by the sound of ninjas cheering. Instead, they heard the sound of ninjas exclaiming, "DID YOU HEAR THAT?" (These ninjas aren't very subtle ninjas, are they?)

The ninjas began piling out into the hallway and spotted all the intruders immediately.

"New plan, we're killing them," Fuji decided as he gestured for Atobe and Oshitari to start firing blindly into a crowd.

Atobe and Oshitari barely kept themselves from exclaiming "HURRAH!" as they took out their guns and did exactly as they were instructed. Surprisingly, the bullets sailed towards the ninjas before Kirihara, though he did decided to run away and dive into the next hallway in order to avoid the slaughter. About thirty seconds passed until Atobe and Oshitari decided to stop shooting, and a giant heap of bloody ninjas was all that was left.

"WHY?" Eiji shouted, dropping to his knees and shaking his fists at the heavens.

"I need therapy," said Hiyoshi because he happened to be standing in the midst of it all.

"I think we do too," Atobe said to Oshitari.

"Pfft," said Oshitari dismissively.

"Is it over?" said Kirihara, peeking his head around the corner.

"Yes, it's over," said Momo.

"I didn't get shot!" Kirihara said happily.

Oshitari raised his gun to shoot Kirihara just for kicks, but Oishi practically shoved him over to keep him from committing another act of senseless murder. "I don't think we should just kill Kirihara because we have nothing better to do," he reasoned.

"Fine…" said Oshitari, rolling his eyes.

"You definitely need therapy," Atobe assessed.

"I don't think you should ever try to kill me, regardless of the reason!" said Kirihara.

"You know, we could have fought them off or something," said Eiji.

Just then, Gakuto and Jirou emerged from the banquet hall, having to climb over the bloody bodies of their fallen comrades.

"What the hell?" demanded Gakuto. "We had everything under control! We already beat our evil uncle!"

"And he's already been taken to prison!" Jirou added. "You just killed basically everyone in our monastery!"

"There's no sense crying over spilled milk," said Oshitari.

"That is an unacceptable response to the amount of death in this room," said Jirou.

Everyone was quiet for a few minutes until Shiraishi cleared his throat. "So I guess we should go find the others and report the good news…?"

"WHAT GOOD NEWS?" demanded everyone who was not happy with the killing, which was pretty much everyone. (Except Oshitari and Atobe. And Fuji.)

"The good news that we completed the mission," Shiraishi reminded them. "I mean, with everyone dead, obviously the Ninja Lord is back into power."

"I guess…" they said reluctantly.

"Let's at least let the Ninja Lord out of this room," Hiyoshi suggested as he opened up the locked room to find it was just empty inside.

"Our dad is in the prison," said Gakuto with a raised eyebrow.

"Then why did we bother searching this entire monastery?" Eiji demanded. "AND killing these ninjas?"

"Are you asking us that LOUDLY?" asked Momo.

"CLEARLY!" Eiji yelled LOUDLY.

So they all frolicked outside the monastery to find that the rest of the group was standing outside, including Shishido who had long since relinquished the remote to Inui.

"And why did we just hear almost a minute of solid gunfire?" Inui asked as if he were addressing small children.

"We might have just killed all of the ninjas," Kirihara said. "But the good news is that I'M still alive!"

Inui looked as though he was going to raise his gun to kill Kirihara just because he was being annoying, but Oishi repeated his request to not kill Kirihara for that same reason.

"But the real good news is that the mission is complete," Inui said.

"The ends BARELY justify the means!" said Eiji.

"I know you tried, Eiji," said Taka.

"I DID try," Eiji sniffled.

"And the worst news is that Choutarou kind of died a long time ago," Shishido said, looking very sad. Everyone wanted to groan in disgust and tell him they didn't care, but they instead just pretended to feel bad for him as long as he didn't ask to have a funeral for Choutarou.

They were soon engulfed by a white light which indicated it was time to change Universes.

"I don't want to be in a new Universe!" complained…like everyone. They appeared in the middle of a forest.

"Calm down, everyone, we have to figure out where we are so we can get through this quickly…" said Inui in a fatherly tone.

"Did I die?" Choutarou said curiously, putting his hands on his hips.

"It's all right, Choutarou," said Shishido, trying to be strong.

"It sure is cloudy here!" announced Bane observantly.

"Is there anything else distinguishable about this place?" questioned Ryou and Atsushi. AGAIN, with their twinsense. It's easier to have them speak at the same time rather than give them each other own distinguishable lines and personalities.

"It's kind of blue here too," said Inui, adjusting his glasses.

"Blue and cloudy," agreed Saeki. "It must be kind of late too. Around twilight."

"It IS around twilight," said the others.

Dun…dun…dunnnnn…

**////////////**

**Let's hear some educated guesses on what you think the next universe will be. LMAO**


	62. Fairy

Chapter 62- Fairy

Despite his better judgment, Inui thought it would be most productive to split up into two groups. This was partially because their current group was just far too massive, but also because Inui just didn't want to hang out with Shiraishi.

Inui reflected on the best way to make a group while also avoiding Shiraishi.

"So Seigaku will go this way with Rikkai Dai and Fudomine," said Inui. "Hyoutei, Rokkaku and Shiraishi will go that way."

"Sounds good to me," said Shiraishi because he was still fully under the impression that he might somehow be in charge.

"What about me?" asked Atsushi.

"You're basically on Rokkaku, remember?" said Itsuki as the entire Sea Activities loving team hugged. They tried to hug Shiraishi too, because they still think he's an honorary member of Rokkaku, but Shiraishi stepped away from them. They didn't really care, though, because at least they had each other.

Hyoutei judged them.

"What about Higa, guys?" asked Kite.

Everyone threw their heads back and laughed and Kai and Kite.

"Oh, you're serious," Inui noted upon realizing that Kai and Kite were not joining their hysterical laughter. "You can go with Rokkaku and Hyoutei."

"What?" demanded Atobe. "We don't want them. They're useless, and our useless people quota is already filled!" He gestured to the hug-happy portion of their group. And to Hiyoshi.

"Well, we have Fudomine, so it's only fair that you take Higa," said Momo, pointing at Shinji and Kamio who were standing there dreaming dreams of Tachibana.

"We don't mind taking them," said Rokkaku as a unit.

"Fine…" grumbled Hyoutei as Kai and Kite dejectedly went to the Hyoutei/Rokkaku/Shitenhhouji and now Higa group. If all their teams were combined together, it would be something like Hyoukakhoujiga. That sounds like a Street Fighter special move. And, if we were to observe Atsushi's REAL team (St. Rudolph) then it would be St. Hyoukakhoujiga. Oh yeah.

And so, the two groups split in half. This was after they figured out the game plan of course. They would search the area and return to that specific spot at sundown, hopefully with some new people. Bane and David remembered their walkie-talkies, thankfully, and gave one to the Seigaku/Fudomine/Rikkai Dai group (Ridomigaku) so they would be able to communicate, but only if they absolutely had to.

"I'm glad we got rid of all that clutter," Fuji commented as they watched St. Hyoukakhoujiga wander off. This statement could not go without a glare to the non-Seigaku portion of Ridomigaku.

"It's good to have these walkie-talkies," Oishi said in a conversation completely independent of whatever else was being said. "Now we won't have to go through the tedious process of wondering where everyone is."

"That is an accurate statement," Inui said since he only wants attention.

"Can we just hurry up and find whoever we're supposed to find?" whined Niou since he didn't like being a zombie.

"Have we figured out what type of universe this is yet?" Kamio asked. "Aside from the bluish haze, it seems rather normalish."

"We do seem to appear in forests quite often," Taka noticed.

"Since the other group went that way, we'll head in the direct opposite direction!" Eiji announced pointlessly.

They all decided to agree just because it did actually make a tad bit of sense. They no sooner started their parade down the path when they stumbled across the edge of the forest which was actually in someone's backyard, apparently.

"This is anticlimactic," Marui said, sounding disappointed. "If we're in a neighborhood, that probably means there it is less likely that we'll encounter demons and monsters!"

"Why would you want to encounter demons and monsters?" asked Jackal.

"Because we don't encounter them enough," Marui answered as if that response made any justifiable sense.

"Finding people in a normalish universe is actually more difficult than finding people in a universe with an unusual theme," Inui said. "We have to keep our eyes and ears open."

"No problem," said Momo, whipping out his telescope. "I'll see anyone before they see me."

Everyone rolled their eyes at Momo's telescope and wandered into the street in an attempt to find someone who plays tennis.

"Who might this new person or people be?" asked Ryoma.

"Well, really anyone," said Inui, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Anyone from Shitenhouji or Fudomine or St. Rudolph…and now that we found those two guys from Higa, that just opened up a whole new can of worms."

They all chuckled at the thought of Higa actually existing or being respectable.

"But seriously, it could be anyone," Inui said after he wiped the tear from his eye.

"You two should probably not walk around in the open so much, now that I think about it," said Kirihara to Niou and Yagyuu. "If this really is a normalish universe, then the locals here probably won't be accustomed to outlandish supernatural creatures like zombies or vampires or something."

"Isn't Renji a vampire?" Jackal confirmed.

"Why, yes, he is," said Kirihara.

Inui's lip quivered at the thought of Renji being elsewhere.

"What exactly makes a vampire a 'vampire'?" Shinji asked since he clearly forgot.

"You know, sleeping in coffins, sizzling in sunlight, drinking blood…" said Kirihara, counting off these qualities on his fingers as he went along. "Badass stuff like that."

"Do vampires fall in love?" Kaidou wondered randomly.

"No way," said Kirihara since he was clearly the expert. "They lure their pray into their huge creepy castle and then kill them when they least expect it. They also wear capes."

"Stop talking," said Fuji as he reached his boiling over point faster than usual.

"There's nothing here!" Eiji announced randomly. "This town is boring and disappointing! I'm sure the people living here are idiotic and have no concept of anything on a deep conceptual level, like the timeless love story of Romeo and Juliet!"

"Romeo and Juliet were two impulsive teenagers who died at the end, Eiji," said Oishi.

"That's what makes it deep and conceptual!" Eiji said defensively.

"Guys!" Momo randomly exclaimed. "Hang on a second! I think I see something in my telescope!"

"We can see it without your telescope," Ryoma said very insensitively.

"Well I can see it better," said Momo with a frown.

Sure enough, there was something-or-other on the horizon, slowly approaching them on the sidewalk. Instead of doing anything proactive about their situation, they decided to just stop and wait for the person to eventually reach them, and BOY were they surprised when the person eventually did reach them!

"You all smell weird," said the person.

"Excuse us?" they all chimed because it was a pretty strange greeting. Of course, they were slightly distracted because this person who was speaking to them and saying odd things also happened to be THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON EVERRR. I mean, seriously, this guy was like GORGEOUS, and had bronze hair and warm eyes. His eyes were SO warm, in fact, that it was alluring, but he wasn't doing it on purpose, but it just came naturally because he was so gorgeous. And like a marble statue. And his voice was like velvet too. It made them all dizzy and their hearts beat faster when he smiled. At the sight of that bronze hair and warm eyes…and the sound of his velvet voice.

"I have that effect on people," said the beautiful man-boy as he did something rather dazzling. It didn't matter what he did, only that you know it was dazzling and not-creepy. It probably had something to do with the crooked way he smiled. Whatever the hell that means.

"Um…who are you?" asked Kamio, barely refraining from adding, "And why are you so dazzling?"

"I can't tell you who I am," said the person in quite the dramatic fashion that everyone almost fainted.

"I can't tell, is he some kind of male Mary-Sue…?" Ryoma tried.

"Hang on," said Inui, raising his remote to see the number had been reduced by one while they were all so dazzled.

"He's someone who plays tennis?" exclaimed Marui excitedly.

"Apparently…" said Inui, glaring at this dazzling person with a somewhat suspicious look.

"Wait, you all know me?" questioned the dazzling person in a velvet voice as he smiled. And his eyes were so warm.

"Yes, you see, we've all been scattered around to various universes, and we have been searching for—" Inui began.

"Did you appear in this universe a couple of weeks ago?" Eiji interrupted before Inui could go off on a tangent.

"I did," said the new person in a velvety voice.

"Wait, I think I recognize him," Kaidou interrupted. Everyone waited for him to elaborate, but he instead looking pensive. "I want to say…Bane?"

"No, Bane is on Rokkaku AND we already found him," Inui pointed out.

"So you know who I am, but you don't recognize me?" questioned our dazzling friend.

"Give us a hint," said Kirihara. "What team do you play for?"

"How about you just tell us who you are?" Fuji said with a glare at Kirihara.

"I play on Shitenhouji, guys," said the person in a voice that was so velvety and dazzling that the others almost didn't hear him. "You probably don't recognize me because I never got an opportunity to play against you… I'm Oshitari."

"No you're not," said everyone.

"Oh, well, I'm Oshitari KENYA," said the new person who was apparently Oshitari Kenya. "I'm Oshitari Yuushi's cousin who plays on Shitenhouji."

"OH!" exclaimed everyone with a laugh.

"You can be Kenya, I guess," said Inui, raising his eyebrow at their dazzling companion.

And THEN Inui commenced his long winded explanation.

"It's a good thing you conveniently just walked down this path we were standing on," observed Kirihara.

"A lot of convenient things like that tend to happen in this universe," said Kenya, fully going along with all this new information. "And here I was hanging out in this strange place thinking I've gone absolutely insane when it turns out that we've just gotten jumbled around to various universes."

"Is there anyone else from your team in this universe?" Yagyuu asked.

Kenya looked like he was going to answer, but then he only looked at Yagyuu, then at Niou, and was subsequently repulsed. Especially when in comparison to his own dazzling and marble-like appearance.

"We're from the Zombie Universe," Niou said with a sigh.

"Speaking of which, what universe is this?" Taka asked. "I mean, as far as I can see, you're just kind of your own self except…exponentially more dazzling."

"Actually, guys, I've turned into a mythological creature," said Kenya.

He only stood there like that was the end of his explanation.

"Care to enlighten us?" requested Momo.

"Can't you tell?" demanded Kenya.

"Uh…" everyone stuttered slowly.

"Give us some hints," requested Kirihara AGAIN.

"If I give you guys hints then you'll only guess right away," complained Kenya, but even his complaining voice was like velvet, making all of their voices seem hard and coarse in comparison.

"Just tell us," Fuji commanded.

"All right, I'll give you one hint," said Kenya. "I sparkle in the sunlight. Man, but now it's so obvious!"

"Coupled with the fact that you are clearly much more dazzling than any normal human could possibly be, that brings me to the only natural conclusion that you MUST be…" Inui started, but then he trailed off. "A fairy."

"Yup," said Kenya with a nod. "I'm a fairy."

The others stared at him. "Where are your wings?" asked Eiji. "And why are you person sized?"

"I don't know," said Kenya with a shrug. "I guess fairies in this universe are just different from fairies as we've come to understand them. We live in a mansion hidden at the edge of town as a clan of pretty fairies. I sparkle, have super strength and super speed, and I hunt bears and other large animals in the mountains with my clan of other fairies."

"Uh…that doesn't sound like fairy-like behavior," Kamio pointed out.

"Well there's no other explanation for why I sparkle," said Kenya.

"That's a good point," said Oishi. "There aren't very many mythological creatures that sparkle."

"Admittedly…" Kenya continued thoughtfully. "My clan never actually SAYS that we're fairies… but I've sort of assumed at this point."

"What else would you be?" asked Eiji.

"Nothing," said Kenya. "I'm probably a fairy."

"All right, you're a fairy, fine," said Inui. "Let's get past it. Is there anyone else from our original universe who is also in this one?"

Kenya paused a moment, then reluctantly said, "Yes."

When he didn't continue, Inui prodded with, "Another fairy perhaps?"

"No, not another fairy," said Kenya as his voice got dark, but still velvety, and a shadow covered half his face and he became very angsty. So angsty, in fact, that he probably was going to travel to Italy and reveal himself to the world by sparkling in front of everyone during a parade, even though most people wouldn't look at a sparkling person at a parade and assume he was a mythological creature and instead assume he was part of an act with lots of body glitter on, but still. It's dramatic.


	63. Werewolves

Chapter 63- Werewolves

Meanwhile, with St. Hyoukakhoujiga…

"I don't understand," said Atobe, looking quite cross with Choutarou. "How could you possibly not have your super powers? It has not been a month since you lost them last."

"I don't know how to explain it!" said Choutarou as he looked up at the sky. "I always keep very careful track of how many days have passed, and it should not be a new moon tonight!"

"Maybe tonight is a lunar eclipse," said Kite.

"There's a difference between a lunar eclipse and a new moon," said Shishido

"No there isn't," said Kite. "They're the same thing."

"No they're not," said Shishido. "A lunar eclipse can only occur during a full moon. A new moon is when there is no moon in the sky at all. Hence, a new moon and a lunar eclipse are two totally different things."

"Whatever!" said Kite, crossing his arms and pouting.

"We don't need super powers anyway," David announced. "We'll be able to find the people we're looking for with a bit of man power and elbow grease! And before you ask, NO, that was not a pun!"

"It was still stupid," said Bane.

"Well, you can't punch me for being stupid," said David.

"Watch me," said Bane.

"There's no need to get violent," said Saeki, but Bane punched David anyway. And Saeki was really just saying that as a front because he should advocate against violence, but he also secretly wanted David punched so, in the end, everyone wins. Except David. Cause he got punched.

They were interrupted from their current bickering because Shiraishi suddenly gave the most wistful sigh of all time.

"What's with you, are you sick?" asked Jirou in a tone which suggested maybe he was partially actually concerned.

"No, I was just thinking about how much better life would be if I had another member of Shitenhouji to mingle with…" Shiraishi said.

"Yeah, life WOULD be better, because then you wouldn't keep trying to talk to US," said Oshitari with a frown.

Hiyoshi cleared his throat and remarked, "On that note, maybe we should keep looking for someone who is from our original universe."

Since Hiyoshi was being such a buzz kill, they all figured they might as well. And so, they continued their march through the woods, occasionally complaining about various aspects of their lives, when suddenly David's walkie-talkie started crackling. It sounded as though there was a voice attempting to convey a message from the other end, but the static was obscuring the words so it was impossible to understand exactly what was being said.

"Try hitting it, that might work," Kai suggested.

"Not every problem can be solved with violence," said David as he delicately attempted to tune the transmission.

"You're not being a team player," Bane warned.

"There's no 'I' in team," said David. "But there IS an 'I' in win."

Bane took it upon himself to pound David and take the walkie-talkie from him. Of course, all he ended up doing was shaking the device pointlessly, which didn't help their plight.

"Do you think they're trying to tell us that they found the people from our universe?" Gakuto suggested.

"Or maybe they're trying to tell us something went horribly wrong and they're being attacked," Atsushi and Ryou (yes both of them) suggested nervously.

"Either way, shouldn't we head back to the meeting place?" Saeki questioned.

"No," said Shiraishi, putting his hand up to object. "We're not dogs who will come when we're called. They said we would meet at sundown, and that's what we'll do."

"It's sort of night right now," Saeki pointed out.

"Still, I don't want them to win," Shiraishi announced as he continued marching in the opposite direction.

Everyone else didn't really know who to look at for leadership, so they directed their attention to Atobe to see what he would do.

"Hm…" Atobe pondered. "I do love not doing as I'm told…"

"Then it's settled," Jirou decided. "Let's cause mischief in the world!"

"That conclusion is not at all grounded in what I just said, Jirou," said Atobe.

"Oh," said Jirou, looking sad. Mostly because he couldn't cause mischief, but also because his deductive reasoning was clearly off.

"Let's head back," Atobe translated.

Just when there may have been discussion to refute, a massive wolf leapt from the bushes, causing all the smaller sized individuals to jump into the arms of the more generously sized individuals just like in a Scooby Doo cartoon. A couple of people even fainted because, while this wolf wasn't particularly dazzling, it certainly was startling.

Shishido, in an effort to rescue himself (and maybe the powerless Choutarou), whipped out his spear (which he actually hasn't used since the Zombie Universe) and attempted to ward off the wolf.

"Just think, we may never play tennis again!" exclaimed Gakuto as he struck a pose of despair from the arms of Oshitari.

"Oh stop it," said Oshitari as he dropped Gakuto and took his gun from his holster. He was prepared to open fire on the wolf just for good measure when he stopped because the wolf happened to be doing something rather extraordinary, which was morphing into a young teen with vaguely recognizable features and happened to be utterly naked.

"EEEK!" gasped the entirety of St. Hyoukakhoujiga as they covered their faces to protect their virgin eyes.

"It's all right, I'm wearing clothes now," said the person who had literally just transformed from a wolf.

"That was quick," commented Saeki as they all looked again to see that the vaguely recognizable teen was only wearing shorts. "Um…where are the rest of your clothes?"

"This is all I need," announced their vaguely recognizable friend as he put his hands on his hips and posed heroically.

No one really knew where to go from there.

"Is no one going to ask why he was a wolf?" asked Itsuki.

"I'm more distracted by the fact that he looks familiar…" Atobe said curiously. "Though, now that you mention it, I do wonder why that just happened."

"Comparatively speaking, it's not THAT weird," said Choutarou with a shrug.

"Care to explain?" requested Kite.

"I think you all owe me an explanation first," said their vaguely familiar acquaintance.

"Why?" demanded Kite, now sounding somewhat offended. "You're the one who suddenly jumped out of a bush AS A WOLF and is now standing there half naked!"

"I'm not half naked," said the half naked person. "I just like to not wear my shirt."

"That would make you half naked," Hiyoshi pointed out.

"No, it wouldn't," said the person. "Who needs shirts?"

"Wait a second…" said Atobe. "I think I figured out where I know you from. You're someone who plays on Shitenhouji, aren't you?"

They waited for a response, but their shirtless friend was only looking off at the horizon with an utterly sad and pained expression on his face. "Oh, sorry," he said once he realized they were all waiting for him to say something. "I was distracted when I started thinking about this person I'm madly in love with."

"Oh," they all said with raised eyebrows.

"But yes, I DO play on Shitenhouji," said the person.

"Well why hasn't Shiraishi said anything…?" Oshitari pondered as he started looking around for Shiraishi only to discover that he wasn't standing there. "Oh yeah, he left earlier."

"Shiraishi's here?" said the person curiously.

"Well, he WAS, but as I JUST SAID, he left," said Oshitari, looking more annoyed than he probably should have for something so utterly trivial.

Then, even though they still had no explanation for why their friend from Shitenhouji was turning into a wolf, they decided to explain the situation to him. He took it in stride and almost seemed to agree.

"I am Zaizen Hikaru of Shitenhouji and, before you get jealous over my incredible physique, just know that, yes, I work out," announced their new acquaintance as he stood there and modeled his muscles, but he still looked like his normal self so he was pretty much just skinny and white.

"Um… all right," said Gakuto since no one else appeared to be able to react to that statement.

"So how about explaining that whole wolf thing?" Bane suggested.

"Oh that?" said Zaizen as if it was something that could be totally dismissible and the fact that anyone had even noticed was the strange part. "There isn't really a completely easy way to describe this, so I'll just say it. I'm a werewolf."

"I'm a ninja," said Jirou.

"Really?" said Zaizen, looking oddly impressed.

"Wait a second," said Choutarou since he obviously needed more clarification than that. "You're a werewolf? It's not a full moon. It's a new moon, actually."

"It doesn't have to be a full moon for me to turn into a werewolf," said Zaizen.

"I thought turning into a werewolf was an involuntary thing that happens on a full moon," Choutarou said. "And that you turned into sort of a half wolf, half human creature with little or no control over your own mind and craves the hunt."

"Nope," Zaizen answered.

"Nope to what?" Shishido practically demanded.

"Nope to all of that," said Zaizen. "Officially forget EVERYTHING you know about werewolves. We are teenagers who wander around shirtless and can turn into giant wolves whenever we want. Or sometimes if we get mad. But pretty much whenever we want."

"Is the shirtless part of it completely necessary?" asked Kai.

"Yes," Zaizen snapped.

"I don't think that's being a werewolf," said Atsushi.

"Yeah, I think that's just being a shape shifter or something," Ryou agreed.

"Or an Animagus!" Hiyoshi said.

"WHAT?" everyone yelled at him so he frowned and went into the corner.

"That is a total rape of Werewolf Mythology," David decided, crossing his arms definitively.

"Also, while you're forgetting everything you know about werewolves, you also should forget everything you know about vampires too," Zaizen continued.

"Why?" asked Atobe. "Has this universe raped Vampire Mythology as well?"

"Actually, yeah," said Zaizen, but then he clenched his fist dramatically. "And we werewolves are sworn enemies of the vampires! Them and their sparkling and velvet voices and various other dazzling features! If I had it my way, we'd kill them all! And the only way to kill them is to tear them limb from limb and then burn their bodies!"

"That's kind of badass," remarked Saeki optimistically.

"Because a stake is somehow not dramatic enough…?" Kite questioned.

"No, we have to tear them limb from limb and burn their bodies!" said Zaizen finitely. "Now I was actually in the process of hunting a vampire just now when I happened by you all."

"That's convenient," remarked Oshitari.

"I know, right?" said Zaizen. "Convenient things like that happen all the time in this universe."

"We should probably find Shiraishi first," Atobe said. "He's kind of sparkly in the sense that he's a genie."

"How would being a genie make him sparkly?" inquired Zaizen.

"I guess it doesn't," said Atobe with a shrug. "We just hate him."

"We kind of hate him too," Zaizen admitted.

"Well, we were hoping you would be friends with him so we didn't have to be friends with him anymore," said Saeki, though he did feel a little bad for being mean. In fact, everyone was rather surprised with his rather callus statement, but Saeki ordered them not to look at him because anyone else saying it would have been normal and he should not be held to a higher standard of goodness just because he was usually a reasonable person.

"So…can we come with you and see the sparkly vampires?" David requested.

"Hm…I don't see why not," Zaizen said with a shrug. "As long as you guys don't have a problem with me tearing him limb from limb and then burning his body."

"No, we love murder actually," said Oshitari.

"Great, then you just have to keep up!" Zaizen said.

"ALL RIGHT!" everyone cheered as they jumped up into the air and high fived.

**//////**

**You guys is makin' me lolz with all the comments on the previous chapter. I'll have you know, it really inspired me to crank out another one, laughing all the way through. God, I love this series in the sense that it is so horrible that it is amazing. ****PS, you know the chapter was amazing too cause I had to do RESEARCH!**


	64. Emoting

Chapter 64- Emoting

"So then, after a few weeks of being utterly elusive and brooding, he _finally _decided to talk to her, and from that point, me and the rest of the fairies didn't know exactly where to go from there because humans aren't supposed to know about the existence of fairies," Kenya explained patiently, though he sounded anxious, but still dazzlingly so.

"Wait, so you guys go to high school and pretend to be humans…why?" Oishi said, confused.

"Um…for kicks, I think?" Kenya said with a shrug.

"You know, for a universe with fairies in it, this place is surprisingly bland," Kaidou noted.

"It happens," said Kenya in a voice that was like velvet.

"So are you going to tell us about the other person in this universe yet?" Inui led.

In response, Kenya only looked wistfully at the horizon and clenched his fist dramatically, his dazzling bronze hair ruffling dazzlingly in the wind. He stood like a marble statue, which was ironic because he basically looked like one anyway, and continued to brood.

"I guess he's still not ready to talk about it," Kirihara observed.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready," said Kenya breathlessly, even though it didn't make sense that he would say anything breathlessly, it just sounded romantically dramatic enough to use in this particular situation.

"I wish these walkie-talkies actually worked," said Inui, glaring crossly at the walkie-talkie that he had not yet received a response from St. Hyoukakhoujiga.

"Where exactly are we going anyway?" Eiji asked. "Are we going to the Valley of the Fairies?"

"Valley of the Fairies?" demanded Kenya, sounding breathlessly dazzling and velvety.

"Didn't you say that was where you lived?" Eiji asked as he made something up completely.

"No, I live in a mansion with several other fairies," said Kenya, looking irritated but still beautiful. "I don't recall ever calling it a valley."

"You SHOULD call it that," said Eiji.

"Well don't get your hopes up because I'm not calling it that," said Kenya as he smiled for no reason other than to bring up the fact that his smile was dazzling.

"If you won't tell us who else is in this universe, could you elaborate a bit on your role here?" Inui attempted, trying to get back on topic.

"What do you mean?" Kenya questioned.

"Well, in other universes, the people we appear as are generally important in some way," Inui replied. "For example, I was a pirate captain in the Pirate Universe. Kaidou and Kamio were two of the star players in the Soccer Universe. In the Harry Potter Universe, we had to play Quidditch, and Shinji was on that team with whoever else we found there. Understand now?"

"In the universe I was in, I was myself," Ryoma pointed out.

"Well, you're the Prince of Tennis," said Momo.

"True," Ryoma said with a shrug.

"Well, I guess…well, I'm a fairy, doesn't that count for anything?" Kenya asked, looking somehow confused.

No one had to even respond to the perfectly legitimate question because they heard the sound of something approaching. In fact, that particular something approaching happened to be pretty much a mob. Ridomigaku was understandably startled until they realized that the mob was actually St. Hyoukakhoujiga.

"Look out, we're hunting vampires," Atobe commanded.

"Um, hi, what?" said Inui rather ungracefully.

"We found a person from this universe, too," Saeki added helpfully.

They all stepped aside to reveal Zaizen there looking rather morose and still quite shirtless.

"Uh…who are you?" said Fuji as he failed at recognizing this particular tennis player.

"Guys, it's me, from Shitenhouji!" said Zaizen. "I'm that guy who almost played doubles, but then I decided not to play so Chitose and Seigaku's captain could play a single's game against each other."

"Ah yes, that guy," said Inui, remembering fondly that particular tennis match.

"So what were you guys just talking about vampire hunting…?" questioned Marui, sounding intrigued.

"Renji's not here, is he?" Kirihara asked confusedly.

"No, apparently this universe has vampires and werewolves," said Shishido. "Or, rather, some warped form of them."

"Oh yeah, they also have fairies too," Eiji remarked. "We found a guy from Shitenhouji…"

They all started looking around to discover Kenya was no longer standing there.

"Well, he did say he had super speed," Oishi pointed out.

"We're actually very busy right now," said Ryou, referring to himself and the rest of St. Hyoukakhoujiga.

"Yeah, is that vampire anywhere around here?" Atsushi asked Zaizen.

"No…he WAS here…but he got away…" Zaizen answered with great regret in his voice. He looked like he was going to angst again, but then he happened to see Niou and Yagyuu standing there like it was NO BIG DEAL.

"WHAT," they both said when they noticed they were now being stared at.

"What are you?" Zaizen questioned.

"Why are you asking us what we are when there are clearly two people here who are the opposite gender they're supposed to be?" Niou demanded.

"I figured they made a life choice at some point that I wasn't aware of!" said Zaizen.

"This isn't a life choice!" Oishi said angrily.

"Way to bring attention to our misfortune," said Fuji in that tone that clearly meant, "If not for the fact you were already dead, I would probably kill you again."

"So are you zombies or…?" Zaizen led.

"Yes. We're zombies," said Yagyuu.

"That's all I wanted to know," said Zaizen. "Was that so hard?"

"It's hard when we have to explain it to EVERYONE," said Yagyuu.

"Why are you hunting vampires?" Shinji asked Zaizen randomly before he could retort against Yagyuu.

"Because there is a hated rivalry between the werewolves and the vampires," said Zaizen. "As a werewolf, I am sworn to hunt them—"

"Wait, you're a werewolf?" interrupted the entirety of Ridomigaku.

"Didn't we already establish that?" Zaizen questioned.

"So where do the fairies fit in with this rivalry between the vampires and the werewolves?" inquired Hiyoshi.

Zaizen only stood there looking confused. Then he shrugged. "I didn't know there were fairies here," he said, and then clenched his fist dramatically. "But oh how I hate the vampires! This hatred brews within me like a desire I've never felt before! Nothing but their deaths will quench this hate. And desire."

"That's great and everything, but when we get to the Vampire Universe and meet up with Renji, you have to not hate him," said Kirihara.

"There's a Vampire Universe?" Zaizen practically bellowed.

"Okay, this is awesome group sharing and everything…" Oshitari led. "But maybe we should just find that guy who ran away so we can get our mission?"

"The guy who ran away was actually your cousin, Oshitari," remarked Fuji. "Or so he claimed."

"Oh," said Oshitari, looking a fair cross between ultimately pleased and utterly disgusted. "Kenya is here?"

"And he's a fairy," Eiji added.

"Well, I already knew _that_," said Oshitari with a chuckle. No one else laughed. "What. It was funny."

"No it wasn't," said everyone else.

"Why does everyone keep promising members of Shitenhouji for me to interact with, only to disappoint me because they left a few minutes prior to my arrival?" said Zaizen in a way overly dramatic sort of way.

"Explain," Inui ordered of Atobe.

"Well, Shiraishi sort of left about a minute before this guy showed up," Atobe answered.

"And you didn't go after him?" Inui said, his voice elevating slightly.

"Um…no," said Atobe.

"Why?" Inui asked patiently.

"Um…I don't know," Atobe said with a nod of satisfaction.

"Well now we have to find _him _too so we can get the mission for this universe," said Inui.

"I don't appreciate your tone," said Atobe threateningly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Inui questioned.

"Hang on, I have a question," Fuji interrupted, and then he pointed at Zaizen. "You didn't know Kenya was here?"

"No," said Zaizen.

"Well, he certainly seemed to know you were here," Fuji said. "And he expressed great disinterest in seeing you."

"Which might explain why he ran away," Saeki added.

"Yes," said Fuji, looking proud of Saeki.

"Why would Kenya express disinterest in seeing me?" questioned Zaizen. "We play on the same tennis team!"

"I don't know, but the mere thought of you existing seemed to catapult him into an impenetrable ball of angst," Fuji answered with a shrug.

"How weird…" said Zaizen, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Guys, should we all just split up again?" Itsuki suggested civilly.

"Yes, some of us can go find Shiraishi, and other people can go find Kenya," Inui said. "Then we'll all meet back up again."

"Well, we can guess Kenya probably went back to the Valley of the Fairies," said Eiji.

"The mansion he mentioned?" Taka translated.

"Mansion?" Zaizen immediately repeated. "What mansion?"

"Apparently it's a mansion where a bunch of fairies live and sparkle together," Kaidou said and he felt significantly less manly after he said it.

"Sparkle…" everyone on St. Hyoukakhoujiga said slowly.

"Outrage!" Zaizen exclaimed. "That is the feeling I am now emoting!"

"It's great that you just announced that…?" Gakuto noticed cautiously.

"As a werewolf, my emotions aren't very complex, they're right out on the surface and very basic, but that's neither here nor there!" Zaizen said. "Kenya's no fairy! He's a _vampire_!"

Following Zaizen's announcement, everyone didn't appear to know how to react.

"Wait, explain that?" Jirou requested.

"Remember how I told you about the vampires in this universe?" Zaizen said. "How they sparkle in the sunlight and have magic powers and are basically not like any vampires that have ever existed?"

Pause.

"And?" everyone led eagerly.

"WELL?" Zaizen yelled, wondering why no one was understanding how he got from Point A to Point B in this thinking.

"I think I understand," Inui said. "You're saying that vampires in this universe sparkle and have magic powers like super speed and super strength. Therefore, Kenya was actually under the false impression that he was a fairy when, in fact, he is a vampire."

"Exactly!" Zaizen said. "Didn't I say that?"

"I don't think your emotions are quite as on the surface as you originally told us they were," said Kai, looking annoyed.

"I still don't understand how any of this pertains to ME," said Atobe as if that was the main topic of discussion.

"Wait, so are you trying to hunt Kenya, then?" Kamio tried.

"No," said Zaizen, looking dramatic. "The werewolves in this town have a pact with the vampires in this town to not hunt them because of some agreement in the past even though their presence disgusts us! They actually just recently moved to this town, clearly out of spite, but they're good vampires, though we expect they'll do something evil eventually, though sometimes evil vampires come through town and—well, I don't know, it's very confusing, that's what it is!"

Zaizen looked like he was going to start hyperventilating because he was getting so overexcited.

"Okay," said Inui, trying to reel everyone back in. "Great. I'm glad we've cleared all that up. But still, things could be worse. I can make a plan that will most definitely make all this go by quicker. Ootori, you have to fly—"

"It's a new moon, I don't have my superpowers right now," Choutarou interrupted.

Inui gave an exasperated sigh and face palmed.

"It's fine," he said. "I still have another plan. Taka and Kirihara, you two go into the woods and find Shiraishi. He couldn't have gone very far."

"Why do we have to do it?" whined Kirihara.

"Because you two have horses and it will go faster," Inui said as if he was talking to a duo of idiots.

"I didn't complain," mumbled Taka, taking offense to the fact that Inui spoke to him in the same condescending manner he spoke to Kirihara.

"Zaizen, you go to the mansion and bring Kenya back here," Inui said.

Zaizen only gasped. "How dare you ask that of me," he said. "How dare you even THINK that…of me!"

"I thought you guys had a truce with the fairy-vampires?" Kite reminded him.

"I told you it's complicated," said Zaizen.

"Fine," said Inui, still looking unruffled. "Hiyoshi and Shinji. I choose you two because you can fly on brooms and probably see the whole town if you fly up high enough, and then fly towards the largest house which isn't near any other houses."

"I guess we can do that," said Hiyoshi.

"And take Oshitari too," said Inui.

"Why?" demanded Oshitari. "Because I'm Kenya's cousin?"

"No, because you're a detective and not Atobe," said Inui. "But I guess also because you're Kenya's cousin."

"Fine," said Oshitari, looking annoyed.

"Take one of the walkie-talkies!" said Bane.

"They didn't even work last time," David said. "I think they're a lost cause."

"Take one just in case," said Inui as he handed one to Shinji.

"What about us?" asked Kirihara.

"That would be pointless because we only have two," said Inui as he protected the second one like he was being paid for it. "Now you all go as fast as you can so we can hurry up and get the mission."

So the five people who had jobs all left at the same time, whether it be on horseback or broomstick. Zaizen only stood there angsting some more, looking all dramatic and thoughtful, as if the thought of having to spend time with a vampire just disgusted him. Which it did.

"I'm Jackal," said Jackal, and now officially everyone has said at least one thing in this chapter. WHEW!

**//////////**

**So everyone choose sides! Are you Team Zaizen or are you Team Kenya? THERE WILL BE T-SHIRTS!! But not really.  
However, depending on YOUR responses, the outcome of the mission will be decided. (Do you see how I went all passive voice there just like Stephanie Meyer?--not that this is a Twilight parody or anything. Any similarities are just coincidences.)**


	65. Romantic

Chapter 65- Romantic

"And so, since you wandered off like an idiot, we had to come look for you," Kirihara finished explaining.

"I don't think the explanation was really needed," said Shiraishi with a frown.

"Well, we might as well head back," said Taka with a shrug.

He and Kirihara turned their horses around and began trotting off as Shiraishi only stood there looking irritated. He cleared his throat to get their attention, and they finally stopped their horses and looked back at him.

"Why aren't you walking?" Taka asked curiously.

"Doesn't it seem to make sense to you guys to let me ride on one of your horses with you?" Shiraishi questioned, stomping over to them.

"Oh, Forehand doesn't like it when other people ride her," said Kirihara, waving his hand dismissively in Shiraishi's direction while also lovingly stroking his horse's mane.

"What's your excuse?" Shiraishi asked Taka.

"Um…" Taka said nervously. "You see, the thing with Horse is…well, you know… he's just…"

Taka trailed off because truthfully, he just didn't want to share.

"Besides, isn't your horse gay or something?" Kirihara asked.

"What?" Taka demanded, sounding ultimately outraged. "No! Why would you even think that?"

"Well, he rejected Forehand," Kirihara said.

"That's not true," said Taka. "If you remember correctly, Forehand started going after Yuuta's Pegasus because she's shallow, and she did this right in front of Horse, who showed her nothing but love."

Kirihara thought hard to recall this. "Oh yeah," he said with a nod. "And Yuuta's Pegasus was the gay one."

"Yeah," said Taka, chuckling slightly.

"Never mind!" said Shiraishi, throwing his arms up in the air frustratingly. "I don't want to ride EITHER of them!"

He started storming off in the other direction, leaving Kirihara and Taka standing there looking like they didn't really care because, in reality, they DIDN'T!

Meanwhile, Oshitari, Hiyoshi and Shinji had quickly and conveniently come across Kenya's house in a fashion that was just as convenient as it was for Taka and Kirihara to conveniently stumble across Shiraishi in the woods. Things are just so gosh darned convenient in this universe.

"Which brings us back to our initial question, which was asking something along the lines of why you would run away just when we were all about to be in the same area so we could get the mission?" Oshitari said rather calmly as he sat in a grand living room with Shinji and Hiyoshi, sitting across from Kenya who looked exceptionally dazzling, but it's not as though that was out of the ordinary.

"I already told you," said Kenya dramatically but still very velvety, as he leaned against the wall and practically doubled over because he was so dramatic. "There werewolves hunt us fairies, so whenever I sense them coming, I have to run away before they get me!"

"Yeah, about that, you're not a fairy," said Shinji. "You're a vampire."

"PFFFFFFTTTTT," Kenya said. (Though I'm not sure if that's really something you SAY… it's more like a sound effect.)

"It's true, apparently you're a vampire," said Oshitari.

"If I'm a vampire," said Kenya, doing quotations with his beautiful, dazzling fingers. "Then why is it that I sparkle? Hm?"

"I have no complete answer to that question," Oshitari admitted.

"Anyway, I'm sure now that your teammate knows that YOU'RE the vampire, he'll not fight you or kill you or anything," said Shinji.

"Or tear you limb from limb, like he wanted to," Hiyoshi added.

"Wait, my teammate?" Kenya inquired as he finally stood up straight, revealing the true extent of his dazzling shape.

"Yeah, he's someone who plays on Shitenhouji," Oshitari said.

"Which one?" Kenya questioned dazzlingly.

"Uh…" Oshitari, Hiyoshi and Shinji looked at each other quizzically.

"I don't know, he's kind of a dick…?" Shinji tried.

"That could be ANYONE!" Kenya exclaimed in a voice that was dazzling.

"Look, STOP being so dazzling!" ordered Oshitari, sounding very frustrated.

"What's wrong?" said Kenya, flashing his gorgeous and dazzling smile. "Do I dazzle you?"

"I think we've already established that you do," Oshitari said. And maybe he was jealous.

"But wait a second…" Shinji said randomly. "When we were initially split up into the two groups, you expressed to everyone in MY group that you knew who this other person was, yet now you're saying that you didn't even know this other person was a werewolf…"

Kenya stared at Shinji vacantly, then looked at Oshitari and asked, "I didn't catch any of that. Explain to me why he's British?"

"I don't feel obligated to do that," Oshitari said simply. Eventually, they got Shinji to repeat himself with more emphasis on enunciation, which in and of itself is a chore.

Once Kenya finally understood, he only shook his head. "This person who is a werewolf and also on Shitenhouji is not the person I was referring to."

"Wait…so there's another person?" Hiyoshi clarified.

"Yes," said Kenya simply but beautifully and with warm eyes.

"So who is this other person then?" Hiyoshi led.

Kenya took a deep breath and then clenched his fist dramatically, gazing out the window with an impenetrable gaze. "I still don't want to say…" he mumbled.

"Wait, so does this mean there are THREE people in this Universe?" Shinji asked.

"That's never happened before," said Oshitari with a shrug. "Kenya, does that mean there's a third group of mythological creatures that are running around?"

"Probably the vampires!" Kenya tried.

"You're the vampire," Oshitari reminded him.

"I'm no vampire," said Kenya, putting his hand over his heart and looking extremely dazzling.

"So if you won't tell us who the third person is, could you at least tell us if there are any other groups of mythological creatures besides vampires and werewolves you can tell us about so we won't be completely wandering in the wrong direction?" Shinji asked civilly.

Again, however, Kenya appeared baffled.

"Who is this third person?" demanded Oshitari.

"I…can't say…" Kenya said as he rested the back of his hand against his forehead and looked as though he would faint.

While Kenya was standing there like a fool, Oshitari took it upon himself to get up, grab his cousin by the collar and slap him around a bit.

"Tell us who the third person is, and then tell us where we can find this third person," Oshitari commanded. "We're taking you back to the others and you will have to mingle with the werewolf whether you like it or not."

Kenya looked at Oshitari skeptically. "You know, we fairies are very strong and basically immortal," he said. "So you shouldn't be threatening me."

"That just now sounded like YOU were threatening ME," Oshitari observed.

"I'm going to go make some popcorn," Shinji whispered to Hiyoshi as he excused himself from the room to find the kitchen.

"We don't have any food because we're fairies and fairies don't eat food," Kenya called after Shinji.

"No food?" whined Shinji and Hiyoshi together.

Oshitari let go of Kenya and sighed heavily. "Let's try to be nice about this," he said calmly. "Kenya, could you at least tell us why you are so averse to making our lives easier? What is the problem with telling us who this last person is?"

"I consider the honor of my very good friend," Kenya replied honestly.

"Good, we're at least getting someplace now," said Oshitari. "Why would this particular teammate have their honor impugned if you revealed their location?"

"Because I look up to this individual…" said Kenya dazzlingly.

"Then, by process of elimination, I have determined who this person is," said Oshitari as he whipped a massive easel out from behind his back, causing Kenya to gasp in a breathless voice that sounded like velvet.

"How did you figure it out?" Kenya gasped breathlessly and beautifully and velvety. Yes, AND dazzlingly.

Oshitari cleared his throat and drew eight nondescript circles on the easel. He crossed four out with confidence. "It's not you, obviously. We also know he's not Shiraishi or that other guy who is the werewolf."

"Zaizen," Hiyoshi said, raising his hand.

"Right, that one," said Oshitari. "This leaves five circles, one of which is that freshman that, although you obviously have a crush on him, I don't believe you look up to him."

Oshitari crossed out another circle as Kenya protested the idea that he might have a crush on their freshman.

"Then, there's those…two…who play doubles," Oshitari continued delicately as he crossed out two more circles. "Let's be frank, shall we? When and if we find them, they will most certainly be in a universe _together_."

Kenya was going to argue, but then he dazzlingly shrugged and agreed.

"This leaves two people," Oshitari said, putting his hands on his hips. "One of them is that massive individual who has enough strength to catapult someone into the stands using only a tennis ball."

"Also, Ishida's brother," Shinji added.

"You two are so not helpful with ANYTHING," Oshitari snapped at Hiyoshi and Shinji who both bowed their heads in shame. Then he looked back at Kenya and said, "I don't think you particularly look up to him either."

"So?" said Kenya with a hint of velvet in his voice. (Who am I kidding? It was much more than a hint of velvet. It was like ten pounds of velvet.)

"This only leaves that…that guy or whatever," said Oshitari as he sighed, looking annoyed. "This cool exposition would have probably been much cooler if I actually knew your teammates' names. But I'm right, aren't I?"

"Well, I'm not going to confirm or deny anything," Kenya decided.

"Are you talking about Chitose, Tachibana's childhood friend?" Shinji inquired.

In response, Kenya gasped dramatically.

Oshitari took the hint. "I suppose I AM talking about him," he said. "Now that we know, Kenya, why don't you just tell us where we can find this Chitose fellow?"

"I can't tell you," said Kenya as he dropped to the floor and slouched to the side, looking WAY too dramatic.

"Why can't you tell us?" asked Hiyoshi. "What could possibly be the issue? Is he a leprechaun or something?"

"No, it's something much, much worse," said Kenya.

Everyone paused and tried to think of something worse than a leprechaun.

"A centaur?" Oshitari tried.

"No, not a centaur!" Kenya snapped.

"A mermaid," Hiyoshi said rather confidently.

"Are you kidding?" said Shinji confusedly. "Being a mermaid would be cool. You'd be able to swim around underwater and see all sorts of magical things that aren't part of this world."

"But he would be a merman anyway," Oshitari added.

"No," said Kenya, shaking his head. "No he wouldn't."

"Wait, so he's a mermaid?" Oshitari questioned.

"No," said Kenya.

"I'm sick of playing twenty questions," Hiyoshi sighed.

"I think I know the issue," said Shinji, standing up. He pointed at Kenya and said, "He's a _human_, isn't he?"

Kenya only nodded solemnly.

"What's wrong with being a human?" Oshitari asked.

"Nothing," Shinji answered. "But there are two types of humans in the world."

There were only a few more blank stares before the light bulbs finally clicked on.

"Chitose's a WOMAN, all right?" said Kenya since he clearly couldn't take the silence anymore.

If it was in Oshitari, Shinji or Hiyoshi's characters to chuckle warmly at this notion, they probably would have done it just then. But, coupled with the fact that they're all rather stoic AND they didn't really know who Chitose was so therefore didn't have a reason to care too much about him, they took it rather well.

"That's not too big of a problem," Oshitari said.

"It's not?" Kenya said dazzlingly.

"No, now tell us where to find him and we'll just be on our way," said Oshitari.

"You do know where to find him, don't you?" Hiyoshi confirmed.

"I know where he lives," said Kenya. "Actually, sometimes I go over to his house and watch him sleep. Then sometimes I follow him around without telling him. And when we're at school, I watch him go around every corner!"

"That's really creepy," said Hiyoshi.

"It's ROMANTIC!" Kenya protested.

This immediately made the others back off.

"Romantic…?" Oshitari said uneasily.

"Yes," said Kenya. "I can't help it…he smells so floral and delicious!"

"Flowers are delicious…?" Shinji questioned.

"Sometimes I find myself trying to sneak up on him just so I can get another whiff… it's like a drug addiction! And I'm like the drug addict! So he's like…my perfect brand of heroin!"

"Oh," said the other three, still backing away.

"That's awesome that you've fallen in love with one of your teammates," said Oshitari, at a loss of anything else to say.

"I haven't fallen in love with him for real," said Kenya, clenching his fist dramatically. "I can't help it! I try to stay away from him because I'm so embarrassed, but he is kind of pretty as a girl."

"All right, great," said Oshitari. "On that note, I don't want to be riding on the same broom as this one right here."

"You guys can't tell anyone else about this, got it?" Kenya threatened.

"Oh sure, us? Come on, we're trustworthy," said Hiyoshi dismissively.

"I have a difficult time trusting people with accents…" Kenya said dazzlingly.

"Look, Kenya, it's probably just this universe doing these crazy things with your head," Oshitari tried. "Right? Other people have been prone to doing rather insane things based on the universe they've appeared in."

"Yeah, like those guys who eat brains," Shinji pointed out.

"Really?" said Kenya, sniffling slightly.

"It's not THAT weird, I guess," said Oshitari, though obviously it wasn't true. "You just go find Chitose and try not to ravage him before bringing him back to that place you ran away from like a coward, okay?"

"Okay…" said Kenya a little reluctantly but completely dazzlingly.

"Don't you mean ravish?" Hiyoshi asked.

"No," said Oshitari. Then he looked at Kenya again. "We'll see you in a few minutes. Try to be strong." He lightly punched Kenya's shoulder to be supportive, but Kenya still looked depressed.

Meanwhile, by this time, Taka, Kirihara and Shiraishi had met back up with the rest of the group.

"It's Zaizen!" Shiraishi exclaimed as he took a moment to be gleefully happy that he finally had a friend to pal around with.

"Apparently Kenya's here too!" said Zaizen.

"And Chitose," came a crackling voice from Inui's walkie-talkie.

Inui looked at the walkie-talkie, then at everyone else, and then held it up to his face. "Oh?" he inquired.

**////////////**

**WHAT A TWIST. I'm tallying up the sides, and could you believe the votes are tied? A third of reviewers are Team Zaizen, a third are Team Kenya, and a third are Team Murder, meaning they just want everyone dead. Interesting, folks. Very interesting.**


	66. Missions

Chapter 66- Missions

"The thing I don't get is why the three of them are here in this Universe, and I had to appear in my own Universe all by myself," said Shiraishi since it was CLEARLY all about him.

"The thing I don't get is why Kenya doesn't know the difference between vampires and fairies," Zaizen said, crossing his arms.

"What I don't get is why any of you are trying to convince me I'm a vampire when I'm so OBVIOSULY a fairy," Kenya retorted.

"What _I _don't get—" Chitose started but he was interrupted immediately by everyone laughing at him because he was a gender one would not normally expect him to be. "Stop laughing at me!"

"WE weren't laughing," said Oishi sympathetically as he pointed to himself and Fuji.

"I hate my life," said Chitose, covering his face embarrassedly.

"It's all right," said Fuji. They all decided to form a little support group.

"What I don't get is why we haven't received our mission yet," said Inui, sounding annoyed as he stared down at the remote. "Oh wait, here it is."

"What is it?" asked everyone excitedly.

"Um…" said Inui, appearing confused. "It says 'Avoid any and all conflict, plot progression or character development at all costs'."

"That makes sense," said Kenya.

"How does that make sense?" demanded Shishido. "How are we supposed to complete a mission that gives us no clues of how to complete it?"

"It told us what the mission was pretty straightforward," said Zaizen. He looked like he was going to continue speaking, but he abruptly turned to Kenya and gave him the evil eye. "I hate vampires so much."

"Good thing I'm not a vampire," said Kenya as he metaphorically told Zaizen to talk to the hand.

"Maybe you guys shouldn't fight," said Chitose.

"Oh all right," said Zaizen and Kenya as they both frowned. Kenya looked distinctly dazzling, by the way.

"That's right, you two should continue mentioning the notion of fighting, and then continue mentioning the notion of stopping the fight before it begins," said Inui. "That's a good way to avoid plot and character development, isn't it?"

"That's pretty much how everything happens around here," said Kenya. "We're not exactly going to be changing anything."

Suddenly, the remote bleeped. Everyone confusedly looked at Inui, hoping he had some kind of explanation for the noise that did not normally happen. Inui finally took the initiative to actually look at the screen and, when he did, he seemed startled.

"Did we already complete the mission?" Kirihara asked hopefully.

"No…the mission has changed…" Inui reported.

"Let me see that," said Atobe as he was clearly feeling a little bold because he opted to swipe the remote away from Inui. "It says 'End the conflict between the vampires and the werewolves'."

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" shouted Zaizen and Kenya as they immediately got all up in arms and ready to smack a bitch.

"But that is directly contradictory to the previous mission," said Inui. "I don't see how there is a possible way we can accomplish both of them."

"What if—?" Chitose began but he was interrupted by another bleep from the remote.

Silence ensued. Atobe was not feeling so bold anymore, so he cautiously relinquished the responsibilities to the remote back to Inui.

"Now it's telling us to defeat the Volturi," Inui said. He was hardly finished reading the screen when it bleeped again and his eyes widened. "Make a baby?"

"WHAT?" demanded everyone.

"No, it's back to the first one," said Inui finally. "Avoid plot development et cetera."

They all waited for the mission to change again.

"Wait, so do we have four missions or do we have one?" asked Marui.

"This has never happened before," said Taka uneasily.

"All those missions are things we always ALMOST do pretty often in this universe," said Chitose. "Except for the making the baby one. I don't know where that came from."

"Maybe we're supposed to split into four groups and each group will complete each mission," said Kenya. "Me and Chitose will be one group."

"Kenya, I don't want to tell you again to stop following me around," Chitose warned as Kenya leaned over and started sniffing his hair. "And stop smelling me!"

"You smell so good though!" Kenya whined.

"Kenya, really?" said Oshitari, looking embarrassed for sharing the same last name as him.

"Anyway, it's pretty clear that I'M supposed to be in a group alone with Chitose," said Zaizen.

"No, also…not that," said Chitose rather definitively.

"Why aren't you impressed by my physique?" Zaizen practically screamed.

Chitose slapped his forehead.

"Wait a moment," said Inui. "Am I incorrect to assume that both Zaizen and Kenya have their own deep affections for you while you're in this female state?"

"What a delicate way to say that," said Chitose, looking annoyed.

"We can't help it!" yelled Zaizen and Kenya, and then they got angry with each other for saying the same thing at the same time and started to have a showdown in the background. Or, rather, a stare-down, all the while THINKING about having an actual showdown.

"I guess different Universes can do different things to people," Inui theorized. "Some universes give people magic powers, other universes take away basic motor functions."

"Aww," said Ryoma, bowing his head in shame. Prince of Failure.

"Or the insatiable need to eat brains?" Yagyuu offered.

"That too," said Inui. "This universe must have given both Kenya and Zaizen not only the need to constantly fight each other, but also fight for your affection, Chitose."

"I suppose," sighed Chitose.

"At least you weren't cursed with the inexplicable attraction to one of them," Shiraishi said as he had a strangely easy time wrapping his head around these concepts.

"Yes, I sure am lucky," said Chitose. He looked behind him at his two teammates staring each other down in competition, and then he dramatically reached out his arm in their direction as a single tear streamed down his face. He clenched his fist and drew it back in to his heart and turned his back to them just as they looked up and saw his dramatic gesture.

Of course, everyone else saw it too.

"Not you too!" Shiraishi exclaimed as he grabbed Chitose and tried to shake the drama out of him.

"I try to hold it back most of the time…" Chitose explained. "But sometimes it comes out in dramatic little bursts like that."

"Don't ever do it again," ordered Shiraishi. "As your captain, I COMMAND it."

"All right, fine…" said Chitose, but he looked very heartbroken at the thought.

"But now I'm curious as to which one he loves!" whined Eiji.

"Yes, why don't you tell us?" asked Kenya as he literally appeared behind Chitose looking all ominous, white and dazzling.

"Think of what's best for you," added Zaizen as he looked equally ominous, but not nearly as faint-inducing dazzling.

"We have to settle this once and for all!" said Kenya. "A DUEL!"

"But the mission says we're not supposed to advance the plot in any way!" Momo said frantically.

"Actually, it says we're supposed to resolve the conflict between the vampires and werewolves, so maybe a duel would be better," Inui said.

"Why does the mission keep changing?" demanded Kaidou as if there was nothing else in the entire world that would frustrate him more. "Can't it just stick to one stupid, cliché and boring mission? Why does it keep jumping around to various other missions without bringing a real conclusion to any of the other ones?"

"We don't know," said Kamio, putting a hand on the shoulder of his fellow soccer playing compadre.

"Maybe you two should fight while the mission still demands it," Jackal suggested. (Yes. It was Jackal. Even Jackal has to say stuff sometimes. Hiyoshi can't be the ONLY random person to say random stuff.)

"We should take sides!" exclaimed Gakuto.

"Why?" said Oshitari, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"It'll make it more interesting for us," Gakuto said with a shrug.

"Personally, I feel as though this half of the group should support Kenya, considering we met him first," said Bane as he gestured to the entirety of St. Hyoukakhoujiga which had instinctively separated themselves from the others because they have a superiority complex.

"I'm down with that," said David, clearly because he was feeling especially gangster in that moment.

In response, Ridomigaku decided they would support Zaizen for the exact same stupid reason. They met him first.

"But I will not support either of you," Shiraishi said. "I don't support fighting amongst my teammates."

"So what team will you support?" Eiji practically shrieked in a manner which suggested Shiraishi's inability to choose a side based on who he encountered first was a catastrophe.

"I support Shitenhouji," said Shiraishi, putting his hand over his heart.

Chitose just decided to slap him.

"I suppose you'll be choosing a side, then?" Shiraishi questioned, undeterred by the fact that he was just slapped.

"I have no interest in perpetuating this fight for my affection," Chitose said rather clearly, but then he looked over at where Zaizen and Kenya were both standing ominously, ready to fight, and then reached out his hand and looked epic again.

"Stop it!" Shiraishi warned him.

"Will there be t-shirts so we can show our support to our designated teams?" Hiyoshi pondered, because he still is the go-to guy when it comes to lame random commentary.

"We can make t-shirts when we get back to the Band Universe," said Inui since he didn't actually care and wanted to get on with the battle before the mission changed again.

"When are they going to fight?" Niou demanded impatiently after an elapsed time of about four hundred pages. "There's so much buildup! You'd think the battle would just happen already!"

"You'd think," Marui commented.

"Wait, the mission is now to defeat the Volturi again," Inui remarked.

"But we were actually going to fight!" said Zaizen even though they obviously weren't going to do it anytime soon.

"I'm confused as to why you're acting as though I know what a 'Volturi' is," said Atobe because, contrary to what Shiraishi believes, it's actually all about Atobe.

"Obviously the Volturi are ancient evil vampires," said Chitose, rolling his eyes as if the fact that no one else knew what they were was despicable.

"I don't want to fight ancient evil vampires!" whined Jirou. "If I made a list of things I wanted to do, then fighting ancient evil vampires is one of the LAST things on the list!"

"But it is on the list, apparently," Gakuto pointed out.

"If I listed everything in the entire world," Jirou said. "So of course it would be on the list. It would be on the way bottom, though."

"But I thought it was supposed to be a list of things you wanted to do," Gakuto reminded him.

"This conversation is actually making me dumber," said Inui.

"I think that's a little harsh," said Saeki in his typically good natured sort of way.

Inui's remote bleeped so he looked at it and sighed. "Now the mission is the make a baby," he announced, still sighing.

"What does that even mean?" Chitose questioned. Then he realized everyone was looking at him. "Hey! Stop looking at me!"

"We're looking at you because you're the one who just recently said something and we're paying attention because we're good friends!" said Choutarou.

"Yeah!" said Kai and Kite at the same time even though that's probably not in their personalities to say something like that, it's not like it matters or anyone even remembers them or cares about Higa.

"This has been the most pointless and absolute waste of anyone's time EVER," Fuji decided.

Inui cleared his throat and showed off the remote. "The first mission again. Don't advance the plot or develop characters or anything."

Everyone was getting rather irritated with this lame-ass mission changing bullshit.

"Oh wait," said Inui.

"NOT AGAIN," bellowed everyone.

"No, look," Inui said, raising his hand to silence them. He showed them the screen which said, 'Mission Complete.'

"What?" Itsuki said simply. There didn't really need to be anything more than that.

But Shinji chose to elaborate with, "What a weak, anticlimactic waste of anyone and everyone's time. We have gained nothing and learned even less, and if anything, we have all become worse people because of this entire universe."

Everyone stared at him.

"I still didn't catch any of that," Kenya remarked.

Inui rolled his eyes (or maybe just his EYE considering he only has one, supposedly) and pressed the button so the white light would consume them and get them out of this sorry excuse for a universe.

There was tentative discussion and vague remembrances as everyone tried to remember which universe they were in.

"What's this?" Zaizen demanded in outrage. "Why am I wearing a SHIRT?" He ripped the shirt off of himself and exposed shirtless body to the world.

"Everything resets after each universe, so even if you die, you'll—" Inui began to explain, but he was distracted and blinded by the amount of sparkling emanating from Kenya.

"I told you guys I was a fairy," said Kenya definitively as he basked in all his sparkly glory.

"Yikes," said everyone, especially Oshitari who couldn't even bear to think of the unmanliness that was his cousin.

"I'm still a girl," said Chitose, looking very displeased.

"Get used to it," said Oishi. "Right, Fuji?"

"I know which Universe this is!" Fuji said, ignoring Oishi and suddenly switching out of Creepy Mode and going into Happy-But-Still-Creepy Mode. "This is the Yuuta Universe!" Then he switched seamlessly to Angry-But-Still-Creepy Mode. "Which means Mizuki is also here."

"And Yuuta's gay Pegasus," Taka added begrudgingly.

"That horse related love triangle is almost as awesome as this Shitenhouji related love triangle," remarked Shishido as he looked over at Kenya and Zaizen who were both pretending to square off against one another again while Chitose looked upon them dramatically.

"Having my teammates here is not as awesome as I expected it to be," said Shiraishi, crossing his arms and pouting like a spoiled child.

**/////////**

**Oh Twilight. There are no words. Don't worry, the epic battle between the werewolves and the vampires will continue. Maybe one of these days Kenya will actually figure out what he REALLY is.**


	67. Segregation

Chapter 67- Segregation

"And that is when I said, 'Well no sir, what exactly am I supposed to do with this enormous import of majestic chairs when my royal castle is already extremely furnished? I should have your head removed for that!'" Mizuki chuckled as he recounted one of the most boring stories of all time. But then he looked a little thoughtful. "Turns out, it doesn't seem as though the guards knew I was joking and ended up taking his head off. Oh well!"

He was received by a chorus of slapped foreheads.

Mizuki dabbed his face elegantly with a napkin as they finished up their scrumptious meal. "So, before we get into Frantic-Mission-Completing-Mode, can I just take a moment to say WTF?" Mizuki said as he pointed at Saeki, who naturally got depressed because people point to him and say WTF all the time.

"There are plenty other people here who weren't here the first time around," Saeki reminded him as he gestured towards all the other people.

"I know, but you're just the most noticeable for some reason," said Mizuki, rubbing his chin. "As if your presence is the most outrageous, for some strange reason."

Fuji suddenly slammed his hand down on the table and cleared his throat as if someone had been making fun of HIM.

"Thanks, Fuji," said Saeki, his lip trembling slightly.

"Where is Yuuta?" Fuji demanded.

"Yuuta?" Mizuki said, looking confused as if he didn't have any idea who Fuji was talking about. "OH! HIM! Well, I couldn't say for sure. It's not as though I'm his babysitter. I don't have my eye on him every minute of the day."

"Well you should," said Fuji, as much as it pained him to say it. "You're stuck in a strange universe and had no way of knowing for sure how long it would take for us to get here. You should have been keeping an eye on him!"

"Wow, Fuji, I must commend you," said Inui. "That was surprisingly level-headed when speaking to Mizuki about Yuuta."

"I'm ALWAYS level-headed," said Fuji.

Everyone discreetly coughed, _BULLSHIT,_ and then avoided eye contact.

"He'll be back by nightfall!" Mizuki announced. "My people and Yuuta's people are at a bit of a tentative peace agreement for the time being. Yuuta and I worked it all out a couple of weeks ago. We're both so diplomatic."

"You're both the monarchs," said Oshitari with a raised eyebrow. "Your people don't have a choice."

"That statement is full of very much truth," Mizuki said with a satisfied nod. "For the time being, would you all like to clean up and get some new clothes?"

"No," said Chitose very firmly, crossing his arms and looking like a spoiled brat.

Everyone else looked at him confusedly and then turned back to Mizuki. "He doesn't speak for all of us," Kaidou said in a surprisingly delicate tone.

"What's the matter, Chitose?" Kenya asked as he knelt beside Chitose and situated himself in such a position so he was standing by the window and the sun was on him so he glittered like vampires so often do.

"I hate it here," said Chitose, trying to be strong. "I just want to go back to Phoenix."

"Even though I'm not in Phoenix?" Kenya asked.

"Well, maybe I could get used to it here," Chitose revised.

"Stop it!" Zaizen commanded as he merely stood in the general area of where the other two were. "You're no good for Chitose, Kenya! Don't you see that?"

"Don't make me choose between the two of you!" commanded Chitose.

"Hold on!" Mizuki exclaimed, waving his arms.

Everyone stopped staring blankly at Shitenhouji and looked at Mizuki since he was demanded attention so selfishly.

"WHAT is all that?" he questioned, clearly referring to Shitenhouji.

"Let me explain," said Shiraishi. "They're just sort of…stupid. Right now. For a little while."

"Oh," said Mizuki with not one, but TWO raised eyebrows.

So Mizuki dismissed them all because he was tired of looking at them. They didn't argue because they didn't feel like looking at Mizuki anymore either.

Naturally, they segregated themselves based on which tennis teams they play on once they got to the rooms they were permitted to stay. Hyoutei, Seigaku and Rikkai Dai each claimed their own rooms. Rokkaku took their own room too, but of course they invited Atsushi to join them even though he technically should be hanging out with his St. Rudolph friends now. Shitenhouji, with their count up to four, announced that they got their own room as well, armed with the argument that Rikkai Dai only had one more member than they did. No one really felt like arguing with them and allowed them to take their own room.

This left Fudomine and Higa, the two biggest joke teams in the world. Well, in comparison to Higa, Fudomine's not quite that huge of a joke, but realistically…yeah. Since no one was paying attention to them and everyone else had already gone into rooms without speaking to them, Higa and Fudomine shrugged at each other and decided to room together.

With Hyoutei…

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWNNN!!" Jirou exclaimed as he dropped down on the bed and immediately fell asleep.

"Um…it's the middle of the day," said Hiyoshi, but it was useless to try to convince Jirou of anything besides sleep.

"You know, I didn't have my powers the last time we were in this universe too!" said Choutarou, putting his hands on his hips.

"Don't worry," said Shishido. "It'll be night soon."

"Maybe we should just all take a nap to pass the time," said Oshitari. "That way, we'll all be well rested when we have to complete whatever mission we'll get in this universe."

"Are you just trying to avoid the questions which I am inevitably going to fire at you?" Atobe asked.

"What questions would those be?" Oshitari retorted.

"You're cousin," said Atobe. "He's ridiculous."

"That wasn't a question," Oshitari pointed out.

"The issue I have is this," Atobe continued, ignoring Oshitari. "Considering the two of you are family, there may or may not be a fairly strong chance that you share similar ridiculous qualities. I want to let you know that if you ever exhibit the same behavior as him, I will promptly have you removed from the Hyoutei Regulars. Forever."

"That's harsh," Gakuto interjected.

"So you're walking on very thin ice now," Atobe warned.

"You did not ask a single question throughout that monologue," Oshitari said.

"That's strike one," Atobe said definitively.

Meanwhile, with Rikkai Dai…

"I don't know about you guys, but I'M exhausted!" Kirihara announced to his teammates as he sat down on one of the beds.

"We don't sleep," said Marui proudly as he put his hands on his hips and stood by the window so a gust of wind could blow through his hair.

"It's true, we don't," said Jackal with a shrug.

"We don't either," said Yagyuu. "Cause we're zombies."

"I know," said Kirihara, glaring at Yagyuu and Niou as if it was their fault that they were zombies.

"I have been meaning to ask you this, Kirihara," Niou started as he sat down next to Kirihara on the bed. Kirihara immediately stood up and walked away from Niou and decided to choose a new bed that hadn't been touched by rotting flesh. "What exactly are you supposed to be, anyway?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kirihara questioned.

"You look like you're part of the Village People," said Niou.

"I am NOT part of the Village People," Kirihara said, looking ultimately offended. "Clearly I am an outlaw."

"Oh, so you're a cowboy, just like part of the Village People," said Marui since he wasn't about to let Kirihara dissing go by without joining in on the fun.

"Guys, maybe we shouldn't mercilessly make fun of Kirihara," Yagyuu suggested.

The others looked at him, wide eyed and slightly offended.

Then they all burst into hysterical laughter.

"You had me going there for a second," said Niou as he wiped a tear from his eye, which caused that eye to pop out.

"How could we possibly let a moment pass that didn't involve making fun of Kirihara?" Jackal chuckled.

"Stop making fun of me!" Kirihara complained.

"Oh Kirihara," said everyone else.

Meanwhile, with Rokkaku AKA The Team That Loves Sea Activities…

"What are we supposed to talk about?" Itsuki asked his teammates.

"I don't know," they all answered.

Silence ensued.

"By the way, why are you still hanging out with us?" Ryou demanded of Atsushi.

"We admitted him back into Rokkaku as an honorary member," Saeki reminded him.

"I thought the deal was that as soon as we found Mizuki and Yuuta, you would have to go hang out with THEM," Ryou said.

"I can't hang out with them now," said Atsushi, sounding a little whiny. "Yuuta's not even here and Mizuki doesn't want us near him anyway."

"You COULD go into the leftover people room," Bane said with a shrug. "You know, the Higa and Fudomine room."

"I don't want to go in with that room!" whined Atsushi even more.

"No one should have to spend more time with Higa and Fudomine than absolutely necessary," David said.

"Okay, I admit, it was a little cruel…" said Bane.

"No, I think that's what he should do," Ryou announced. "St. Rudolph is just as useless as Higa is."

The others gasped, but especially Atsushi.

"Okay, okay, maybe not as useless as Higa…" Ryou reasoned. "But at least as useless as Fudomine."

"Fair enough," said Atsushi. "I'll just pack my bag and be on my way! I know when I'm not wanted!"

So they all watched as he looked around for a bag to pack. Then he realized he didn't have a bag. Then he also realized he didn't have any belongings either. He turned up his nose to the others and stomped out of the room.

"Much better," said Ryou.

"Now what should we talk about?" Itsuki asked.

"Sea activities?" suggested David.

"YEAH!" cheered the others since they loved sea activities so much.

Meanwhile, with Shitenhouji…

"How I dislike the smell of wet dog!" announced Kenya as he strategically placed himself in the window so he could be all sparkly like a dazzling vampire.

"Filthy bloodsucker!" shouted Zaizen, pointing at Kenya dramatically.

"I am going to smash my head against this wall as hard as I can until I don't have to listen to this anymore," Shiraishi said as he turned around and faced a wall. He really was prepared to do it, too.

But, apparently no one was taking him seriously. Chitose was standing uselessly watching as Zaizen and Kenya just looked at each other like they were about to fight, but they probably never would.

"Um, hello?" said Shiraishi. "I just said I'm going to hit my head repeatedly on this wall. Doesn't anyone care?"

"Are you really so starved for attention that you're going to bother us right now?" demanded Zaizen.

"Yes," said Shiraishi honestly.

"Well, stop it!" Kenya commanded. "We're in the middle of something very important right now!"

"You've been doing the same thing since the second we got you all together!" Shiraishi said. "And Chitose, you've just been standing there! Why don't you stick up for yourself or something?"

"Because there is a gaping hole in my chest, preventing me from doing much of anything aside from sulking," said Chitose.

"Is there really?" Shiraishi asked, actually genuinely interested in seeing a gaping wound.

"Well, metaphorically, but yes, it pretty much is really there," said Chitose.

Shiraishi slapped his forehead with both his hands. "This is unacceptable," he said. "I'm putting my foot down. I am captain of this team and I demand you all show me the respect I deserve! And that respect that I so deserve includes paying attention to me instead of remaining all wrapped up in this thing here that you're all doing. Got it?"

"We didn't ASK for this!" his three teammates basically shouted at him.

"You know, I can't believe that I actually wanted to find you guys!" said Shiraishi. "I PREFERRED being in the leftover people group!"

With that, Shiraishi stomped back to the door, opened it up and then slammed it shut. The other three looked at the door for a few seconds, and then went right back to their faux duel.

Meanwhile, with Higa and Fudomine…and St. Rudolph…and Shiraishi…

"Then they said I wasn't allowed to hang out with them anymore…" Atsushi complained to his new BFFs just as Shiraishi entered.

"What are you doing here?" questioned Kamio. "You have three teammates!"

"And you argued for five minutes about whether or not your team was big enough to deserve their own room," Shinji added.

"Yeah!" said Kai and Kite.

"Well, the three of them are rather preoccupied with their own drama," said Shiraishi. "So I've actually chosen to spend time with you people rather than others from Shitenhouji, which is the best team in the world."

The other five only looked at him and didn't say anything.

"What, no argument?" Shiraishi questioned.

"Well, how are we supposed to argue with that?" Kite asked. "We're on HIGA."

"And Fudomine," Kamio continued.

"And St. Rudolph," Atsushi finished.

"True…" Shiraishi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Say, would you five be averse to rallying behind me as I attempt to take control of the group and become supreme captain of all the teams?"

There was silence.

"How would you do something like that?" Kai questioned.

"I need to acquire the remote," said Shiraishi. "I know how it works. I'd be able to organize everything much better than Inui ever could."

"I don't know," said Kamio. "I mean, I don't have a problem with how Inui is doing. We've always completed missions with him in charge."

"Yes, but it's about time we got a new leader, right?" said Shiraishi. "With the support of the Leftover People AND Shitenhouji, I'm sure we could rally the other teams as well. Hasn't Seigaku been in charge long enough?"

The others looked at each other, then back at Shiraishi. "All right," they said with shrugs.

Meanwhile, with Seigaku…

"That evil conniving Mizuki no doubt is hiding Yuuta from me…" Fuji said as he spent his time plotting many deaths.

"I do get the feeling that Mizuki is hiding something from us," Inui agreed.

"Why would you encourage that?" Momo questioned of Inui.

"I do not believe he is hiding Yuuta," Inui revised. "But I don't think things are going quite as well as he is implying."

"What makes you think something like that?" Taka asked.

"He seemed rather hasty in dismissing his from his presence," Inui said. "I can't say for sure, but I getting the feeling that something is going on that he doesn't necessarily want us to know about."

"Why would Mizuki want to hide something from us?" Oishi wondered.

"Because he wants to keep Yuuta all to himself!" Fuji announced.

"But…why would he hide something from us that isn't Yuuta?" Oishi tried.

"He wouldn't," said Fuji. "It's all about Yuuta."

"Apparently so," Kaidou noted.

"Well, actually, it kind of is!" Eiji said optimistically. "Once Yuuta gets here then we'll knock another number off the counter and get the mission! How many people do we have left to collect, Inui?"

"Not including Yuuta?" Inui said as he checked the remote. "Fourteen."

Any optimism in the group deflated at that point.

"That's still so many," whined Momo.

"Of those fourteen, we know of nine people," Inui continued. "So that means there are five people in new universes."

"Let's hope they're all in the same universe together," said Ryoma. "I mean, we just got to a universe with three people in it, so maybe there will be five people in the next one."

"Not likely," said Taka.

"FAIL," said Momo.

"Aw man," said Ryoma sadly.


	68. Horse Orgies

Chapter 68- Horse Orgies

Yuuta was minding his own business, flying around on his sexually ambiguous Pegasus, when he caught sight of something occurring in the world below him. Curious, he decided to fly down. He was about halfway there when he changed direction and rapidly began flying upwards again in order to escape certain doom.

"YUUTA!" Fuji yelled, waving his arms crazily as Yuuta flew in the direct opposite direction. Then he looked at all the other tennis players standing idly by and demanded, "Why did he fly away? Did he not see us?"

"I think he did see us, which is probably why he flew away," Momo tried with a shrug.

"That makes no sense at all," Fuji said definitively.

Apparently Fuji had totally forgotten about all the abuse Yuuta frequently received from everyone else based on his inability to communicate. Yuuta hadn't forgotten, of course.

Eventually, Yuuta did return once he acknowledged that he wouldn't be gaining anything by ignoring them for any longer. He had to endure several hugs from Fuji, and then had to show everyone that he still did not speak their language.

"But I thought you learned how to when we were in the Future Universe last time," Atsushi reflected.

Of course, Yuuta only shrugged because it's not like he could understand anyone anyway.

"It's all right, I can teach him all over again!" Fuji exclaimed happily. And Yuuta only made a face that was like: !

"Well, now that we're all here in one place, all we have to do is wait for the mission to come," Saeki deduced. Then he felt someone staring at him. He glanced around hesitantly, and then noticed that it was Yuuta who was staring at him, and pointing as well. "Someone explain to him why I'm here."

"At least he didn't say WTF," said Ryou supportively.

"He said some kind of equivalent to it in his language," Mizuki felt like he needed to share.

"KING MIZUKI! KING MIZUKI!" David came sprinting out of the castle, flailing his arms around foolishly and looking quite ridiculous. He ran all the way to Mizuki and nearly collapsed from exhaustion as Mizuki patiently waited for him to collect himself and speak.

"Speak," Mizuki ordered once he ran out of patience.

"There's a robbery," he said.

"A robbery?" Mizuki demanded, horrified. "Someone dares rob ME?"

"I think I know what's coming," said Bane, crossing his arms in anticipation for the punch line (GET IT?)

"Yeah!" said David. "There were two clothespins holding up a pair of pants!"

No one was very happy with that interruption. Even Yuuta instinctively knew that something really stupid was just said and joined in on the beat down.

"All right, that's enough Rokkaku and St. Rudolph," Inui announced. "We're now going to pay attention to me. We have received our mission."

"What is it?" asked someone who is not on Rokkaku or St. Rudolph. It was probably Hiyoshi. Or Jackal. Let's go with Jackal.

"The mission is to squash the Elvin uprising," Inui read.

"Squash?" Gakuto repeated skeptically. "Does it really say that?"

"Yes, it does," said Inui, showing the remote to Gakuto just to prove it.

"All right, fine," said Gakuto.

"Perhaps Yuuta can tell us about this Elvin uprising?" Inui suggested, gesturing to Yuuta who was still pointing at Saeki while looking confused because no one had explained the situation to him just yet.

"Allow me to explain what we need of him," said Mizuki, acting like a huge hero as he snapped his fingers to get Yuuta's attention as if he was some kind of distracted puppy. Then he proceeded in telling him the mission, which got a very surprised reaction from Yuuta, because clearly he did not know anything about this supposed uprising! And he told Mizuki this, and Mizuki relayed the message to everyone else as well. "Yuuta does not know anything about this uprising," Mizuki reported.

"We gathered that by the look on his face," said Kirihara, but then he became extremely distracted because his horse was no longer standing by his side.

This set off a chain reaction of course, because Taka then noticed that his horse was no longer at his side, and Yuuta then noticed his Pegasus, Tenba, was also missing!

"Um…where are they?" Taka questioned. "Why are all three of them missing?"

"Your gay Pegasus is a bad influence on Forehand!" Kirihara practically shrieked, pointing dramatically at Yuuta who could only jump in surprise because as far as he was concerned, Kirihara had just suddenly screamed at him for no reason.

"Now, now, let's not jump to any conclusions," Taka said, probably just because he was most fearful for his own horse.

"Really?" said Atobe. "_Really_?"

"What are you so outraged about, Atobe?" Oshitari asked in such a way that suggested Atobe had trained him to ask that question whenever he demanded _Really_?

"We're really having this discussion," said Atobe. "We're really standing here while those three hypothesize about where their horses are when we're supposed to be thinking of ways to squash an Elvin uprising. Really."

"Really, guys," the rest of Hyoutei chimed as they looked disapprovingly at th horsemen.

"Why do we set aside time for Shitenhouji to act like fools, but we can't set aside time to wonder about our horses' well being?" Kirihara yelled angrily.

"Because those three can be idiotic in the background and we can just ignore them," Kaidou said, pointing at the three members of Shitenhouji (you know the ones) who were standing in the distance having a dramatic almost-showdown. And, since it was sunny, Kenya was sparkling like it was nobody's business.

"I hate them…" Shiraishi said, glaring at his teammates, and then moving to stand amongst his new leftover people friends.

"ANYWAY!" Eiji suddenly exclaimed. "Back to our mission! I'm wondering, is there any way to go about squashing an uprising without throwing a stick of dynamite into their headquarters during a meeting? Because the idea of squashing the uprising without murdering anyone just sounds PEACHY to me!"

"No one cares what you think," said Shishido.

"I care what you think, Eiji," said Oishi, taking preventative action to keep Eiji from going into full out Angst!Mode.

"We _could _just eat their brains," Yagyuu suggested, looking totally serious.

"Or we could not do that," suggested Ryoma.

"I wish my soccer playing abilities would come in handy in more missions," Kamio sighed longingly.

"And I wish I had my superpowers so you all could take advantage of them in the same way you do in every other universe!" Choutarou added.

Inui cleared his throat, so everyone stopped talking. "Thank you," he said. "I don't remember saying I wanted to hear other people's plans."

"This is a team effort," announced Shiraishi. "But, clearly you can't appreciate how hard everyone else work in order to complete these missions! Well, I think it's about time a new leader stepped up to the plate! What do you all say?"

"Shut up," said everyone.

"Continue, Inui, but try to be less rude, would you?" Oshitari requested.

"Very well," said Inui, readjusting his pirate hat. "Mizuki, please tell Yuuta to return to his Elvin kingdom and find any clues or indications that might lead us to the Elvin uprising. Once we know where it is, we'll go from there."

"We're going to throw a stick of dynamite into their headquarters, aren't we?" Eiji inferred, his lip quivering.

"There, there, Eiji," said Oishi supportively. "Just don't think about it."

"I might have an idea that doesn't involve killing people," Shiraishi said, perhaps just trying to win over the pacifists, but he was only hushed again.

"Shiraishi, I am moments away from silencing you for good," Fuji said. "I will kill you so hardcore that you will not come back to life in the next universe. Got it?"

Shiraishi stared at Fuji and felt understandably horrified. He mumbled something under his breath about being superior at tennis, and then something or other about ecstasy, but then he was finally quiet.

"Well, that worked," said Inui. He was also chilled by Fuji's threat even though he wasn't on the receiving end of it.

So Mizuki turned to Yuuta and explained what was going on to him, and then told him to flutter off to learn as much as he could about the uprising. However, there was a distinct problem because Tenba was STILL missing.

"See?" said Kirihara. "I told you it was important! We should have taken some time to go find the horses in the first place! Now there's no telling where they've gone!"

"I don't want Horse to get involved in anything he'll regret later," Taka said woefully, looking as though he was seconds away from fainting.

"You all have to stop putting horse orgy images in my head," Jirou warned.

"No one was thinking about horse orgies except for you!" yelled the entirety of Hyoutei, but they were probably just mad at him for putting the image in their heads too.

"How about we just ask Yuuta to summon his Pegasus with his magic flute?" Choutarou suggested.

And, since Yuuta can understand Choutarou, he clearly agreed with that suggestion and whipped out his magic flute. He played a little tune that made everyone feel very relaxed as they all waited for Tenba to return.

The magic flute seemed to capture Chitose's attention and he came strolling over. "What's going on?" he questioned. "What was that music?"

"Yuuta is using his magic flute to summon his Pegasus," Shiraishi explained.

"Oh," said Chitose, looking Yuuta up and down. "Is Yuuta some kind of mythological creature?"

"No," said Shiraishi.

"Yes he is," said Kamio who happened to be standing right there.

"Oh, well yeah, I guess he's an elf," Shiraishi said.

"Is he dangerous?" Chitose asked.

"What do you mean by dangerous?" Shiraishi questioned.

"I mean, is there always the lingering potential that he might kill anyone who is standing near him if he gets mad or hungry?" Chitose clarified.

"Um…I don't know," Shiraishi admitted. "Why are you asking me this?"

"No reason," said Chitose. "I'm just curious. I find myself oddly attracted to dangerous mythological creatures."

"I'm a genie," said Shiraishi, stepping away from Chitose. "You're not attracted to me, are you?"

"You're not dangerous," Chitose pointed out. "If you were an evil genie, then I probably would be."

"Now, is this just a personal preference of yours that you've never shared with me for obvious reasons, or is this due to the universe experience and the fact that you're…a female?"

"That second one," said Chitose lucidly. "But, if it's not dangerous to my well being to be around Yuuta, then I have no interest in him."

With that, Chitose turned around and returned to the not-duel still happening between Kenya and Zaizen. Shiraishi only grew to hate all of them just a little bit more.

"Here comes Yuuta's gay Pegasus," said Mizuki as Tenba came galloping up over the hill. He went straight to Yuuta as if to say, "I'm here, and you interrupted me from something very important, so whatever you want from me better be even MORE important."

Yuuta actively chose to ignore the message his horse was attempting to convey and jumped on its back. He waved to everyone and implied to them that he would be back as soon as he found out about the uprising, and then took off into the air, disappearing a few seconds later.

Everyone else stood around absentmindedly.

Then Taka raised a very valid question to Kirihara: "So where are Forehand and Horse?"

Kirihara only whimpered sadly at the thought.


	69. War and Peace

Chapter 69- War and Peace

"Wait so explain this to me again. The way you've said it can't possibly be right."

"Say it back to us."

Oshitari took a deep breath as he stared at Kenya who was just sitting there as if he wasn't being totally psycho.

"All right, then. In your universe, you are over one hundred years old. And Chitose is…?"

"Seventeen," Kenya answered gloriously as he sparkled like it was his job.

Oshitari nodded. Then, he searched for the right words. He found them: "And that's okay?"

Before Kenya could answer, Zaizen came out of nowhere, bounding up over a hill with vengeance in his eyes. Kenya decided this was a situation in which he needed to protect his cousin, so instead of attacking Zaizen, he did the next best thing, which was clearly attacking Oshitari by rocketing him across the room and into the wall.

"Dude, what the hell!" demanded Zaizen as Kenya stood there on the defensive. "I wasn't going to attack anyone!"

"Oh," said Kenya as he looked back at Oshitari who was climbing out of a hole in the wall that was Oshitari-shaped with this look on his face that was like, "WTF!" "Sorry about that."

"Why would you even do that?" Oshitari questioned as he rubbed his head.

"To protect you from danger!" Kenya replied with all the chagrin in the world EVER.

"That seemed more dangerous than anything else that might have happened to me!" Oshitari pointed out, sounding a little irrational, but then again, he was just rocketed back into a wall for no reason whatsoever.

"Why did you even come here to bother me?" Kenya questioned of Zaizen since he clearly did not have a legitimate explanation for why he thought Oshitari would be safer sailing through the air than in any other situation.

"They sent me to gather everyone up because we're on the verge of completing the mission," said Zaizen, putting his hands on his hips. "I was just doing my duty, something you bloodsuckers know little or nothing about!"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a vampire?" Kenya argued glitteringly.

"Neither of you ever talk to me again," Oshitari commanded as he hobbled by them when their argument turned into high pitched chipmunk arguments.

Eventually, he made it outside where everyone else was waiting. Then they had to wait for Kenya and Zaizen because they were taking forever. But, of course, no real result came from their bickering. It was only used as unnecessary padding and would lead to nothing productive.

"You two weren't fighting, were you?" Chitose questioned even though they obviously had exchanged some words. "You shouldn't fight over me."

"Thank you for joining us," said Inui rather passive aggressive sort of way as he cleared his throat for attention. They all turned their attention towards Inui, but then Inui told them to turn their attention towards Yuuta who was currently explaining something to Mizuki who would have to translate whatever he was saying. This, naturally, made Yuuta feel awkward that everyone was staring at him, but after a few good thwacks from some rather impatient people, he was back on track.

"So Yuuta says," Mizuki began, "that he went back to the elf palace and asked them if there were any whispers of an Elvin Uprising, and it turns out there are but no one feels particularly threatened by them since it's only a handful of young folk. There is a small base located in the forest that the uprising is meeting in."

"Why is there an uprising anyway?" Marui questioned. "What are they uprising against?"

"The union of my people and the elves," Mizuki replied. "The two races have been segregated for years. It's only because me and Yuuta are such good friends that we decided to become allies."

Mizuki grabbed Yuuta and hugged him, which certainly caught Yuuta off guard and made him almost yelp in fear. And Fuji clenched his fists so hard that his palms exploded in blood.

"So why don't the humans form an uprising that we have to squash?" Gakuto pondered.

"Because the humans are all peasants," laughed Mizuki. "They barely have enough time to finish their chores and pay their taxes, let alone form an uprising against me, their beloved king!" Mizuki chuckled warmly at his success as a dictator.

"Are you saying that Yuuta is not a good leader because people are uprising against his decisions?" Choutarou asked.

And, since Yuuta could understand only Choutarou, he became offended with the notion that he is not an effective Elvin Prince.

"Don't worry, Yuuta, I'll protect you from the world's harsh opinions," said Fuji as he took his opportunity to hug and caress his helpless little brother in the time of his deepest need.

Meanwhile, Yuuta would very much like it if everyone just stopped harassing him. Or stop hugging him. Or both.

"So let's go to this little bunker in the woods, and show them what's what," said Kirihara as he took his stick of dynamite out of his pocket and waved it around.

"And since when is _that _what's what?" Eiji questioned, pointing at the dynamite.

"Since I decided drastic measures were necessary in order for us to be successful," Kirihara announced.

"You have become far too confident in yourself ever since we found more members of Rikkai Dai for you to hang out with," Inui decided.

"Zombies, you have permission to eat his brains!" Shiraishi announced as if he was anywhere near being involved in this conversation whatsoever.

"You don't have the authority to them whose brains they can eat," said Inui.

"No one does!" Yagyuu declared.

"We eat any brains we want!" Niou agreed. They would have had a Zombie Pride Parade right then and there, but they figured that was too troublesome because that involves a lot of walking and zombies, by nature, are not particularly nimble.

"So who should go?" Oishi asked, trying to be productive.

"Are you volunteering, Oishi?" Inui questioned.

"So far from that," said Oishi.

"We should send people who are good at keeping peace," said Inui. "After all, we want to avoid using drastic measures."

"But what if the elves refuse to listen to reason and demand war?" Kirihara demanded. "We should send people who enjoy killing and war!"

"No one _enjoys _that stuff," said Saeki with a bit of a laugh.

No one really responded to that, so Saeki's singular laugh awkwardly died out.

"Hiyoshi and Shinji, how about the two of you go with your broomsticks?" Inui suggested. Although his suggestion wasn't really a suggestion. It was a fact. This is the way things were going to go down.

"We can do that," said Hiyoshi proudly.

"And so who are we sending along?" Atsushi asked.

"Yeah," Ryou agreed. "Peace-keeping people or people who will just obliterate the masses?"

Inui looked back and forth among several different people, weighing the options of what would be the least troublesome course of action. After all, he liked the idea of getting out of there as soon as possible by simply blowing up the base and not dealing with politics, but his inner 'good human' told him that he should try to solve the problem without the use of violence.

"Eiji," said Inui.

"YES!" cheered Eiji.

"And…" Inui continued.

"?" everyone eagerly listened.

"Kirihara," he decided.

"All right!" said Kirihara, raising his dynamite stick triumphantly.

"Why?" Eiji cried.

"Eiji, you're first," said Inui. "You go in and try to convince them to disband the peaceful way."

"And, if that doesn't work, then I go in," said Kirihara, rubbing his hands together diabolically.

"That's a lot of pressure for Eiji," said Oishi supportively. "After all, that's like saying if Eiji fails to make peace, then everyone dies!"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," said Inui with a shrug.

"Do you see how cruel and potentially scarring that is?" Oishi questioned as he attempted to comfort Eiji who already looked like he was going to burst into tears.

"Well, I _would _send Saeki, but he's already proved that he would sooner saw of someone's arm with a chainsaw than talk things through," Inui pointed out.

"Those were special circumstances," said Saeki, crossing his arms. "There were zombies involved."

"Haters gonna hate," said Yagyuu and Niou like gangsters.

"What about me?" Choutarou asked. "I'll go to keep the peace in Eiji's place if he's too stressed to take that kind of responsibility."

"No!" said Eiji dramatically. "I want this responsibility! I can do it! I can convince them of peace! I pride myself on my ability to deliver speeches of inspiration, and if I can't inspire them to peace then who do I think I am? I can do it, as long as I believe in myself!"

Everyone wiped tears from their eyes because his speech was so moving.

"Save it for the Elvin uprising…" Oishi said supportively as he rubbed Eiji's shoulders.

"I'm ready," said Eiji, pounding his fist into his palm as a symbol of peace.

"So am I," said Kirihara with a sideways smile as he held up his dynamite.

"Should Yuuta go too?" Mizuki asked since Yuuta had clearly been wondering what was going on and asked for an explanation.

"Yeah, probably," Inui said as an afterthought.

Kirihara and Eiji each mounted a broom with the wizards who took off into the sky and headed towards the forest. They were soon followed by Yuuta who was riding his gay Pegasus.

"You know," said Kenya randomly but also very velvety. "I'm good with dealing with these kinds of situations. And I can read minds."

"You can read minds?" Inui questioned.

"I can too," said Zaizen. "But only of other werewolves."

"Then no one cares," said Inui to Zaizen and then turned his attention back to Kenya. "Why didn't you tell us you could read minds?"

"I thought it was common knowledge that fairies could read minds," said Kenya with a shrug.

"First off, there is no cannon in any story or fairy tale that says fairies can read minds," said Inui, since he obviously checks for that kind of thing. "Second, you're not a fairy, so shut up. This mind reading ability will be really useful for when we're looking for people."

"There's only one mind I cannot read…" said Kenya as he ignored everything Inui said and then looked back at Chitose, reaching out for him dramatically. Chitose paused a second, then returned the silly gesture.

"How dare you!" Zaizen shouted.

"I am never letting any of you forget how stupid you're being at this very moment," said Shiraishi as he tried to hide his face from his fellow tennis players as if there was any way to save face now.

No more of this ridiculous conversation took place because there was a rumbling and a distant BOOM. Everyone looked at each other with confused expressions, as if they couldn't even begin to fathom what that could possibly be.

Inui then heard his pocket beep so he took the remote out and saw that it said they had completed their mission.

"That was fast…" he remarked.

No one really knew what had gone down because perhaps it wasn't even on their radar.

But then Atobe explained when he said, "I think Kirihara might have jumped the gun a bit, so to speak."

"Oh that Kirihara!" laughed everyone as they thought of him immediately dropping his dynamite on a group of unsuspecting Elvin youths.

* * *

**A/N: Back again, guys. Sincerely.**


	70. Nothing Happens

Chapter 70- Nothing Happens

"So, Taka, I thought of this great way for us to complete missions faster than ever," Fuji said to his bestest friend as everyone waited for the Kirihara, Eiji, Yuuta, Shinji and Friends Team to return.

"Really?" Taka asked excitedly. "Maybe you should tell Inui!"

"It's still in its early stages, so I want to perfect it before I tell too many people," Fuji confessed.

"So let's bounce ideas off of each other," Taka offered.

"My thoughts exactly," said Fuji. "So this is my idea. Most of the time, we spend most of our time waiting around or, in some cases, some people actually make it more difficult for us to complete missions by getting in the way or getting kidnapped or something like that."

"That's true," Taka agreed. "That does happen pretty often."

"So I figure we can all draw straws each time we enter a new Universe," Fuji continued. "There are perhaps four straws that are short. Everyone who gets a short straw kills everyone else, and those short straw people have to complete the mission. That way, when all they finish completing the mission, then everyone will wake up in the new Universe and it will feel like no time passed at all! Am I right, Taka?"

Taka looked at Fuji uneasily, trying to decipher whether or not he was being serious.

Finally, he decided that it couldn't possibly be serious and the only proper way to react to a proposition like that was to laugh hysterically at it.

"Oh Fuji!" Taka laughed. "Can you imagine?"

He continued laughing as Fuji remained stone faced. He hoped that if he just kept laughing, Fuji would eventually join in.

And, thankfully, Fuji did add a couple of chuckles. "Oh Taka, I knew you would find that funny!"

The two of them stood there awkwardly laughing at one another, then they hesitantly cleared their throats.

Luckily, that was when the Mission Group returned.

"So how did the peaceful negotiations go?" Jackal asked as he high fived Kirihara.

"We didn't even LAND!" Eiji exclaimed, weeping.

"It's true," Hiyoshi added pointlessly. "We didn't."

"You're welcome," said Kirihara.

"It's all right, Eiji!" Oishi exclaimed as Eiji ran over to him to sob.

Yuuta said something to Mizuki that he wanted translated.

"Yuuta says that he doesn't like that Kirihara murdered his people," Mizuki reported. Yuuta glared at Kirihara.

Kirihara raised an eyebrow dismissively. "Tell Yuuta to get over it," he said.

Mizuki looked at Yuuta and translated. Then Yuuta said something to Mizuki. Mizuki turned back to Kirihara and said, "Yuuta says he will eventually make you pay."

Kirihara looked even less impressed. "He's an elf with healing powers," he said. "How exactly does he expect to make me pay?"

Mizuki translated and then Yuuta thought a moment. Then he told Mizuki exactly how he planned on making Kirihara pay.

"Make me proud, little brother!" Fuji said hopefully, crossing his fingers that Yuuta came up with something colorful.

"He says he will fire an arrow through the back of your head sometime when you're not expecting it," Mizuki said.

As soon as Mizuki stopped speaking, Yuuta held up his bow with this look on his face that clearly said, "Go on and think I won't do it."

Kirihara was understandably a little horrified. And Fuji was proud.

Inui was glad that he didn't have to add commentary because they were all engulfed by a white light and transported to the next Universe, though he was rather fascinated by Yuuta's dedication to his people and his desire to murder Kirihara in a rather violent fashion.

"Oh boy!" cheered the entirety of Seigaku. "It's the Band Universe! That means Tezuka is here!"

"AND TACHIBANA!" shrieked Shinji and Kamio as they foamed at the mouth and fainted.

"Is it almost sunset?" sighed Choutarou, looking up at the sky. "I have been without my powers for a painfully long time, all because of that New Moon Universe."

"Is that what we're calling it?" Shishido questioned because he was the only one paying attention to Choutarou's random ramblings.

"Well, we could call it Stupid Werewolves and Vampires Universe," Choutarou said with a shrug.

"I like that name," Oshitari commented because people on the other side of him were talking about things not related to Hyoutei and, even though Choutaruo and Shishido's conversation was stupid, he would have rather contributed to it than something that had absolutely nothing to do with him or Hyoutei.

"It's kind of a mouthful," said Gakuto because he likes Hyoutei too. And Oshitari.

"What if we made it an acronym?" Atobe suggested because he, like his fellow Hyoutei buddies, was unconcerned with matters involving Tezuka. In fact, he was quite intentionally avoiding matters involving Tezuka.

"SWAV Universe?" Jirou made a sincere attempt to pronounce the word as he also joined in on the Hyoutei conversation.

"It's no SCUBBU," Shishido said, rolling his eyes.

"Well—" Hiyoshi started, but then Hyoutei suddenly decided to disperse because they didn't care what Hiyoshi had to say.

"All right, so did everyone hear the plan?" Inui asked the large group.

"We weren't really listening," Atobe said, raising his hand and speaking for his fellow Hyoutei teammates who were above the conversation.

Inui glared at Atobe, but there wasn't really any way for him to know behind the glasses and the eye patch.

"NONE of you were listening?" Inui confirmed.

"Well I was," said Hiyoshi with a shrug but no one listened to him.

"I'm not explaining it again," said Inui.

"That's your loss then," said Atobe with a shrug.

"How is it _my _loss?" Inui questioned.

"Because now you just have seven people out of the loop, and we might be inclined to ask annoying questions while you want to press forward," Oshitari answered.

"And if any of my superpowers were involved in your plan, then you should probably change them," Choutarou advised.

"Why would we need your superpowers for this universe?" demanded Bane as if that notion just offended him. But he was probably just jealous that he didn't have superpowers. "We're in the Band Universe! What could happen here?"

"You already briefed them on the Universe we're in?" Gakuto questioned, raising not one but TWO eyebrows.

"Yes," said Inui. "Believe it or not, the world keeps turning even when Hyoutei is not paying attention to the conversation."

Hyoutei gasped dramatically at the thought.

"Can we hurry up and find Tachibana yet?" Kamio asked impatiently.

"All right, let's go," said no one in particular.

They all started walking, and Hiyoshi took it upon himself to ask his fellow wizard exactly what the plan was so he could tell his fellow Hyoutei teammates (if they so desired to listen to him).

"There isn't a plan," Shinji replied.

"Then what are we doing?" questioned Hiyoshi.

"We're just going to their houses," Shinji said.

"Do we know where those are?"

"Yeah. We spent a week in this Universe last time. Remember?"

"No…"

"It's the Band Universe. Tachibana plays the guitar and Tezuka sings. Ootori played the keyboard, and the twins Ryou and Atsushi sang. Then we all forced Oishi to join the band. Oh yeah, and Eiji was Band Manager."

"This is sort of ringing a bell," Hiyoshi admitted.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" asked Jackal as he walked over.

"Nothing really," they both chimed.

"Aww…" said Jackal sadly. He knew he was lame if the two other random characters didn't even want to include him in on their useless expositional conversation.

"Let's split into two groups to make this go faster!" Shiraishi announced. "Half the group will go to Tezuka's house and the other half will go to Tachibana's house!"

"I will go to Tachibana's house," Chitose announced at the same time Fudomine chorused the same line. "I'd prefer to go alone," Chitose said harshly to Kamio and Shinji.

"I'll go with you," said Kenya dazzlingly.

"No, I will!" interrupted Zaizen.

"As long as you two don't fight over me," said Chitose with a flamboyant shrug.

By this time, Kamio and Shinji had already fainted because someone would dare suggest the notion that they would not be seeing Tachibana ASAP.

"Why do YOU want to visit Tachibana?" someone from Higa asked Chitose. (Why is Higa even in this story?)

"Because Tachibana is my childhood friend," said Chitose. "How could you not remember that? It was a big thing. Very dramatic. It involved tennis quitting and blindness. Really? Doesn't ring a bell?"

Throughout all this, everyone else was looking at him skeptically.

"Trust me, okay?" Chitose demanded.

"I trust you," said Kenya dazzlingly.

"I trust you more!" Zaizen argued.

"I trust both of you so much!" said Chitose.

"Okay, fine, you three go and get Tachibana," said Inui because he just wanted to get rid of them. "Actually, why doesn't all of Shitenhouji go and get Tachibana?"

"Because I don't like to be associated with them," said Shiraishi frankly as he crossed his arms.

"WE'RE getting Tachibana!" argued Fudomine as they recovered and then ran off towards Tachibana's house as if they were in a race with the people from the SWAV Universe.

"Hang on, Spider Monkey!" said Kenya as he grabbed Chitose and then started running off like a fool. Zaizen yelled at them, then turned into a wolf and ran off, leaving his shattered clothing scattered about on the ground.

Everyone else was left to ponder what had just happened.

"Spider monkey?" Itsuki finally questioned.

"You know, I was wondering the same thing…" Saeki commented.

"Dear god," said Shiraishi, throwing his arms up into the air. He was plum out of commentary.

"Makes me kind of glad that we ended up in the Zombie Universe after all," Niou said to Yagyuu.

"Why would you say something like that?" questioned Yagyuu

"We could have ended up in the SWAV Universe," Niou said.

"Good point," Yagyuu agreed.

"I like that that name is sticking," said Choutarou to Shishido. His favorite doubles partner ever just gave him the thumbs up.

"I guess that leaves the rest of us to go to Tezuka's house," said Inui even though he wished he had split the groups up so it was everyone goes to Tachibana's house except for Seigaku.

Everyone who didn't care about Tezuka only groaned because they didn't feel like walking anymore but then Inui reminded them that the faster they found Tezuka and returned to the meeting spot, the sooner they would complete the mission and go home.

They all just kind of hoped it wouldn't involve another week long training montage.


	71. Distractions

Chapter 71- Distractions

"So, in short, we let our guards down," Tezuka said as he wrapped up quite the long and inspirational speech.

Everyone else was standing idly by except for Seigaku because they were practically swooning over their captain's words.

"Wait, I missed the beginning of that story," Atobe said, inspecting his nails for anything less-than perfect.

"It was sort of irrelevant to everything we're trying to accomplish…" Saeki commented, reflecting on Tezuka's anecdote about this one time in Germany.

"WTF?" Tezuka said simply, pointing at Saeki.

"Zombies!" Saeki exclaimed, gesturing grandly at Yagyuu and Niou. They only jumped in surprise, confused at the thought that Saeki was suddenly frightened by them, but Saeki was actually just trying to bring Tezuka's attention to them. "These two are ZOMBIES! Why doesn't anyone notice THAT first?"

"I had noticed, actually," Tezuka said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I just didn't say anything about it."

"So you just continued your story as if there weren't zombies right in front of you because…?" Saeki led.

"I didn't feel compelled to give them the attention they were obviously seeking by being undead," Tezuka said with a shrug.

"Oh yeah, because we definitely made a conscious life choice to be zombies FOR ATTENTION," said Niou, rolling his eyes. And you know the drill. It popped out.

"So let's check the remote for our mission," said Tezuka, holding out his hand in Inui's direction as his own personal way of saying, "I am the pillar of this team. Hand it over. NOW."

Inui had almost forgotten just how empty he felt when he didn't have absolute power. He would perhaps have to look into that sometime in the future. Still, he knew his place as the most shafted member of Seigaku and relinquished the remote to Tezuka's capable-but-not-Inui hands.

Tezuka stared at the remote, looking unimpressed. "However," he began, "I do find it odd that I'm even holding this. After all, I do recall being told that it had been destroyed."

Tezuka gave Inui an icy glare to show just how disappointed he was.

"I don't think I ever actually said I destroyed it," Inui said, but after receiving a glare that rivaled even Fuji's glares, he added in the same breath, "But I may be mistaken."

"Now why isn't it telling us our mission yet?" Tezuka demanded impatiently, clearly having forgotten the way these things work.

"We have to wait for Tachibana to get here," Oishi reminded him patiently.

"And the rest of Fudomine," added Momo.

"And…" Shiraishi started, but he found he couldn't even finish his sentence because he was so overcome with shame with having to refer to those fools as 'his team'. So, instead, his lip quivered a little bit and he waved his hand, having to cover his face and step away from the group.

Everyone else only chuckled warmly at his pain.

"Also, Shintenhouji is stupid," Bane said tactfully because Tezuka was waiting for an explanation and everyone else was far too busy chuckling.

"That is definitely the word I was use to describe the way they're acting!" David exclaimed.

"Awwwwwllll right!" cheered the entirety of Rokkaku as they jumped up into the air and slapped each other five cause they love sea activities so much.

Tezuka only stared at the way that went down. "None of those guys were here the first time around, right?" he asked of Inui.

"I was!" Ryou interrupted before Inui could respond.

"You're on St. Rudolph," said Tezuka AS IF HE KNEW.

Ryou looked at Atsushi who shrugged and then back at Tezuka.

"We don't even look the same," he said.

"YES YOU DO," said everyone.

"Well, I have decided that the other group is taking too long so we will meet up with them at Tachibana's house," Tezuka said, standing up and scanning just how many people he had to lead, and then he turned to Inui again. "Why did you even split up the groups in such a ludicrous manner?"

"You don't understand," said Jirou. "Shitenhouji is REALLY stupid."

"They're kind of annoying," Marui added.

"Very annoying," corrected Jackal.

"I get the point," said Tezuka.

"No, I don't think you do," said Atobe. "He…SPARKLES."

Tezuka raised an eyebrow, but he didn't dare look too confused or else he might shatter his record of never displaying any kind of emotion ever.

So then they started their journey.

Meanwhile, at Tachibana's house with the most of Shintenhouji and all of Fudomine…

"Oh geez," said Tachibana as he slapped his forehead when he saw what was at his front door.

Of course, he was happy that people had finally arrived in this Universe to take him away from this horrible place that wasn't tennis-centric. But he wasn't happy with what he was being forced to look at.

It was nice for a few seconds because he was assaulted by Shinji and Kamio who leapt into their captain's arms and nuzzled him lovingly. Then he had to look at the three other people who were there for some reason.

First he looked at the giant CGI wolf who was just chillin' on his front door step. Then he looked at the young man who was sparkling like it was nobody's business, and no matter how dazzling he was, it was still disturbing. But then he saw something infinitely more disturbing, which was Chitose. As a girl. WEARING FLANNEL.

"Get all your laughs out," said Chitose because he could recognize when he was being mocked with a mere expression. It wasn't Tachibana's intention to mock his friend, but it was sort of a natural reaction for him when he saw someone as the opposite gender than they should have been.

"Okay, where is everyone else?" Tachibana asked, taking it upon himself to pry his team off his body since they seemed to have latched onto him in a rather permanent way.

"I can hunt them down," said Kenya, adjusting his dazzling collar so more of his neck was showing so he could sparkle more.

Tachibana only stared at him. He felt like he should ask WTF but couldn't bring himself to do it. He was torn between not caring in the slightest and not wanting to even go there.

"If you need something tracked, then I'm the one for the job!" said Zaizen who was now a human and seemed to have accumulated a pair of cut of jeans-shorts and sneakers while no one was looking.

Again, Tachibana decided to let it slide because he really had seen stranger things.

Tachibana shut the door behind him and the group began walking in the direction they had come from in order to meet up with everyone else again.

"So," Shinji began. "When we all reappeared in our Universes again, we all picked up exactly where we left off so it's reasonable for me to assume that the same thing happened here. If that's the case, what did you win for the Battle of the Bands competition?"

"You're in a band, Tachibana?" Chitose questioned.

"Yes, of course," said Tachibana since it was obviously common knowledge.

"The fact that we're in the Band Universe has already been established," said Kamio in that tone that was like, "Oh my god, girlfriend, how do you not know this?"

"I often find myself distracted by…" Chitose started but then he got super distracted by some mythological creatures giving each other a stare down.

"So what happened?" Shinji led Tachibana again.

"Well," Tachibana started. "The crowd wanted an encore, but we couldn't actually give them one considering most of our band was comprised of people from this group. So we just walked on the stage and accepted the money and left even though they were demanding an encore."

"That must have been awkward," said Kamio.

"What must have been awkward?" Chitose asked.

"Leaving the stage while people were demanding an encore," said Shinji. "Aren't you listening? He literally just said that."

"I was distracted," Chitose said defensively as he looked back at the two mythological creatures who had now begun to shuffle along with the group so they wouldn't be left behind.

"Well, either stay distracted or stop getting distracted because we're not going to answer questions we just answered anymore," said Shinji who looked like he was teetering on the edge of performing an Unforgiveable Curse.

Chitose decided not to even dignify that with an answer and turned up his nose to Shinji.

But Shinji was way too fascinated with whatever Tachibana was going to say next to even care. About anything. Ever.

"Are you still in the band with Tezuka?" Kamio asked.

"Well, there isn't really a band to be in," Tachibana pointed out.

"That's true," said Kamio, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I hope we don't have to win another Battle of the Bands competition. I was really just not interested in that whole training montage, no offense, Tachibana."

"Well, I hope we're not in another Battle of the Bands competition because it would be practically an entire year to wait," Tachibana said.

"True," the rest of Fudomine agreed.

At that exact moment, they spotted a large group of people up ahead of them. Thankfully, this large group of people happened to be the rest of the tennis players who were caught up in this crazy whirlwind of an adventure.

Once they all gathered, there were some harsh words exchanged. Tezuka berated Tachibana for taking forever to gather, and Tachibana argued that there was stupidity surrounding him that prevented him from gathering in a more hasty fashion. This made Fudomine faint even though Tachibana assured them that THEY weren't stupid.

Then Shiraishi chimed in because he seemed to know right away what was being referred to when Tachibana spoke of stupidity. He didn't exactly argue, but instead had to point out that they weren't always like this. The rest of Shintenhouji didn't have anything to add.

"So what's our mission?" asked your favorite character, assuming he is present and not Inui considering he's going to speak next and it would be absurd for him to ask a question and then go and answer it.

"Tezuka, you have the remote," Inui said. (It would be even funnier if in this situation, you imagined Tezuka asking the previous question.)

Tezuka held up the remote and looked at the screen.

Everyone waited eagerly for him to fill in the empty silence.

"It hasn't shown up yet," he reported finally.

"Oh," said everyone, disappointed.

"While we're waiting, how about someone explains THAT to me?" Tachibana requested, gesturing grandly towards…Saeki.

Saeki burst into tears and the rest of Rokkaku comforted him in his time of need. Tachibana was a bit taken aback by this reaction, but he only waited for the explanation he desired, and eventually sought out Inui.

Inui looked at Saeki and then back at Tachibana. Then he looked at the stupid members of Shitenhouji, and then back to Tachibana. He raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"What?" Tachibana questioned.

"Those three accompanied Shinji and Kamio to pick you up, didn't they?" Inui confirmed.

"They did," said Tachibana.

"And you went along with it."

"Yeah. I guess. It didn't seem too weird at the time."

Fuji decided to interject at this time. "It makes very little sense to me that you would come back to the group and find Saeki strange when you were picked up by…them."

"Well, it's just weird because he wasn't here the last time around," Tachibana said with a shrug as he continued to gesture at Saeki who was still in the midst of his weeping.

"They weren't here either," said like EVERYONE. They were rather thankful that Shintenhouji wasn't here the last time around too.

Tachibana looked confused at first. Then he turned and observed the trio as Zaizen ripped off his shirt (that he had accumulated out of nowhere and then put on), Kenya stood there reflecting sunlight and Chitose stared vacantly at nothing in particular.

"You know, I think instinctively I knew they weren't here last time," Tachibana concluded. "But it just wasn't processing."

"There's actually a lot of people here this time who weren't here last time," Bane said, crossing his arms. "Like me, for example. Why is that, by the way?"

"Ask Inui," said Momo, glaring at Inui.

"Don't look at me," Inui said, adjusting his glasses. "I only invented a magical remote control that mysteriously teleports people who play tennis to various Universes in which we seemed to have accumulated special abilities based on where we end up. I don't know the exact science."

Then the remote bleeped, which was a good distraction because there probably would have been some argumentation following Inui's most recent statement.

"Here's our mission," said Tezuka.

"What is it?" Itsuki interrupted because he was obviously way too excited for no reason.

Tezuka frowned when he saw the mission. "I don't see how this is fair."

Everyone practically jumped on top of him so they could read the mission as it stated: _Win the battle of the bands._


	72. Hyoutei Murder Squad

Chapter 72- Hyoutei Murder Squad

"So we have an entire year to make the best performance ever," Tezuka inferred.

"This can't be right," said Inui. "They can't actually expect us to hang around here for an entire year just to complete this mission."

"They?" Kirihara questioned. "Who is 'they' exactly?"

"Well, there's no saying, really," Inui admitted.

"So are we really expected to hang around in this universe for an entire year while we wait for the next Battle of the Bands Competition to roll around?" questioned someone like…Hiyoshi. (Hiyoshi actually gets a lot more lines than he should just because he's so utterly random and no one has any strong opinions of him one way or the other.)

Surprisingly, everyone actually kind of listened to what Hiyoshi had to say and pondered the legitimacy of the statement.

"What if we found another Battle of the Bands competition?" asked Marui.

"OR," Fuji continued immediately before anyone could even address Marui's suggestion, "why don't we find some other bands to battle?"

"You mean like an unofficial Battle of the Bands?" Tachibana clarified.

"That probably won't be legitimate," Inui said. "After all, it didn't work when we attempted to have an unofficial Quidditch match against Voldemort instead of waiting for the next official match to start."

"Everything about that sentence offended me," said Tezuka.

"And I just ended up dead because of it," Shishido said in reference to the match against Voldemort as opposed to Inui's offensive statement.

"No, no, no," said Fuji, waving his hand. "I wasn't suggesting that at all. I don't think we should have an unofficial Battle of the Bands competition."

"It sounded like you suggested that," Taka said cautiously.

"I didn't," said Fuji.

"What were you suggesting then?" inquired Tezuka.

"We should find some bands…and battle them." Fuji managed to say these words with a totally straight face.

"You mean…an unofficial Battle of the Bands competition?" Atobe asked. Everyone was a little confused at this circular conversation.

Fuji gave an exasperated sigh and whipped out an easel with a picture of a gun on it. He then took out a pointer from behind his back and pointed at the picture with it.

"We—should—kill—people," he stated simply, hitting the pointer against the picture with each word.

"Why?" everyone questioned rather legitimately.

Fuji threw the picture of the gun off the easel to reveal the mission statement on the next card on this easel he had apparently prepared. "The remote stated that we have to 'Win the battle of the bands," he explained, still smacking the pointer against the new picture. Then he threw that picture behind him, revealing a picture that looked the same except with some minor tweaks: 'Win the Battle of the Bands.' "It did not tell us to 'Win the Battle of the Bands'."

"Those two things sound the same to me," said Bane, feeling stupid that he wasn't catching on, but then he looked around and saw that most people weren't catching on to whatever Fuji was attempting to bring attention to.

"I see," said Inui since he's Inui. And he subsequently felt stupid because he hadn't noticed it first. "The use of capital letters is what Fuji is attempting to draw our attention to."

Fuji nodded and threw the pointer behind him.

"I don't see how the use of capital letters means anything," said Kamio with an overly exaggerated shrug.

"If the mission had said Win the Battle of the Bands with capital letters, then that would imply that we are to win a competition entitled 'Battle of the Bands'," Inui said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully even though he didn't have a beard and the effect of thoughtfulness was almost completely negated because of the lack of beard. "However, because it is lowercase, that implies that we should just, in general, battle bands."

Everyone stood there in absolute silence.

"Hence," Fuji said, whipping the most recent card on the easel aside to reveal that there was another picture of a big gun underneath. "We should kill people."

"All right, no," said Eiji, standing up and looking rather outraged. "This is ridiculous. You all just want an excuse to kill people!"

"Besides!" Choutarou agreed. "If it turns out we're wrong, then we'll go to jail for murder and then it will be impossible for us to win the Battle of the Bands competition next year!"

"It's not like it's a full year anyway," said Oishi optimistically. "It's only about eleven months at this point."

"Let's do it," said Mizuki. "Let's kill people."

"I think we should vote," said Eiji, sounding a little desperate as he stood up. "Everyone who wants to irrationally start killing people who are in a band just to see if that will get us home a year earlier, raise your hand."

Basically everyone raised their hands except for the very small minority of pacifists in the group who should have been obvious at this point.

"I hope you all lose a lot of sleep over this decision!" Eiji whined, crossing his arms and pouting. Oishi comforted Eiji because even though he had voiced his opinion against murdering people, he didn't want to have to be a woman for another year when he could avoid it so he had raised his hand with the others.

"Since it's a battle of the _bands_, this would mean that everyone who was part of Tezuka and Tachibana's original band will have to do the deed," said Inui.

"Whaaaa?" Oishi questioned, looking up and appearing devastated.

"You know, I'll conspire to have other people kill people, but I draw the line at actually physically killing people," Tachibana said.

"But I only fight people if they're evil…" Choutarou said with a disappointed tone.

"Or if it's by accident," Shishido added.

"Yeah," said Choutarou, remembering the many people he had accidentally killed.

"This is absurd!" said Eiji. "Now you're going to force people who don't want to murder people to murder people?"

"I wish I was part of the band…" said Oshitari sadly.

"Eiji, since you are the band manager, I expect your full participation and cooperation," Tezuka said.

Eiji got all wide eyed, then dropped to his knees and dramatically shouted, "NOOOOOOO!" like Darth Vader. After a few more seconds of remaining there when no one would say anything else, he eventually just fainted like a sissy.

"Are you being serious, Tezuka?" asked Inui. "It seems really unnecessary."

"I just wanted him to be quiet," said Tezuka. "He was annoying me with all his counterproductive arguments."

"Fair enough," said Inui, looking rather impressed with Tezuka's problem-solving skillz.

"All this being said," Fuji said suddenly as he once again addressed his easel, whipping the most recent card aside to reveal one with several blank lines on it. The only words written on it were at the top: _"The Pillars."_

"THE?" Tezuka was on the verge of shrieking while still managing to wear his stone faced smug face.

Fuji actually looked a little uneasy as he leaned over and hastily scribbled out 'The' so it only read 'Pillars'.

"What's this for?" asked Kaidou.

"I suggested we have sign-ups for the new band," said Fuji. "We could fill the band with new members. As long as it's all right with Tezuka and Tachibana."

"I don't want to be part of this band anymore anyway," said Tachibana.

"I'll pass as well," said Tezuka, rolling his eyes.

"And we were only in the band for the singing and dancing part," said Ryou and Atsushi AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.

"If there are other people who would prefer to do the killing and murdering, by all means," Choutarou agreed.

"Oh good," Oishi said with a sigh of relief.

"Look at that," said Fuji. "Six spots just opened up on the band."

"Well, I'm definitely signing up," said Oshitari basically immediately as he stepped forward and held out his hand for the pen.

"Write my name up there too," Atobe ordered.

Oshitari hastily wrote both of their names on the easel.

"I'll sign up too," Shishido announced. "I don't have any trouble with it as long as it's for the good of the mission."

"Just admit that you like killing people, Shishido," said Choutarou.

"Well, sometimes," said Shishido. "If they deserve it."

"Jirou, let's put our ninja skills to use for the first time," said Gakuto.

"Yeah!" said Jirou. "We'll sign up!"

"You two?" questioned Oshitari.

"Back in the Ninja Universe, we used to kill people all the time," said Jirou as if what he was saying was lol-worthy.

"It's our specialty," Gakuto agreed.

"I'll be the last one!" Kirihara said excitedly.

"Wait, no," said Shishido, practically smacking Kirihara away from signing up. "It looks as though we're forming a Hyoutei murder squad. Hiyoshi should be the sixth member."

"No," Fuji interrupted before Hiyoshi could even speak. "Everyone knows that every band needs a girl."

"That's true," everyone said with a sigh.

"So, therefore, I will take the sixth spot," Fuji said, writing his name in the final spot. "Oishi has already shown that he is not interested."

"What about Chitose?" Shiraishi questioned. "He's a girl too, after all."

Everyone looked at Chitose who was too busy angsting to even notice anyone was speaking to him.

"The spot is mine," said Fuji.

"That's not fair!" Kirihara whined.

"You can be band manager, Kirihara," said Atobe. "I'm willing to bet that spot is open."

"Yes!" cheered Kirihara.

"Can we still call ourselves Hyoutei Murder Squad?" Jirou asked. "I liked the way that sounded."

"Maybe we should just stay 'Pillars'," Fuji said.

"I won't allow you to tarnish the name of Pillars," Tezuka said.

"Fine, then we can be Hyoutei Murder Squad," said Fuji, rolling his eyes since the rest of the band seemed really excited about the name.

"Hurray!" cheered the other five members of the band.

"We'll be the band's groupies so we can eat the brains of all the people you murder," said Niou.

"We are so famished," agreed Yagyuu.

"You guys seriously eat brains in basically every universe," said Ryoma. "How can you possibly be hungry?"

"Brains aren't exactly filling," said Niou with a shrug.

"So how do we go about this, anyway?" asked Jackal. "Just look around for a band and then battle them? Is that what we're going with?"

"It seems as though that's what we're doing," Marui responded with a shrug.

Yuuta was also standing there with a face that was like '?' but of course Mizuki didn't take it upon himself to explain anything whatsoever.

"Do we even know what the plan is?" David whispered to Bane. "What's killing?"

"I have no idea," Bane whispered back.


	73. Heart

Chapter 73- Heart

Everyone who wasn't in the band decided to go and see a movie while all the gruesome murder went down.

"Okay," said Kirihara as he entered the planning room where the Hyoutei Murder Squad was lounging. He placed a pencil behind his ear and held up his clipboard. "I did some research on other bands in the area."

"Anyone we can murder?" asked Oshitari eagerly.

"There are two bands," Kirihara said, sitting down. "We just have to decide which one we want to battle."

"What are they called?" asked Shishido since that was clearly going to play an integral part in deciding which band to battle.

"The First one is Duck," said Kirihara.

"Oh, I definitely want to kill them," said Gakuto.

"And the other one is Rip My Heart Out Because I Love You," Kirihara finished.

"It's decided," said Gakuto, slamming his hand down on the table. "Let's kill that band."

"Look, I want to kill emos as much as the next guy, but shouldn't we decide who to kill based on whether or not they have any fighters on their team?" questioned Atobe.

But no one could answer because Shishido had suddenly jumped up on the table and whipped a spear out of his utility belt. Everyone ducked for cover as he swung it around and nearly decapitated all of them.

Just when Fuji was going to decide that the only way to deal with this situation was just to kill him, Atobe waved him off and simply said, "Heart!"

No, he wasn't pretending to be on the Planeteers. It just so happened that he was listening to that day Inui told them that the secret word that would spark evil in Shishido's heart was, in fact, the word 'heart'!

Shishido blinked a couple of times and looked around confusedly at the fact that he was standing up on the table holding a spear.

"Uh…did I turn evil?" he asked.

"Shishido turns evil?" Gakuto demanded.

"Yes," said Atobe.

"Don't you think that you could have told us that?" Jirou asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"It wasn't relevant until just now," said Atobe with a shrug.

"Well, sorry about that," said Shishido as he put his spear back in his utility belt and hopped off the table as if it was no big deal what had just happened.

"What exactly prompted him to turn evil just then?" asked Gakuto.

"That word that I said," Atobe replied.

"So if someone says that word then Shishido just magically becomes evil?" Gakuto clarified.

"Stop talking about me as if I'm not right here," said Shishido as if he had any right to be offended.

"Yes, essentially," Atobe said, ignoring Shishido. "So don't say the word."

"Well, maybe we shouldn't go after that second band just because they might end up saying their band name when Shishido can hear," said Kirihara, checking to make sure none of his hair had gotten sliced off when the spear had gone right over his head.

"But I want to kill the emos!" whined Jirou.

"Maybe the band called Duck is emo too," Fuji said with a shrug.

"Kirihara, as our band manager, did your research on these other bands happen to extend to where they're located?" questioned Oshitari rather intelligently. "Maybe we could just decide which band to kill based on whichever one's closer."

"You're very eager to kill people, aren't you?" questioned Kirihara.

"No," said Oshitari even though he was lying. "I just want to get the mission over with, that's all."

"Well, Duck is closer," Kirihara replied. "But Rip My Hea—" Atobe leapt up and covered Kirihara's mouth, pointing at Shishido who was just sitting there twiddling his fingers innocently. "Oh right. Well, and the other band isn't that much further away."

"I still want to kill the emo band," said Jirou. "What are the chances that they'll say their band name?"

"Besides, if they say their band name, we'll just say that one word again to keep Shsihido from going evil," Gakuto added.

"Seems like it's kind of an unnecessary point that we could easily avoid by going after Duck," Shishido suggested.

"No, we're killing the emos and that's final," said Jirou as if he had the authority to make that kind of decision.

Then there was a knock at the door. Everyone looked at each other confusedly and then Kirihara leaned over and opened the door enough. Then they frowned because of who their guests ended up being: two zombies named Niou and Yagyuu.

"Do you have to be here?" Atobe questioned as they strolled in and took seats in the empty places. "I thought you went to see the movie with everyone else."

"We wouldn't waste our time with a movie," said Niou. "Not when there are brains at stake."

"Since we will be eating the brains of everyone who ends up dead, we want some say in what kind of brains we will be eating," Yagyuu added.

"At this rate, probably emo brains," Kirihara said.

Both of them looked disgusted. "Isn't there anyone else?" Niou practically whined.

"We already decided on the band we're going to kill," said Jirou. "So get used to it."

"Fine," said Yagyuu. "With you all restricting when we can and can't eat brains, we supposed we have to take it wherever we can get it. Even if they're emo brains."

"You know, you two could just deal with it and not eat brains," said Oshitari.

"You know, you all could just deal with the fact that we need to eat brains," said Niou. "How about that? Ever thought about THAT?"

"Fine, whatever!" said Gakuto impatiently. "Let's just go and get this over with so we can go to the next Universe!"

"What Universe is next, anyway?" questioned Fuji curiously.

"The Vampire Universe with Renji," said Kirihara. "I remember because last time around, I was still the only member of Rikkai Dai up until this point."

"Did somebody say VAMPIRE UNIVERSE?" someone randomly screamed, filled with outrage.

Everyone turned around and saw Zaizen standing in the doorway, shirtless and breathing heavily as if he had just sprinted all the way over there in the exact moment he had heard Kirihara say the words 'Vampire Universe.'

"What are you doing here?" everyone moaned.

"I detest vampires more than anything else in the entire world!" Zaizen announced as he stomped into the room. "And if you're telling the truth when you say that the next Unvierse we travel to is the Vampire Universe, then I have to do everything in my power to prevent it! Even if it means turning into a wolf! Which I will do!"

Before he had the opportunity to do what he said he would do, Fuji leaned over, grabbed his neck and snapped it so Zaizen fell into a heap on the ground.

Everyone blinked a few times as Fuji wiped his hands off on his skirt.

"So, let's get going," Fuji said as if that hadn't even just happened.

"Okay," everyone agreed as they also pretended as though they didn't just happen.

"Can we eat _his _brains?" asked Niou.

"Please," everyone pleaded because they were quite tired of Zaizen's (and by extension, the rest of Shitenhouji's) shenanigans.

They waited outside the room as Niou and Yagyuu got their fill of brains. A few minutes later, they exited the room, wiping their mouths and looking quite content that they had just got to have a little snack.

"There's a bus that should take us pretty close to where the Band That Shall Not Be Named likes to practice," Kirihara said.

"You really did your research," said Shishido, looking impressed.

"If there's one thing I take seriously, it's murder," said Kirihara.

"Wow," said Fuji. And now _he _looked impressed.

They all got on the nearest bus with Niou and Yagyuu hiding discreetly by wearing trench coats and fedoras, blending in just as well as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles every time they needed to go above ground. And of course it worked.

They didn't even have to wander aimlessly through the neighborhood because Kirihara pointed them right to where they needed to go and, within only a few minutes, they were outside the garage where Rip My Heart Out Because I Love You (AKA The Band That Shall Not Be Named) likes to practice.

"Now, they're just going to be a bunch of music playing emos, so we shouldn't have too much trouble with them," Oshitari said, taking out his gun.

Kirihara pressed the button to the garage so it would open up, then ran back to join the group, throwing his clipboard aside and whipping out his dual guns. Atobe took out his gun as well. Jirou and Gakuto armed themselves with various ninja weapons that they had tucked away. Shishido naturally armed himself with his spear. Fuji readied his neck snapping posture. And, lastly, Niou and Yagyuu stood idly by, licking their lips excitedly.

All this happened as the garage door was rising. However, they were all in for quite a surprise when the door fully opened up and the four members of the band were standing there like they expected someone to face them. In fact, they each had varying weapons at the ready and were wearing matching outfits except in different colors. For all intents and purposes, they were prepared for a battle.

This only heightened the excitement of the Hyoutei Murder Squad because now it wasn't just straight up murder. It really was a battle.

No one wasted any time beginning. The guns went a-blazin and all the ninja stars flew through the air. Fuji was ready to snap the necks of anyone who came near him and Shishido had his spear held high, ready for anything. Their opponents managed to dodge all the guns (because it was dramatic enough) and took their weapons to the masses.

They fought hard and with great courage. But they were no match for the Hyoutei Murder Squad.

The Hyoutei Murder Squad had incentive like it was nobody's business: they wanted to go home and couldn't stand the thought of living in this Universe without tennis for any longer. Sure, the other band's incentive was that they wanted to live, but that just wasn't strong enough.

When they were all dead bodies on the ground, Hyoutei Murder Squad congratulated each other on a job well done.

"And after all that turmoil about if Shishido would turn evil just because of their band's name," chuckled Gakuto.

"Yeah!" Jirou agreed. "They didn't even say 'heart'!"

Everyone immediately stopped chuckling because Shishido's spear was at the ready again and he whipped it around again. Luckily, they all dodged in time, except for Yagyuu who unfortunately got his head lobbed off.

"Aw man," said Yagyuu as if he had just been told there was no swiping allowed.

"HEART!" yelled everyone like a certain Planeteer.

Shishido immediately stopped his evil activity. When he noticed he missed out on a couple of seconds of his life, he replaced his spear where it belonged. "Sorry guys," he said with a shrug.

"I'm the only one who deserves an apology," Yagyuu grumbled.

"We aren't you dead?" questioned Kirihara.

"Because I'm undead," said Yagyuu.

"I thought zombies were supposed to die when you cut off their heads," said Gakuto, raising an eyebrow.

"You're trying to apply logic to this situation right now, I hope you realize," said Oshitari.

"True," said Gakuto.

"We should have taken the remote with us so we could see if that worked," said Fuji.

"There's still an hour left of everyone else's movie," Atobe noted, checking his watch.

"Should we just kill the other band too?" Kirihara asked. "Just to be safe?"

"YEAH!" cheered everyone as they frolicked off to murder some more people for no adequate reason.


	74. Vampire Universe

Chapter 74- Vampire Universe

Following the movie's conclusion (they had gone to see some tennis related movie since apparently there was one out in the theaters at that time), all of our Universe traveling tennis players went to the meeting spot and found the "band."

"We take it you battled to the last breath?" Inui asked as Tezuka held up the remote to reveal that it said 'Mission Complete'.

"That we did," said the Hyoutei Murder Squad proudly.

"It's horrible…" Eiji whined, pouting.

"Has anyone seen Zaizen?" pondered Chitose.

"Forget about him," said Kenya dazzlingly as he looked upon Chitose with this expression that was probably supposed to look like he was madly in love, but instead it only made him look like someone had jabbed a fork into his thigh.

"Say, you all don't have something to do with Zaizen's disappearance, do you?" Shiraishi questioned the Hyoutei Murder Squad, putting his hands on his hips. He only asked because the band had begun whistling innocently with their hands in their pockets.

He didn't repeat his question because he realized everything was a lot less annoying with one less member of his team present.

"I hope we don't end up in another new Universe," said Momo. "I've been excited to go to the Vampire Universe since the beginning!"

"Why?" questioned Inui because as far as he was concerned, HE was the most excited!

"Because I want to see how the Renji is dead situation is going to work out!" Momo said.

"You were just as excited to see how the situation with Oshitari being dead would work out," Taka pointed out.

"Which is _still _weird, might I add," said Oshitari.

"But it's different this time," Momo insisted. "With Oshitari, there was a body. In Renji's case, there's no body! So we can't just walk up to his body and put the remote near that and have that count as finding him!"

"Wait, so why are you excited about that again?" Saeki asked confusedly. "It just sounds really bad, actually."

"We might be stuck in a universe called Vampire Universe," whined Team Higa. Pfft.

"Maybe we should just stay here if that's the case," Shinji suggested. "But then again, we can't really do that because you guys just murdered a band so we'd end up going to jail for either murder or conspiring to murder…"

"Yeah, we might as well go to Vampire Universe," sighed Inui just as the white light started to engulf them.

He had to clear his throat to remind Tezuka to press the button. And when he did, they were warped to their new location.

They fizzled into the new Universe, looking up in the distance to see a big creepy castle. And it was nighttime.

"Hey, it's the Vampire Universe," Mizuki observed.

"True story," everyone who was in the first adventure agreed.

"VAMPIRE UNIVERSE?" Zaizen practically screamed since he clearly didn't care at all about the fact that he had died and his brains were eaten. Then again, he probably didn't know, and neither did anyone else because the Hyoutei Murder Squad and Groupies were going to take that secret to their graves.

"Vampire Universe, eh?" pondered Chitose, looking quite intrigued.

"Why are you looking so intrigued?" Kenya questioned of Chitose.

"There's something about dangerous mythical creatures that is just so attractive to me," Chitose replied.

"But fairies turn you on the most, right?" Kenya confirmed.

"Uh…Kenya, about that," said Chitose uneasily. "I think we need to have a conversation. I did research on Google and you are not a fairy. You're a vampire. Just like everyone's been telling you."

Kenya immediately put his hands over his ears at super vampire speed. "I'm not listening to this," he said.

"I HATE VAMPIRES!" Zaizen continued to shout as he ripped his t-shirt off.

"You three need to stop forever," said Shiraishi.

"I will use my ability to track down, sense, hunt and kill vampires in order to do all those things I just mentioned!" Zaizen declared.

"That extremely unnecessary ability wouldn't also happen to encompass finding vampires who have already been slain, would it?" Inui asked.

"You mean vampires who have already been ripped limb from limb and burned, right?" Zaizen confirmed.

"Um. No," said Inui.

"It wouldn't matter anyway!" said Zaizen. "That's my favorite way of disposing of vampires I HATE! Which is ALL of them!"

With that, he gestured grandly to Kenya who wished he was sparkling but he wasn't because it was nighttime.

"I am _not _a vampire," said Kenya defiantly and dazzlingly.

"Is there anything in your absurd mythology that says vampires can come back to life?" Oishi asked of Chitose since clearly Kenya was not going to listen to reason.

"Well, everyone knows that each vampire as a special power, so I suppose if someone's special power was to bring someone else back to life, then maybe," said Chitose with a shrug.

"It's not like anyone here has that kind of power," said Tachibana.

Then they all looked at Choutarou.

"Do they?" Atobe clarified.

"No, I don't have that power," said Choutarou. "And even if I did, I bet it wouldn't work on vampires!"

"I suppose we can start by finding the place where Renji was slain and…I don't know," Inui said, making everyone temporarily faint at the mere thought of Inui not being sure what to do next.

As they all strutted to the aforementioned location, Bane thought it would be a good idea to ask, "So why'd you guys go and slay him anyway?"

"OBVIOUSLY it was part of our mission!" Jirou yelled as he instantly got way too defensive.

"Woah," said Bane.

"Don't mind Jirou," said Gakuto helpfully. "He got the short straw last time and he had to be the one to slay Renji."

"And then later on, he got to drink my blood," said Jirou. "As if that sort of arrangement is at all fair for me!"

"What?" demanded Niou. "You mean if someone kills us in this universe then we get to eat their brains in the next universe?"

"That is not what we said at all," said everyone.

"The amount of vampire stench in this universe is overloading my senses…" Zaizen complained.

"No wonder you think I'M a vampire," said Kenya as if Zaizen was the only one insisting he was a vampire.

"Here it is," said Inui as they extremely conveniently happened to remember exactly where they were standing when Jirou killed Renji and then equally conveniently happened to find it very quickly.

"Let's hope this works," said Tezuka as he held the remote in the general direction of where the pile of ash that used to be Renji WOULD have been if not for the fact that they are not on the moon so therefore the wind blew it away a long time ago.

Everyone held their breath.

"Actually, you're right," Oshitari said to Momo.

"About what?" Momo questioned since he hadn't said anything recently.

"It is really interesting to see what will happen," Oshitari admitted.

"Damn diggity," said Momo in an extremely in character fashion.

Everyone crossed their fingers in addition to holding their breath, hoping that the remote was just taking a lot of time to react.

"This isn't going to happen," Marui finally concluded.

Everyone let out their breaths at the same time in the form of lamented sighs.

"So are we stuck here forever, then?" asked Kamio.

"We can't give up just because the remote didn't react right away," said Inui. "Let's try going inside the castle and looking around."

"What if we used our vampire-locater to help us find some vampires?" asked Shiraishi, pointing at Zaizen. "None of them will be the person we're looking for, but maybe if he bit anyone, his essence would be lingering in them. Is that an acceptable enough loophole?"

"Considering we've got no other options right now, I suppose there's no reason for us not to try," said Inui. "What do you think, Tezuka?"

"Yes," said Tezuka with a nod. "In addition to that, we should all split up and search the area. Some of us should go in the castle, some of us into the town, some of us in that massive graveyard over there, and some of us sweep the area outside the castle. What do you say to that?"

The question was rhetorical because Tezuka didn't actually care what anyone thought about his plan because it was happening whether they liked it or not.

"So let's just do this the most obvious way," said Inui, taking charge of the tedious work that Tezuka didn't feel like doing. "There are four teams that have five or more players. And there are four teams that have four or less players. The smaller teams combine with the larger teams."

"By that logic, you should take team Higa since you're the largest team and they're the smallest team," said Atobe.

Inui did not look happy to be bested so quickly.

"Fine, we'll take Higa," grumbled Seigaku.

"Aww…" said Higa sadly because no one liked them.

"Hyoutei, since you are the second largest group, would you like Fudomine or St. Rudolph?" Inui inquired. "There're only three of them on each team."

Hyoutei huddled.

"We'll take St. Rudolph because we don't like Tachibana," Shishido finally said.

"Shishido," said everyone on Hyoutei, putting their hands on their hips.

"All right, _I _don't like Tachibana," said Shishido.

"Whatever," said St. Rudolph and Fudomine.

"Rokkaku and Rikkai Dai… you guys both have five members on each team," Inui observed. "One of you has to take Shintenhouji, and the other has to take Fudomine."

Rokkaku and Rikkai Dai each sent out a representative to do Rock, Paper, Scissors in order to decide who had to end up with the stupidness that was Shintenhouji.

"My vampire senses are tingling…" Zaizen said suddenly.

"Hey guys."

They were all in the midst of the tournament (and ignoring Zaizen) when they turned around and saw Renji standing there in his black cloak and his fangs and his real vampireness.

"Um…Renji?" Inui questioned.

"Yes, Sadaharu?"

"Um…what?"


	75. Brutal Murder 2

Chapter 75- Brutal Murder 2

"Well that seems completely plausible," Inui decided following Renji's explanation of how he was not dead which was simple: "I'm Renji."

"Wait, but I still don't understand—" began no one in particular.

"I'M RENJI," Renji repeated, his voice elevating ever so slightly to show the true depth of how irritated he was when someone questioned him.

"Okay, fair enough," said the unnamed person who had dared oppose him.

Momo and Oshitari with especially disappointed because they expected a more thorough explanation of how Renji had come back from the dead. Again. You know, cause he's a vampire. Meaning he died already, and now he's back to life. Kind of. We're not really sure about the exact details of vampires.

"We had this great plan and everything to come looking for you," said Kirihara. "And look! There are lots more people from Rikkai Dai this time."

Renji took this opportunity to look at all the new people.

He had, of course, already gotten a full explanation from Inui. They actually share a secret language composed entirely of eyebrow waggles. Why invent a language based on eyebrow waggles? Who knows. They're Renji and Inui. In fact, they exchanged all the necessary information within the first few minutes of encountering one another.

"Don't even say it," Saeki warned, anticipating that Renji would choose _him _of all people to point at and asked, "WTF?"

"Say what?" Renji questioned, raising his eyebrow (but the secret eyebrow language was not compromised because there are also ear twitches involved in order to avoid confusing the language with skepticism).

"Good," said Saeki, looking relieved.

"Look," said Kirihara, trying to get attention back to the band of Rikkai Dai members that he had assembled, as if he was looking for Renji's approval. Which he probably was. "Marui and Jackal are video game characters."

"From which video game?" Renji inquired, looking the aforementioned members of his team up and down and becoming confused.

"I think we're from our own style of video game," Marui assessed.

"And Niou and Yagyuu are zombies," Kirihara said.

"I noticed," said Renji.

"The undead is the best ever," said Yagyuu.

"We heard a rumor that you got to kill people and suck their blood," said Niou to Renji. "Is this true?"

"This is true," said Renji, eyeing Jirou who immediately jumped behind his larger team members for protection.

"Actually, we're trying this new thing where we don't kill each other anymore," declared Eiji even though that statement has not been approved by the rest of the group at any point.

Tezuka suddenly started clearing his throat and holding up the remote to reveal that they had gotten their mission. And, as it would happen, it was the same mission as the last time they had gone to the Vampire Universe: "Slay a vampire."

"Well, sorry Renji, but it's for the sake of the mission," said Kirihara with an extremely animated shrug. "Anyone got a stake?"

"Hold a second," said Renji. "There are other vampires in this Universe. I have come across them. We should slay one of them."

"But this is faster…" whined everyone.

"And who knows how long it would take to find another vampire!" Gakuto added. "Just let us slay you!"

"How about Zaizen uses that vampire tracking ability he mentioned he had?" suggested Shiraishi, pointing at his three teammates who were having an Angst-Off.

"That's true," said Inui, snapping his fingers. "He's been doing nothing but complain about the fact that there are vampires all over the place in this Universe. He could probably find one pretty quick."

"Or what about this!" exclaimed Momo, looking _way _too excited. "Okay, hear me out, everyone. We all hate Shitenhouji because they're being idiots, right?"

"AHEM," exclaimed Shiraishi. "Three out of four of Shitenhouji."

Everyone stared at him. "Four out of four," Ryoma said, and he got a couple of high fives for his awesome burn though it was common sense and anyone could have said it if they had just been fast enough.

"Whatever," said Shiraishi, pouting and crossing his arms.

"Finish your plan related to how much we hate Shitenhouji," Atobe commanded of Momo.

"Which will eventually lead to me not being slain," Renji added.

"Well, we especially hate Kenya because he sparkles, right?" Momo went on.

"We should slay Kenji," Oshitari immediately filled in the blanks. "He's a vampire."

"He's a vampire?" Renji questioned, pointing at Kenya who was standing there without a cape on and not looking like a vampire at all.

"Yes," said Inui.

"There's another Vampire Universe?" Renji wondered.

"Sort of. Vampires and Werewolves. I forget what we decided to name it."

"_You _forgot something, Sadaharu?"

"That's how little I care about them."

"Why? Aside from his lack of cape, I don't see anything particularly wrong with how—"

"He sparkles," Kaidou interrupted.

Renji would have blinked in disbelief if he ever opened his eyes. "In what context?" he asked.

"When he goes into the sun," Inui replied. "You know how you turn into dust?"

Renji paused. "Yes," he said, sounding quite irritated.

"He just sparkles."

Renji's eye twitched slightly. If there was ever a time that he would open his eyes out of pure rage, this would be it. But he refrained because he was suddenly distracted by the fact that he was being sniffed by Zaizen.

"What are you doing." His question sounded more like a command.

"It's confusing because you SMELL like a vampire, but you don't LOOK like a vampire!" Zaizen exclaimed.

"There's another vampire?" Chitose questioned, breaking away from the Angst-Off that Kenya was currently competing in by himself. He walked over and looked around quizzically until his eyes finally settled on Renji. "You're a vampire?"

"I'm _the _vampire," said Renji.

"You don't look like a vampire," Chitose said. "At least not like the vampires I researched on Google the other day."

"What is wrong with you?" Renji almost demanded.

"Hey, what's going on over here?" asked Kenya as he stomped over once he realized he was currently standing by himself.

"You're a vampire?" Renji inquired.

"No, I'm a fairy," said Kenya.

"Everyone says you're a vampire," said Renji, gesturing to everyone who was remaining helpfully silent this whole time.

"Everyone is wrong," said Kenya confidently.

"He's a vampire," said everyone and then they went back to being helpfully silent.

"What happens when you go into the sun?" asked Renji.

"I sparkle."

"And where do you sleep? In a coffin?"

"I don't sleep."

"How often do you suck people's blood?"

"Never! I only chase deer and drink animal blood!"

"And how do you turn normal human beings into a creature like yourself?"

"With my venom!" Kenya announced proudly.

Renji stared silently at Kenya, and then looked at everyone. "He's not a vampire," he concluded.

"I know how we can clear all of this up," said someone random like Hiyoshi. "What if we just slay him right now and see if the mission ends up complete? If the mission is complete, then we'll know for sure he's a vampire. If it's not complete, then we'll know he's something else. Like a fairy."

"That was actually a good idea, Hiyoshi," Atobe complimented.

"Do fairies have venom and drink animal blood?" wondered Mizuki, asking this question of _Yuuta _of all people, and we all know that Yuuta was just standing there with this face that was like: "?"

"What do you think, Kenya?" asked Chitose. "Are you willing to let them kill you to put this issue to rest? You'll come back to life in the next Universe so I guess it doesn't really matter."

Kenya gave an exasperated sigh and put his hands on his hips like a super hero. "I do not agree with your methods," he said wistfully. "But if this will make people stop questioning my fairyhood, even though I can't imagine why you would think I was something as vile as a vampire."

"Excuse me?" said Renji, looking comically offended that Kenya would dare insult his race.

"Can I kill him?" Jirou asked excitedly. "Doesn't it seem like the most fair thing?"

Everyone whined because they wanted to be the one to kill Kenya, but they had to admit that Jirou had a point since.

"Let's find a stake, then," said Choutarou as he was just about to go searching for the aforementioned object when Shishido reached into his utility belt and handed a stake off to his favorite doubles partner. "Why thank you," said Choutarou pleasantly as he handed the stake off to Jirou who was just giddy with excitement.

"What are you planning to do with that?" Kenya asked skeptically.

"This is the best way to kill a vampire, especially if you don't die in the sunlight," said Renji.

"A sharp piece of wood won't kill me," said Kenya. "The only way to kill me is to rip me limb from limb and burn my body. Also, sometimes, depending on which movie you're watching, if you punch my hard enough, I'll shatter."

"Oh, Choutarou, you could super punch him," Shishido suggested.

"I have a question," said Niou. "If you shatter, are your brains still accessible and, more importantly, edible? Because if not, then I vote for ripping you limb from limb."

"I hate that I have am in a situation where this conversation needs to occur," Oishi sighed.

"WAIT!" Zaizen yelled. Apparently he had decided to take a nap during this entire conversation and now he was awake and noticing that they were devising ways to kill Kenya and he officially wanted in. "Out of everyone here, I hate vampires the MOST, and I also happen to be an expert in killing them! So if you all take a step back, then I will dispose of the disgusting creature!"

"Watch your language," Renji warned as he mentally added names to his hit-list.

Kenya sort of let out a little groan when he saw everyone kind of agree that this particular method was acceptable to them. "Can't it be anyone but him?" he asked.

"Stop being a sissy and let yourself be torn apart and burned," said Tachibana.

"Very well…" said Kenya sadly. "Chitose…don't look. I don't want you to see this…"

"I can't bear to watch anyway…" said Chitose whose eyes were so filled with tears that even if he wanted to watch, he wouldn't have been able to.

To avoid having to show such dramatic scene or describe a sequence involving these characters that didn't have something to do with gazing longingly into each other's eyes, all the action happened in the background.

Everyone else decided to just turn their backs and pretend as though it wasn't happening.

"So is it going to be weird to have another vampire in our posse?" Kirihara asked Renji.

"I suppose," said Renji, though he still wasn't sure if he believed Kenya was actually a vampire either.

"Do you think he'll be your new best friend or something?" Kirihara continued to questioned.

Inui actually leaned over a little bit so he could hear the answer to this question.

Renji only raised his eyebrow at Kirihara, while simultaneously conveying a message to Inui not to worry about something as silly as that.

As they continued to listen to the sound of limbs being torn from a toros, Tezuka held up the remote and stared intently at it. The others leaned in and looked over his shoulder so they could find out the verdict to.

"You know, I've seen fairies, and he didn't really look like a fairy," said Mizuki.

"Yeah well, we've seen vampires and he doesn't really look like a vampire either," Fuji pointed out. And he wasn't just saying that so he could challenge anything Mizuki was saying. He said it because it was legitimately true.

"I have DESTROYED him!" declared Zaizen as he stood in front of a massive bonfire that he was somehow able to start and then maintain in a very short amount of time.

Chitose decided that they only way to deal with this situation was to become completely recluse and horrifyingly emo for like…four months.

Yagyuu and Niou were disappointed because the fire was started before they had the opportunity to inspect him for brains to eat.

"What's the word?" Bane asked Tezuka, referring to the remote that would tell them whether the slaughter was completely pointless or if it actually proved anything.

The remote beeped and displayed "Mission Complete".

"Well look that that," Tezuka commented.

"Hm," said Renji, seeming somehow impressed and with considerable thoughtfulness. "So he is a vampire, then."

Inui felt as though his bestfriendhood with Renji was going to be compromised. And he would have started whining like a dejected puppy right then and there if Tezuka hadn't warped them to the next Universe.

* * *

**Hi guys! This chapter has been halfway completed on my computer for a long time. But, I had to go on a short hiatus because of how complicated my life became following the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. I live relatively close to the affected areas and things have been so insane here in Japan that I have had a difficult time channeling a funny vibe. I hope to be back for good this time and, with any luck, there won't be anymore major natural disasters so I can finish this thing.**

**Thanks for being patient with me, and keep your thoughts with Japan!**


	76. Dissension

Chapter 76- Dissension

Thankfully, they rematerialized in a place that protected Renji from the sun. It would just be silly if he came back to life only to sizzle up right away.

They were in a large, forest area that sufficiently covered up the sun. There was only one type of tree, and most people decided to look around and inspect the area.

"So, Kenya, turns out you really are a vampire," said Oshitari, taking his cousin aside while everyone else discussed what type of Universe they were in.

"I need concrete proof," said Kenya.

"Our mission succeeded when you were slain," Oshitari pointed out.

"But for all I know, you killed me and it didn't work and then you all killed a REAL vampire and then you were able to warp to the next universe!" Kenya declared.

"Why would we lie to you about this?" Oshitari questioned.

Kenya dazzlingly made a dramatic fist and exhaled deeply (and dazzlingly). "I think I knew all along," he breathed dazzlingly. "Somewhere, deep inside my unbeating heart…"

Oshitari waited patiently for Kenya to finish.

While he was doing so, Renji happened to stroll over because he didn't really care about the discussion occurring behind him.

"So you're a vampire and you've been in denial about it all this time?" Renji confirmed.

"Yes, apparently so," said Kenya.

"Well, I can understand where the confusion would come from," said Renji. "What, with the sparkling."

"What am I supposed to do now?" Kenya practically whined. "I don't know how to behave like a REAL vampire!"

"Why don't you teach him?" Oshitari suggested of Renji.

"What?" Renji asked, though he sounded more surprised than actually confused, as if the thought had literally never crossed his mind. "Me? Teach him to be a vampire?" Then Renji looked at Kenya. "Who are you again?"

"I'm Kenya. I'm on Shitenhouji. I'm his cousin. I'm really fast," Kenya replied.

Renji mulled this over a bit. "Very well," he decided. "I will teach you how to be a vampire. But only if you promise to always do exactly as I say."

"Is this really necessary?" Taka asked as he randomly strolled over. He had apparently been eavesdropping because the conversation occurring behind him was not interesting enough to hold his attention. "I mean, there are only eleven people left to find, and even though this is a new universe, it should go by pretty quickly." Then he focused his question on Oshitari and added, "And why would you encourage that kind of behavior?"

Oshitari only raised an eyebrow at Taka's boldness.

"Hey, what is that incredibly random group of four people doing over there?" Tezuka questioned as he gestured for them to come back over.

"We're not incredibly random," said Oshitari. "There's me, and Kenya who is my cousin, therefore we have a connection."

"And we're both vampires," said Renji. "That's _our _connection."

Kenya looked seized with a new purpose. "Yes, I am a vampire!" he announced to the world.

"I guess I'm pretty random though," Taka observed.

"Kenya, I'm really happy that you've finally come to the realization of what you truly are," said Chitose. "And I hope you will pursue your life's dreams over the next few days of behaving like a real vampire. But we're still madly in love, right?"

"Right!" said Kenya. Then he looked at Renji for confirmation. "Right?"

"Sure, as long as you intend to suck her blood later," said Renji with a shrug.

"HER?" Chitose practically bellowed. "I am a MAN!"

"I think you probably should have been more outraged about the sucking your blood part," Saeki advised.

"Don't worry!" Zaizen shouted, jumping in front of Chitose. "I'll protect you!"

"Maybe this is actually the Jungle Universe," Atobe said because apparently conversation that was so boring to everyone else was actually a little interesting to Atobe. "I mean, look. We're in a jungle."

"So all we have to do is look around for Kentarou!" exclaimed Ryou who is on the same team as Kentarou (in case you forgot).

"Awwwwwlllll RIGHT!" cheered the entirety of Rokkaku as they jumped up into the air like Power Rangers.

"I hate Jungle Universe!" complained Shishido.

"You're only saying that because the natives kidnapped you and tried to sacrifice you to their sacred volcano mountain the last time we were here," said Jirou.

"Wow," said Shishido, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I totally forgot about that. I must have blocked that out."

"Then you hate it because the gorillas kidnapped you?" Gakuto suggested.

"I forgot that happened too!" Shishido laughed. "But that's a legitimate reason too."

"Is it because Kentarou kidnapped you and tried to make you his wife?" Choutarou asked.

"That's what I was originally going for, but those other two things were pretty horrible too," said Shishido.

"Geez, what is it with you and getting kidnapped?" demanded Kirihara who randomly got way too offended about something he should have been completely used to by now.

"I didn't ASK for this lifestyle!" said Shishido defensively.

Inui cleared his throat loudly and somewhat rudely. "I hate to be the buzz kill, but we are _not _in the Jungle Universe."

"If you're so smart, then where are we?" challenged Bane.

"I _am _so smart," said Inui. "I'm INUI."

"Then can we move this along?" Fuji asked. "I'm growing tired of being a girl."

"Well, I don't know where we are," Inui admitted. "But I do know it's not the Jungle Universe. Even though we are certainly in a jungle, the fauna is different enough to confirm that it is, indeed, a different jungle. And yes, in case you are wondering, my brain does weigh a lot."

Everyone stared at him. "I want to eat his brain so bad," Yagyuu whispered to Niou.

"I'm glad it's not just me," said Niou, looking relieved.

Truth was, Inui was just all pissed off that Renji was off hanging out with other people instead of helping him figure out which Universe they were in. I mean, he had been SOOO excited about finding Renji, and now that he found him, Renji didn't even CARE!

"If this isn't Jungle Universe, then what Universe is it?" asked Eiji.

"I don't know," said Inui. "All I said was that it _wasn't _Jungle Universe. Would you like me to go through every single alternate universe I can possibly fathom in order to eliminate the possibilities? Because I could do that. But it seems tedious."

"You don't have to do that," said Tezuka.

Inui was getting VERY pissy.

"I think we should just do things the way we always do them," said Kamio with a shrug.

"In your expert opinion, what is that?" questioned Mizuki skeptically.

"I was here the first time around," Kamio said.

Mizuki glared skeptically at Kamio. "I don't think you were," he decided.

"I was," said Kamio. "I was here before you."

"Well, I don't remember you."

"I was in the Soccer Universe."

"I don't remember a Soccer Universe."

"BECAUSE I WAS HERE BEFORE YOU," Kamio said, his voice rising. Tachibana calmed him down by reminding him how their team loves tennis so much more than Mizuki's team.

"Mizuki, don't you have a magic scepter that tells the future?" questioned Ryoma before Mizuki could say anything else to do with his random argument with Kamio.

"Yes," said Mizuki, pulling The Eye out from behind his back.

"WHAT THE HELL, MIZUKI," yelled everyone.

"I _could _use it to tell you all what Universe we're in, but that would take all the fun out of wandering around aimlessly to find out where we are," said Mizuki as if he was doing them a huge favor.

"Do you really find this fun?" asked Itsuki skeptically.

"Only because I get to spend time with my team!" cheered Mizuki, grabbing Yuuta and Atsushi and giving them big bear hugs. Yuuta only shuddered because he didn't have any warning or context for this hug, and it wasn't as though he would have hated it any less if he _did _have warning or context. Atsushi was sort of equally ambivalent about the hug since it wasn't something they normally did on St. Rudolph. He would have welcomed a hug on Rokkaku since they do that kind of thing all the time (according to me, anyway). And Rokkaku saw this thought process occurring in his eyes, and decided to show everyone up by having the best team hug ever.

"You guys hug each other too much," Shishido concluded, looking over at Rokkaku.

"Somebody's jealous," said Bane, sticking his tongue out at Shishido.

"Pfft," said Shishido as he looked back at his badass team who would never be caught hugging. But he could tell that some of them were longingly looking over at Rokkaku and wishing Hyoutei was also a huggy team. You can probably guess which ones they were.

"All right," said Inui, clearing his throat. "This is okay. You all can just… keep doing that. Stay here and do that. I'm going to go be productive."

With that, Inui turned around and started marching off in a random direction. Everyone just watched him, confused.

"He has gotten really bitchy recently," Gakuto noticed.

"I don't know what he hopes to accomplish without the remote," Tezuka pondered.

"I somehow feel this is my fault," said Renji.

"Why would you think something like that?" asked Kirihara.

"Because I'm Renji," said Renji.

"Oh right," said Kirihara with an uneasy nod.

"I will make things right," said Renji as he swept past everyone and pursued his BFF.

"I'll come!" exclaimed Kenya excitedly since he was pumped about vampire lessons from Renji.

"Me too," Chitose decided since he couldn't be away from Kenya for too long or else he would forget how to breathe.

"Me too!" shouted Zaizen since his obsession with Chitose despite his disinterest was bordering on stalkerish.

No one else did anything to stop them and instead just stood there and watched them leave.

"Well now what?" asked…Hiyoshi. Or someone.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys. I am still having a difficult time producing creative things following the earthquake and tsunami. I think I've got some kind of block that won't come undone. Hopefully, sometime soon, right?**

**Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who have sent me messages regarding the earthquake situation, or people who just sent messages supporting me despite this hiatus. I want nothing more than to finish this (since I hate leaving things unfinished) so I appreciate your ability to bear with me. Your kind messages, reviews and every click on the story does make me feel better about things, and certainly more enthusiastic to continue, knowing there are so many of you who want good things for and from me.**

**So again, thank you very much. I hope to produce something of more substance sometime soon.**


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